The Brave Ones
by Bluestarshine
Summary: "What if she's not supposed to have her humanity? She won't feel the pain then. No more pain. No more regret, or loss, or depression. It's over for her now, she's not hurting anymore." Falling apart is a difficult thing; you can fight with everything you have and sometimes it still isn't enough. It's harder dealing with it on your own, but sometimes you have to be brave.
1. The Aftermath

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampires Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

**A/N: This is a side story to my other TVD story, The Story of a Crow and a Blackbird. If you have not read that you will not understand anything happening in this story, and I'd recommend reading the other story first.**

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The sound of rain heavily hitting the roof echoes through the Boarding house as Damon steps through the front door, Alaric by his side. He enters first, eyes instinctively skimming over the inside, searching for any potential threats. He finds none. Some of the lights in the house have come back on, meaning that the power is back on for now.

"Relax, Damon. It's empty." Alaric says, stepping past him and moving down towards the decanters. He picks up a glass and fills it, and then fills one for Damon, handing it to him when he turns around.

"You're straight to it." Damon takes the glass.

"Don't tell me you wouldn't be after the day you've had."

Damon smiles back. "I plan to get hammered tonight."

"Of course you do."

"What? What other way can I celebrate having you back?" he asks, then gives Alaric a look. "Don't tell me you wouldn't be after the day you've had."

Alaric shakes his head a little, watching Damon closely. "I won't be back forever."

"I don't need forever. I just need now. And I need your stupid sister to stop whatever she's doing, and get back here. You two need..You need time, and like you said, you don't have forever. Sometimes it doesn't even feel like I have forever."

"That was.." Alaric stops, watching Damon. He half smiles. "Weirdly deep of you."

"I know." Damon says slowly, frowning. He finishes off his glass and pours another. "Crap, I'm starting to sound like Stefan. You know how he...He gets all annoying and poetic."

The half-smile that had been playing on Alaric's lips grows in an a small, full smile and he shakes his head a little. "Actually, I don't."

"You've been gone too long." Damon says, between mouthfuls of whiskey. "See? That's what you get for being dead. You miss out on my annoying brother being annoying. And practising long speeches before he gives them to me."

"I don't think he needs to practise any speeches, Damon. You're predictable."

Now Damon is the one almost smiling. He swallows more whiskey and raises his eyebrows slightly, watching Ric closely. "Oh, really?"

"Really." Ric answers, still smiling a little. "You don't get what you want, you throw a tantrum, get lectured and then eventually apologise."

"I don't miss you that much."

"Liar."

"Mmm." Damon stops to drink some more. "Got that right. Guess you haven't been gone too long, I'm still the same, predictable liar."

"No, you're not." Alaric says, watching as Damon looks up at him. "You're not the same, Damon. But it's not a bad thing. I actually think it's a bad thing."

Damon stops and looks up, a slight frown on his face. The smile on his lips falter a little and he continues to watch Alaric closely. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. You're still a dick. And a liar. But..You're better, but it's not just because of Johanna. I always saw the humanity in you, the good. I think it's coming through now because it's always been there. You want to be better. Johanna makes you better, your brother makes you better, but you make you better too."

"How weirdly deep of you."

"I could be gone any second now and you're insulting me?" Alaric asks, then drinks some whiskey, sighing after. "Guess you haven't changed that much."

"Told you so."

Alaric shakes his head and takes a step closer. "And you still like to be right. You know you have a problem, right?"

"Yeah, my problem's have names. Jeremy Gilbert and Matt-" Damon stops, finishing off his drink and moving to pour another one. He swallows the contents whole and pours himself another drink.

"C'mon, Damon. You're not fooling anyone. You care about them."

"I don't." he drinks more whiskey, finishing it off a moment later.

"You care. About Matt."

Damon stops, and looks up at him. "There's nothing we can do about him, until we find Bonnie. And I don't...Tyler was annoyingly right when we ran into him. We shouldn't bother her until she's done dealing with this. Putting up the veil. All that...Then, she can help."

"Do you really think she can find a way to bring him back, Damon?" he asks, voice softening. He walks until he's standing right in front of Damon, sighing quietly. "She couldn't bring me back, or anyone else. Do you think there's a way?"

"I don't know, Ric. I don't know but she has to. And maybe if there's hope for Matt, there's hope for you." he says, voice low, filled with desperation and hope.

Damon looks away from him for a moment before he looks back at him. Alaric sighs quietly, places his hand on Damon's shoulder and squeezes it reassuringly. He seems sadder as he watches him.

"Sometimes there's nothing you can do, Damon. Death happens and sometimes you just have to accept it and try to move on."

He shakes his head, voice becoming louder. "No, not this. Not you."

"Damon." Alaric begins, but falls silent.

"You being dead – It almost killed her." Damon snaps back, voice rougher, broken. You think she'll survive losing someone else?"

"You can't bring someone back from the dead." Alaric sighs again.

"Why can't you ever support me?"

"You're talking about bringing someone back from the Other Side for good, Damon. And that's impossible."

Damon shakes his head, taking a step closer. "You don't know that."

"Don't you think if there was a way, someone else would have figured it out? Don't you think a more powerful witch would know? If there was a way back, do you really think all the other powerful, supernatural creatures on this side would still be here? No, they wouldn't. They wouldn't be if there was a way out."

"He can't be dead, Ric. He can't be. You weren't there. You didn't see her. You didn't see _him_."

Alaric squeezes Damon's shoulder again, watching him. "I'm sorry, Damon. There is no way to bring him back. I know you wish there was. I wish there was, but there's not."

"No, stop it." Damon steps back, letting Alaric's hand fall away, back to his side. "Stop saying that. You're not helping, you're just being a dick."

"I'm just trying to help you face reality, so you can deal with this."

"I'm dealing with it just fine-"

Damon stops when the front door opens and he spins around quickly, finding Stefan standing there, with Matt's body in his arms. He eyes Matt off slowly, and puts down the glass in his hand as he takes a few steps towards his brother.

Stefan casts a look between the two of them as he slowly carries Matt's body down the stairs. There's something different about Stefan, something in his eyes, but Damon can't quite identify what it is right now.

"I found him at Alaric's apartment." Stefan announces, stepping down off the last stair. "He's-"

Damon cuts across Stefan, finishing his words. "Dead."

Stefan glances at Damon briefly, before setting Matt's body down on one of the lounge couches and turning back to face Damon and Alaric.

"How do you even know that, Damon?"

Damon's mouth opens but he stops, realising something. "Wait. How did you find him?"

"How did you know he was dead?" Stefan repeats, a slight frown on his features. He seems tired, and that look in his eyes is still there, still unidentifiable right now.

Alaric steps in, asking his own question. "Where's Johanna?"

"One question at a - " Damon stops mid-sentence. "Johanna was with Matt last. She took his body from the Grill. She said she was taking it somewhere safe. Is she outside? Did she come here with you?"

Stefan sighs and rubs at his forehead, before letting his hand fall to his side. He looks away briefly, before looking up again a moment later, somehow managing to meet their eyes. He feels overcome with guilt and shame, and can only just look at them.

"I don't know where Johanna is right now, Damon." he says slowly, not sure if he can stay anything else. His voice is low, and sounds strained, broken.

"Did you see her?" Damon asks, watching his brother closely, wanting answers.

"Elena found Bonnie. She put the veil up." Stefan answers, not sure he can answer _that_ question just yet.

"What?" Alaric frowns slightly.

"What the hell? How is Ric still here? Why can we still see him?"

"Same reason I'm here." Lexi says from behind them.

Damon, Alaric and Stefan look over to where Lexi is standing beside the fireplace. She pushes herself off the wall and walks over to Stefan. He seems shocked to see her, but pulls her into an embrace quickly, holding her tightly.

"And what would that reason be? How are you here if the veil went up?"

"Something went wrong." Stefan answers, breaking away from the embrace. "But Bonnie thinks she can get the veil up properly soon."

"No. No, she can't do that."

"I knew you missed me." Lexi smiles a little, tilting her head to the side.

"No, you idiot. Matt's still dead. He..." Damon stops. "He's not supernatural. Without the ring, he's not.. He's just human. That means he's really dead."

"There has to be a way to bring him back." Lexi says quietly. "He's so young."

"Ric's right. There's no way." Damon sounds defeated, and shakes his head slowly. "There was no way back for either of you, so there's no way back for him."

"He might come back." Stefan says.

Lexi sighs, looking between the brothers. "I shudder to say it, but Damon's right. If we couldn't come back, and we're supernatural, a human can't come back. Not if he's already dead, and if he's been dead for a while."

"Max said something – There was something said about an anklet. Johanna's anklet-"

"Max?" Damon almost shouts. "What the hell were you doing talking to Max? Please tell me you were talking to him right before you pulled his heart out of his chest?"

"What's wrong?" Lexi asks, watching Stefan closely. "Something happened. I can see it on your face. What happened?"

"There's-" Stefan begins, but stops when Lexi speaks louder than him.

"Don't even try to lie to me, Stefan. Something's wrong, I know it."

Damon shakes his head, walking closer to his brother. "First I want to know why you were talking to that psycho after he killed Matt."

"He was at Alaric's apartment. He must..He got inside. He tricked Meredith. She's okay, though. I asked Caroline to stay with her until she woke up, just to make sure she was okay."

"What was Max doing at the apartment?" Damon asks, continuing to watch Stefan.

"He tricked his way inside."

"What does this have to do with an anklet? Did I hear that part right?" Alaric asks, small frown on his face. "And is Meredith okay?"

"Yes, Ric. It's a silver anklet." Damon answers, briefly glancing at him. "Carvings on it. Johanna wore it before, when she was human. She gave it to Jeremy before the island, and it kinda saved his life. Are you sure he's wearing it? Did you check?"

"I did, and he is-" Stefan begins.

"So he's not dead."

"No, Damon. They talked about it..The anklet. Johanna was worried."

Disbelief crosses Damon's face, and then anger. It spills out of his voice when he speaks.

"Johanna was there?! And you didn't think to mention that?"

Stefan sighs quietly, voice softer, calmer. "Damon, calm down."

"_Calm down?_ I am calm for someone whose girlfriend is missing, and whose brother can't seem to put a sentence together telling him where she is and what the hell she was doing in Alaric's apartment with her screwed up half-brother."

"Half-brother?" Alaric speaks before Stefan does, a deeper frown now resting on his forehead.

"Yes. You have a half-brother. Come and visit Jer once the veil goes back up, we'll talk about it." Damon says quickly, voice panicked. "What happened with Johanna? Where is she?"

"Johanna took Matt's body to Alaric's apartment." Stefan answers. "You're right about that."

"What happened, Stefan?" Alaric asks, taking a step closer. "Is Johanna alright?"

"No, she's not."

Lexi watches him closely, and her voice is quieter when she speaks, like she already has some idea of what happened because she knows Stefan so well. She can see the guilt lingering in his eyes, and the shame swirling within them.

"What are you saying, Stefan?" she asks.

"Max knew things. Things I didn't – He knew what we did to her. You and Elena. The three of us. How we...How we planned to use her as the Hunter to complete the mark. He told her, and I couldn't get inside. I wasn't invited in so I couldn't get inside, I couldn't stop it."

"Stop what?" Alaric speaks when no one else does.

"I couldn't stop Max...He knew..He told her how Alaric died. How he really died, because of Rebekah. She didn't know that. And she..She just.." Stefan looks away, and then back at them slowly. The guilt and shame he is feeling is clear on his face. "I couldn't get to her. Knowing the truth about how we used her, and how Rebekah killed...She just knelt down on the ground, and she was crying, and I couldn't get to her. I kept calling out to her, begging her to just come outside. To leave Max. But it was like she couldn't hear me."

"What happened next?" Lexi asks, voice much quieter, filled with concern.

"Where is she, Stefan?" Alaric asks, taking another step closer.

"I don't know. She – She left after..."

Damon swallows tightly, nervously. "After what?"

"I couldn't stop her. It was too much. She flipped the switch, Damon." Stefan answers regretfully, looking only at his brother. "I couldn't help her. We couldn't help her or stop it."

"No." Lexi says quietly, shaking her head slowly. She looks away from them for a moment before glancing back at the group.

"You're wrong." Damon says quietly, sounding disbelieving.

"I'm not wrong. I was there."

"How did – How did she leave?" Lexi asks when silence falls among them for a moment. She's trying to be productive, trying to fix the situation. "We might be able to help her if we can find her now. You might be able to do something to fix this."

Stefan sighs and runs his hands over his face, reliving the memory in his mind, reliving it all. He hears the words and the truths coming from Max, and he hears his taunts, and while hearing all of this he sees Johanna, kneeling on the ground. Falling out of the person she had become and into darkness, into a place where she wouldn't feel anymore because she couldn't stand to feel, because they took from her.

They took everything from her; her trust, her happiness, her hope. They took it all and they left her broken, and there was no way back from this, no easy way back from this. There was no way back that Stefan could see for them or for her.

"Meredith woke up." Stefan finally says, and lets his hands fall back by his side as he looks up at the group before him. "She let us in. Matt was..Dead. She was bleeding out. Max left, and when we got inside Johanna was still there. I looked away...For half a second and she was gone when I looked back."

"What are you saying, Stefan? Are you telling me that my sister, who just turned off her humanity because of all of you, is gone?" Alaric asks, his voice so loud he's almost shouting. He sounds angry and worried, but there is a guilt to his voice and a fear. He sounds just as helpless as they all feel. "And you didn't go after her? You didn't even try to find her? You just let her go? You couldn't even look?"

"Alaric." Stefan begins.

"No. This – No." Damon's voice rises, and he shakes his head. "No, you're wrong, Stefan. You're wrong. You have to be. Johanna – She is strong. She didn't turn her – She didn't turn it off. She didn't."

"There was nothing I could do, Damon. I couldn't get to her, and when I finally got inside it was too late. She was gone."

"You're wrong." he repeats, falling further into denial.

"I wish I was."

"Stop it! Stop saying that. Stop being so calm about this, Stefan. Her humanity is off, dammit!" Damon snaps, shouting now, voice much louder. The anger he feels at this situation and himself slips through his voice, and takes over. "She flipped the switch, and all you can say is you wish you were wrong. All you can say is how she was gone. You can't – We can't be having this conversation because this didn't happen. She didn't turn it off. She didn't."

"She thought Matt was dead, Damon. She thought one of her best friends, and the first person that she trusted in a long, long time, was dead. And then she discovered that her brother was killed by her friend. She didn't learnt that from us, or from Rebekah. She didn't hear that truth from the people she trusted, and she sure didn't hear from us how we used her as a hunter. Max led her towards it. He told her it would be easier. That she wouldn't feel it, and I could see it, Damon. I could see it on her face that she didn't want to feel anymore. She flipped the switch and it disappeared; all of the pain, the loneliness, the anger, it stopped."

Damon speeds forward, slamming Stefan back against the nearest wall. He expects a pair of hands to grab him from behind, or for Lexi to shout, by she doesn't and no hands pull him back. He looks over his shoulder and finds emptiness; they're both gone now. Slowly, Damon lets go of Stefan and takes a step back. He stares down at the ground for a moment, before slowly lifting his heavy eyes to meet his brother's gaze. Stefan's eyes are darkened and filled with guilt, and his face is contorted into an experience of great sadness.

"There's something else, Damon." Stefan says quietly, voice lower, filled with guilt. "Something that I didn't even...Didn't even realise. Didn't remember until he said it. And he heard it from you, Damon. You and Klaus. He heard a conversation.."

"No." Damon's eyes widen and he shakes his head, taking another step back. "No."

A look of shock spreads across Stefan's face, and he takes a moment to speak.

"You knew?" he asks, disbelief filling his voice.

"I knew. I – Klaus tried to bribe me. He tried. He knew. He was there with you, Stefan. You and some other vampire..." Damon says quietly, meeting his brother's gaze slowly. "I knew you didn't know, and I didn't...I didn't want to put that on you. You already carry enough guilt. You didn't deserve that, not when you didn't do anything wrong. And you didn't remember it. You didn't even remember it, Stefan."

"So, I did it? I killed her-"

Damon cuts across him, voice a little firmer. "You didn't."

"But I was there when her husband died. I attacked them. I attacked her."

"You weren't you. You were a ripper, Stefan. You weren't yourself."

"And now Johanna isn't herself." Stefan replies instantly, voice colder. "She is a vampire. With her humanity off. And she's sick, Damon. She's sick with that virus, and we don't know what the effects will be. We don't know what's going to happen to her. She is not herself because of me and you. Because of all of us."

Damon shakes his head, looking disgusted with himself, with them. He is disgusted with himself; they did this to her. He knows Stefan is right; they turned her into something she wasn't supposed to be, something she never wanted to be, and they ruined her. They broke her, and everything that has happened to her as a result of the decision that they made to use her is their fault.

"I know we were selfish." Damon manages to say; his voice is much lower, much more quieter. It grows louder as he continues speaking though, but remains shaky. "I know, brother. We were selfish because we started to care for her. Because she was – She is one of us. I didn't want to ruin that. Didn't want to ruin what we had. And I know you didn't want that either."

"You knew I killed her husband."

"You didn't do it!" Damon fights back a shout. "It wasn't you!"

"But I was there, Damon!" Stefan shouts back. "I was there when he died, and you knew. You knew and you let me continue to be around her. You let me continue to care for her, even though you knew what I had done, what I had witnessed."

"Stop it, Stefan. Just stop it. Okay? That's not your fault. You were a ripper. You turned off your humanity for me. That had nothing to do-"

"Don't try to make this better, Damon. Stop it!" Stefan shouts louder, grief slipping through his words, falling out everywhere. He shakes his head and takes another step back, disgusted with himself, and with all of them. "We don't deserve to make it better, and we sure as hell don't deserve to feel better about this. We don't deserve anything after what we've done to her."

"You think I don't know that? I do know it, Stefan. I know it. And I'm not trying to feel better. I'm trying to figure this out. I am trying to figure out how we fix this, how we save her. This isn't about us."

"What if there is nothing to figure out?"

For a moment Damon falters, staying silent, like on some level he knows just what Stefan is saying but can't accept it, can't believe he would suggest such a thing.

"What are you saying, Stefan?" he asks slowly, dangerously, a moment later. The anger hasn't disappeared completely from his voice, it's still there, stronger even, just quieter.

"What if this is it?" Stefan asks. "What if this is how it's supposed to be?"

Damon doesn't say anything back, he can't find the words, instead he continues to stare at Stefan. He watches him closely, eyes never wavering away, not even for a second.

"What if this is how things were supposed to go? She's been through so much, Damon. She lost two brothers. Her husband. She's not close with her father, and they have...Things are messy there. She has endured too much. What if this is how it's supposed to be? What if she's not supposed to have her humanity? She won't feel the pain then, Damon. No more pain. No more regret, or loss, or depression. None of it. It's over for her now, she's not hurting anymore."

"She doesn't have her humanity, brother! That's not a solution. That won't fix anything. I've been there, Stefan. I've flipped the switch, but you can't have it off forever. It helps, having it off. But it can't last, and eventually you start to feel. And when you flip that switch back on...It is crippling. It's too much. Everything comes rushing in. It's not over for her, Stefan. It's not over, it's all still there. It's just going to build up now. It's going to wait for her."

Stefan looks away briefly, before looking back at him. "I don't know what you want me to say, Damon. I don't know."

"I want you to tell me how you let her go. I want you to tell me what we have to do next, and how we get her back." Damon responds, voice growing louder and louder. "You've been there. You've had your humanity off. We both have. We can get her back. You and me, together. We can bring her back, Stefan."

"We can't. I can't."

Damon frowns again. "What?"

"I can't, Damon. I've done too much already." Stefan answers, his face filling with pain. He shakes his head and takes another step back. "I've hurt her too much."

"I've hurt her too, Stefan. But this isn't about us and what we've done, and how we deal with that guilt. That guilt is always going to be with us. Believe me, I know. I live with it all the time. This isn't about us, it's about Johanna. It's about what we owe her"

"I can't do it." he says with a quieter voice.

"I don't care!" Damon snaps, the veins on his forehead throbbing. He walks closer to Stefan, the anger slowly being replaced by the pain and the fear. "Do you think I can do this? I can't do this, Stefan. And I don't want to do this. I never wanted Johanna to flip the switch. That's why – I told her that I couldn't tell her everything at once, because it would push her too far and I didn't want that for her. I wanted her to have better, to feel _everything_ good. And she's not. She's not feeling anything good, she's not feeling anything and I can't – I can't do this. But I will do it because I have to, because I care about her. And if you care about her at all, you'll help. We owe her that much, don't we?"

Stefan shakes his head, eyes burning with tears. He takes a step back but Damon takes one towards him, reaching out to put his hand on his shoulder. With his hand against Stefan's shoulder, Damon tries to bring him in closer, to stop him from walking away.

"Don't." Damon's voice breaks unintentionally, and he keeps his hand on Stefan's shoulder, he brings him in closer and puts one hand on his cheek. "I know what you're thinking-"

"No." he answers quietly. "You don't."

"I do. I know you, brother. I know _you_." Damon says; his voice is softer, quieter, filled with more desperation, more needs. "I know you're blaming yourself for what happened to Jerald, but don't. You didn't kill him. You didn't even remember doing it."

"I should have known, Damon."

"But you didn't. You didn't know, so you couldn't fix things but you can fix them now. You have a chance to fix things with her, Stefan. Don't leave. Don't."

Stefan breathes out heavily and somehow manages to hold Damon's gaze. "I can't stay."

"Stefan."

He shakes his head slowly, lifting his hand to Damon's shoulder. He lifts his other hand to Damon's cheek. "I'm sorry, Damon."

"Stefan, don't leave. You can't-"

"Why? I let everybody down, Damon. I do." he says, and tries to pull away but Damon doesn't let him. He holds him in place, keeps their heads pressed together. "I let them all down, and I hurt them. Elena. Johanna. You. I let-"

"Stop it." Damon says, anger still in his voice.

"I can't."

"You can't leave. I can't do this without you, brother. What about that don't you understand? I can't do this without you. I can't bring her back without your help. I don't feel strong enough. There's too much – I can't do it alone. I need you. I need my brother."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." he breaks away, managing to get free of Damon's hold. Stefan takes a step back and then another, and when he looks up he is unable to ignore the emotions on his brothers face.

"No, stop. Stop saying sorry. Just stop. You don't have to be sorry. You can stay. You can stay and help, and we can help each other. We can do this together. I know we can find a way, we have to. You have to stay."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. This isn't about you. What about that don't you get?" Damon asks, shaking his head slowly. "You're – Everybody in this town is always calling me the selfish brother. You think I'm selfish, I know you do. And I am. I am selfish, especially when it comes to the people that I care about. I will always put them first. You and Johanna. Jeremy, Elena. I will always put you first. But if you do this, if you walk away, you're being the bad kind of selfish. You'll be selfish if you walk away from this."

"I'm not walking away because I'm selfish, Damon. I'm walking away because-"

"I don't care. I don't care why! You walk away, and we are through."

Stefan falters, shocked by the words. "Damon, you don't mean that."

"No. I mean it, Stef. You walk away from this, from me when I need you, and we are through as brothers. We have survived so much. Our bond as brothers survived us both flipping the switch. It survived Katherine and Elena. It survived the dark places we went to; you as a ripper, and me..We have survived so much, Stefan. But this.. If you walk away right now, we won't survive this."

"You don't mean that." he responds quietly, but there's a shakiness to his voice, like he does believe it on some level.

Damon stares back at Stefan, not looking away for a moment. His voice is firmer when he speaks, but it's also sadder, emptier. "You know I do. You know I mean it."

"I'm sorry." Stefan says quietly, regretfully. His eyes are still burning with tears, and he feels so torn up, so broken over this, over all of this.

"Don't do it. Don't leave."

"I'm so sorry. I can't be here. I can't be around here, or you. I can't – I can't be here if she comes back. I can't look at her the same, not knowing the truth. I need to go."

"Stefan." he says quietly, moving closer. He reaches out and puts his hand on Stefan's shoulder slowly. "You're all I got."

"I'm sorry." Stefan says quietly, breaking away from Damon. He takes a few steps back before he turns away, disappearing from Damon's vision a few seconds later.

For a moment Damon stares at the empty place where Stefan once stood, almost as though he is unable to believe it, unable to accept that Stefan is gone, that he has abandoned him. Damon takes a step back, still staring at the spot for a moment until he looks away, eyes skimming over the empty house. The silence of the house only makes it all worse; it makes the guilt grow larger and makes the loneliness more unbearable. He feels lost, and helpless. So very helpless. Damon takes another step back and then another, stopping when he hears a sound from the couch.

Matt gasps for a breath of air and wakes, his eyes flying open, body jolting upwards. His breathing is heavy and irregular, and after he tries to get up immediately he stops, leaning back against the couch for a moment. Damon stares at him for a moment, watching the rise and fall of his chest, not sure what to say. He finds it difficult to believe that Matt is alive, but it's a good thing. He would feel relieved about this if he could, if he could feel anything apart from the guilt and the loneliness.

A voice comes from the doorway and Damon doesn't look up, because it doesn't belong to Johanna or Stefan. It belongs to Caroline, and she isn't speaking to Damon. She's speaking to Matt; she rushes towards him, kneeling on the carpet beside him. She puts a hand on his arm and helps him to sit up, her eyes skimming over him, looking at his injuries. She calls out to Damon but he doesn't hear her, doesn't acknowledge her or Matt. Instead of answering them, Damon turns away, his entire body rigid. He moves towards the stairs, ignoring them, taking the stairs slowly before disappearing quickly, leaving them to a brief silence.

"I'm so glad you're okay." Caroline sighs, leaning forward and pulling Matt tightly into a hug. He relaxes into her, hugging her back tightly.

"Me too. I thought – Thought I was dead." he breathes out heavily, shakily.

Caroline watches him closely, a small frown knitted across her brow. "You're wearing the anklet. Why?"

"I don't know." Matt says quietly, looking up at her after they break away from the hug. "I don't remember why I'm wearing it, or who gave it to me. I don't know."

She shakes her head a little, the frown still intact, but a small, reassuring smile on her lips. "It's okay. You don't have to know. You just have to take better care of yourself. Where's your ring?"

"I don't know. Must still be..." he trails off briefly before suddenly sitting up straighter. His eyes are wider now, and his voice is strained. "Is everything still going on outside? Silas? And the Grill – Rebekah was at the Grill with me. I called her because there was blood there, and chairs, and something about a gas leak."

"Hey, Matt. It's okay. It's okay, Matt." she reaches out to squeeze his hand. "You're okay. We're all okay. Now, do you need something to eat? Does anything hurt?"

"Just a..Headache. I feel sore, but it's fine. I'm fine." Matt says, standing up from the couch. "I want to help. We need to start by finding everyone. Who – Do we know where anyone is? We have to find Jeremy and Johanna. Rebekah. Elena. Tyler-"

"Hey, slow down. Slow down." she stands up with him, arms moving to his, to make sure that he's steady and that he won't fall over.

"I can't, Caroline. I was – I was out..For a long time. I need to make sure everyone is okay." Matt shakes his head, voice wavering. "I have to make sure that the people that I care about are okay."

She steps forward when he does, blocking his way, her hand still resting on her arms. There's a hidden look in her eyes, and her voice is sadder, filled with more sympathy. "Wait. Matt, there's something you need to know. It's about Johanna."

"What happened? I don't.." Matt stops, and shakes his head. A look of pain spreads across his face, and his voice breaks when he speaks. "Don't say it. She's not – No. She can't be."

"She's not dead. She's not." Caroline answers quickly, after seeing the grief fill his light eyes. "She's not dead, Matt. It's okay. She's okay."

"What is it, then?" he asks, stopping when he receives silence. "Caroline, what happened? What happened to Jo?"

Caroline seems more than hesitant to talk about this, but she does. She sighs quietly and speaks because she knows that she can't keep this from him, that she has no right to and eventually it will come out to all of them. Matt deserves to know now.

"She found out. About..The hunter thing. How she was used. And about Rebekah driving Alaric and Elena off of Wickery Bridge."

"Oh, no. No. That – Oh."

Matt falls silent, eyes briefly moving away from Caroline to the floor. He stares at it, shaking his head, until he finally meets her gaze. The worry is clear in his light eyes, but the guilt is more prominent.

"Where is she?" he asks, taking a step forward.

"I don't know. I wish I did, but I don't know." Caroline answers, voice still low.

"What do you mean, you don't know? How can you not know? Did she leave town?"

"She turned her humanity off, Matt."

The shock settles in and Matt shakes his head, taking a step backwards. His voice is much lower when he finally speaks again.

"She didn't."

"She did. Johanna took your body to Alaric's apartment after you...She found you and took you there, I think she wanted you to be safe. Max was already there, Matt. He told her about it all. He knew it all, and she couldn't handle it. We couldn't get to her because we weren't invited in. We couldn't get through, and Johanna couldn't...It was _too_ much. She turned her humanity off, and she disappeared."

* * *

**A/N: **Hello!

If you're reading this it's likely you've read 'The Story of a Crow and Blackbird' (The story set before this one). If you haven't read this story, then this side-story isn't going to make any sense to you, so I'd suggest going to read it.

So, this story will focus on Damon, Stefan, Jeremy, Matt, and a few other individuals who are dealing with the aftermath of the veil being dropped, Matt 'dying', and the cure being taken. It will also have a big focus on Johanna's humanity being gone, and her disappearance.

There will be a few OC characters introduced into this story, and they will be relevant to certain storylines. If you have any questions let me know, and please leave me a review if you'd like to share your thoughts on this chapter or if you have any questions.

Thank you.

**x**


	2. Silhoeuttes

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampires Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

The rain falls down lightly now, as Matt and Caroline get out of their car and begin walking up towards the house. The thunder has stopped, and while the sky is still dark the storm seems to have passed for now. The town is eerily silent, with no sounds of sirens or cars, no faraway noises that Matt can hear. He feels a chill rush through him as a gush of wind passes by and he folds his arms over his chest, following Caroline as she leads the way to the front door of her house.

The door is unlocked when they get there, but she knew it would be. She knows that Elena, Jeremy, Bonnie and Tyler are here, because she told them to come here after, that it could be one of their safe places. Matt follows Caroline inside after she opens the door, and he shuts it as he enters, locking it for some reason, even though he knows that if something or someone wants to get inside that a locked door usually won't be enough to stop them. He turns away from the door and moves down the dimly lit hallway.

Most of the lights in the house are off, probably to create the look to someone passing by that no one is home. It's safer that way, for now at least. He follows Caroline down the hallway and to her bedroom, knowing that she's leading him towards the group, that she can hear them even though they're being very quiet.

When Caroline reaches her bedroom door she turns the door handle and steps inside, Matt right behind her. The room is dimly lit, a few scattered candles burning in it to provide the line. He finds Bonnie lying down in bed, blankets pulled up over her, covering her as she sleeps peacefully. Elena is sitting on the bed beside her, legs pulling up to her chest, while Jeremy is sitting at the end of the bed and Tyler is standing up, leaning against the wall.

Tyler's head snaps towards the door first, eyes widening when he sees Matt. They all look up when the door opens but don't say anything, not wanting to risk waking Bonnie up from the sleep she seems to have just fallen into. Matt lingers in the doorway while Caroline rushes into the room, moving silently to Elena's side. Matt shares a brief nod with Caroline before he gestures to the right, outside. Tyler and Jeremy must understand what he means because they follow him outside, shutting the door behind them. He leads the way back down the hallway and into the living room, stopping when he reaches it.

"Ohh, man. I'm so glad you're okay." Tyler sighs, pulling Matt into a hug. He pulls back, a look of relief across his face. "I thought you were dead, man. We all did."

Jeremy steps forward next and hugs Matt, tightly but briefly. When they break apart Matt takes a step back from the two of them, and watches them closely.

"Seriously. I don't know how you're here, but I'm glad. I'm so glad." Tyler says quietly.

"Me too. Real glad." Jeremy agrees, nodding.

"How's Bonnie?" Matt asks.

"She just went to sleep." Tyler says quietly, sighing as he folds his arms over his chest. "Elena and Jeremy found her down in the tunnels. She had to close the veil twice, it didn't work the first time. She's pretty exhausted. They think she'll need at least a few hours of sleep."

"Do you know where everyone else is? Damon? Johanna? Stefan?" Jeremy asks.

Matt shakes his head. "I just – I know Damon is at the Boarding House. I think, that's where he last was. I don't know where Stefan is."

"That's okay. We'll find them." Tyler reassures them.

A look darts across Matt's face and he turns away briefly, running his hands over his face and sighing quietly. He turns back to face them slowly, an obvious look of guilt on his face, mixed in with fear and sadness.

Tyler frowns and takes a step forward. "What is it? What's wrong, man?"

"It's – I don't know. I don't even know how to say it, or how to accept it. And I have no idea how to tell you what happened. I don't know. I don't know."

"It's okay-" Jeremy begins, but stops when Matt raises his voice.

"It's not okay, Jeremy. It's not okay. None of this is okay." he says, voice unsteady, filled with panic and fear, and something else much darker.

Tyler steps closer, hand raised. "Hey, man. Calm down."

"Ohh." Matt sighs again, taking a step back as he looks up to meet their gaze. "You don't – You saw Johanna then, Tyler? Didn't you? You must have. If you knew what happened to me.."

"Yeah. I was – I was out there with her dad, Martin. And Sam. We were fighting the Hunters together, and we went into the Grill. She was there with Damon, and she was – We have to find her. We have to let her know you're alive, because she was so upset. She was crying, saying we'd find a way. We have to find her."

"We can't." Matt answers, and that's all he says, it's all he can say.

"What?" Tyler frowns slightly, tilting his head to the side. "Matt, what's wrong?"

"Ohh. It's just – We're screwed. There's no coming back from this. We don't get to come back from this, not with her. We don't deserve it. Not after what we did to her."

"What are you talking about? _Her_?" Jeremy frowns more.

"Do you mean Johanna?" Tyler asks quietly, voice lower.

Matt nods a little, sighing shakily. "She was – Max told her. About how Alaric died. How he really died, and how we didn't tell her, how Rebekah didn't even tell her."

"After all of this, after all we've been through today, she'll understand. Won't she?" Tyler asks, sounding beyond tired. "She almost died. We all almost died, and you did die, Matt. She'll understand. She's good like that. She cares about you."

"She's gone." Matt answers, still shaking his head.

"What do you mean she's gone? What does that even mean? She can't be gone."

"She found out about how we wanted her mark. For the hunter." Matt says quietly, briefly shutting his eyes before opening them. "And Max, he told her other things. He must have. Caroline and Stefan, they were there and she..."

"What?" Tyler asks. "What happened?"

Matt seems like he might be sick before he answers, and when the words come out of his mouth his eyes fill with tears – these are tears of guilt and loss, tears of regret and pain

"She flipped the switch."

Jeremy stammers" "Oh, no. She – No."

Tyler seems to be able to believe this more than Jeremy does, he believes that something like this could happen, but he's still shocked and he's still worried. He tries to find a way to fix this, to fix everything and help everyone.

"And she's gone? She's just gone?" Tyler asks, the panic in his voice increasing with every word. "Do we know where she is? Or where she might go?"

"Caroline said once they got inside.." Matt stops, still unable to completely believe this. It doesn't feel real, it can't be real. He can't accept it but the words come out of his mouth anyway, the truth comes out. "She just disappeared. She left. No one has seen her since."

"We need to look for her." Jeremy says after a moment, not allowing his emotions to completely slip through. The denial is clear on his face. " We need to go find her. We will find her and we'll fix this. We'll fix all of this. We have to look."

"Not now." Tyler moves when Jeremy does, earning a look from both of them.

There's a deeper frown on Jeremy's face now. "What? Come on, Tyler. We have to find her."

"Bonnie's so weak right now, we can't leave her alone. She needs someone around her to make sure she's okay, in case anything happens. And we don't know if the ghosts are gone for good. We just need to wait it out and see."

Matt shakes his head, joining Jeremy's side quickly. "But Johanna-"

"She is capable of looking after herself." Tyler answers slowly, voice calmer than theirs because it has to be. "I want to be out there as much as you do, but we just need things to calm down a little more before we look."

Jeremy disagrees. "We can't wait, Tyler."

"Her humanity is off, Jeremy. She's probably going to go somewhere where no one will find her, at least for a day. Until she gets her head around this. We should give her time, at least a few hours. And then we'll get Damon and Stefan over here, and we'll go looking. Together."

* * *

The sound of movement downstairs draws Damon out of his room, where he had been drinking for the last hour. He moves slowly downstairs, not sure who he will find here, silently hoping that Johanna may have come home. He quickly realises that it's not her; Martin and Samuel are standing in the doorway, both slightly damp and wearing fresh wounds to their faces and arms. The faint smell of blood becomes clear to Damon, but he knows that it is their own blood, human blood. He walks down to them, sighing loudly.

"What do you want?" he asks, slightly slurred, a glass of whiskey still in his hand.

"We were looking for Johanna and everyone else." Sam answers.

Damon takes a step towards them, a small frown on his face and a dark look in his eyes. He stops and turns away from them, not wanting to look at them or be around them right now. He doesn't feel like being around anybody else right now.

"There's no one else here, so you might as well go." he mutters, swallowing some whiskey.

"Where's everyone else?" Martin asks, ignoring these words and staying inside.

"What about what I just said wasn't clear? I thought it was pretty clear. Maybe the two of you have had one too many hits to the head."

Sam ignores this and sighs loudly. "We're not leaving until we find out where Johanna is."

Damon scoffs a little and drinks some more whiskey, turning back to face them slowly. He tilts his head slightly to the side. "Well, good luck with that."

"What do you mean?" Martin frowns slightly, taking another step inside, closer to Damon.

"You missed your son too." Damon says, pausing and then releasing a loud sigh. "Oh. Right. I assume your next question will be, what son? Both of them. You missed both of them."

Martin tilts his head to the right a little, and continues to watch Damon closely, unsure of what he means. "What are you talking about?"

"You dealt with the ghosts." he rolls his eyes, and has some more of his drink. "Don't play stupid."

"I'm not playing anything, Damon, and I'm not so sure you should be drinking so much right now."

"I'm not so sure you have any right to say what I should or shouldn't be doing." Damon counters almost instantly, turning back to face them. There's a much darker look in his eyes, and his voice is significantly colder. "I'm also not sure you have any right in my house."

"Stefan said-" Sam begins.

"Yeah, I know what he said but he's gone. And seeing as he's gone and might never come back, I don't think anything he's said in the past is valid anymore. Meaning if I want to, I can and I will kick you out of my house whenever I want."

"I can see you're not in a good place right now. You're upset." Martin sighs quietly, running his hand over his face, not paying attention to the many cuts and bruises on his skin. "Something happened. Didn't it?"

"Oh, you can see that?" Damon asks loudly. "You can see that, can you, Martin?"

Martin says nothing, remaining silent as Damon slowly walks over to where they are standing on the stairs. He holds the glass of whiskey still in his hand, and drinks from it before he speaks again.

"You can see _that_ but you couldn't see when your own daughter needed you?" Damon almost shoulders, walking closer. "You couldn't see when she was alone, or hurt, or scared and she needed you?!"

"Hey!" Sam steps forward. "You don't get to talk to him like that."

"I'm sorry. Who are you?" Damon asks, pausing before a look spreads over his face. "Oh, right. You're a nobody. I don't know you. I don't know either of you. You both need to get the hell out of my house. I won't ask twice."

"Come on, Martin. Let's leave this asshole." Sam sighs, turning towards the door. He stops at the sound of Damon's voice, which causes him to turn back around.

"Oh. I'm the – I'm the asshole? I'm the – You're the ones that didn't care enough to be in her life before now. Did you?" Damon shouts, then stops, laughing a little. He shakes his head and sighs, meeting their gaze. "You didn't care. Then you come here, to this town, like you care. You're the asshole. Both of you. You're just..You're liars."

Martin looks between Sam and Damon before he speaks again. "I think we should-"

"Leave? Oh, right. That's what we all do around here. It's what you do. You leave your only daughter. Again. But that's okay because it's _just_ Johanna. No one cares about Johanna. They don't care about how she's feeling, or all that she has been through. But it doesn't matter now. It doesn't matter because she's gone."

"What do you mean-" Martin starts.

"Gone means gone, Martin. It means gone. She disappeared." Damon says slowly, the anger rising in his voice, returning to it along with the coldness. "No longer here. You should know the definition of gone by now, shouldn't you? You were gone for all those years."

"Hey." Sam steps forward protectively. "Shut up. You don't know anything about it, Damon. Alright? You might think you do but you don't. You have no idea."

Damon shakes his head, looking directly at Sam now. "You don't want to speak to me like that right now. You really don't."

Martin speaks next. "Where's Johanna?"

"She's gone, Martin. She's – I told you. Didn't I? Didn't I tell you what was best for her? I said..Being around me was toxic. Being in this town was toxic for her. But you didn't listen. You didn't listen, and I was too selfish to tell her the truth. I was too selfish to let her go out of this town, and now she's gone anyway. She's gone and Stefan's gone, and we have – I don't even know where to begin dealing with everything that has happened. I don't know where to begin."

"I'm going to ask you one more time, and then I'm not asking, Damon. Where is my daughter?"

"Your daughter is gone." Damon answers, bitterness ringing off his voice. "She is long, long gone. And even if you find her...If any of us find her, she's not the same. She's never going to be the same again. You know why? She flipped the switch, Martin. Do you – Do either of you know what that means? Her humanity is..Off. It's gone. She's gone. And there is nothing – _nothing_ we can do to bring her back because we did this to her. You did this to her. Your absence in her life did this to her. My lies and my selfishness did this to her. _WE_ all did this to her! We did this, and there is no coming back from this. We don't get to come back from this, and she doesn't get that either."

Martini looks away and then looks back at Damon. The disbelief and his inability to accept or believe that this happened is clear on his face. "Oh, no – I don't...How did this happen? Why?"

"I told you I was selfish. I told you that I was the most selfish person that you would ever meet, and I wasn't lying. For once I wasn't lying, and you didn't listen. You didn't listen." Damon shakes his head, finishing his drink and pouring himself another. He turns back to face them and drinks some more. "You really should have listened."

"Where is she?" Martin asks, voice much shakier and quieter.

"I don't know." Damon gives a slight shrug of his shoulders, drinking half of the whiskey in one mouthful.

"You have to-" Sam begins.

"I wasn't there when she turned it off." he says, between mouthfuls of whiskey. "I wasn't there. I don't know where she is."

"Who was there?" Sam asks, stepping closer.

Martin rubs at his forehead. "Where would she go? Is there anywhere she might have gone in town? Have you looked for her yet?"

Damon shrugs and turns away from them, moving to pour himself another drink, but he isn't able to because Sam rushes down to where he is standing and knocks the glass out of his hand.

"You're gonna answer our questions, Damon."

"Oh." Damon looks down at the glass and then up at Sam. "You're about to wish you didn't just do that."

"Stop this. Stop." Martin walks down to where they're standing, moving to break them apart. He shoves Damon back a few feet, and stands in front of Sam. "You're not going to fight. Not now. Not when Johanna needs-"

"You?" Damon asks, then laughs. "You think she needs _you_? What could you do for her? Make her feel something? Ohh. You just do not get it. Do you? You wouldn't get it. You haven't had your humanity off. I have. I had mine off for years. And I'm telling you this now so you won't waste your time – You won't get her to flip the switch on. You can't."

"You don't know that." Sam counters instantly, wanting to remain hopeful.

"Martin here was gone for years. I don't even know the half of it, but I know you weren't winning any dad of the year awards. You were gone. You left her and you left Ric. And I know what _she_ did to him, what she did to Johanna.. That bitch you left them with. I know what she did to Ric, and what she would've-" Damon stops for a moment, struggling to get the words out. "You let her hurt your children. You let her hurt Johanna. You won't get her to feel anything, Martin, because you never gave her anything good to feel. No good memories. No happiness. Only pain. That's all you gave her. So, if you want to waste your time then go ahead. Waste it. But it won't work, and you're just going to end up with more disappointment."

Martin's hardened exterior falters slightly, but doesn't slip. Somehow he keeps it intact, and his only reaction to Damon's words is a small, almost silent sigh.

"How did you do it?" Martin asks a moment later.

"What?" Damon frowns, the anger still clear in his words.

"You flipped the switch." he responds, exterior still hard, not letting anything through. "How did you turn it back on?"

"It doesn't - You can't use somebody-"

"That's not what I asked." Martin cuts across him, voice louder but still slightly shaky, still threatening to break. "I asked how you turned it back on."

Damon stares at Martin for a moment before finally answering. "It's complicated."

"Make it simple." Sam folds his arms over his chest.

"You know.." Damon stops, looking over at him. "You're really, really annoying and I want to kill you. I might just do it."

Sam ignores Damon's threats and continues. "How did you turn it back on?"

"Johanna." he answers finally, his voice significantly colder. "She..Helped."

"How?" Sam asks.

Damon shoots him a look. "Not your business."

Martin shakes his head a little, voice growing louder, less shakier. "Wrong answer. It's his business, and it's mine."

"It won't work. You don't get it. No two – We're not the same. What got me to flip my switch back on, and what will make her..Could be two very different things. They are different things."

"But you know where to start." Martin says. "You could help her."

"I didn't say that."

"You have experience with it."

Damon continues to shake his said, the rage slowly slipping from his voice and being replaced by a disgust. He's disgusted with himself and what he did to her, what he let others do to her. "I caused her so much pain. You don't understand that. She won't want to see me, let alone let me help. She'll never want to see me again after this. There's nothing I can do to help her. She won't want me near her."

"That doesn't matter. Her humanity is off. We need to get it back on, and we need to find her. What matters is finding her." Martin says, pushing it, pushing Damon.

"She won't want to see me."

"You don't know that. You have to try, Damon."

Damon almost laughs again, the veins on his neck throbbing with anger. "I don't have to do anything actually. But you two..You two have to get the hell out of my house. I'll ask one more time and then I won't ask again. And let me make this clear now: I'll have no problem killing you now because Johanna is gone. She's gone and she's not coming back, so she won't miss you. She won't miss you when you're dead because she won't be around to see it. You'll be gone and she won't care."

"If you care about my daughter half as much as you claim to, then you'll do this. You'll get over this mood you're in. You'll forget about your self-hate and the guilt, because that can wait. It will all still be here when you're done with this and you can deal with it then. Forget about that and focus on her. She is the priority. Finding her and helping her is what we have to do. And if you care about her at all you'll do this. You'll help us find her, and you'll help her get her humanity back on. Now, I'll give you some time on this..We'll come back in a few hours. Think about it, Damon. Think about her and what you owe her, what we all owe her."

Damon watches as Martin turns and walks away with Samuel right by his side. They move silently out of the parlour and towards the door, closing it once they are gone and leaving Damon to his silence once more. He turns towards the decanters and picks up a glass, pouring himself half a glass and lifting it to his lips but he falters before drinking it.

_If you care about her at all you'll do this. You'll help us find her, and you'll help her get her humanity back on._

The glass in Damon's hands slips a little so he moves to put it back down on the table, leaving it untouched. He takes a few steps backwards, towards the fireplace, stopping when he reaches it and closing his eyes.

_It's dangerous out here. We've been through worse. We'll make it through this._

Memories of Johanna come rushing into Damon's mind, burning his mind, his eyes. They move throughout him; his words, her voice, the feel of her hand against his skin. Her smile. The way she sounds, the way she laughs, how she moves. It all comes rushing in now and he can't escape it – he can't escape these memories of her and he doesn't want to. Damon doesn't want to escape them because right now they're all he has, and they're all he has left of her right now.

_You better come back to me, Damon Salvatore._

The darkness takes over her memories and he can't see her face clearly, he can only hear her voice, but it sounds faraway, distant. He opens his eyes to escape the darkness and finds emptiness. It's just as bad, just as lonely.

_After this I'll never leave your side again._

Damon turns away from the fireplace and reaches into his pocket, pulling out his phone. He stares at it for a while before he dials Johanna's number, knowing that she probably won't answer, but he has to try. She doesn't answer, and while this shouldn't disappoint him it does. It takes Damon another moment before he dials a different number.

"We have..A lot to talk about, and I don't want to have to repeat myself. Where's everyone else?"

"_We're here."_

"Who is?" he asks.

"_Matt, Caroline, Tyler, Bonnie and Elena."_

"How's Bonnie?"

"_Exhausted. Sleeping. Damon, I-"_

"Don't. Leave someone with her. I don't care who it is. One of you can just explain it to them later. Keep someone with Bonnie so she's not alone. The rest of you get your asses over here now."

Jeremy doesn't argue, instead he talks briefly with the group and then informs Damon that Caroline is going to stay with Bonnie and that the rest of them will be over shortly. Damon ends the call there and returns to his drink, swallowing all of the contents at once and immediately pouring himself a new drink. Damon drinks to try and forget the thoughts going through his head, the thoughts that remind him of his guilt and his pain, the ones that remind him of everything that he's lost. They all remind him of her. And past these thoughts of Johanna, past the distant memories and the faint sound of her voice, Damon feels a hunger. He feels it in all that he thinks about and all that he does. It's there, but he knows he can't quench it, that it has to be controlled.

He moves to the couch and sits down on it, keeping his hand around the glass in his hand. The darkness in the house seems to grow if possible, the light from the fireplace doing little to keep it away but he doesn't mind. Damon doesn't mind the darkness, it's always been there, it's always going to be there. He's used to it because it's been around, but this time it's harder because he knows that he's alone in this. All that he has is a glass of scotch in his hand, and the silhouette of his shadow fading out behind him.

* * *

**A/N: **Hi, guys. I decided to update this a little earlier then usual..I know that this chapter is kind of slow, but the dialogue is pretty important. Enjoy & let me know what you think.

Reviews: Taylorocks17, twin of a sister, adela, JoyScott13, dogs101, lea, jj, Julie for your reviews.

Guest reviews:

**Adela: chapter 1 -** Hi, Adela! Thanks for your review. I hope you'll enjoy the next chapter.

**Taylorocks17: chapter 1 -** Hey, Taylor! Thanks for reading and leaving a review. I agree with you, and thought it would be typical Stefan behaviour to leave Damon behind if he really felt he loved to. Jeremy and Elena are fine, as you'll know from this new chapter. I'm happy you're enjoying it, and thanks again.

**dogs101: chapter 1 - **Hi here! Thanks for your review. Enjoy the chapter.

**lea: chapter 1 - **Thank you! I'm glad that you liked it. How Johanna is and where she is will be answered soon, but not for a little while! Thanks for your review. Enjoy the new chapter. xo.

**jj: chapter 1 -** Hi there! Thanks for your review. No, as I said before this fic is going to focus on Damon, Stefan, Jeremy, Matt, and a few others. Johanna will make an appearance in this fic, but it probably won't be the way you're thinking and it won't be for a little while. I'm sorry.. I hope you'll still enjoy it.

**Julie - chapter 1- **Thanks, Julie! Enjoy the new update.

x


	3. Gone

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampires Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

Stefan emerges from the darkness of his hotel room and steps outside, closing the door behind him. He moves towards the railing and leans his arms on it, releasing a low sigh as his eyes skim over his surroundings. It's still relatively light outside, but the dark is slipping through and he knows within a few hours night will be upon him. He doesn't mind when it comes, he won't be getting much sleep tonight, or maybe for a while. Slowly, he lifts the cup of whiskey to his lips and swallows a large mouthful of the liquid. He sighs, pausing briefly before finishing off the cup. He holds the plastic cup in his hands as he rests his elbows on the railing.

The voices and noises coming from around Stefan fade away, and he pays them little attention because he doesn't care. He doesn't want to hear their conversations, or their laughter, and he doesn't want to hear their pain. He can't deal with that right now. He can't deal with much of it. It doesn't take Stefan long to return to the room and pour himself another drink. He shuts the door once he's inside and walks inside. The room is dimly lit, with only a small lamp on the nightstand providing light. The curtains are closed over completely, preventing any light from the outside world to slip through.

The hotel room is simple and small, but Stefan really doesn't care right now, he just wants to drink. He needed to get away from everything and everyone. He needed to do that for them, give them space from him. The room is all he needs; a double bed in the middle of the room, some wooden chairs beside a circular, brown table and a bathroom near the back of the room. The bathroom is simple too; blue tiles on the floor and white wallpaper. The blue theme seems consistent in the room as the bed sheets and wallpaper is also blue.

A small, shaky sigh escapes through Stefan's lips as he stops in front of the circular table. He puts the cup in his hand down by the bottle of whiskey and lifts his hands to his face, running them over his face and then through his hair. His hands end up resting at the back of his neck, fingers intertwined. He breathes out another sigh, but it doesn't help, it doesn't make him feel better. He feels worse, and he can't stop it; can't stop all the memories and the voices from flooding in.

Stefan moves to sit on the edge of the bed, putting his head into his hands, knowing that this is his punishment, this is what he must endure. The guilt grows like a sickness, spreading through him angrily, wanting to destroy him, to weaken him more, and it does weaken him. His breathing becomes heavier, and his hands shake, worse than they had been before.

Behind his closed eyes Stefan still sees them, he sees it all, playing out. First he's with Damon, back at the Boarding House, at their home and he's watching it all play out again. He watches as his brother pleads for him to stay, begs him not to leave him alone in this. Stefan watches Damon break and he leaves. He leaves him entirely alone, despite the desperation and the loneliness that was clear in his eyes, and Stefan knows the truth, he knows that Damon meant every word that he said.

_You walk away from this, from me when I need you, and we are through as brothers._

Stefan opens his eyes and moves, unable to stand anymore. He reaches for the whiskey and fills his cup, drinking it within seconds and pouring another, but the whiskey doesn't help. It does nothing to numb the pain or stop the voices.

_We have survived so much, Stefan. But this..If you walk away right now, we won't survive this._

That's the truth, there's no denying it, Stefan knows that now. He knows that Damon meant every word he said, and that they won't come back from this. He won't come back from this because he doesn't deserve to, and Damon, he won't be the same. Stefan throws the cup to the ground once it's empty and picks up the bottle, drinking from it quickly. He's trying to numb the pain, or ease the guilt slightly, but it doesn't work, it never works.

When he tries to stop thinking about Damon, and how he abandoned him, he wishes he hadn't tried to stop because he thinks of Johanna, and then he thinks of Alaric, and then Lexi. There are too many thoughts going through his mind and he can't control them, and the silence makes it worse, it makes it all so much louder. Stefan drinks until there's nothing left in the bottle, and that's when he realises that he has nothing here. No blood, no clothes and no more whiskey. He sighs quietly and ends up leaving the hotel room, moving down the balcony and towards the stairs.

First he picks up some new clothes, then some whiskey, and before heading back to the hotel, Stefan stops somewhere else. The hospital is pretty quiet when Stefan enters it and he is noticed immediately, by the woman behind the front desk. She glances up at him, then down at her papers, then back up at him, like he's caught her attention. She smiles a little.

"Can I help you, honey?"

Stefan walks over to her slowly, body a little stiff. He reaches the desk and looks down at her, managing a small smile.

"Are you here to visit someone, or are you hurt?"

"Just visiting." he answers quietly, taking a brief but detailed look at his surroundings before he glances back at her, realising that she's still watching him closely.

"What's the patient's name?" she asks, small smile on her lips.

He looks down into her eyes, and just as he is about to compel her the front doors open and he hears a voice that stops him.

"Paige. Is David in? I screwed my shoulder up."

Stefan glances up at the doorway; billowing, long curls of blonde hair and light blue eyes come towards him. His eyes skim over her quickly, first finding the blood on her shirt, and then noticing how her shoulder looks out-of-place.

"_Again_?" Paige asks, standing up from her seat, but not moving away from her desk. "That's the second time this month."

"I'm sorry, I thought you were a receptionist, not a calendar." the light-haired woman answered, still clutching her shoulder.

"I'm not a calendar. I am a-"

"Is David in?" she sighs loudly.

Paige pauses, and looks down at some papers on her desk. "I'll check."

"Thank you." she says, frowning when she looks up and finds Stefan watching her. "You going to buy tickets, or just stand there and watch the show for free?"

Stefan frowns slightly. "I'm sorry. The show?"

"Do I know you?" she asks.

"No, I'm here-"

"He's visiting a patient." Paige says, cutting across him.

"Paige. Is David in? I don't know if you could tell, but my shoulder is a little sore right now. You're either going to get me David, or you're going to get me some drugs for it, and you're going to put it back into place."

"I can't administer drugs-"

"Charlotte." a voice comes from the hallway.

"David." she sighs, and begins walking towards him. "Finally."

"Right this way." he says, glancing at Stefan for a moment, before turning and disappearing down the corridor.

Stefan watches as she disappears with the doctor, and he looks back to Paige, who is watching him again, a small smile on her lips. She eyes him off noticeably, slowly, like she's taking her time to appreciate him. Stefan clenches his jaw tightly together and forces another smile, leaning in to look at her closely. He meets her gaze, and then compels her to get him in to where they keep the blood.

When he's finished at the hospital Stefan returns to his hotel room, placing the blood bags away in the fridge, and the whiskey on the counter. He strips out of his clothes and walks into the shower, turning on the water and standing beneath it. The heat cascades down his shoulders, covering the rest of his body. It almost soothes him, almost. But something's holding it back from being soothing. He can't find any sense of calm because he doesn't feel like he deserves it, not after this.

_Why should he feel calm after what he's done? _Stefan sighs and closes his eyes, the hot water running down his face. He thinks of Johanna, where she is and what she's doing. He releases another, deeper sigh and leans his head back, opening his eyes. The water rushes down hist throat and chest, slipping through his fingers like everything else has been lately.

His brother. Johanna. Elena. Everything slipped right through his fingers, and there was nothing he could do to stop it, there's nothing he can do now. He's alone, and they're alone, and he wonders for the briefest second if this is how things are supposed to be. Maybe he's supposed to be alone, he knows he deserves it, after everything that he's done he deserves this.

Johanna didn't deserve anything that happened to her; she didn't deserve the lies, or the betrayal. He shuts his eyes again and sees visions of the lake house, memories of their time together, and it's all tainted by lies and betrayal, tainted by pain. He remembers Johanna's smile or her laugh, and then he thinks of the last time he saw her, her last moments with her humanity off, and the guilt comes crashing in even stronger.

Sometime later Stefan leaves the shower, guilt still hanging over him as he does. He reaches the bed and picks up his new clothes, letting the towel fall away from his hips. Once he's dressed Stefan walks over to the counter, picking up the whiskey and removing the lid. He lifts the bottle to his lips and drinks; he drinks for his brother and how alone he must be feeling, he drinks for those he left behind, and he drinks for Johanna.

* * *

The sound of voices outside draws Damon out of his room, down the stairs and into the parlour where the group has gathered. Jeremy is the last to enter, shutting the door after he has stepped inside. Elena and Matt are standing on the stairs, Tyler behind them. There are only a few lights on, Damon hasn't bothered to turn the rest on yet. Elena lets out a small sigh when she notices Damon, lingering on the staircase. He walks down the stairs slowly, making no effort to reach them quickly.

"Damon. What are you doing here all alone?" Elena asks quietly, concerned.

"Enough with the concern, Elena. This isn't about me." Damon says, sighing as he reaches them and walks past them, towards the decanters. "This is about Johanna, and Stefan."

"What about Stefan? Where is he?" she asks, eyes following him as he moves.

Damon doesn't stop walking and he doesn't look back at her, instead he continues walking, stopping when he reaches the glasses. "We'll get to that in a minute. First, I need another drink."

"I don't think you need a drink, Damon. I think you need to tell us what happened." Tyler says, voice loud. "We need to talk about Johanna, and we need to figure out what we're going to do next."

For a moment Damon falters and turns away from the table, looking up to meet Tyler's hard and unwavering gaze. He watches him for a moment before frowning slightly.

"I'm sorry, you knew and cared about her for...What? Five seconds? You don't get to talk. You're lucky you're even allowed here."

"Me? I was there-" Tyler starts then stops suddenly, taking a moment to calm himself before he speaks again. He sighs and speaks with a lower, calmer voice. "Look, I get it. Okay? You're upset. I get that."

Damon narrows his eyes on Tyler, the frown on his forehead deepening. "You don't get it. How the hell would you get it?"

"I've lost people too." Tyler answers, voice still calm but slightly shaky, almost weaker.

"Not like this." Damon shakes his head and turns away, picking up a glass to fill with whiskey.

Tyler takes a step closer, folding his arms over his chest. "That doesn't matter."

Damon fills up his drink and turns around, pausing to speak before swallowing a mouthful of whiskey. "I think it does."

"Is this really what's important right now?" Matt speaks up, walking towards them. "Really? If you two want to act like assholes, fine. But get your priorities right. Finding Johanna and fixing this, that's my priority."

Damon sighs after he's swallowed a mouthful of whiskey, and looks over to Matt. He meets his gaze, and his voice is significantly colder when he speaks. "You can't fix this."

"Why are we here?" Matt asks, tilting his head to the side slightly. "If you don't think that we can fix this, why did you ask us to come here? To make us feel bad for you?"

"What did you just say?" Damon falters, almost surprised.

"You're drinking. You're down, and upset. You're probably thinking you're the only one who's missing Johanna, but you're not, Damon. You're not. You're not the only one who's upset right now, okay?"

"No. Not okay. Don't forget for a second that your hands aren't exactly clean in this, quarterback." Damon snaps back, voice darker.

Matt shakes his head slowly. "But they're not as dirty as yours. They'll never be as dirty as yours."

Damon moves suddenly towards Matt, but Tyler steps in front of him, blocking his path. He lifts a hand up in the air but doesn't place it against Damon's chest, not wanting to anger him further. He meets Damon's gaze and holds it, hoping to calm everyone down.

"This is not what we need right now. We can't turn on each other!" Jeremy snaps, almost shouting. "And we can't be throwing the blame around, because you know what? The blame will go wherever it deserves to be. If you're feeling guilty it's because you are, and no matter how hard you try you can't push it off on to anyone else."

"How deep of you." Damon says flatly, picking up his now empty glass from the floor. He walks back over to the decanters and pours himself another drinking, feeling Elena's eyes on him the entire time.

"Damon. This is serious." she says, voice quiet.

"You think I don't know that, Elena? Really? Because I do. I know it is serious. I know."

"Okay." Elena says, sighing quietly as she folds her arms across her chest. "We know that the last place Johanna was at was Ric's apartment. Stefan and Caroline were there. Her humanity is off. She's all alone. We need to think about where she would go."

"That sounds really easy, Elena. I don't know how I didn't think of that earlier."

Elena rubs her forehead anxiously. "Do you want our help or not, Damon? Because that's what we're trying to do here, Damon. We're trying to help you, and we're trying to help Johanna."

"No, I want my girlfriend alone, out there with her humanity off. Yes, I want your help, Elena. That's why I called you here, because I don't know what to do. I don't even know where to begin."

"We'll start with something small." Elena suggests, sensing how lost he must be feeling. "Like searching the town for her. Okay? We can check the lake-house, and Alaric's apartment. The Grill. The school. We can look in town for her. She might still be here. We don't know that she's not."

"Good idea." Tyler nods encouragingly.

"Mmm." Damon murmurs, pouring himself a drink and finishing it in seconds. "Oh. We all know – We all know that the cure was taken, don't we? Does anyone have any idea who took it?"

Tyler shakes his head, lifting his hands to his forehead and rubbing them over his face. He releases a sigh and allows his hands to fall by his side, silently trying to remove the helpless feeling that is staying with him.

"No, we have no idea who took it." he says quietly.

Elena walks closer to the group, voice a little louder, a little more optimistic. "We'll start by ruling out possibility. It wasn't Silas. Bonnie took care of that."

"Are you sure about that?" Damon glances up at her, an uncertain look on his face. "Because people have a bad habit of returning from the dead around here."

"She's gone." Elena assures him, "Bonnie took care of it. His body was dumped in the quarry. He's gone."

"So, who took the cure?" Tyler asks. "If it wasn't Silas, who was it?"

"It can't be Katherine. She wasn't around. We would've seen here at the school, at least once." Elena says, pausing for a moment. "Or maybe it was her, and we just missed her. It might make sense."

"How?" Damon's voice rises, disbelief ringing off of it. "How does that make sense? There's no way Cedric would hang on to that cure, just to give it to that bitch. No, he gave it to – No way. That doesn't sit right with me. Not at all."

"What about Cedric?" Tyler suggests. "If it wasn't Silas or Katherine, what about Cedric?"

"No." Damon shakes his head. "Our crazy friend Ced gets off on the power of being a Hybrid. He loves it too much to give it all up for a chance at a humanity. He doesn't want humanity. He likes the power of-"

The sound of the door being opened stops Damon from speaking and he turns to it, they all turn to look at it. Damon doesn't even attempt to conceal what he's feeling despite knowing better, that it's probably not Johanna, his feet lead him up the stairs and towards the door as it is pushed open. He stops when it is opened enough to reveal who's standing there, and his heart sinks a little in his chest when it's not Johanna.

Elena releases a sigh and rushes up the stairs. "Meredith."

Meredith steps through the door, hair dripping wet and clothes covered in blood. She closes the wooden door behind her and glances up. Elena moves towards her to hug her, but Meredith takes a step back.

"What – What happened? I mean..I don't." Meredith stops, sighing. "I can't find anyone else. I couldn't – Why aren't any of you answering your phones? I was worried. You don't know how worried I was."

"I'm sorry. We're all sorry. It's just been...Very crazy." Elena says, watching her closely.

"Are you okay, Meredith?" Jeremy asks from where he stands, only a few feet away.

Meredith glances at Jeremy, nodding slowly. "I'm fine. I just wanted to make sure all of you were okay. Are we all okay?"

"We're all alive." Tyler answers quietly, because right now that's the best answer that they have. It's the only one they have right now, because they're not all okay.

Meredith immediately senses the tension between the group, her eyes skimming over them quickly before she looks to Elena. "What happened?"

"It's complicated." she answers, arms folded around herself.

"Where's Stefan?" Meredith asks, concern filling her features again

"Yeah." Jeremy says, looking up at Damon, where he stands on the stairs. "Where is Stefan?"

"He's alive." Damon answers vaguely.

Meredith looks to Damon now. "Cedric?"

"He skipped town."

She frowns, disbelief spreading across her face slowly. "What? What do you mean, he skipped town?"

"As far as we know, our favourite hybrid has gone." Damon answers, walking back down the stairs. "No one has seen him since this all went down. I say good riddance. He was just another pain in my ass."

"He wouldn't skip town." Meredith shakes her head. "No, he wouldn't. Not after all of this. You're wrong. He wouldn't leave us like this."

"Why?" Damon turns back around, meeting her gaze. "Because he's a good guy? He's not. There are no good guys. Not here. Not anymore. And even if there were, he's not one of them."

"What's wrong?" Meredith asks, watching Damon closely. She can tell by observing him that something is different, something went wrong, so when Damon doesn't answer she looks to Elena. "What happened?"

Elena sighs, and speaks reluctantly, wishing what she was saying wasn't true. "Johanna turned her humanity off."

"What?" Meredith almost gasps. "Oh my god. Why? What happened? It has something to do with her brother. Doesn't it?"

Damon tenses up, and catches her gaze. "How do you know that?"

"What?" she frowns slightly.

Realization floods in and Damon begins walking towards Meredith. "You let him in."

"He said his name was Enzo. That he was Cedric's friend." Meredith answers, recalling it all easily now. She lifts her hands to her forehead and brushes all of the hair away from her face, before looking back to Damon.

"And you just decided to be stupid enough to believe him?"

"I thought-" she begins, but doesn't finish.

Damon speaks loudly, rage slipping off every word that passes through his lips. "You didn't think. You didn't think, Meredith, and that's exactly why we're in this situation."

"You can't seriously blame me for this, Damon." Meredith counters, watching him closely.

"Funny, because that's exactly what I'm doing."

"You can try to blame me, Damon, but I did nothing wrong. I was trying to-"

"Look out for Cedric because you're interested in getting laid. So you forget about you friend Johanna, you forget about all of us, and focus on him."

"Damon." Elena looks to him. "That's not fair."

"No, it's okay. It's okay." Meredith says, voice firmer. "If you need someone to blame, Damon, go ahead. Blame me. But we both know it's not right. You know that you can't blame me for this. I did nothing but try to be her friend. I never lied to her, not once. Not like you did.

"We shouldn't - We have to stick together." Matt stammers, voice weak again, almost broken.

"We are. We will stick together, Matt, but I just want things to be clear." Meredith looks back to Damon slowly. "I want this to be clear for you, Damon, because it's clear for all of us. This is on you. It's not just on you, but you lied to her a lot. You hurt her so many times, and if she finally turned her humanity off..I can't say I'm surprised. And I'm not trying to sound harsh, I'm just being honest because I was there when she was alone. When it was just the two of us in Alaric's apartment, and you hurt her, you pushed her away again, I was there. She was still hopeful though, Damon. I could see it. She wanted to try for you, because she cared about you that much. She cared about you so much that she wanted to fix things, even though she was hurting. And if she finally broke, that is not my fault."

In seconds Damon speeds towards Meredith, but he is immediately thrown back by Tyler, ending up on the floor near the fireplace. He staggers to his feet, a mad look on his face.

"What are you going to do now, Damon?" Meredith calls out.

"Damon, this isn't right." Elena says, standing closely by Meredith's side. "Whatever you're about to do, whatever you want to do, stop. Don't do it, Damon. It's not right to blame Meredith for this."

"What are you going to do now, Damon?" Meredith asks, taking a step closer to him. "Are you going to kill me too, because I'm saying the truth?"

Damon stares at her for silently for a moment before speaking, his voice rough but controlled. "You need to get the hell out of my house, Meredith."

"I like you, Damon." she answers loudly. "You know I do. You know I care about you too. But after what I've been through today, I will not let you stand here in front of me and put this blame on me."

"What you've been through?" he asks, almost scoffing with disbelief.

Tyler sighs and shakes his head. "Damon."

"Isn't this enough?" Jeremy asks, but no one answers.

"Yes, what I've been through." Meredith answers. "We've all been through-"

"You didn't go – Oh, please." Damon almost laughs, the anger returning to his voice. It sounds less controlled now. "You were dumb enough to let that crazy into the apartment. What did you go through? What did you go through, Meredith?"

Meredith exhales shakily, hands unsteady by her side. "He almost killed me."

"Matt died." Damon snaps back angrily.

"Damon, stop it." Matt insists. "This isn't helping anyone."

"Yeah. Max killed Matt, and when Johanna – Do you remember the Other Side, Matt? Do you? No, you don't, because you're not supposed to remember it. You're not supposed to come back. But you did. You're back because of Johanna. And speaking of Johanna..You know who we ran into? Vicki. That's right. We ran into Vicki, right before you showed up as a ghost. Vicki appeared before Johanna, and then you did, and it nearly broke her. Right there and then, when she thought you were dead, it almost killed her. She was crying and begging me to help her. She was telling me how much it hurt, and how she couldn't let you die. She was begging me to find a way to bring you back. She was breaking right in front of me, and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't save her. So don't you dare tell me you went through hell today, because whatever you went through is nothing compared to what she went through."

"He put a knife in me, Damon! I was bleeding out on the floor. I was so – I almost died!"

"Johanna is gone! Her humanity is off. Stefan's gone too. You almost died, but you didn't. You didn't die. So that doesn't matter to me, not right now!" Damon snaps back viciously, eyes burning with sadness and rage.

"Where's Stefan?" Elena asks, tilting her head to the side.

"Gone means gone, Elena. I really don't know how much clearer I can be."

"Would you just stop it? Stop being an ass. Stop being so defensive, and evasive. Just tell us where Stefan is. Okay, Damon? Just tell us." Matt sighs, looking up from the ground. "Because we really do not have the time to be dealing with this right now. We don't have time."

"He left town." Damon answers after a long pause. "He couldn't...Deal with all of this."

Elena walks closer to Damon, concern filling her eyes. "All of this? With what?"

"It's not my place..To tell you."

"If he's gone, I want to know why." Elena pleads. "Damon, please."

"No, Elena." he answers. "You can't just bat your eyes and get what you want. That doesn't work on me, not anymore. Not for a long time."

"That's not what I'm trying to do, Damon. I'm trying to find out why Stefan left. What he couldn't deal with. Everything is so messy and so broken, and I am just trying to find a way to deal with all of this without letting anyone down. That's all that I'm trying to do. I'm not trying to-"

"He was there when Johanna's husband died. Okay?" Damon gives in. "There. You have it. Max knew.. He heard...He heard me talking with Klaus about it, and he told Johanna at the apartment."

"No." Elena covers her mouth.

Damon looks away from them for a moment, but continues to speak. "Stefan was a ripper at the time. He didn't remember, and he didn't do it but he was there. He was there and he...He couldn't stay. I begged him but he wouldn't stay. There was nothing I could say or do to get him to stay."

"Oh, Damon. We have to – We have to..." Elena trails off, looking to the others who seem just as lost as she is.

"What, Elena? We have to, what? Find him? Get him to come back? Save him? You don't get it, do you? I begged him to stay and he wouldn't. He couldn't stay. Stefan doesn't want to be here, he doesn't want to deal with this."

"He's your brother."

"I told him that! I told him..." Damon pauses, trailing off briefly. "I told him that if he left we were done as brothers. And he left, so we're done, and I doubt that he will ever come back. He left willingly. But Johanna, she didn't. So she is our focus right now. She is our priority. We need to put everything that we have into finding her."

* * *

A small sigh of relief passes through Rebekah's lips when Elijah appears before her, outside the gates surrounding her house. She rushes down towards him, the relief soon fading away as she recalls everything else.

"I came as soon as I heard." Elijah says, pulling her into a hug. His arms wrap around her, and she holds him closely. "You should have contacted me sooner, sister. Had I know about the veil going down, I would've come sooner."

"I didn't want to bother you." she answers quietly, holding him closer.

"Or perhaps, you didn't want me to stop you from taking the cure if you found it."

"That's not what this is about." Rebekah says, immediately recoiling from the embrace. "You think that I asked you to come back because I'm upset over losing the cure?"

"I know you wished-" Elijah begins but falls silent when Rebekah speaks.

"That wasn't why, Elijah. It wasn't why. It's not why I'm upset." Rebekah answers, pausing as a sadder look fills her eyes. "How you little you think of me."

"Rebekah." he sighs, taking a step towards her.

"It's about Johanna. That's why I called. That's why I'm upset. Not because of the cure." she says, watching him. "Yes, I wanted it and I know I've missed my chance. And that upsets me, but I called you about Johanna. It's about her."

Elijah tenses up slightly, but not noticeably so. He watches Rebekah for a moment, remaining silent as he studies her expression, but he can't decipher it, he can't figure out what happened.

"Is she dead?" he asks quietly a moment later, his voice almost raw.

"No, not that I know of." Rebekah answers, voice colder, but her eyes giving away a small hint of the emotions that she's feelings right now.

"What happened?" Elijah questions, still remaining tense.

"I woke up..At the Grill.. Max came in, and he killed Matt. He killed me after. Matt wasn't wearing his ring..But he's not dead. Caroline called me, just now. She told me that he's alive, that he was wearing Johanna's anklet."

Elijah clenches his jaw tightly together. "Where is Max now?"

Rebekah shrugs her shoulders a little. "Gone, I think. I don't know where he is. Johanna's gone too."

"Where is she?"

"She found out the truth, Elijah."

Elijah's exterior remains controlled and cold as he continues to watch Rebekah. "The truth about what?"

"Alaric." Rebekah says sadly. "Max knew and he told her. Caroline was there. She didn't say much, she couldn't...She told me that she couldn't get inside the apartment. There was a barrier on the door, and all that she and Stefan could do was watch...Watch as Max told Johanna the truth about that. And about how they used her to get the Hunter's mark."

"What does she know?"

"She knows that they used her. That she killed for them. She died and turned into a vampire because of them. She knows it all. Caroline said it was awful."

It takes Elijah a moment to speak again. "Where is she now? Where was she last?"

"The apartment, but she's gone now. She's been gone for a while, and I know she won't want us to find her."

"You do not know what she will want." Elijah answers, turning away. "We must find her. She is ill, and she-"

"There's more, Elijah."

Elijah turns back to face Rebekah slowly, expression guarded, eyes darker and resting on her. He takes a step towards Rebekah, head slightly tilted to the side. He pauses before taking a few steps closer. "How could there possibly be more? What else are you keeping from me?"

"Nothing." Rebekah snaps back, a little too harshly, a little too quickly. "I haven't done anything else to her, and I'm not keeping anything else from you, Elijah. It was Nik. He's kept it to himself this whole time."

"She remembers her time working for Niklaus well enough."

"Not that."

Elijah falters again, sighing. "Then what is it?"

Rebekah sighs and lifts a hand to her forehead, brushing the hair back off of her face as she looks back to Elijah. She seems reluctant to talk about this, reluctant to share it at all, and her face is filled with a mix of emotions.

"What is it, Rebekah?"

"Nik and Stefan knew each other...A few years ago. You know that, don't you?"

"Fragments of it, yes. I fail to see how this has any relevance to this situation, or how it relates back to Johanna?"

"Stefan was a Ripper. He.." Rebekah pauses, only briefly. "You know what he did, Elijah, what he was capable of doing. And the same for Nik. The humans that they did not kill, they would taunt. Almost kill. They would leave them for dead. I know what they were capable of, and what they did. But I didn't know who they did it too."

Elijah's forehead remains slightly creased as he takes a step towards Rebekah, still watching her intently, eyes remaining dark and guarded. "What does this have to do with Johanna?"

"She never spoke of him to me before, but she was married once. And her husband...Nik and Stefan were there when he died. I do not know who was responsible for it, but they were there." Rebekah says, voice wavering, becoming shakier. "She couldn't handle it, Elijah. It was all too much for her, and she couldn't take it. Caroline told me that Max was shouting at her. Pushing her to turn it off. To flip the switch so she wouldn't have to feel it all, and she did. She turned off her humanity, Elijah. It's off. She's out there alone. Sick. And there is nothing that you and I can do to help her."

"Rebekah." he sighs, a fragment of sadness slipping through his voice. He reaches out to touch her shoulder but she pulls her arm away.

"Please do not pretend that it's okay, and do not lie to me. It is so far from okay, Elijah. She is lost. We have lost her and there is nothing we can do to bring her back."

"We can find her." Elijah insists, but it sounds weak, almost unsure.

"And then what, Elijah? What does the next part of your plan include? We find her and force her to turn her humanity back on? It doesn't work like that, and you know it. We all know that. She cannot be forced to do something she doesn't want to do."

"We owe it to her to help. She would want that. You owe it to her, Rebekah."

Rebekah shakes her head, taking a step away from him. "I owe her nothing."

Elijah frowns, disbelief quickly filling his eyes. "You killed her brother and kept that truth from her. You owe her-"

"Nothing. Because there is nothing that I could ever do to make up for that, Elijah. Nothing at all, and you know that. She will never forgive me for that."

"So, your assumption that she will be unable to forgive you for all of eternity will stop you from trying?" Elijah asks, head slightly tilted to the left. "You have been selfish with her, Rebekah. Keeping the truth hidden from her has been selfish. Do not continue to be selfish."

"She was my friend, Elijah. That is why I kept the truth from her." Rebekah responds defensively. "Yes, I was selfish but I cared about her. I still do."

"You must help her, even if she will refuse it, even if she is to hold this against you for the next thousand years. You owe this much to her."

"What do you owe her?" Rebekah asks, then steps closer. "You owe her nothing, Elijah. You have never done wrong by her, not like I have, not like Damon and the others have. So, why are you doing this? Why do you feel like you have to?"

"You're wrong, Rebekah. I do not feel that way."

Rebekah continues to watch Elijah closely, and even though he doesn't let anything slip away she knows him, knows that he is hiding something, that he is feeling something that he will not show.

"You feel something."

"Guilt." Elijah answers coldly. "I was with her in New Orleans. Briefly."

"And?"

"And I did nothing as they..." he stops, glancing away for a moment before looking back up at her. "I did not help her when she needed it."

"What happened to her in New Orleans?" Rebekah frowns deeper. "What could make you feel such guilt?"

"We must focus on finding her first." Elijah says, and takes several steps backwards. "I will contact Niklaus. He will help us find her."

Rebekah shakes her head at Elijah, not believing that Klaus will help them, or Johanna. "He doesn't care for her. He doesn't know her. Why would he help?"

"He cares in his own way."

"It can't be a good way then." Rebekah answers almost immediately, a look of disbelief still on her face.

"He will help. We will find her." Elijah insists, voice low.

"And then what?"

"We will figure it out from there."

* * *

**A/N: **Hi all! Thank you for the follows and favourites of this. I'm glad you all seemed to have found this story, so you're not missing anything. If you have any questions or comments, please leave a review, I love knowing what people think of my stories and the chapters.

Also, since you guys are so awesome I wanted to say that **if there's something you want to see** in this story or in the next one (The Death of a Crow and a Blackbird) Let me know, okay? Like you could say you want more Elijah scenes, more Cedric. Or you want to see Cedric have scenes with a certain character. Or maybe there's something you want no humanity Johanna to do. If there's something in particular you would like to see or were hoping I would write, leave it in the comments and let me know because I'm always happy to try to add things in or adapt it. Enjoy the update. I'll probably be updating again soon because I've got some _really_ cool stuff that I want you guys to find out. Seriously, I'm so excited for you to know it. Thanks again.

Thank you: **Taylorocks, Adela, Joyscott and Paigetvdspn for your reviews.**

**Guest Reviews:**

**Taylorocks17 chapter 2: **Thank you so much! I appreciate your review, and I'm glad you liked the chapter. I hope you like the new update, and thanks again. :)

**Adela chapter 2: **Hi, Adela! Thank you! I'm glad you like it, and I hope you enjoy the chapter. They will find her eventually, and help as much as they can. Thanks again, enjoy the update. :)


	4. A Light In The Shadows

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampires Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

The streets are busy and filled with people going about their day as Stefan walks through them, remaining unnoticed. He spot a diner at the end of the street, and decides to enter it after observing that it isn't as busy as the other stores. The bell above the door rings when Stefan pushes the door open and he walks inside, eyes skimming over the room as briefly as he can. He's trying to ignore all of these strangers, because sometimes strangers bring reminders of the people he knows, the people that he's trying to forget about.

Stefan walks towards a booth near the back of the diner and slides in, reaching for the menu but not reading it immediately. He sets the menu back down on the table and pulls his phone out of his pocket to look at it. He has several missed calls, from all of the group except Damon and Johanna, not that he was expecting either of them to make contact. A new message from Caroline appears on his screen but he ignores it, just like he's ignored all of their messages, and he puts his phone back in his pocket just as a waitress appears in his vision.

When Stefan looks up he immediately recognises the waitress as the young woman from the hospital, with the injured arm. Charlotte. She's wearing a plain black skirt and a long sleeved, button up grey shirt, and her hair is pulled up messily. From the look on her face he believes that she has recognised him, but he frowns, wondering why she looks so happy and excited to see him.

"Oh my god. I can't believe how familiar you look." Charlotte says, a smile growing on her lips as she stops in front of him.

Stefan's frown deepens, and he hesitates before answering, "I'm sorry, do-"

"I can't believe you're here at this diner! What are the chances?"

He glances away from her briefly, then back at her. "It looked...Less busy than the others."

"Still. I can't believe it." she exclaims, and then puts her hand on her hip. "What can I get you, sweetie? Anything you want, it's on the house."

Stefan frowns more and falters. "I think you have the wrong person."

"No, no, I don't. I know your face. You look just like Steven Von Schleicher."

He pauses, silent for a minute. "I'm sorry?"

"Steven Von Schleicher." she answers enthusiastically. "You know, from that show. Ah, I can't remember the name. But you know the one? Something about sunrises. You look just like him. He's in that band too."

Stefan's lips open but he doesn't say anything right away.

"Wait." Charlotte eyes him off noticeably "You really don't know him? Are you _that_ old?"

"No, no you're right. I remember now..." he pauses noticeably. "Steven."

"Yes!" Charlotte smiles, hitting him in the shoulder with the small notebook. "Von Schleicher!"

"Von Schleicher." Stefan repeats flatly, forehead still knitted into a frown. "Right."

"So.." she presses her lips together, then smiles at him. "Can I get you anything? On the house, of course, since you look so much like him."

"Ah, sure. A coffee, thanks."

"Really?"

Stefan nods slowly. "Yeah. That's good."

"Really?" Charlotte repeats, hand still on her hip. "You'd really take something on the house because you look like someone that doesn't exist."

A look of confusion spreads across Stefan's features. "I'm sorry?"

"Quit saying sorry."

"I don't understand what you're saying."

"There is no Von Schleicher, jerk." Charlotte sighs, the smile vanishing from her face. "You're like the third person I've caught on that one. You can pay full price for your coffee, I don't work for nothing."

"Wait. You just -" Stefan pauses, frowning more. "You made that up?"

"Just a coffee?"

"I thought the name sounded made up." he answers, leaning back in his seat slightly as he watches her. "I did think it was made up."

"Really? Well, you fell for it pretty easily, Steven." she answers, unconvinced,

"My name's not Steven."

Charlotte shrugs and opens her notebook, writing something down then looking up at him. "I don't care. Anything else you want with the coffee, Steven?"

"Yes. Maybe something I can fill in to give your boss." he answers, watching her still.

"I am the boss."

Stefan scoffs a little. "No, you're not."

"Actually, I am. This is my father's diner. He doesn't work anymore. So, yeah, I'm the boss."

"Ohhh." he sighs, glancing around the almost empty diner then looking back at her. "That..That really explains so much."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing. Can I have my coffee?"

"I'll leave a little something special in it."

Stefan watches as Charlotte leaves and carries the order back to the kitchen. He stares after her for a moment before he looks down at the menu, eyes skimming over it quickly and carelessly. He redirects his gaze to the window and looks outside, unable to avoid looking upon the strangers and unable to ignore the constant reminders. It can be the simple things that remind him, like a shade of brown that reminds him of Elena's hair, or light eyes that remind him of Johanna's. When it comes to Damon almost everything is a reminder. They never leave his thoughts, not for long, and he knows that he deserves the guilt to stay with him forever.

"Here's your coffee." Charlotte's voice returns him to reality.

He looks up and finds her standing near him, setting the coffee down. There's another plate in her hand and she sets it down on the table, looking up to meet his gaze once she had.

"I lied. This isn't my place. My boss wanted me to give you a...Cookie on the house. I'm pretty sure they're stale, but enjoy."

"Thank you." he answers quietly.

"So, he has manners?"

"I think someone needs a refill." Stefan says, gesturing toward the men at the counter, who are watching her. "You should get back to your work."

Charlotte looks back at him slowly. "I lied about the cookies. They're freshly baked. Enjoy."

Stefan nods and looks away from her, watching from the corner of her eye as she walks around the counter and talks with the men behind it for a moment. She doesn't end up filling their mugs with coffee because they leave, and once they're gone she tidies up their mess and gets back to work.

The coffee is actually nice when Stefan drinks it, and he ends up drinking most of it. The cookie isn't stale either, and while he doesn't eat all of it he enjoys eating it. He finishes up a few minutes later, pulling a roll of bills out of his pocket after he's finished. He puts a few on the table and leaves the diner without looking back.

* * *

"She's not here." Damon announces a moment after they've arrived at the lake house.

They've only just arrived but he already knows that she's not here, that everything is just how they left it, untouched and unmoved. He can hear everything on the lake house clearly, so he knows with complete certainty that she's not here.

"You don't know that." Jeremy disagrees, shutting the car door and joining Damon. "She could be. Why don't we just take a-"

"She's not here, Jeremy. I can hear _everything_. She's not here."

"I'll call Caroline."

Damon ignores Jeremy and follows the path down to the front stairs of the deck, walking up them. He finds the spare key and unlocks the front door, pushing it open and walking directly to where he has stashed the whiskey. He finds the bottle, picks it up and removes the lid, drinking eagerly from it unto Jeremy steps inside.

He sighs. "Really, Damon? You think that's a good idea."

"We've checked the lake house. Twice in the past two days. She's not here. She's not going to magically appear here. And she's not coming back. It's a waste of time, so yes, I think drinking is a good idea right now."

"Is that your way of giving up on her?"

"I'm not giving up on her. I'm giving her what she wants."

"What she wants?" Jeremy almost shouts back then sighs, glancing away for a moment as he struggles to remain calm. He looks back at Damon slowly. "This isn't what she wants, Damon. She never wanted this, to have her humanity off, or to be sick and alone with some sort of virus. We've seen what it's done to you."

"What has it done to me? I'm hungry all the time. So, what? That means nothing. I'm hungry. And -"

"You ripped April's head off feeding from her. You're dangerous. And we – We haven't even had a funeral for April yet."

"That's not my problem." Damon answers coldly.

"Why don't you just stay here and sulk? Drink alone, if it's not your problem. We really don't need you adding to this in such a negative way."

"How else should I add to it, Jer? Should I be positive when I know there is nothing to be positive about? Johanna's gone. She's sick. My brother is gone, he's probably turned his humanity off too. And I killed April. I know what's going on. I know. There is nothing to be positive about. The sooner that you and the gang realise that, the better it will be – Oh, wait. No, it won't be better because it's not going to get better than this We don't deserve for it to."

"Maybe that's how you feel. Like we all don't. And that's wrong, because we do deserve better than this. Even you."

Damon scoffs and looks at him with disbelief. "That's a lie and you know it. Now, let's get back. I'm hungry."

"We have to keep looking." Jeremy insists, not moving.

"Where? Where do you want to look, Jeremy? The Gilbert House? That's gone. My house? That's empty. The Grill? The school? The graveyards? Rebekah's house? They're all empty. She isn't here. No one has seen her for two days. She is long gone. Liz couldn't even trace her phone. It's all gone."

"We'll find her. We have to."

"She doesn't want to be found."

Jeremy shakes his head, his voice breaking slightly. "You can't just give up on her, not after all you've put her through, after all that you've been through together."

"I'm not giving up. I'm just..I am the only one around here who is able to recognise a lost cause when I see one. She won't come back to us until she's ready, if that time ever comes...I don't know. I don't know, Jeremy, and neither do you. Just face the reality: She's gone right now, and she might never come back to us. And all of this searching around town is useless. We all know it."

"Fine. Stay here. Sulk. Drink. I don't care, I'm looking for her because she's my friend. I care about her-"

"So do I." Damon answers, voice wavering, filling with guilt.

"Then don't give up. If you care about someone, you never give up on them."

Damon rolls his eyes. "What card did you read that off?"

"Screw this." Jeremy sighs and begins moving to the door. "I don't need this right now."

"Then go. It's real easy. You put one foot in front of the other. I'm sure a dumbass like yourself could even work that out."

Damon stares after Jeremy as he disappears, and waits a moment until he hears the car start up and begin to drive away. He lets him go because it's not his car and he doesn't care where Jeremy goes. He'd rather be alone right now anyway.

The silence returns to Damon a few moments later and he picks up the whiskey, drinking from it until almost half of it is gone. He sighs and lowers the bottle, eyes skimming the room and moving towards the stairs, and for a while he can't take his eyes off of the stairs. He can't stop reliving the memories that this place holds for him, for both of them.

He thinks back to her birthday party, which wasn't that long ago. The night they spent together, and the next morning. Her words are painful as they come rushing back to him, but it's not as painful as the images that flash before his eyes. Damon can't stop seeing her, he can't get her out of his mind.

"Dammit." he curses and finishes off the whiskey, before his feet take him towards the stairs.

The stairs lead him to the room she'd spent so many days and nights in when they were training, the room that he had come accustomed to calling hers. Damon grips the door handle slowly, hesitating before he turns it and pushes it open to look inside. It's just how he remembers it; the curtains hanging from the windows, the blankets on her bed, the bed that he once spent hours in when he almost died.

The floorboards creak slightly as Damon walks inside the room slowly, his eyes paying attention to every little detail as he looks over the room, forgetting everything in reality and allowing himself to return to reality. When he looks up to the door that leads into the bathroom he sees her, just how she was, hair pulled up, in her training outfit, sweaty and dirty but still ready to fight.

Damon looks to the doorway and sees another image of her, and his expression falters, almost breaking. He looks away from the door and to the bed, and he sees her lying there and for a moment he watches her. But the memory of her shifts and changes, and she's lying on the floor, and he remembers this so well, remembers her falling asleep on the floor. He came in and covered her with a blanket to keep her warm. Thinking of this returns him to the Gilbert House and all of the memories that they share there. He remembers taunting her, asking her about her rings, and then he remembers when they all had dinner there, and she'd looked so beautiful, and he'd pushed her away and sent her running from the house.

"Ohh..." Damon sighs again, moving towards the bed. He sits down on it slowly, lowering his head into his hands.

Another sigh escapes through his lips as he relives the memories, the words, the visions, the feelings, her touch, her voice. It's all too much. It's been far too long since he's seen her, and he can feel an aching pain in his chest, and if he didn't know he loved her before now he knows it now, he knows that this must be what love truly feels like, when you feel as though you can't exist without the other person near, when you feel yourself breaking and cracking on the inside.

"You said..You said you'd come back." he whispers, not sure why he's speaking, the words just slip out. He can't stop them, he doesn't want to. "I said I would too. But you didn't...You didn't come back to me. And I screwed this up. I screwed this up, I know I did. I can fix it. I can try. I just need you to come back to me. I just need to know you're okay, because this is killing me, Johanna. It's just...It's..."

A few moments of silence pass until the sound of floorboards creaking catches Damon's attention and he immediately stands up, turning to face the door. The disappointment is clear on his face when he finds Jeremy standing there.

"I can – I couldn't leave you, Damon. I couldn't leave. And I know you can't just stop doing this, you can't stop looking for her. You can't do it alone either." he admits, sounding vulnerable.

Damon stares at him for a while before he finally speaks. "I can't lose her."

"I know. I can't either." Jeremy answers, watching him closely. "We can't lose her, and we can't lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"That doesn't matter. You don't have to leave for us to lose you. And you could still...You could still leave. We don't know where we'll be in a day from now. Let alone a few weeks."

"You don't mean that." Damon pulls a face. "You don't need me. None of you."

"Yeah, we do, Damon. We do. Johanna needs you too, and as hard as it is..You need to be strong for her."

"You don't know anything about this."

"Actually I do, Damon. I know more about this than you do, and more than you think I do. I know how hard it is to lose someone that close to you, and I know that you want to give up. You want to stop trying to be good, you want to stop trying to fix everything, because you're feeling alone and you're tired." Jeremy pauses, voice louder but still shaky. "You miss them like crazy, and you just want to give up. And you find yourself wondering if they'd even care if you give up. Well, the answer is yes. Yes, they would care. Yes, Johanna will care if you give up on her. If she gets back to us, and we don't know that she will, but I'm hoping that she will...If she gets back to us, to you, she's going to care. She's going to need you around."

"I don't know what to do."

"Neither do I." Jeremy says, taking a step closer. "But it's better not knowing what to do when you're with other people. Because if you're lost on your own, you don't get to come back from that. Not for a long time."

Damon clenches his jaw tightly. "When did you get so wise?"

"I've always been this wise." Jeremy responds almost instantly.

"Liar."

Jeremy shrugs. "It just happened over time."

Damon nods slowly and glances away from Jeremy for a moment, before slowly looking back at him. He watches him quietly for a moment before he speaks.

"You really think we can get her back?"

"I don't know. I hope so." Jeremy answers, pausing. "There's a chance that we won't get her back, just like there's a chance that if we do, she won't be the same. But we have to take that risk. Don't we?"

"I can't lose her, Jeremy. I can't..I've lost Stefan. I can't-"

"You haven't lost him."

Damon shakes his head slightly, and instead of sounding angry when he speaks he just sounds sad, he sounds as tired as his eyes look.

"Yes, I have. But that's not what this is about. This is about Johanna, and you were right. We can't stop looking for her." Damon says, taking a few steps towards then door and then halting. "Where's everyone else?"

"Elena's still with Bonnie. I think Matt and Tyler were checking the Grill and the school again. Caroline was waiting at the Boarding House. Martin and Samuel were checking the forests, I think."

"Let's call it a day, Jer. You look tired." Damon says, eyes skimming over him briefly.

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, well that's great." he responds flatly. "But I'm tired."

Jeremy sighs quietly. "Damon."

"Call them off. They've been looking non-stop for the past few days. They all deserve a break." Damon says, stepping out of the room. "We'll pick things up first thing tomorrow. Let's get out of this place."

Damon and Jeremy return to the Boarding House once they leave the lake house, finding only Caroline inside, waiting. She seems a little less hopeful when they return without any signs of Johanna, but she nods and smiles, assuring them both that things will be fine. Caroline waits until Damon has left the room and gone upstairs before she speaks to Jeremy.

"How is he?" she asks softly.

Jeremy shrugs a little. "The same as he was before. Cranky. Upset. Lost."

"Do you think there's anything we can do for him?"

"Apart from find Johanna and Stefan, and fix things? No, I don't think there's anything we could do."

Caroline hesitates before speaking. "What about Alaric?"

"What about him?"

"What if you could summon Alaric? Get him here?"

"I don't understand what that would do-"

"Before, when he was..." Caroline pauses briefly. "Alaric has always been good at getting through to Damon, even now. And who knows, he might have something we can do to help Johanna too. Something to tell her when we find her that might help her turn her humanity back on."

"You think it could work?" Jeremy asks, considering the idea silently.

"I think we're almost out of options here." she answers, frowning slightly when she notices a look on his face. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I've tried to summon Ric, to summon anyone. It hasn't been working. It hasn't worked since the veil went down. And before that it was weaker."

Caroline sighs and rubs her forehead. "Do you think your powers are gone?"

"Honestly, I don't know, Caroline. I have no idea if they're working anymore or not."

"You should still try." she says softly. "There's no harm in trying, right?"

"You should go home. See Bonnie and Elena. I'm going to stay here for a while."

She seems reluctant to leave him alone. "You sure?"

Jeremy nods slowly, folding his arms across his chest. "Let me know if Bonnie's okay."

"You should come see her yourself."

He shakes his head and takes a step back from her. "You said that she needs rest, and to not be..Put under any kind of stress. We broke up, Caroline. That's stress for her."

Caroline sighs and steps forward. "Go as her friend."

"She has plenty of friends. She has you and Elena. Tyler. She's fine."

"You don't have to avoid her, Jeremy." she says, pausing. "Does anyone else know you broke?"

"Just you."

"You should-"

"Now's not the time, Caroline. You know that." Jeremy says, cutting across her. "We've got too much going on right now. All of that can wait. Okay? Don't tell anyone. Don't tell Elena, or Matt, or Damon. Don't tell anyone. Please?"

"Okay, fine. I won't tell anyone, but I want you to talk to me. You don't have to go through this alone."

"It doesn't matter right now."

"Yes it does, Jeremy."

"Forget it, okay? Focus on what matters. We should all be doing that right now." Jeremy says, and turns away from her, walking to the stairs and moving up towards the room that he'd been sleeping in since he'd been staying here.

Once he reaches his room Jeremy turns on the water in the show, removes all over his clothes and stepped underneath the water. He allowed himself a moment to soak in the warmth of the shower, enjoying it as it ran over his body, easing his muscles and the tension he was feeling.

Sometime later he left the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair wet. He walked over to where he had been keeping the few clothes he'd received from Tyler and Matt, all of them either just a little too small for him. He picked up the bag, dropped it on his bed and stared at it for a moment, interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on his door. A slight frown forms on his face because Damon wouldn't knock, and he wouldn't be visiting him now. Jeremy doesn't know who else it could be, but he calls out anyway, telling them to wait a moment. He pulls on a tight black shirt, brown pants and then lets whoever it is know they can come inside. The door opens slowly and Sam steps inside, dressed in a worn brown jacket and baggy black pants.

"If you're busy, I can come back." Sam says.

Jeremy shakes his head slightly. "I'm not. What is it?"

"Just got back from searching. I thought I'd stop by."

"Where's Martin?"

"Taking a shower, I think. He wanted some time alone."

Jeremy glances away from Sam, before slowly looking back at him. "Same with Damon."

"If you want some time alone, I can leave.."

"I was..I was just going to try and contact Ric."

Sam nods slowly. "Do you want me to leave?"

"You don't have to. Did you know him?"

"When I was younger..."

Jeremy sighs quietly. "You might be able to help summon him I have to think of him. Powerful thoughts, memories. You know? So, having you here, thinking of him..It might help. He hasn't been coming to just me lately."

"I can stay." Sam says, shutting the door and walking inside. "I can help by trying to think about him, if that's what you need me to do. I'm happy to help, Jeremy."

"Thanks." Jeremy moves to the edge of the bed and sits down. "I'll just need a few minutes of no talking, to try and contact him."

Sam gives a nod of his head and sits down on the bed, near Jeremy. He looks away from Jeremy and gives him at least ten minutes of silence before speaking.

"How's it going?"

"Not great." Jeremy sighs, opening his eyes. "The connection..It's strange, but it feels weaker. I feel weaker."

"You've had a long day. The past few days have been big. It's no surprise you're feeling tired. You should get some rest." Sam suggests, watching him carefully before glancing away.

Jeremy looks at him then lifts his hand to his forehead, shutting his eyes as he runs his fingers through his hair. "Rest feels like a waste when she's out there, on her own."

"She'll be fine."

He opens his eyes and looks to Sam. "You don't know that."

"No, but I choose to believe it."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to believe otherwise." Sam answers. "Because she's survived so much, and I know she can survive this."

Jeremy seems more than doubtful, and he is. There are so many reasons why he is doubtful, why he can't have hope right now. "She has her humanity off."

"I know."

"Do you know what that means?"

"Yes. She's not feeling anything."

"That's right. She's not feeling anything; no guilt, no fear, no sadness. All of the bad things that she was feeling are gone. But you know what's also gone?" Jeremy falters, voice sounding sadder. "The good things. Happiness. Love. Kindness. It's gone. Humanity off does that. It takes away everything. She won't have any remorse, and she won't care about herself or anyone else."

"She can survive this."

"The thing is, I don't know if she can."

"If she can survive losing Jerald and her child, she can survive this."

Jeremy falters, a small frown forming on his features. He opens his mouth to say something but at first no words come out, so he takes a moment, tries to come up with a response.

"Her child?"

"Yes, she had-" Sam stops, realisation flooding his features. "Oh, you didn't know. You don't know."

Jeremy watches him closely. "What are you talking about?"

"Jeremy." he sighs, sounding tired too.

"What – I didn't know-"

"Exactly. You didn't know, meaning she wasn't supposed to tell you." Sam cuts across him. "I'm not supposed to know either. Fuck. Please, don't tell anyone. Don't tell her. You can't say anything."

"Okay, I won't."

Sam falters, and continues to watch him. "Really?"

"I get it. Wanting to keep some things to yourself. And Johanna... She's so important to me, but she's so closed off. She doesn't talk to me about a lot of things."

"She's had a hard life. But I can tell you care about her, that all of you care about her. So, I think that will be enough to get her back. And I know, Damon said that she won't come back for any of you but I think she will. I think you could be enough."

"I want to believe that." Jeremy sighs, standing from the bed. "I do, but I just don't know if I can. I've lost my faith so many times. I've lost so many people. I can't lose her too."

"You won't."

"You don't know that."

Sam stands from the bed, taking a step towards Jeremy. "And you don't know either. That's just it, Jeremy. You keep telling me that I don't know if we'll get her back, and you're right. I don't know that. But you don't know that we won't get her back. So, I guess we both don't know anything right now. We will with time."

"I hope so."

"Just don't give up, Jeremy."

"What if I already have?"

"Then take some time. Think about things. Think about what really matters. Try to find something positive, something that will give you strength. And see where you are in the morning. See if you want to give up or if you want to fight for yourself, fight for everyone, in the morning."

Jeremy sighs again, looking beyond tired. "You think I'll suddenly have the answers in the morning?"

"No, but I think you might see things clearer. Or you might see something new."

"Alright." Jeremy nods slowly, watching him. He almost smiles. "Thanks for the advice."

"Anytime. Now get some rest. I'm going to get some too." Sam says, walking towards the door. "If we're getting up early to look for Johanna, we'll need a good sleep."

Jeremy nods again and watches after Sam as he slowly disappears from the room. He stares after him until the door closes and looks back, finding Lexi seated in an armchair.

"He's cute." she smiles. "Who's he?"

"Lexi?!" Jeremy frowns, jumping slightly. "I didn't - What are you doing here? I didn't try to summon you."

"Actually, you did. And Damon kinda did. You were both thinking about me, a lot. Actually, Damon wasn't really thinking about me, but he was thinking about how Stefan left, and I was there before. He's wallowing in self-hatred right now, and I guess him killing me is part of that."

"Have you seen Ric?" he asks, frowning still. "I was trying to summon him too."

"It's nice to see you too, kiddo." she says, standing from the chair and walking over to him.

"Lexi, this is serious. Johanna-"

"I know." Lexi answers, voice quieter, sadder. "I know what happened, Jeremy. I was there when Alaric and Damon found out that she turned her humanity off. I know what happened. Have you found her yet?"

"No, we haven't found her. I wanted to summon Ric because everyone is losing hope, and I thought...I thought that if we found her, he might be able to tell us something that could help her turn it back on. Something that would make her feel human."

Lexi sighs, and speaks with a softer voice. "It's not going to be easy, Jeremy."

"I know."

"No, you don't know. I mean it. You've never been around someone with their humanity off, have you?"

Jeremy shakes his head slowly. "No, I haven't."

"I'm not saying that you don't understand because you can't. I'm telling you that you don't understand because you've never seen someone with their humanity off. I've seen it many times, two of those times were with Damon and Stefan."

"You were there? What was it like?"

Lexi hesitates, and speaks after a moment. "I don't know how much time we have, so I'll tell you everything I think that can help you with Johanna. Later we can talk about Damon and Stefan, okay?"

"Okay." he nods quickly.

"Having your humanity off changes you, but it doesn't change who you are underneath. It's like...Giving up your conscience. You don't feel guilt, or remorse. You don't feel anything as strongly as you did. You don't feel at all at times. So, Johanna will still be Johanna beneath it all. Her personality will still be there. But it's going to be hidden, lost. And her feelings will be gone. I don't know what she will be like with her humanity off. Everyone is different. You just have to find the thing that will help her turn it on, and you have to help her. You can't give up on her Jeremy. Fight for her because she would want you to, even if she doesn't realise it right now."

"I won't give up." Jeremy promises, but his words don't hold much hope.

"You can't give up, or you'll lose her forever."

* * *

**A/N: **So, I decided to update this really quickly because I'd finished the chapter and wanted to share it with you. This chapter has both Salvatore brothers in it, who are both struggling on their own. It also has my OC character, Charlotte. I hope you'll like her, and let me know what you think of her. If you have anything you want to say or any thoughts you want to leave, review. I love hearing your feedback and ideas/theories for this story. And like I said in the previous A/N, if there's anything you would like to see let me know!

Thank you; Taylorocks17, adela, twin of a sister and Paigetvdspn for your reviews.

**Guest reviews:**

**Taylorocks17 chapter 3: **Hi, Taylor! Thank you for reading and reviewing, I'm glad you liked this chapter. You wanted to see more of what Stefan is getting up to, and you got a glimpse of that in this chapter. I hope you liked it. Cedric will definitely be involved when they find Johanna, I'll just say that for now. Enjoy the new update.

**adela chapter 3: **Hey, Adela! Thanks for your review. Enjoy the new chapter!


	5. Cold Chains

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampires Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

The forest is quiet as the group ventures out into it, broken and separated. They move silently, towards the grave where April's body has been placed in, and an engraved tombstone set. There are flowers around her grave, tributes and small, personal items from those who knew her the most. Elena, Caroline and Bonnie are leading the way, all holding each other's hands. Behind them Tyler and Jeremy walk, Meredith by their sides. Matt stays at the back, with Martin and Samuel behind him. They came to pay tribute to April, despite not knowing her, and never meeting her. They came to show their respects anyway.

Matt's eyes skim around the area, noticing two absences; Damon and Rebekah are both not here, and despite his initial feelings of anger about them not being here, he understands. Rebekah and April were quite close, April was the first real friend that Rebekah had at the school and they trusted each other, so he can understand that she wouldn't want to be here today. Matt also understands the reasons why Damon isn't here; he did this, he killed April, and while Matt has accepted that it isn't Damon's fault.

He was injected with a virus against his will, and didn't fully understand what would happen to him as a result of it. He was trying to protect the people that he cared about, and Matt knows that, he understands it but it doesn't make this loss any easier. Knowing that April's death could have been avoided if things had been different makes it harder, and knowing she died as a result of what happened to Damon makes it even harder

A small, shaky sigh escapes Matt's mouth as he comes to stop beside the group, who have surrounded April's grave. Caroline steps forward and places flowers down on the grave before rejoining Elena and Bonnie. They stand together in a moment of silence before Elena and Jeremy step up to speak, both sharing stories about April, and how much they loved her. The rest of the funeral goes in a blur for Matt; he speaks a little, but he's not really there, he can't think clearly or focus and when it's over he finds himself walking along the road, not entirely sure where he's going to. He walks for a while, for what feels like hours, and somehow winds up outside of Rebekah's house.

He wasn't thinking of her, but his feet led him here. He moves past the gates and walks to the front door, his jacket hanging over his shoulder, his white shirt sweaty from all the walking. Matt doesn't have to knock on the door to let Rebekah know that he's here, she hears him and opens the door just as he arrives outside of it. She doesn't look surprised to see him, and opens the door to allow him enter without saying anything. Once Matt is inside Rebekah shuts the door and turns to face him, finding him standing behind her, watching her.

"Is it okay if I'm here? I didn't know where else to go. I didn't even know I wanted to come here, I just ended up here."

"It's okay." Rebekah assures him quietly, and then falls silent.

"Is it okay if I take you up on that drink now? I could really use one after...I could just really use one."

"Do you want beer or scotch?" she asks quietly.

Matt hesitates. "Which one will get me drunk faster?"

"Scotch."

"Scotch it is then."

"This way." Rebekah says quietly, leading the way into the living room. She picks up two glasses from the table where the decanter of scotch is resting, fills the glasses and passes one to Matt.

He takes the glass and moves to sit down on one of her couches, watching as Rebekah joins him, sitting close to him. She watches him closely for a moment before speaking.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"Don't say sorry." Matt answers, stopping to drink some scotch. He hasn't had it much before, and pulls a face as it runs down his throat. He sighs and looks up at Rebekah. "Don't say sorry. Okay? You don't have to say sorry to me."

Rebekah frowns and glances up at him briefly, a deeper look hidden on her face. "Really?"

"I know you were close with April. You cared about her. So, I know..I know it must have been too hard for you to be there today, and that's fine. If I'm being honest, I didn't want to be there either. It was hard, saying goodbye to her. But I had to do it, and I... I said goodbye to her from you."

"You did?" Rebekah asks after a moment, sadness sweeping over her face. "Really?"

"Really. I thought it would've been too hard for you to do."

"Thank you, Matt." she reaches out for his hand slowly, almost uncertainly.

Matt takes her hand and holds it tightly, squeezing it. "You don't have to thank me."

"Yes, I do. You don't know what that means to me. You really don't." Rebekah admits quietly, after a moment of watching him. "I will go see her grave. I will say goodbye. I just don't think that I can do that right now. Not with everything else that is happening. I can't do it alone either."

"When you go I'll be there. I'll go with you, so you don't have to be alone."

"Why?"

"Why?" he repeats, frowning. "Are you really asking me that?"

"I want to know why."

"Okay." Matt says, the frown gone from his features. "The reason why is because no one should have to deal with that alone."

For a moment there is silence between the two of them, and it is almost as though Rebekah doesn't understand why he's telling her this, or why he would think this of her, like she believes that she's not good enough for him to think that. Finally Rebekah speaks, but her voice is much lower, much softer.

"Not even me?"

"Not even you."

Rebekah continues to watch Matt silently for a moment before she glances away, laughing sadly as she looks down and avoids his gaze.

"What?" he asks, and receives no response. "What?"

"I certainly never thought I'd hear those words coming from you."

Matt smiles a little. "If it helps, I never thought I'd be saying them."

She smiles sadly and looks up at him. "It doesn't help."

"Sorry."

"Stop." she shoots him a serious look. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"Yes, I do. I do, Rebekah."

Rebekah releases a sigh, knowing just what Matt is talking about. "So do I. When it comes to Johanna, there is...I can't begin to fix things with her. She'll never forgive me for what I did to her brother, and honestly, I can't blame her. I didn't care at first. That I'd taken someone away from you all, and I should have cared. I forgot that he was a brother, or a friend, and I did what I thought needed to be done. I thought my own brother was gone. I didn't know then that he had siblings, that they would feel his loss and grieve for him."

"Rebekah. What's done-"

"Please don't, Matt. I know that you're here, and that you said you would be there when I go to see April's grave, but I don't want anymore from you than that. I don't expect anymore. I took away someone that you cared about, and I don't want forgiveness."

"I want to give it to you." Matt insists, a very serious look now upon his features. He watches her closely, noticing the small insecurities about her.

She shakes her head, certain. "I won't accept it."

"Rebekah." he sighs, sounding tired.

"This isn't about me, you know that. This is about Johanna." she answers, a slight tint of coldness returning to her voice. "Is it not? This is about how we find her, how we save her. We owe her that much, don't we?"

Matt clenches and unclenches his jaw, hesitating. "What if she doesn't want to be saved?"

"That's too bad, because there are far more of us that want to help her. She'll give in eventually and let us. She has to."

"Do you really believe that?"

"I have to believe it, and I know you need hope right now. I know you all could use a little hope right now." Rebekah answers, the coldness slowly slipping from her voice with each word. "So, use the hope that I'm trying to give you. It's not much. It won't be here forever. But right here, right now, it's the best I can do."

Matt puts down his scotch on the glass table and leans in towards Rebekah, kissing her lips lightly, his hand moving to her cheek. She is surprised by the suddenness of the kiss but doesn't move away, instead kisses him back, leaning in close away. A moment later Matt pulls back from her, breaking their closeness. He's breathes heavy and watches her for a moment.

"That was.." Rebekah stops, unsure. She sets her glass down on the table and looks up at him, finding him watching her still. "Ah..."

"What?" Matt asks, watching her closely, more closely than he had been before. "Good?"

"Yes." she nods. "Very good. Very good. You?"

"Yeah, it was.." he pauses, exhaling. "It was good for me too."

Rebekah stays silent for a moment, pulling a face. "But..?"

"Nothing. There was nothing wrong with it."

She seems more than disbelieving, and watches him, eyebrows raised. "Are you sure? Because you seem like-"

Rebekah falls silent when Matt leans in and captures her lips in another kiss, his hand moving back to her cheek as she leans in closer. Matt places his other hand on her waist slowly, uncertainly. They share the closeness for a moment before Rebekah breaks away from him.

"This is – This is very nice, Matt. But I don't think you're thinking clearly."

Matt frowns again, the creases on his forehead returning. He sits up a little straighter and coughs, clearing his throat. "What?"

"There's a lot going on right now for all of us, and I'm not sure that you're thinking clearly. I'd like to think you were, but even if you were.. Honestly, I'm not thinking clearly. And this isn't how I wanted things to be between us."

Now Matt is the one to take a moment of silence, as he thinks over Rebekah's words, a few of them catching his attention. He looks up at her while he's thinking, finding her watching him, and he wonders if she's thinking about him too.

"What do you mean, it's not how you wanted things to be between us?" Matt finally asks. "You thought about us?"

Rebekah pulls a face, seeming serious. "No, that's not what I meant. Not at all. I never thought about us. That's not what I meant."

Matt can't stop the smile from spreading on his lips. "Yes, it is. It's what you said."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did." Matt says, the smile widening. "You were. You meant it, didn't you? You thought about us?"

Rebekah rolls her eyes. "No, I didn't. And I'll never admit it."

"Fine. I believe you. It's just.."

She leans in closer. "What?"

"Nothing. It's nice not being alone right now. It's different with the others. You know?"

"I think I know." Rebekah nods, reaching out to touch his arm again, lightly.

Matt glances away then back at her, voice softer. "Thank you, for letting me stay here."

"You really don't have to thank me. I told you we'd get through this together, and we will."

"You meant that?"

"Yes, I meant it then and I mean it now." Rebekah says, sighing quietly before she continues speaking. "Finding Johanna will be the easy part. Getting her back, helping her.. That will be the hard part. It is going to be truly difficult, and it will test us. I know you'll want to give up, I will too. But we owe her so much more than that. Don't we?"

"You're right, we do. I just don't know if we'll be enough to help her. I don't know if we can get her back."

"We might try and never get her back, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try."

Matt sighs quietly. "When did you get so wise? And when did you suddenly get all the answers?"

"I've got some news for you, Matt Donovan: I've always been this wise, and I always have all the answers. All of you lack the intelligence to see that."

He smiles and bumps her shoulder with his. "Stop it. You were being nice, don't ruin it."

Rebekah moves closer to him, then bumps his shoulder back. "I'm not ruining anything. I'm being honest."

Matt scoffs, then almost laughs. He smiles more when he sees Rebekah smile. "Yeah, right."

"I can be honest!" she exclaims loudly.

"Okay." he says flatly, pretending like he doesn't believe her.

"You can leave right now-"

"See, you're not being honest with that!" Matt smirks, shaking his head. "You don't want me to leave right now. Do you?"

"Not right now. A part of me does-"

"But a part of you doesn't." he points out, smile still intact.

Rebekah stares "You're quite annoying. Why didn't I realise that?"

"Too busy noticing how annoying you are, maybe?"

"I'm going to get you something to eat." Rebekah sighs, standing from the couch. "You've had scotch on an empty stomach, and it isn't making you good company. It's making you less tolerable than usual, which is pretty hard to do."

Matt smiles a little and leans back against the couch, releasing a sigh as he watches Rebekah leave the room. She glances back at him over her shoulder before she disappears into the kitchen, leaving him to silence. He settles back against the couch which is very comfy and shuts his eyes for a moment, allowing a small feeling of peace to settle within him. For the first time since Johanna has been gone, Matt feels like they have a chance, like they might be able to find her and help bring her back, and it's all thanks to Rebekah.

* * *

When the sound of footsteps becomes clear behind him, Damon lifts his head up and looks over his shoulder, finding Martin walking down the stairs. He looks away from Martin and back to the fireplace, settling his eyes on the flame. He remains reclined on the couch, legs crossed, a half filled bottle of bourbon in his hands.

"Mind if I join you?" Martin asks when he reaches the couch.

Damon doesn't look up from where he sits, he doesn't want to, instead he continues to drink. "Sure, but don't think you're getting anything to drink. You're sober. You're staying that way. I'm not having that on my conscience too."

Martin walks closer to the couch, eventually sitting on the couch near Damon. "I didn't come down here for a drink."

"Ooh. Don't tell me you came down here to enjoy my company."

"No." he responds, leaning back against the couch. Martin's eyes move briefly to the fireplace and then back to Damon, who is still drinking heavily from the bottle. "I didn't come down here for your company."

"At least you're honest about that. Can't say it's consistent, but it's something."

"I came down because I noticed you weren't there today at the funeral." Martin admits, turning to watch Damon again.

Damon continues to stare out at the flames, slowly lowering the bottle from his lips and setting it down on his lap. He remains in the silence for a few moments, before finally breaking and speaking. His voice is significantly colder when he speaks. "I didn't know her."

"You killed her."

"Thank you for reminding me of that, Martin. I'm not sure what I would do without that guilt hanging over me."

Martin sighs, folding his arms over his chest. "That's not why I said something."

"Why don't I believe that?" Damon asks, looking up at him finally. "Your son is dead because of us. I'm going to kill Max, your other son, the next time I see him. Your daughter is long gone, because of me, because of what I've done to her. You have every reason to hate me."

"I don't like you."

"See? We're getting somewhere. Honesty is the key to everything, apparently. Not that I'm honest." Damon says, the false smile that had rested on his lips disappearing. "I'm the most dishonest person you'll probably ever meet. What was my point? Oh, right. You're being honest. You don't like me. I was expecting something a little more hateful, considering what I've done to your daughter. So, I guess that proves how much, or how little, she really means to you."

Martin glances away, sighing. He lifts his hands to his forehead, rubbing it before he rubs his side, groaning quietly as he does. This catches Damon's attention and he looks up at Martin, a deep frown across his forehead.

"Are you hurt or something?"

"I'm old." Martin sighs, leaning back against the couch.

Damon pulls a face and leans back on the couch, looking up at Martin. "Oh, come on. You're not old. I'm old."

There's almost a hint of a smile on Martin's lips, and he shakes his head. "You don't look it."

"Neither do you."

"What about honesty?" he scoffs. "That was complete crap."

Damon rolls his eyes, then drinks some bourbon. "It wasn't crap."

"It is. I look-"

"What are you, late forties?"

Martin laughs now, still shaking his head. "Oh, come on, Damon."

"Early fifties?"

"Stop it. You're just being nice."

Damon scoffs, now laughing a little. "No, I'm not. I'm not a nice guy."

"You were nice to Johanna." Martin points out, smile vanishing from his face, his voice becoming more serious.

"That's different. I'm not nice to anyone but her." Damon answers quietly, looking away from Martin and drinking even more bourbon.

"I don't believe that."

A long, shaky sigh escapes through Damon's lips before he turns back to face Martin. He leans in closer to him as he speaks. "I'll let you in on a little secret, Martin: I don't care. I don't care if you don't believe it, and I don't care what you think about me. I don't care what anyone thinks of me, and I don't care about anything anymore."

Martin holds his unwavering gaze, not backing down. "You care what Johanna thinks about you. Don't you?"

"I _cared_ what she thought of me. But she's not around anymore, so..."

"So, you stopped caring? Just because she's not here right now, you don't care anymore?"

"That's not what I meant-" Damon begins, falling silent.

"Then what did you mean, Damon? Did you stop caring because she's gone?"

He hesitates before answering, the truth spilling from his lips. "No."

"Then you have to try to be the person that she would want you to be."

Damon scoffs and lifts the bottle to his lips, drinking more bourbon. He sighs afterwards and lifts his eyes up to meet Martin's gaze again. "What's the point? She's not here, she won't see it. She's not around anymore, so really, who I am or what I do doesn't matter. It doesn't matter to her right now. And even if she was around, it wouldn't matter because she doesn't have her humanity."

"That's not the point, Damon. It doesn't matter where she is, what she's doing, or if she doesn't have her humanity. The point is, you know she would want you to be good."

"But I'm not good." Damon asks, then sighs dramatically. "I thought we had this conversation?"

"We did, and when we did I told you that there must be some good to you. Even if it's only a little good, there must be something that my daughter sees in you. Or she wouldn't be with you."

"I've got an answer for that: She's _too _good for me."

"That doesn't mean you're not good for her." Martin insists, still watching Damon closely. "I can't change what you think, I know that. I'm not trying to. I just don't want you to.."

"What?" Damon asks, voice surprisingly lower and calmer.

"When she comes back, she'll miss you. She'll want the person she knows. She won't want anyone else."

"That's not true."

"You said it yourself, Damon. She won't want to see me, and there's nothing I can do for her. There aren't many good memories I can give her because I wasn't there a lot. And when I was there..." Martin stops, glancing away, his voice filled with a faint sadness. "She won't want me to be here. But I'll stay until you find her, and then leave."

Damon frowns, sitting up straighter. "What, you're just going to bail again?"

"It's not bailing if you're unwanted."

"Uh, yeah it is. Trust me, I know. And who are you unwanted by? Me?"

"Johanna." he says, voice a little rougher. "I know you don't like me. You don't trust me, and that's fine. I don't much like you."

"No one likes me. I got used to it." Damon answers, hesitating before he continues. "What I said about her, not wanting you around-"

"_Was_ true."

"I was going to say if it makes you feel better, she probably won't want any of us around either."

Martin almost smiles. "That doesn't make me feel better at all. It makes me feel worse."

"You're not alone, though. Shouldn't that help?"

"No, not really."

Damon leans back against the couch, sighing as he drinks some bourbon and rests the bottle back on his lap. He glances up at Martin, his light eyes skimming over him quickly before he speaks again. "You got that pup of yours trailing you around. Defending you at every point."

"Sam's a good man."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he is." Martin nods. "He's been through a lot. He's strong."

"Doesn't make him any less annoying." Damon comments quietly, swallowing two more mouthfuls of bourbon.

Martin looks at Damon again. "I was thinking the same thing about you."

"You're not exactly the greatest company either."

"Well, I'm the best you got right now seeing as this house is empty. You want me gone, say the word and I'll go. Otherwise quit complaining about it."

"You remind me.." Damon stops, and then drinks more bourbon. "You're stubborn like him. You get straight to the point, like Ric did. No bullshit."

"There's always bullshit. That's why I try to be as honest as I can be."

"Keep that in mind when you answer this question: Were you ever there for her?" Damon asks, sitting more upright. "When she was a child, were you there for her? Do you two have any good memories together? Does she have any good memories at all, with Ric?"

"Yes, there are. There are some good memories." Martin answers a second later.

"Remember those. Think on then. Try to think about the things that might help her feel something, so when we find her you can use them. You can try to get her to feel too, because I know you want it to be on me, but it's not. It's not just on me. I can't get her to turn it on, I know already. It won't work like that. Everyone with their humanity off is different."

"Do you really think you won't be able to help her at all, Damon?"

Damon looks away, and considers these words before answering. "I didn't say that. I said I don't think I'm going to be enough to help her, to bring her back, and I'm right. I am not going to be enough to bring her back."

"You don't know that." Martin counters. "Did you give her good memories? Were you happy?"

"Yes, but we were also broken. Not with each other, but on our own, dealing with things from my past and from hers. Things from our past. I did that to her. Yes, I gave her some happiness but it wasn't enough. It was never as much as she deserved, and not nearly enough as she gave me. I could see it in her eyes."

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't try."

"I know that. I do. That's why I'm trying, and it's why you're still here. I need your help. Right now I need all of the help I can get, and don't expect me to admit that again. I won't. You don't have to be here, but you are-"

"Yes, I do. You know that." Martin sighs, leaning against the couch. "Despite all the bad things we've been through, we have good memories. She's my daughter. She's always going to be my daughter. My baby girl. I remember..Oh, I remember when she was younger. When she was happy."

"She's been happy here too. She has."

"I believe that, just like I believe she can-"

The sound of someone knocking loudly at the door silences both of them, and seconds later Damon's standing at the door, opening it. He knows that he shouldn't get his hopes up again, that there's such a low chance of it being Johanna, that she's probably not going to come back to him yet. But he pulls the door open with thoughts of Johanna in his mind, a little disappointed when he doesn't find her there, but instead finds Meredith. There's a deep frown on her face and blood on her neck, and she looks worried. Damon frowns immediately, forgetting their last argument and feeling only concern for her

"What is it?" Damon asks, all feelings of disappointment vanishing, and only concern remaining in his voice. "What's wrong?"

"It's Enzo." she answers, voice strained.

The frown on Damon's forehead deepens, and he tilts his head slightly to the side, not believing that he's heard her right, not believing that Enzo would be back in town, not after what happened the last time they saw each other. There's a guilt that comes with the simple mention of Damon's name; a guilt that he doesn't want to feel but feels anyway, and a guilt that he hasn't truly been able to shed in a long time.

"Enzo?" he manages to ask.

"Yes, Damon. It's – He showed up at my apartment."

Damon's expression falls away and becomes flat. "Yeah, you see, the last time someone said that to you it wasn't Enzo. It was Max pretending to be Enzo."

Meredith nods, taking a step inside. "I know that, but this is him. I know it is."

"How?" he asks, wanting proof, wanting more than her word. "How do you know?"

"He mentioned Maggie."

Damon's eyes become vacant for a moment and he stammers. "Maggie? Are – Are you sure?"

"Yes, Damon. I'm sure, because he tried..He tried to kill me."

"I don't understand. How does Maggie fall into this? And why did he try to kill you?"

Meredith lifts her hands to her hair and brushes the hair back, eventually folding her arms around herself. "He thought I was Maggie. I was driving home from work, and I nearly hit him with my car. So, I got out and he just – He froze. And he was staring at me for a long time, until he came forward and he was stuttering. He was crying, he couldn't believe it was me. I told him my name was Meredith, but he kept calling me Maggie. Maggie Fell."

Damon's eyes widen slightly, disbelief filling them. "Maggie was a Fell?"

"Apparently." she nods, watching him. "He told me he was sick, so I broke his neck and brought him here."

"Wait. You brought him here?" Damon asks, nearly shouting. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you bring him here? The last time he was here, I nearly killed him. I can't promise I won't this time."

"You infected him, Damon. He's going to kill other vampires!" Meredith answers firmly. "You can't just infect him with it, then leave him to deal with it on his own. Do you not realise how risky that is? How easy it would be for him to wipe out..Entire towns? He's been through so many traumatic experiences. Cedric told me he blacks out, he has snaps. Having the infection on top of it...Do you not realise how deadly he could be?"

"I'm fine-"

"You're fine because you were compelled. Yes, Elena told me about that. She also told me that the compulsion will only last so long, eventually it will wear off and you'll have to feed. He isn't compelled. He will kill other vampires and in case you're forgetting, you and most of the people you care about are vampires."

"What do you want me to do about Enzo? Keep him chained up here?" Damon asks, and the sees the answer on her face. "Oh, come one! No way. He's dangerous."

Meredith takes another step inside the house. "You have cells."

"Why don't we put an end to this and stake him? I've got one lying around here somewhere. I'm sure Martin has a couple hidden on him right now. We could end it now; his suffering, his misery, his eternal existence of torture and pain. We could end it for him, Meredith. You're prolonging it by not letting nature take its course with him."

"No." she answers. "You're not killing him, Damon. What happened to him wasn't nature..It wasn't his choice. You, biting him, that was yours. This is how you deal with it. This is how adults deal with situations. They don't run from them because you can't run from it. They deal with it, like you're going to deal with this now."

"Why not? You don't know him. Why do you care?"

Meredith holds Damon's cold, unflinching gaze. "He's Cedric's friend."

"Friend? Okay, firstly, Enzo doesn't have friends. And neither does your asshole boyfriend who has skipped town, and is still M.I.A. I hate to break it to you, Meredith, but he's not coming back for you. He is long gone, and he's not coming back."

She shakes her head, her voice remaining firm and confident as she speaks. "We're not talking about Cedric. We're talking about Enzo. He's alone and he's sick."

"Not my problem. I don't owe him anything."

"I'm not saying you do. But you owe your friends something. Enzo is dangerous. Until we find a solution, he needs somewhere to stay."

"No. My house, my rules."

"Please. For Johanna." Meredith says, when he begins to walk away.

Damon's entire body is rigid when he turns around to face Meredith slowly. "What did you just say?"

"Johanna cares about Cedric, they're close. She'll care what happens to his friend."

He shakes his head, taking a dangerously close step towards her. "Don't use that card against me. You can't use Johanna as my weakness."

"I'm not trying to. I'm trying to get you to remember the part of you that cares. I know it's in there. You care what she thinks of you, I know you do. You try to be better for her. Do this, Damon. Be better. Prove me wrong, prove everyone who thinks you're incapable of being better or changing wrong."

Damon pulls a face, his eyes dark as he watches her. "I don't want to prove anyone wrong. I don't have to because I don't care what the hell anyone thinks of me."

"He needs you, Damon. Don't let him down again."

"Okay, because I don't hate you all of the time.." he takes a step back, then another. "I'm going to give you one minute to get out of my sight, or I'm going to break your neck. I don't care if you die. I will kill you and step over your body without flinching."

"No, you won't do that, Damon. You won't. You care and that's okay. It's okay to care."

"Damon, she's right." Martin steps forward.

Damon looks to Martin, frowning. "Do you even know her?"

"No, but I know Enzo. I don't like him, but if he's a threat to the people you care about, you've got to do something about it. You can't sit back and do nothing, because more innocent people will die. Ignoring a problem never makes it go away."

"Hey," Damon shrugs. "What's some more blood on my hands?"

"You don't mean that." Martin walks closer. "I know you don't. You don't mean it. You want to help, you just don't know how. And you don't want to admit that you need help because it's hard for you, because you're scared of admitting how you really feel."

Meredith nods in agreement. "See. He's – I'm sorry, I don't know your name."

"Martin." he says.

"I'm Meredith. Okay, see, Damon? Martin's right. You know he is, and I'm right too."

Damon looks between them, then starts walking away. "At this point, I don't care what either of you do. Use the cells. Don't use them. Kill Enzo, don't kill Enzo. I don't care. I really don't. Do whatever the hell you want to do, because I'm going to get hammered so I can forget the two of you were here."

Meredith watches as Damon walks away, then looks back to Martin slowly. She watches him for a moment before finally speaking. "Are you Johanna's father?"

He looks at her then nods. "Yes, I am."

"I'm Meredith. A friend of hers. I also knew Alaric." she says, extending her hand to him.

Martin takes her hand and shakes it, showing her a small smile. "It's nice to meet you, Meredith."

"I usually don't ask this of people I only just met, but could you help me move Enzo's body from the car to the cells?" she asks, taking a step back, towards the doors. "It's heavy, and some help would be nice."

"Of course I can help. Show me the way."

Meredith smiles a little and leads the way outside to her car, and when they reach it she opens the door and Martin helps her get Enzo out. They put an arm of his over their shoulders and begin dragging him inside the house. Meredith lifts her head up and looks over at Martin, before focusing on what's in front of them.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

Martin lifts his head up, briefly looking at her. "Me? Why?"

"Because of Johanna."

"I'm not okay but I'm trying to be, for her. I want to be okay so when we find her, I can try my hardest to help her. I'm not sure if she'll want my help, but I'm going to give it everything I've got."

"I know that will mean so much to her. Knowing that you're going to give it everything, that you're fighting for her.." Meredith pauses, sighing quietly. "I know it will help her. It has to."

They stop when they reach the cells, Martin holding on to Enzo's body while Meredith reaches forward and opens the cell door. She pushes the cell door open and steps inside, allowing Martin to follow with Enzo still hanging off of his shoulder. He drops Enzo's body to the ground, then looks up to Meredith, who is putting chains around his wrists.

"I don't want to do this. Especially not after what he went through at the Institution, but I don't have a choice. You know that Damon's sick, don't you?"

Martin nods slowly. "I was there when he was in the cell. Johanna was in the cell across from him. She's sick too."

"I know." Meredith says quietly, following him out of the cell.

She turns back and looks at Enzo for a moment, before shutting the door and locking it. When she turns back around she finds Martin leaning against the wall, his hands folded across his chest.

"I think we might have a chance of helping the three of them." Meredith admits quietly.

"How?"

"We locate someone who might know about the serum. See if they can make a cure."

Martin seems intrigued by this, and takes a step closer. "Do you think that would work?"

She shrugs her shoulders a little. "I don't know if it will work, but right now it's our only shot. I'm looking into it. I know we're all looking for Johanna, and I'm helping. But I'm also looking into tracking down someone who might be able to help."

"I appreciate that. I'm sure Damon appreciates it too, and Johanna..When she finds out I know she'll be thankful."

Meredith smiles a little but it doesn't last, and soon vanishes from her face. She looks away from Martin for a moment before looking back at him, "I know this must be so hard on you. If it's hard on her, I can't imagine how hard it must be on you. I want you to know that we're all doing everything we can because we care about her."

"This..Everyone caring about her, wanting to help her. It has to be enough, doesn't it?"

* * *

**A/N: **Another quick update because I wrote these last few chapters faster then I expected..And you guys are awesome, so I wanted to update for you..

In this chapter you have some very important bonding between Matt and Rebekah. Writing the scenes between those two felt very easy and it felt right to me, so expect to see some more of them. There's also some Damon and Martin bonding - well, it's not really bonding but they're talking..Almost calmly, so that's kind of a step in the right direction for them. And then we have Enzo, who attacked Meredith and thought she was Maggie. Yes, in this fic, Maggie was a Fell. Meaning that Meredith is one of her descendants, and looks pretty similar to how Maggie looked. More about Enzo (and Maggie) will be shown in later chapters.

I know this chapter was a bit slow, but I needed to get a few things established before the big things come your way. I'm so excited for you guys to know, and that's probably why I'll be updating faster..

Also, a few of you have asked about Johanna and have said you missed her. I miss her too! I love writing her, so don't worry, she'll be back soon-ish. It will be worth the wait. Thank you twin of a sister, Paigetvdspn, Adela, dogs101 and Taylorocks17 for your reviews. Thanks for the new follows and favourites.

**Guest reviews:**

**dogs101 - chapter 4: **Hey! No, it's okay. You don't have to apologize for not reviewing, I'm just happy you're still reading the story and (hopefully) enjoying it. Thank you for your review now, they're always appreciated. Now, about your review, where Cedric is will be revealed pretty soon. I won't keep you all waiting too long for that. Haha, I like your idea of Damon's doppelgänger being a survivor from a plane wreck on a deserted island! The reference to Lost made me laugh, haha! I hope you enjoy the new chapter. x

**Adela - chapter 4:** Hi, Adela! Thank you for reading and reviewing. :) I'm happy you're enjoying it, and hope you liked the new chapter.

**Taylorocks17 - **Hey, Taylor! Thanks for the review. I'm glad you liked the chapter. :) I'm glad that you find Charlotte interesting, they'll be more of her in the upcoming chapters! Yep! I can't remember right now, as I write this, what chapter it was revealed to Damon that she had a kid. She didn't tell him, he found the information and she knew that he found it. They haven't talked about it yet. Anyway, thanks for your review and enjoy.

x


	6. A Hard Call

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampires Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

The sound of his phone ringing from his pocket causes Stefan to stop walking down the busy street, and retrieve his phone. He pulls it out and looks down at the screen, not surprised to find Caroline calling him, because she's consistent and has been the only one that has repeatedly called him every day since he's been gone.

Stefan sighs and moves away from the business, finding a park bench underneath a large tree to sit beneath. He answers the phone as he sits down, his eyes moving briefly up to the large, soft leaves.

"Caroline." he sighs quietly.

"_Oh, my god. Finally! You answered. You better not hang up on me, or I'll find you and I'll – I'll kick you ass, Stefan Salvatore."_

He sighs again. "Caroline..."

"_No, don't. Don't 'Caroline' me, Stefan Salvatore. I get that you needed a break, okay? I get it. I understand it, even if everyone else doesn't. But having a break doesn't mean that you don't answer your phone. It doesn't mean that you can't reply to one single text message. Does it? Does it mean that?"_

Stefan releases another, louder sigh. "You don't understand."

"_I do, Stefan. I'm not dumb-"_

"I never said that."

"_Then explain to me why I won't understand?"_

"You know why, Caroline."

"_How do you know I know?"_

Stefan leans back against the tree, glancing up at the leaves of the trees again. "Because you said you understand why I need a break, even if everyone else knows. Which means everyone else knows.."

"_Yes, we know but we don't judge. We never judge you, Stefan. You're good-"_

"If the purpose of this call is a pep talk, I'm really not interested."

"_You've been gone for a few days, Stefan. I was calling for the purposes of a pep talk the first day, now I'm calling because I'm genuinely worried about you."_

"Worry about-"

"_Damon? Johanna? Everyone else in this town? I am, Stefan. I am worrying about them, and I'm worrying about you too. Why don't you tell me where you are-"_

"So you can come and find me?" Stefan answers, voice firmer, colder. "No, Caroline, I don't want you to find me."

"_Why?"_

"Because I'm not coming back. I took a break because I didn't want to be there, I couldn't be there."

"_Stefan, you know this isn't the right thing to do You don't know what's going on here. You need to come back here and help us. You need to come back, this is the right thing to do-"_

"For who? You, or Damon, or me? You're all-"

"_Don't." she cuts across him, voice firm. "Don't you ever say for a second that we're better off without you. You know that's not true. We need you, Stefan. We all care about you, and we've always needed you. Damon needs you too. More than you or any of us know. More than he knows."_

"How is he?"

"_I mean..He's Damon. How do you think he's doing?"_

"I didn't-"

"_Please, don't explain yourself to me. You don't have to explain yourself to me."_

"I feel like you want me to." he admits, shutting his eyes for a moment and lifting his free hand to the bridge of his nose, keeping it there for a moment.

"_Maybe you do, but not now and not on the phone. We'll talk in person eventually."_

"I'm not coming back, Caroline."

"_Ever?" she asks a moment later, voice hard to read._

"I won't say ever. I will say...For the foreseeable future, I'm not coming back."

"_Stefan, we need you. I know that you're struggling, and that it's hard for you, but we need you right now. We need you. The most important thing is that Damon needs you."_

"Did he tell you what he said to me?" Stefan asks, not waiting for a response. "He said we weren't brothers anymore, and I believe him. He wasn't lying. I'm not telling you were I am, and I'm not answering anymore calls, Caroline. Don't call me again."

After ending the call, Stefan places his phone into his pocket and stands up, running his hands over his face. He turns to walk away and somehow ends up walking towards the almost empty diner, hesitating when he reaches it, before walking inside and sitting down at a booth near the back.

When he glances up he finds Charlotte, sitting at one of the tables with a book opened in front of her. Her hair is hanging messily to one side, and she's wearing some sort of cast on her wrist. He frowns slightly, observing her from afar. She's dressed in a black cardigan with a white daisy pattern on it and when she stands a moment later he finds she's wearing dark blue shorts and brown boots. Stefan is silently surprised and confused when she gets up and walks over to his booth, sitting down in front of him.

"Uh, I'll just take a coffee." he says quietly, glancing away.

"Oh, I'm on my break." Charlotte answers, looking up from the book briefly, before looking down at it again. She brushes a hand through her hair and continues reading. "If you want something you should order it."

Stefan takes a quick look over the diner; most of the seats are empty, and those that aren't are filled with people consumed by their paper or books. He doesn't spot anyone working and frowns, looking back to Charlotte.

"I don't see anyone working."

She shrugs, not looking up. "Lenny's in the back somewhere."

"What happened to your arm?" Stefan asks, eyeing off the cast. He frowns more when he sees bruises slipping up from beneath the cast.

"I hurt it. You were at the hospital, remember?"

"That was your shoulder."

Charlotte frowns and finally looks up at him, her expression remaining flat. "I hurt it around the house."

Stefan meets her gaze, holding it. "Are you always so clumsy?"

"Are you always so inquisitive about other people's lives?"

Stefan almost smiles at her. "You're the one that sat with me."

"Because you looked lonely." she points out. "That's why I sat with you, because I felt bad. You looked like a little, lonely puppy. A lost puppy. With nice hair, and big, sad eyes."

He shakes his head, frown still intact. "You didn't even look up at me when I came in."

"Before. I mean _before_. The last time you came in, you looked lonely."

Curiosity getting the better of Stefan, he tilts his head to the side and eyes her off. "How do you know that?"

"I know what lonely looks like." she answers simply, looking down at her book.

"Do you?"

"Yes." Charlotte answers, feeling Stefan's eyes burning on her so she looks back up at him. "Yes, I do know. I think I know."

"What if I told you that you looked lonely? What would you say?" Stefan asks, voice colder.

"I'd say you're right, I am. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Stefan sighs and looks away, feeling guilty for asking her, for pushing her. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." she answers, voice a little lighter. "You're just pointing out the obvious. Any idiot could tell that. Well, not any idiot. It takes a certain kind of idiot."

"You know, considering we don't know each other..You've insulted me a lot."

"Sorry. Let's meet again." Charlotte says, extending her hand. She's wearing a beaded bracelet on her uninjured wrist. "I'm Charlotte."

He eyes her hand off slowly, warily from afar, before slowly taking it and shaking her hand, watching her the entire time. "Stefan."

Charlotte smiles a little, still holding his hand. "You sure about that? You look like a Steven."

"That's not funny." he answers, releasing her hand. "You're not funny."

"Oh." she tilts her head to the left, smiling. "I think I'm funny."

"You're part of a minority." Stefan points out, leaning back in his seat.

"Hey! People think I'm funny." she counters, leaning back and crossing one of her legs over the other. She closes her book, sets it down on the seat beside her and watches Stefan. "Lots of people think I'm funny."

Stefan raises his eyebrows disbelieving. "Yeah? What people?"

"You don't know them. You're new here, you've been keeping to yourself. People have been talking about you, but you haven't been talking to them."

"You've been talking to people about me?" he asks, almost frowning slightly, but still curious. Stefan continues to watch her closely, not sure why he's doing so, why he can't stop looking at her for a moment.

"I haven't been talking about you, and I don't talk to people about you. Or anything else. I come here, I work and I go home."

Stefan pulls a face. "Here I was thinking socializing was part of the job?"

She sets her elbows down on the table, leaning forward. "I'm polite enough."

"You called me a jerk."

"I could have called you worse, and I'm sure you've been called worse."

"Both points true." he nods at her.

Charlotte gives a small shrug of her shoulders, then smiles a little. "Of course they are. I have a habit of being right."

Stefan tilts his head to the side again, and folds his arms over his chest. "Do you?"

A wider smile breaks out on her lips. "No, I just lie a lot."

"Interesting."

"What, me? Not really. You're in the wrong place if you're looking for interesting, buddy. You want that coffee or not?" she asks, sliding towards the end of the seat.

"Uh, sure."

"Anything else?"

"No, thanks." Stefan answers quietly, watching her.

"Oh, he has manners. How charming." Charlotte says then sighs, leaning back in the seat and looking up at Stefan. "There's something you should know about me..Since you're so intent on coming here, you should know that I use humour and sarcasm when I'm feeling uncomfortable."

Stefan almost frowns but doesn't, and instead continues to watch her, curiously. "Do I make you feel uncomfortable?"

"No, not you. Look, you don't have to get it. I'm just telling you that. Okay?"

"No, I get it." he nods slowly, not really sure he gets it, but not wanting to talk about it any longer.

Charlotte watches him for a moment before she turns away, moving back behind the bench. She returns a few minutes later with two mugs of coffee, and places one down in front of Stefan and the other down on the table.

"So," she slides into the booth. "Is Stefan short for anything?"

"What would it be short for?" Stefan asks, almost amused as he picks up the mug.

"Stefania?" Charlotte suggests, before sipping on the mug.

Stefan chokes a little on the coffee as it runs down his throat, and he looks back up at her, a deeper frown on his face, matched with an expression of disbelief.

"_Stefania_?"

"Mmm." she studies him, closely, before speaking. "You look like a Stefania."

"What does- You think I look like a Stefania? Are you kidding?" Stefan asks, voice still partially serious and disbelieving.

"Yes, I am. Okay, I'll look at you and tell you what I think you look like." Charlotte sighs, watching him.

Stefan frowns and lifts the mug to his lips, swallowing some coffee.

"You look like a Ryan. Wait, no you don't. What about Raymone?"

"Raymone?" Stefan asks flatly

"Wait, no. Forget those both. You look like a Tristan." she says, then smiles, satisfied as she drinks some more coffee from the mug.

"Tristan?" Stefan asks.

Charlotte looks up again, setting the mug down on the table. "Mhm. I've always liked that name. Do me."

"Uh, okay?"

"Come on. Just do it." she sighs.

"You look like an Abbie. Or a Rose." Stefan says after a few minutes. "Or Daisy."

"Because of the cardigan?" she asks, unimpressed.

"What? Oh, right. That might have..Had some influence on that."

"Mmm." Charlotte drinks some coffee, then sighs. "How's the coffee?"

Stefan looks up, meeting her light gaze. He watches her for a moment, unintentionally remaining silent for longer then he'd meant to. When he realises how long he's been silent for, Stefan clears his throat and looks down at the coffee.

"Yeah, the coffee is good. It's good, Charlotte."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Okay." Stefan answers flatly. "If you want."

"What are you doing in town? Just passing by?" she asks.

Stefan glances away, then back at her. "Why do you care?"

"I don't. Trust me, I don't care." Charlotte says, leaning back against the seat again and releasing a sigh. "I don't even know you."

"I'm not sure what I'm doing, if I'm being honest. I needed a break."

"Oh." she sighs, an expression of understanding spreading across her face. "That's why you're not looking at your phone."

Stefan frowns, confused by this, and when Charlotte catches this look on his face she speaks, to hopefully clear things up.

"Both times you've been in here you haven't looked up at your phone once."

"You haven't either." he points out.

Charlotte gives a careless shrug of her shoulders. "I'm not expecting anyone to call me."

"Ever?"

"Ever." she repeats, nodding. "What about you? You expecting any calls? Because you seem like you're avoiding them."

"You know what?" Stefan leans in closer. "Maybe I am, and maybe that's just not your business."

"And suddenly, he's lost his charm." she says, not sounding surprised at all, and she isn't.

Stefan says, moving to stand. "Thanks for the coffee, Charlotte."

"Thanks for your company. " Charlotte replies, picking up the mugs. "It's been _great_."

"Look, I'm not trying to be rude to you. Okay? You don't seem half bad. But I didn't come here to make friends."

Charlotte stands from the seat, the two mugs in her hands. She shrugs her shoulders and begins walking away.

"Fine by me."

Stefan stares after her for a moment, before he turns away and leaves, the door above the diner ringing as he disappears outside.

* * *

The little light that slips through the cells is enough for Meredith as she sits on the ground outside of Enzo's cell, several books around her and one on her lap, and a phone in her hand. She ignores the faint sounds of someone groaning, and continues doing her research on her phone.

"Hello?" Meredith answers the call, standing up and letting the books and maps around her fall to the ground. She stretches out her legs, groaning. "Hi, yes. This is Dr. Fell. I'm calling to inquire about a Natasha Rosenberg."

In the silence around her there is another sound; the sound of chains being rattled, and Enzo's breathing becoming panicked, laboured. Meredith tries her best to ignore this as she continues on the conversation, which soon ends as she is informed that they don't know of a Natasha Rosenberg, and they can't help her. With a sigh Meredith ends the call, almost tempted to put her phone away until she tries to call Cedric again. It goes straight to voice-mail, and she decides, for the first time, to leave him a message.

"Hi, it's me. Meredith." she says, frowning at herself for stating the obvious. "Look, I know you're probably off somewhere..Having some alone time, and that's okay. I'm not calling about us, not that there is an us. I don't know. I'm calling about you because I'm worried, and no one has seen or heard from you in days. Please, call me back as soon as you can."

After ending the call Meredith shoves her phone into the back pocket of her jeans, and slowly walks over to Enzo's cell. She walks up to the door and peers in through the bars, finding Enzo kneeling in the dirt, staring down at the chains on his wrists.

"You're awake." Meredith says, watching him.

Enzo doesn't look up and he doesn't answer, he just continues to stare down at the chains while lightly humming a tune to himself. This causes Meredith to frown, and she falters before speaking again.

"Enzo? It's Meredith. You found me before, and you..Tried to attack me. I'm fine, but you told me you were sick and that's why you're here. Damon didn't catch you, or anything-"

"Damon?" Enzo stops singing, and lifts his head up slowly. "Did you say Damon?"

"Yes, Damon Salvatore." she says, watching him closely.

Enzo takes a moment to respond and when he does his voice sounds vacant, distant, like he's not here, like he's someplace else entirely. "I knew him."

"No, you know him." Meredith answers, voice calm, understanding. "You still do. This is his house. You're in his house, Enzo."

A long pause of silence follows, which Meredith doesn't break. Enzo remains kneeling on the ground. He stares down at it, the chains rattling ever so slightly as his hands shake.

"Damon?" he calls out, about five minutes later. "I know that name."

"Enzo?" Meredith responds.

When Enzo lifts his head slowly he spots Meredith, peering in between the bars of the cell, and suddenly his hands stop shaking, the chains stop rattling, and he looks at her. He really looks at her, and for a flickering second Meredith hopes that he's found reality, but he hasn't.

"Maggie?" he calls out, voice broken, lost.

Enzo sounds as helpless and alone as he looks, and this saddens Meredith because she doesn't think he deserves to feel this, to be this way, not after all that he has endured. She almost opens the door but stops, remaining on the outside, her hand on the lock.

"My name is Meredith." she says slowly.

It doesn't sink in. "You're..How..Maggie?"

"Enzo, you have to calm down. It's okay. You're safe here. I won't let anyone hurt you. My name isn't Maggie, it's Meredith."

Enzo glances away, eyes moving to the chains before he looks to her again, eyes wider and filled with a deep helplessness. "Why do you care now, Maggie? You left me. Abandoned me. You were all I had, and you were gone."

"I didn't leave you, Enzo. I'm right here."

"You're here?" he asks quietly, voice as broken as his voice looks.

Meredith hesitates, breathing out quietly. "Yes, I'm here."

"Where is Damon?"

"Damon's gone. And Cedric is-"

"I know him." Enzo says, eyes moving to the ground briefly. He looks back up at her slowly, eyes darker, emptier. "He was with me. In here. He freed me with her. She..My saviour."

"Enzo, I need you to look at me and tell me that you understand what I'm saying. You're sick. Okay? You've been infected with a Ripper virus. It's a serum, and Damon infected you."

"Yes, he did. Here."

"Yes, that's right." she nods slowly.

"Am I dying?"

"As far as I can tell, the serum enhances your desire to consume vampire blood. It gives you super strength and speed, but I don't think it's killing you."

Enzo looks away again, muttering to himself. "Damn."

"I'm working on it, on finding a cure. I think I can track down a lead, so that you, Damon and Johanna can have the cure."

"That's _her_ name."

"Who's name?"

"My saviour. Johanna." he whispers. "Is she dead?"

"No, she's alive but she's gone now."

"Gone." Enzo repeats, looking away vacantly. He moves so he's sitting on the ground against the brick wall. "They're all gone. They all go. All of them. Only I remain. It's only me. They're all gone. Gone."

"They're not all gone for good, Enzo. We will find Cedric, and we'll find Johanna again. I know we will. I have hope-"

"Hope is useless thing to hold."

"If you don't have hope, what do you hold on to?"

Enzo looks up again slowly. "The ground, to ensure that it isn't going to crumble away beneath me and drop me into another black hole."

"I heard a little about that, about your time in that place. I heard it from Cedric. He only told me he was struggling. That you both were." she says quietly. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want. I just wanted to say something."

"You are free to say whatever you please. I won't stop you."

"I know that you're feeling lost and alone right now. Actually, I don't. I don't know how you're feeling, I can't even begin to understand how you're feeling, Enzo. I am so sorry for what you went through. I can't imagine it. I just..I want you to know that this, you being sick, it is not okay with me. Damon infecting you is not okay with me, but I know Damon wasn't infected by his will, so I'm going to get him the cure too. Cedric cares about you. He told me once that you helped each other, so I'm going to help you for him, so when you see each other again you won't be sick."

Enzo waits awhile to answer, and when he does his voice is much lower. "You don't owe me. You don't have to do this."

"Yes, I do. I owe you something. I didn't know Cedric well before, when he was in the Institution. I didn't know him at all, until he showed up..Wounded outside of the apartment I was in. It was then that I saw there was good in him, and I know if he was friends with you, if he cared about you, there must be some good in you. And you..You kept him alive while you were both in that place. I owe you that."

Enzo holds her gaze. "He is the one who kept me alive."

"I think you kept yourself alive. You did." she says, and receives no response. "Enzo?"

"Maggie." he whispers, breathless. "you've been gone for so long, Maggie."

She sighs quietly. "Enzo.."

"Don't leave me again, Maggie. I know you can't help me, but just stay..Stay with me. Sit outside the cell for a while, until they come to get me."

Meredith's voice is soothing and calm when she speaks. "No one is coming to get you, Enzo."

"You'll stay with me, Maggie?"

"Yes, Enzo. I'll stay with you."

Enzo's voice breaks on the next words. "For how long?"

"Not long, Enzo. I can't stay for long."

Enzo nods slowly, voice almost desperately hopeful. "But you can stay for now?"

"Yes, I can."

"Why can't I see you, Maggie? Why can't I see you?"

"You asked me to stay with you." Meredith answers softly, feeling his pain.

"Please, I need to see you. Once more. Please, Maggie. Once more."

"Once more, then you have to let me go."

"I can't." he shakes his head, voice wavering.

Meredith opens the cell door and walks inside slowly, walking towards Enzo and eventually kneeling down in front of him. He stretches out his hand to her as far as the chains will allow him, and Meredith takes it, holding it gently

"You need to let me go."

"How? Tell me how."

"You know how, Enzo." she says softly, running her thumb over his hand. "Think about it and you know. You almost let me go so many times before. You were so close, you know what you have to do. You know."

"Turn my humanity off?"

"No, don't." Meredith shakes her head. "Don't do that, ever. I wouldn't want you to. I don't want you to. You have felt so many bad things, you deserve to feel the good things. Only the good things."

Enzo holds her hand tighter, eyes welling with tears. "Why did you have to leave, Maggie? I loved you. I would have loved you forever. Why did you leave me? Why did you have to leave?"

"I didn't get to decide that." she says, holding his hand tighter. "Sometimes you don't get to decide what happens to you, and fate just happens and takes away that decision. But you have a decision now. You have the decision to live like I want you to, like you've always deserved to. You need to live."

"I'm alone. I'm all alone."

"You know you're not alone." Meredith says, voice louder but softer. "You feel it sometimes, but you're not. You have Cedric, and Johanna. You aren't alone."

Enzo looks up again, a few tears slipping down his face. "Do I have you?"

"In your heart."

"Not with me?" he asks innocently, weakly.

"I'm still with you. In your heart and in your memories. That means I'll always be there, at the back of your memories."

Enzo sits up, wanting to be closer to her. "Maggie?"

"Yes."

He watches her for quite some time before speaking. "You're not my Maggie."

Meredith shakes her head slowly, smiling sadly. "No, I'm not. I'm not your Maggie."

"Have you seen my Maggie?"

"She's gone but she's always with you."

"Always?"

Meredith breathes out shakily, nodding. "Always."

Sometime later, Meredith leaves Enzo's cell and walks towards the stairs with her books in her hands. She looks up when she reaches the stairs, discovering Damon standing on the top stairs, a vacant look on his face but a dark, deep look in his eyes. He holds her gaze for a moment before speaking.

"Upstairs, now."

Meredith watches as he disappears before she walks upstairs, finding Damon standing near the stairs, an almost empty glass of bourbon in his hands. He looks up at her as she appears before him, and watches her with a vacant look on his face.

"Damon, I-"

"I don't care that he's here, or that you're sitting with him. I don't about Enzo, and I don't care about myself." Damon hisses at her, voice low, filled with hatred towards himself.

"I don't understand."

"I heard your little conversation, about tracking down the cure. What the hell are you doing? You should be focusing on Johanna."

"I am, Damon." she sighs. "She'll need the cure. You all need it."

"Focus on her. Forget him, forget me, and find her. Make yourself useful for once. I don't matter. Enzo doesn't matter. Johanna is the priority."

Meredith steps forward. "Johanna is a priority but she is not the priority. The three of you are sick. Cedric is missing. Those are important too. If you care about her, you should care about yourself. You're sick, Damon, and pretending that you're not isn't going to end well for you, or for Enzo. Denial only makes everything much worse. You'll have to face it eventually."

* * *

The first thing that Matt notices when he wakes up is that he's resting on a couch, and there is a very soft blanket covering him. He frowns a little and opens his eyes, lifting his head up to find that he's still at Rebekah's house. His legs are stretched out on the couch, there's a red blanket covering him, and a few pillows have been placed underneath his head. He stretches his neck to the side, sighing as he moves to sit up.

The sound of movement coming from the kitchen catches his attention and he stands from the couch, placing his phone in his pocket and folding the blanket up as best as he can. He eventually gives up on folding the blanket and begins walking towards the kitchen, following the noises. On his way he passes a mirror and discovers that it's daylight outside, meaning he spent the night here. He can't even remember falling asleep. Rebekah is in the kitchen, peering into the fridge when Matt enters. He comes up behind her and stops before the bench, watching her from afar. She's dressed in denim jeans, a lace white shirt and a black jacket. Her hair is out and curled, and she's got a few bracelets on.

"Good morning to you too."

"Yeah. Good morning to you." Matt says, watching as she turns around to face him. "I didn't even realise I fell asleep. I didn't mean to sleep here, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, it's fine. You fell asleep around midnight, and I didn't want to wake you. You looked like you could use the sleep anyway."

"Yeah, you're right. I guess I needed it. I haven't been sleeping well lately." he admits, rubbing at the back of his neck and then letting his hands fall by his side,

Rebekah frowns slightly, watching him closely. "Why not?"

Matt gives a small shrug of his shoulders. "Just haven't been."

"Are you hungry?"

"Why?" he smiles, almost looking amused. "Are you going to make me breakfast?"

"That sounds like the beginning of an insult?"

"I just – I wasn't sure you cooked. Or ate."

Rebekah rolls her eyes at him. "I can cook. I'm a great cook."

"Oh, really?" Matt fights back a laugh. "Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Johanna did once." she points out, eyebrows raised. "So, you can stop laughing. She devoured my pancakes. She told me she loved me, they were that good."

Matt smiles a little, leaning against the counter. "I remember when she stayed here for a while. She needed a break from everything."

Rebekah nods slightly, eyes skimming briefly over the kitchen before looking back to Matt. "She liked it here, I think. She's very grateful for places like this. I remember she couldn't believe the size of Tyler's house. His mansion..She talked about how she used to spend months in her car, or tiny apartments."

"She's lived a lot. She's lived through a lot."

"Yes, she has, for someone so young."

Matt sighs, smile fading from his lips. "Do you miss her?"

"Yes, I do."

"So do I. I miss her a lot." Matt says, shaking his head slightly. "You know what's funny? Right from the first conversation we had, there was something about her. Something I couldn't shake. It was weird, but it felt like..Family. Felt like finding family. Felt like finding home."

"You felt comfortable with her right away." Rebekah says quietly, voice softer.

Matt manages to answer a moment later. "Yeah, that's it."

Rebekah looks away, a strand of hair falling in her face. She brushes it away slowly. "I felt the same with her. Comfortable. I didn't want to be, but I was."

"She just had that way about her, I don't even think it was intentional." Matt replies, voice still low, still soft. "I didn't even want to like her at first, because I didn't know if we could trust her. But I just..It just felt like home. You know? Being with her, around her, it felt like something I didn't even know I was missing."

Rebekah's eyes shift back towards Matt, and she smiles sadly at him. "You sound like you miss her a lot. You also sound like you don't talk about it with anyone else."

"Who am I gonna talk to about it? Stefan's gone. Elena, Bonnie and Caroline are dealing with their own stuff these days. Tyler's busy too. And Jeremy..I can't talk with Jeremy because he's taking it all pretty roughly. Don't even get me started on how Damon's doing."

"I know that it's not always...It's not always easy to talk to me, but you can. I know we aren't close, but I want you to know that you're not alone."

Matt reaches out slowly, taking Rebekah's hand and holding it tightly. "You don't know how much that means to me, Rebekah. You really don't. I won't forget this, how you are now..I'll never forget it."

She falters, surprised by his words. "Matt..."

"I want to tell you something. Something I should have.." Matt stops, glancing away and releasing her hand. "I called you when you were staked, because I wanted to ask you out to talk. About..You. About me, how I'd been treating you. I wasn't sure that you could change, but you can. This shows me that you can change, that you are capable of it. Maybe you've always been capable of it, but I just didn't see it."

"How profound and touching." Elijah says, entering the room unannounced and unexpected. "Now, would you please excuse us? I need to have a conversation alone with my sister."

"Elijah." Rebekah straightens up. "What are you doing here? I thought-"

"We need to talk, sister." he answers.

Matt looks to Elijah, releasing Rebekah's hand. "Is this about Johanna? Rebekah told me you were trying to find her."

Elijah looks from Matt to Rebekah, an unimpressed look on his face. The look fades away from his face and he becomes unreadable, empty.

Rebekah moves closer to Elijah, watching him closely. "Is he right? Is this about Johanna? Did you find her?"

"Perhaps." he answers, unable to finish as he is cut off.

"Perhaps?" Matt frowns. "What the hell does perhaps mean? You either found her or you didn't, there is no perhaps."

Elijah then looks to Rebekah, the unimpressed look returning to his face. He watches as she sighs loudly, moving to place a hand on her hip.

"Please, just answer the question, Elijah. Have you found her?"

"As I was beginning to say, Niklaus believes he may have tracked her to a location." Elijah answers stiffly.

"Wait. Klaus is looking for her?" Matt almost shouts, anger ringing through his voice. "Are you kidding? Why does Klaus care? He used her-"

"And you never used her?" Elijah asks, watching them closely.

Matt shakes his head, disbelief flooding his face. "It's different."

"I fail to see how. She was a means to an end for both of you."

"We cared about her. That's the different." Matt replies angrily.

Elijah takes a step closer. "You kept the truth from her and lied to her on countless occasions. I don't recall that being the definition of caring."

"Like your brother did any better."

"Please, enough." Rebekah sighs. "This is about finding Johanna. So, you think you've tracked her? To where?"

"Niklaus did not say where, just that he sent his people to the location. He should have news within the hour. I will pass what I learn on to you, sister, and you can inform..The others."

Matt feels his phone vibrating in his pocket and pulls it out, discovering that Jeremy is calling him. He excuses himself and steps out of the room, leaving Rebekah and Elijah alone in the kitchen.

Rebekah looks to Elijah, walking closer. "Did you have to be so rude?"

Elijah doesn't falter. "Was he not taught any manners?"

"Elijah." she snaps. "Did you really have to speak to him like that?"

He studies Rebekah's expression for a moment before speaking. "What are your intentions with him, sister?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know very well what I mean." Elijah responds, voice low, calm.

"He is a friend," Rebekah responds. "Why is that your concern?"

"You are my sister-"

"That doesn't answer my question, Elijah."

"I think you'll find it does."

Rebekah walks closer, watching Elijah. "He is a friend."

"But he has not always been your friend, and he will not always be your friend."

"Just because you and Nik don't have friends doesn't mean that I cannot. Or that I don't know how to. I lost a..Good friend only a few days ago. I could use someone for support. I could use my brothers. And where were you? You were gone, Elijah. Both of you. Gone as you always were, only there when you need something from me."

"Rebekah?" Matt calls out, entering the room. He seems dazed, as he holds his phone in his hand.

"What?" she looks up, sighing. "Did little Gilbert come out of his mood?"

"No. That was..He got a call."

"How fascinating." Elijah says flatly, looking unimpressed again. "Shall you tell us more about his morning routines?"

Matt's voice is a little shakier when he speaks. "He got a call from Johanna."

"What – He.. Johanna called?" Rebekah stammers, surprised. She allows herself to smile a little. "She called."

Elijah studies Matt's expression before speaking. "I would not be so easily excited, sister. He brings no good news."

Rebekah frowns, looking to her brother. "What? How do you know that?"

"He's right, it's not good news." Matt says quietly. "Jeremy missed the call, he was sleeping."

"He missed it?!" Rebekah exclaims. "How the hell could he miss her call? She's probably not going to call again, and he missed it?"

"Does it matter?" Matt asks, sighing. "She left a voicemail.."

"Saying what?" Rebekah asks, taking a step closer. "What did she say, Matt?"

"She told him to tell us all to stop looking. Klaus too. She said she didn't want to be found, and that we should stop looking."

Elijah stares at the two of them for a moment before he glances away, expression colder, voice rougher when he speaks. "I must call Niklaus. Inform of this. He may be close to finding her."

Matt shakes his head sadly. "She doesn't want to be found."

"That doesn't mean we should give up." Rebekah says, voice a little shaky.

"Shouldn't we give her what she wants?" Matt asks, sounding defeated. "She doesn't want to be found and we're pushing her. It won't fix anything."

"Abandoning her after she was forced to turn her humanity off will not fix anything either." Elijah says, as he begins walking towards the door. "I am not responsible for this. I did nothing wrong to her, but I will not give up on her. Not yet. Those who are responsible for it should not give up either, it would be wrong to do that. You owe her much more than that."

* * *

A/N: Hi all! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. There was a little bit of Meredith & Enzo, not much of Damon, and a lot of Stefan and Charlotte. And yes, the end..Well, enjoy. Let me know what you think of it, if you're enjoying the story, and what you think of Charlotte. Any reviews are appreciated. Thanks for the new follows & favourites.

Thank you; twin of a sister, dogs101, Adela, Joy and Paigetvdspn for your kind reviews. Thanks for reading.

**Guest reviews:**

**Adela chapter 5:** Hi again, Adela! Thanks for reading. I'm glad you liked it and hoped you enjoyed the new chapter. And yes, my name is Elle and you can call me that if you like. :)

**dogs101 chapter 5:** Thank you! I'm happy to know that. I agree with you on that. I don't think she deserved to die, and I Don't think Damon did either. No, don't worry, they're not going to give up on Johanna! Damon won't give up looking for her until he finds her. In this fic, Bonnie is absent because she's recuperating from taking down the veil. It took a lot of strength for her to do that, so she's taking some time to rest at Caroline's house. She'll be around a bit more in the later chapters. Thanks again! And don't worry, I know that you meant Bonnie when you said Bonne. :) It's okay, I knew what you meant.


	7. Little Things

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampires Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

"Wait a second, dumbass. Go back. Go back to the start of this, and tell me how the hell you missed a phone call from Johanna." Damon snaps, his voice low, slurred from all the bourbon he's been drinking.

He takes a dangerous step towards Jeremy, causing Elena and Tyler to move closer to Jeremy's side. Martin and Sam share a look, both taking a few steps towards Damon, trying to do so in a subtle way so they don't provoke him. Tyler sighs and rubs his forehead, tired because he hasn't slept properly in days, and he's tired of fighting with Damon.

"Damon, it's not his fault. Don't talk to him like that, okay? I get that you're upset, but you don't have the right to take it out on him."

"Shut up, Tyler." Damon says, he doesn't even spare Tyler a look, staring only at Jeremy as he speaks.

"Damon." Elena sighs. "Just calm down, okay?"

"Don't. Don't even talk to me right now. This isn't between us. This is between me and the dumbass who missed the call from my humanity free, sick girlfriend."

"It's not just about finding _your_ girlfriend, Damon." Tyler snaps back, voice growing louder. "It's about finding someone's friend. Someone's daughter. That's what it's about. Okay? It's not all about you. I know you think it is, and I know you think you're the only one who's lost someone, but you're not."

Damon finally looks to Tyler, his face much darker. "I'm gonna kill you after I kill him."

Jeremy sighs loudly. "You're not killing anyone, Damon. You need to calm down."

"Give me your phone." Damon directs his gaze to Jeremy. "I want to hear the message. Hand over the phone."

"What?" Jeremy frowns slightly.

"Play the message or hand it over. It's not that hard to do, Jeremy."

After sharing briefly sharing a look with Elena, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. Jeremy unlocks it and presses a few buttons, eventually opening the voice-mail messaging and playing it for all to hear.

"_I don't want to see you, Jeremy. I don't want to see any of you. So tell Matt, and Klaus, and anyone else looking to stop. You won't find me, stop looking."_

The message ends there and Damon looks up from his phone slowly, meeting Elena's gaze before quickly looking to Damon, whose face is free of any emotions. He wears only a slight frown on his face and that's all. His face holds no sadness, no guilt, no anger. Nothing. Only emptiness.

"How did she know we were looking?" Tyler asks, frowning.

Jeremy shrugs a little. "I don't know, but I don't think we should stop."

"I agree. We can't stop." Elena nods, voice still hopeful. "We might be getting close."

"We find her, then what?" Damon asks, looking up slowly. He allows no emotions to slip through his face or voice, and remains entirely empty.

"What?" Elena responds quietly, calmly.

"What happens after we find her? What's your big plan?"

She hesitates, sharing a look with the others before returning to Damon's eyes. "I don't have a plan."

"_Exactly_."

"This doesn't mean anything, Damon."

"It means everything. Didn't you hear her, Elena? Weren't you listening?" Damon asks, voice rising. "She doesn't want to be found. I don't know how much clearer she could be."

"You can't give up on her, Damon. She doesn't want that."

"Actually she does, Elena. She wants all of us to. For once, shouldn't we do what she wants? Shouldn't we do something right by her?"

"No, because this isn't right, Damon. This isn't doing anything right by her. We need to stay-"

"You need to leave." he turns away from her briefly, then looks at her. "I mean it, Elena. You. All of you..It's your summer. What are you doing it here, wasting it looking for someone who you won't find?"

"She's our friend." Tyler says, voice louder. "That means we don't give up on her. She wouldn't give up on use."

"She wouldn't want you here. She doesn't want you here. How much clearer can she be?" Damon asks, then looks back to Elena, watching her before he finally speaks again. "You know it would be easier, Elena. If you took a break, if you got out of this town, you know it would be easier. Bonnie needs a break, you know that. You do too. After all of this, you all need a break. So go, have a break. Get out of this town."

"We're not leaving you, Damon."

"You have no reason to stay. None of you do. You owe me nothing. You might think you owe Johanna something, but she doesn't see it that way, she doesn't want whatever you think you owe her. She doesn't want you here, you know that. She doesn't want to see any of us, probably ever again. So go, get out of town. It would be better for all of us. I need a break from all of you too, so just go."

"Damon, you don't mean what you're saying."

"I think he does." Jeremy says slowly, looking up at them. "Maybe he's right. Maybe you shouldn't be here."

Elena looks to Jeremy, frowning slightly. "What do you mean, Jeremy?"

"You've been through a lot, Elena. We all have. Bonnie too. She needs a break from this town, from all of us, and so do you. What if you, Bonnie and Caroline went on a break? What if that's exactly what you needed?"

"Jeremy, I want to help." she insists, falling silent as he continues talking.

"How are you helping? You're not. None of us are helping. We can't help until Johanna wants it. You know you need a break, you all do."

"I don't need a break."

"Bonnie does, Elena. You know that. You do too."

Elena sighs and shakes her head. "We'll talk about this later."

"Why? So you can try to change my mind? Show me it isn't true when I know it is? It's true, Elena. You're tired. You've been tired for a while. Take Bonnie and get out of here."

"And what, abandon you, Stefan and Damon? Abandon Johanna?" Elena asks, voice breaking slightly.

"You're not abandoning anyone, Elena. You're helping Bonnie, she needs it right now. You know that." Jeremy answers.

"You need help too. Damon does."

Damon shakes his head. "Not like Bonnie does. And it's not like I'm alone."

"Damon, I don't want to leave you and Stefan-"

"You're not. You're not leaving anyone, Elena. You're taking care of your friend, because that's what you do. You're good." Damon answers.

"He's right." Jeremy nods, speaking quietly. "You're taking care of someone who needs your help, someone who will accept it. Bonnie needs a break badly, and you can give her that. You can protect her too."

"I'm not saying that I'll go. But I'll think about it."

"Good." Damon nods slowly, moving to pour himself another drink. "Think about how Bonnie needs you and she's here. Johanna's not here, and she doesn't need any of us."

"She still needs you, Damon." Elena says, walking closer. "You know she does.

"No, she doesn't."

"Damon." she sighs sadly, watching him closely.

"It's okay." he says quietly, finishing his drink in one mouthful then pouring another. "Nobody needs me. I've accepted that."

Elena shakes her head, folding her arms. "That's not true and you know it. I need you."

"Who are you trying to convince? Yourself? Me?" Damon responds. "You're not doing a very good job at it, Elena. And you don't need to keep doing it."

"She's right." Martin says. "Johanna still needs you. Your brother needs you."

"No, he doesn't. Not like I need him. He's never needed me like I need him."

"Damon." Elena pleads, but he won't hear it, he doesn't want to.

"I'll...I'll be upstairs. Alone. I think that's best right now, I don't want to do anything I'll regret. Think about it, Elena. All of you should think about it, and how you're not really needed here. Not right now. The Johanna we know is gone and she wants it that way. Maybe we should accept that and move on, save ourselves from more pain and disappointment."

* * *

The forest is silent and calm as Stefan walks through it slowly, his eyes skimming over the land quickly but taking in all the small details. He walks down a small path, covered by leaves and dirt. It leads him deeper into the forest and to a patch of grass where he sits down. He finds an odd sense of calm out here, one that he hasn't experience in days, one that he never thought he deserved to feel.

His silence is broken by the sound of footsteps, faraway in the distance. He ignores them, hoping they will pass by and they do. Someone comes jogging down the path behind him, moving quickly without noticing him. Stefan looks up at the path and notices that the runner is Charlotte; her hair is pulled up messily on her head, the cast is gone from her arm, and she's wearing pink tights and a black tank top. He watches as she begins to disappear, before noticing the man dressed in black sweats and a white shirt running after her.

"Charlie! Wait up!" he calls out, soon catching up to her. He grabs her by the arm and tugs her towards him. "Don't act like you didn't hear me, baby. That's not nice."

"What are you doing, Evan? Get off me."

"Why you going cold on me now, sweetheart? You were real nice last night." Evan says, grinning.

Charlotte rolls her eyes and tries to take a step back. "I'm paid to be nice to you."

"Oh, that ain't true, baby. And you know it."

Stefan watches from afar, listening to their conversation closely. He hears Charlotte release a small groan as Evan's grip on her wrist tightens, and he pulls her closer to him, grabbing her on the ass inappropriately.

"Stop it. I already told you that I wasn't interested."

"I don't buy that. Nah, I think you were just being shy. Weren't you? You're real shy. Not talking to anybody. Keeping to yourself. Playing hard to get." Evan says, twisting her wrist harshly.

In the struggle that follows Evan pushes Charlotte to the ground and attempts to get on top of her, but Stefan appears, throwing him back to the ground harshly and moving to stand protectively in front of Charlotte.

"Didn't you hear her?" Stefan asks quietly. "She said stop. Stop means stop."

"Hey. What the hell?" Evan exclaims, angrily pulling himself up from the ground. "Where did you come from?"

Stefan ignores this, and continues to watch Charlotte closely. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Charlotte answers quietly, allowing Stefan to help her up gently.

Evan reappears, angrier before, his gaze moving between the two of them. He takes a step towards Stefan, looking him up and down before scoffing.

"So, you're with him now? Who is this guy?" he nearly shouts.

Stefan tilts his head slightly to the side, watching him closely. "I'm the guy who's going to break your hand if you don't walk away. Right now."

"Yeah, right." Evan scoffs quietly. "Charlotte, come on."

Evan reaches out to touch her, only to be stopped by Stefan, who grabs his hand and snaps it, breaking the bones in his hands. A loud, piercing cry escapes through Evan's mouth and he staggers back, clutching his hand.

"What the fuck, man? You broke my hand!" he exclaims, moaning in pain.

"I told you I was that guy." Stefan answers, shrugging.

"Man, you are gonna get it." Evan curses, groaning again.

"I'll break the other hand if you don't get out of here. Now."

For a moment Evan stands still, watching the two of them, before he turns and starts to walk away, still moaning and complaining to himself about how much pain he's in. He turns back to look at Stefan once more, before following the path away from the forest.

Stefan looks away from Evan's disappearing figure, and to Charlotte, who is standing still by her side. She looks to him slowly, a deep look on her face before she rubs her wrist, where there is a bruise forming on the skin.

"Thank you." Charlotte says quietly. "You didn't have to do that."

"Yes, I did. He was bothering you."

"He does that..A lot." she shrugs. "It's fine."

"Have you told anyone?" Stefan asks, taking a step closer to her.

"There's nothing to tell."

"That's not true. He hurt you."

"It's nothing." she says, folding her arms over herself. "Really. It's nothing."

Stefan sighs, shaking his head. "It didn't look like nothing."

"It's not your business. How's that?"

"Fine." he nods, watching her still. "I accept that."

Charlotte glances away, her eyes moving over the land around them before eventually returning to meet his gaze. "What are you doing out here, anyway? I didn't see you here, when I was running."

"That's because I was sitting down near the grass."

She frowns slightly. "Why? Doing what?"

"Just sitting."

The front vanishes from her face and she nods approvingly. "It's nice out here. I sit down there sometimes."

"Doing what?" he asks.

"Just sitting. Sometimes reading, or stuff."

"Stuff?" Stefan asks, then almost allows a small smile to appear on his lips. "That sounds interesting."

Charlotte presses her lips together, looking away as she releases a deep sigh. "I thought you didn't want friends?"

"I don't. That doesn't mean we can't have a conversation."

"Is that what this is, Stefan?" she smiles, turning to face him. "Is this a conversation?"

Stefan shrugs, folding his arms over his chest. "I guess it is."

"You mind if I join you?" Charlotte suggests, and begins walking towards the river. "If we're continuing this conversation?"

"Sure." he follows after her. "I can't think of a reason why not, so I guess we should."

"I guess so. I know it must be such a hardship for you." Charlotte says, sitting down in the grass when she reaches the river. She stretches her legs out and leans back, looking up at Stefan. "My company's pretty unbearable."

"Pretty unbearable?" Stefan asks, sitting down near her.

"Yeah, that's what I said."

"That's a pretty big understatement."

Charlotte smiles a little then laughs, shaking her head as she looks out a the water. "You're not the best company in the world either, you know that? Do you hear me complaining?"

"Actually, yes, because you just complained. Right now."

"Do you always have to be right?" she asks, tilting her head to the side again.

"No, but I try to be."

Charlotte smiles more, watching Stefan closely. "Of course you do."

Stefan almost cracks a smile, and pretends to be offended. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing." she laughs, seeming happier. "Just let it go, Steven."

"Only if you let that go. Deal?"

"Fine. Deal."

Stefan looks away, then looks back at her slowly, his eyes moving to her wrist before flickering back up to her light eyes. "What happened to your arm, Charlotte?"

"What?" she frowns, the smile lingering on her lips for a moment, before disappearing slowly.

"You were wearing a cast, and now it's gone." Stefan points out, a small frown on his face as he watches her, studying her reaction tot his.

Charlotte tenses up slightly, but doesn't look away from him. "It was never broken."

"Why the cast?" he asks, voice surprisingly soft.

"It was sore. It was a precaution." she says, watching him closely. "So, I told you something about me. Tell me something about you, Stefan. Your turn."

Stefan leans back, sighing loudly. "Like what?"

"I don't know. " she shrugs her shoulders. "You tell me."

"I don't know what you want to know."

"You can be difficult sometimes." Charlotte points out, then looks away. "Tell me your last name."

"Why?" he asks, frowning a little as he watches her

Charlotte keeps her eyes focused on the forest around her. "I want to know what follows Stefan."

"Salvatore."

"Stefan Salvatore?" she looks back to him, smiling a little.

"Yeah." Stefan answers flatly, eyes still focused on her. "Is there something wrong with that? Why are you smiling?"

"No, there's nothing wrong with it. Stefan Salvatore. It sounds nice."

There's almost another smile on Stefan's lips as he pulls his knees up, and rests his arms on his knees. He watches as Charlotte turns more to face him.

"Is that a compliment?" he asks.

She smiles more, shaking her head slightly. "It might be. Don't get used to it."

"Don't worry, I won't."

"What's that mean?" Charlotte asks, intrigued.

"It means, I've only known you a few days and you've insulted me more than you've complimented me. I won't get used to the compliments."

Charlotte narrows her eyes in on him, leaning in closer. "Are you the kind of guy who needs constant compliments and reassurance, Stefan Salvatore?"

Stefan laughs a little, a small frown still resting on his forehead. "No, I'm not. Not at all."

"Of course not."

"Hey." Stefan says, finally breaking out into a smile. "What's that mean?"

"It means..Look at you."

He stares at her flatly, unimpressed. "I can't, because I am me. I can't look at me."

"Oh, come on." Charlotte scoffs, rolling her eyes. "Like you don't know."

Stefan smiles more, the frown disappearing from his face. "You can't just say that. Like I don't know what?"

"You look good." she sighs, looking up at him. "There. You heard it. You got what you wanted. You probably hear it all the time, so you don't need me saying it."

"Another compliment? Must be my lucky day."

"Mmm." Charlotte smiles again. "Must be."

"So, Charlotte, I told you something about me. It's your turn now. Tell me something about you."

"My last name is Blake." she answers after a moment, glancing down at the grass again.

"Charlotte Blake." Stefan says slowly, then smiles. "Not bad."

"Not as nice as Stefan Salvatore. It's fancy. Has a ring to it."

"Fancy?" he smirks, almost laughing ""I am..Not fancy."

"Like I am." she says, and lets her eyes skim over him. "You're not dressed fancy, but you are. I can tell. Where are you staying?"

"The motel. Why?"

"Nice." Charlotte nods, not answering his question. "It's not a bad place. I've stayed there a few times. They have shitty lighting, but it's good apart from that."

"It's all I need right now."

"So, are you going to remain a man of mystery? Or are you going to tell me what you're doing here? You're not just passing by. No one passes by without a reason."

Stefan sighs, playing with a flower sticking out of the ground near him. He tears off a petal and looks up at Charlotte. "I needed a break."

"From someone?" she asks quietly, her voice suddenly soft and filled with a genuine concern.

"Yeah." Stefan nods slowly, letting the petal fall down to the grass. "From someone.."

"An ex girlfriend? Or boyfriend?"

"No, it's not – Not her." he answers, shaking his head as he continues to avoid her gaze. "You don't want to know about it."

Charlotte looks away from him, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable. "I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to know, Stefan. Life is too short to have conversations you don't want to have, or do things you don't want to do. So when I ask something, I mean it."

"My brother. I needed a break..From what was going on, and I left my brother."

"What's his name?"

"Damon."

"Nice." she says, voice still quiet. "Doesn't sound as nice as Stefan Salvatore, but it's nice. Sounds kind of jerky, though. Damon. Mmm. Is he a jerk? What did he do to push you away?"

"He can be a jerk, but he didn't do anything wrong. He didn't do anything. He's changing, he's better. He's better than he was and I'm.." Stefan stops, shaking his head as he looks up, a sad look on his face. "I'm the one who..Screwed up. I'm the one who left."

"At least you know you screwed up. That's something."

"Is it?" he asks, sounding doubtful.

"I think it is." Charlotte answers, looking away from him and out at the water. "I have a brother too. His name is Jason."

"Jason Blake? Not bad. Sounds kind of jerky."

"He's not a jerk." she says, sighing quietly. "No, he's not a jerk at all."

"Really?" Stefan asks, feeling unconvinced for a reason he can't explain. "Where is he?"

"He left town a couple of months ago. He comes back every now and then to visit. I'm the older sibling." Charlotte looks back at him. "What about you?"

Stefan smiles a little. "I'm the younger one."

"Oh." she sighs. "I guess I have more in common with Damon then I do with you."

Stefan nods slowly. "Guess so."

"You're not half bad. What are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Why?"

"It's my night off." Charlotte shrugs. "You're not half bad."

Stefan frowns again, watching her closely. "It's your night off and you want to spend it with me?"

"Why not?" she responds. "You're not half bad company, and you're new here. I feel like it's my duty to show you around."

He can't fight the smile that spreads across his lips. "It's not your duty, Charlotte."

"Is that a no?" Charlotte asks, watching him.

"No, but-"

"How's six thirty sound?" she asks, then releases a loud sigh when she receives no answer. "Come on. It's not like after one night out we'll be friends. Don't be ridiculous, Stefan. We could never be friends."

Stefan smiles at her. "You're not going to give up, are you?"

"No, I will. I'll give up, and it will make you feel _so _bad that you'll end up joining me for dinner another night."

"Is that so?"

Charlotte nods, smile intact. "It is."

"You're pretty persistent."

"Well, you seem like you're going through a tough time. I can relate to that. Having a distraction might help."

"Hmmm." Stefan responds quietly, watching her.

"So, is that a yes?"

"No. But I want to know where we'd go, if I said yes."

Charlotte's smile widens a little. "The bar. It's pretty nice."

"Is it?" he asks, curious.

"I guess. It's not half bad."

"Not half bad? Well, that sounds like my kind of place. I'm in."

"Really?"

"Really. Tell me where to go, and I'm there."

"Meet me at the diner at six thirty tomorrow night." Charlotte announces, standing up from the grass and brushing the dirt off herself. "We can walk from there."

"You want me to walk you home now?"

Charlotte looks around at their surroundings, like she'd forgotten all about it, about what happened with Evan. She looks back at Stefan and shakes her head, folding her arms around herself in an almost protective way.

"You don't have to. I'm sure Evan's gone, and you probably have something better to do."

"I don't." Stefan insists, standing. "I don't mind, if you want? Your company seems to get better after a little while. The walk might make it more tolerable."

"I can't say the same about you." Charlotte says, but her voice is softer, and sounds shakier.

"So, do you want me to or not?"

"I can take care of myself." Charlotte answers, turning to walk away. She stops and looks back at him. "I'm fine on my own."

"I never said you couldn't take care of yourself, and I never said you weren't fine on your own." Stefan answers quietly. "I just want to go for a walk, and if we're heading in the same direction, that's fine with me."

"Yeah? Okay, it's fine with me too." Charlotte says quietly, as the two begin walking. She lifts her head up after a moment, and almost smiles. "Thanks for walking with me though."

He nods at her, smiling back. "It's what people who aren't friends and have nothing in common do."

"I guess it is. Guess that's our thing, huh?" she suggests, bumping his shoulder.

Stefan smiles more, frowning slightly. "We have a thing?"

"Yeah, I mean, this whole back and forth.." Charlotte begins, moving her hands between them. "You know, our banter. It's totally our thing. That's how all big things start. With little things."

"Interesting. I never thought about it like that."

"Hmm." Charlotte smiles, bumping his shoulder again.

Stefan looks down at her, confused. "What?"

"No denial." she points out, smile still there, growing even wider. "You didn't deny that this could be the start of a big thing."

"I didn't deny it because I don't know that it won't be, or that it will be. That's just it. We don't really know anything, and we can't really control anything."

"I think you're wrong about that." Charlotte answers, looking back out at the road. "I think there are some things that we can control."

"Like what?" Stefan asks, sounding curious.

"I don't know. Just certain things."

"You can't control most of it." he sighs quietly.

"I know that, I do." Charlotte nods, walking forward. She casts Stefan another glance before looking out at the road. "But sometimes even if you think hope isn't enough, you still have to be hopeful."

"I'd like to believe that, but right now I don't."

"What do you believe right now?" she asks.

Stefan releases a painful sigh. "Nothing, really."

"You don't believe in yourself?"

"No, I don't. I don't know who I am, I don't know.. I'm pretty lost right now, if you couldn't tell. I don't think I've ever been this lost before."

Charlotte folds her arms over her chest, sighing. "Don't worry, being lost will be worth it in the end. You'll see."

"Oh, yeah? Why's that?" he asks, voice much softer.

"Because you can only really find yourself once you've been lost."

* * *

When Matt steps outside into Rebekah's garden he discovers her sitting on the the stairs, her knees pulled up and her eyes focused on what lies in front of her. She must hear him behind her, because she looks down at the ground and then back to him.

"You found the shower fine?" she asks, voice quieter.

Matt nods, running his hand through his damp hair before walking down to join her. He sighs when he sits down next to her, looking up at her slowly.

"Yeah, I did. Thanks." he answers, looking out at the garden for a moment. "Any news on Johanna?"

"No, nothing yet." Rebekah answers, sounding unusually quiet.

"Do you think Klaus really wants to help her?" he asks, stretching his legs out.

"No, I don't. I don't believe that he does. I believe he has Elijah fooled, and I don't know what he's playing at."

Matt looks up at her slowly, his eyes skimming over her. "Why would he lie about that? About wanting to help Johanna?"

"She's pretty powerful right now. She's a newly turned vampire with the ability to compel other vampires. And with whatever Ripper virus she has..It's not a good kind of powerful." Rebekah answers, watching him for a moment before looking away. "She's not safe. Not with that kind of power. And with her humanity off..It's not a good combination."

"You think he would want to use her?" he asks quietly, his voice much lower. "For what?"

Rebekah sighs quietly. "His army, perhaps."

"His army?" Matt responds, his head immediately snapping in her direction. "Why the hell would Klaus need an army?"

She meets his gaze again, slowly. "If I tell you it stays between us. Promise?"

Matt nods, not speaking, only wanting to hear from her what Klaus would need an army for. He watches her very closely now, his light eyes locked with hers.

"Klaus is having problems in New Orleans."

"So?"

"So, there are still.." Rebekah pauses, considering it. "There is a group led by a powerful leader, one who took over Marcel's place after he died. He does not believe Klaus' story of how Marcel died – Klaus told them Marcel was killed by a hunter, and he killed that hunter, but there was no proof. Not all trust Klaus."

"With good reason." Matt says, pausing. "Why would he want Johanna?"

"To compel the vampires, maybe. I'm not sure."

"He can do that. Can't he?"

Rebekah looks away again, not meeting his gaze. "They'll know it was him. Look I don't know why he would want her, or if he does, but I don't trust his motives. We need to get to her before he does."

Matt runs his hands over his forehead again, anxiously. "He's not good for her."

"No, he's not. Not good at all." Rebekah nods slowly, knowing this is true, also knowing that they have to find Johanna before Klaus does.

"Are we?"

"You're better for her than he is."

"Mm. It doesn't feel like that sometimes." Matt admits, running his hands through his hair. "It just feels like I'm not the person that I thought I was, and there's nothing I can do to change that. You know?"

"I know. Trust me, I know." Rebekah says, reaching out to put her hand on his shoulder then changing her mind, unsure if she should. She sets her hands back on her knees and looks at him. "You sound tired, Matt. You sound like you're tired of this, and like you could use a break."

Matt's head snaps back in her direction, and he watches her briefly before shaking his head, the words quickly slipping through his lips. "I can't-"

"You deserve it more than you think."

He scoffs and shakes his head, disbelieving. "Do I?"

"Yes, you do. You almost died, Matt. You deserve time to recover. And you know what? You deserve more than you've ever gotten. Just consider it. You and me, escaping.."

Matt falters, glancing away before looking up at her slowly. "You and me?"

"Yes?" Rebekah answers, the beginnings of a frown threatening to form on her face. She lifts her hand to her face and brushes back a strand of hair.

"Did you just invite yourself?" he asks, and a hint of a smile begins to slip through his lips.

Rebekah finds herself smiling and looks away, smiling even more when she feels Matt nudge her shoulder with his own.

"Did you just invite yourself?" he repeats.

She doesn't meet his gaze, but continues to smile. "Well, I wasn't sure you would. And it's not exactly a good thing for you to be alone right now, you get yourself in life threatening situations too often."

"Do I?" he asks quietly.

Rebekah nods, and there's suddenly a new seriousness to her voice when she speaks again. "Yes, you do."

"Mmm." Matt looks away. "I would've asked. Maybe. I don't know. I think I might have. You're different."

"No, I'm not, different."

"Maybe not noticeably. Maybe not even to you. You can't see it, but I can. I can see it, Rebekah, and it's important. It's so important to me." Matt tells her, and reaches out to put his hand lightly on her knee. He seems unsure, so she reaches out and puts her hand on top of his.

"Can I tell you something, Matt?" she asks quietly, still avoiding his gaze.

"Anything." he answers quietly, genuinely.

"I can't believe this is happening. And I'm not jumping to any assumptions here, trust me. When I say 'this' I don't mean us. I mean you and I spending time together. Just being in each other's company. Talking. I just.."

"What?"

"I hoped for it for so long, I never thought it would happen."

Matt swallows tightly and looks up at her. "You hoped for it?"

"Yes, I realise how desperate-"

"No, not desperate." he answers quietly. "It's sad. Sad that you were hoping for something, and then you gave up. It's sad that I didn't give you a chance before."

"Well, it's not like I gave you many reasons to. Did I?"

"No." Matt answers, and he's smiling again. "No, you certainly didn't back then. But now you're giving me reasons to. Now you're giving me reasons to want to be your friend."

"Friends?"

"Yeah. You think we can start there and stay there a while? I mean, I – You know..I think we need to focus on other things right now. You know what I mean?"

"Of course. I know." she says quietly, her hand still on his. "I know. And yes, friends is fine with me."

"That doesn't mean I don't want more, maybe. If that's how things work out. But right now I don't think we should start, you know, going on dates and stuff."

Rebekah smiles. "I know that, Matt. I wasn't – No. I know now is hardly the time for dates and stuff, as you put it. I'm well aware of that."

"Good." he smiles, meeting her gaze.

"Matt?"

"Mmmm?"

Rebekah's smile falters. "When you want to be more, will you let me now?"

His light blue eyes move down to their hands, then back to her eyes. He leans in a little closer. "I thought I already did."

* * *

**A/N: I'm really sorry about the late update. I've been dealing with a lot of things lately, but I'm going to make it up to you and update twice this week. Maybe even more than twice. Sorry. I hope you like this chapter, let me know what you think and if there's anything you want to see. Thanks for reading.**

**Thank you Paigetvdspn, Adela and Taylorocks for your reviews.  
**

**Guest reviewes:**

**Taylorocks17 chapter 6: **Thank you! I'm happy you liked it. There will be more of Enzo in future chapters. Sorry it took me so long to update, hope you enjoy the new chapter.

**Adela chapter 6:** Thanks, Adela! And yes don't worry, Jo and Damon will be reunited soon! He's not giving up on her so don't worry about that! And yes you're right, he was good for her and she's good for him. They'll be together soon. Thanks for reading, hope you liked the new chapter.

**x**


	8. Here's To Uncertainty

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampires Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

When Jeremy arrives at the Grill he finds the front door unlocked so he pushes it open, stepping inside to find most of the lights out, except the ones near the bar. Tyler is sitting at the bar by himself pouring himself a drink, the rest of the room empty. The chairs have been placed on top of the tables and the place has been cleared out for the night. Tyler looks up when Jeremy reaches the bar, pouring him a drink.

"Here you go."

"Where's Matt?" Jeremy asks, sitting down next to him.

"He's in Robert's office." Tyler answers, sliding him a drink.

"Still no sign of him?"

"Nope." Tyler answers, shaking his head as he lifts the glass to his lips. "He says the other staff have been opening and closing the Grill. They're taking care of it while Liz looks into it. He's been gone for a few days."

Jeremy looks away, down at his drink, staring at it before he swallows a large mouthful. He looks up when he hears the door open from behind and glances back, finding Sam inside. He looks back to Tyler, frowning slightly because he hadn't expected to see him.

"Yeah, I invited him. We spent a couple hours looking for signs and stuff the other day, he's pretty good at it. And he's not bad."

"Nothing in there." Matt calls out as he returns to the room, stepping behind the bar. He sighs and runs his hands over his face, leaving them there for a moment before he looks up. "Anyone else want a beer? Jeremy? Sam?"

"Thanks." Jeremy nods, looking to his right as Sam appears.

Sam sits down on the seat next to Jeremy with a sigh, then looks up. "Martin told me that Johanna called."

Matt tenses up from behind the bar as he returns with a few bottles of beer. He sets them down on the bench, leaving them to whoever wants to take one. After he picks up a bottle, removes the lid and swallows a large mouthful, Matt releases a sigh.

"Yeah, she did. She left a message on Jeremy's phone." Matt answers.

Sam reaches for a beer bottle, removing the lid. "She might call again."

"I don't think she will. It sounded pretty final, like she didn't want anything to do with us." Jeremy answers, deflated. "She didn't want us looking. She doesn't want anything to do with us."

"You know that's not true. Right? You three..." Tyler says, nodding at Jeremy and Matt. "The three of you became real close. We all saw it. You matter to her, she'll come back. And Damon...They obviously have something there. Don't they? So, that could be enough for her to come back. The thing is, we won't know until we find her."

"I think she needs time. I don't know what good we'll do for her until she's ready." Sam says quietly, drinking his beer slowly.

"Mmm." Matt pauses, looking down at them. "You talked to Elena or Bonnie yet?"

"Yeah." Jeremy nods, drinking some more. "They've decided to get away from the town for two weeks. Caroline can't join them."

"Yeah, she's going to stay with some relatives outside of Mystic Falls or something." Tyler says quietly, looking down at his glass. "We aren't..I don't really know if we're okay."

"Why? What happened?" Matt asks, a frown beginning to form on his features.

He watches Tyler closely, as he shifts in his seat, still staring down at his glass sadly for a moment, before lifting his gaze up to Matt and sighing.

"It happened before this. Right before the storm. I don't know. We kind of got to talking, and something felt different. She felt it too. I think she wants to take a break from us. I mean, we haven't really talked about it since. But I'm pretty sure that's what she wants."

"What are you going to do, man?" Matt asks quietly, sighing.

"I'm gonna give her space, give her time away. I'll focus on other things while that's going on."

Matt reaches out and squeezes Tyler's arm. "I'm really sorry, man."

"No, no, it's okay. It's okay. We might be okay, or we might not be. We'll figure it out eventually. And if it's over? There's not much I can do about it. Sometimes it's over, and that's it. You know? There's nothing you can do to fix it. I love her, I'll always love her. But sometimes you can't fix something, even if you want to."

Jeremy nods slowly, his voice much quieter as he speaks. "I know what you mean."

Matt runs his hands over his forehead, before finishing off his drink and looking up to the two of them. "So there was nothing about Robert in the room. No phone. I have no idea where he is, or what's going on."

"Robert's the crazy one. Right?" Samuel asks quietly.

"He was my boss. No, he is. We think Silas took his form, while he tortured -" Matt stops, looking to Jeremy then looking away. "Sorry, man."

Jeremy shrugs, finishing his drink and pouring another. "It's fine. You don't have to say sorry, it's not your fault. And I'm fine. Nothing really happened."

Matt looks up, disbelieving. "I saw the blood, Jer. I saw what it was like in here after. I mean – I cleaned that up. Rebekah helped. We saw what it was like, and it wasn't nothing."

"It was nothing for me. Cedric was the one who got shot." Jeremy answers, voice a little harsher as he drinks from the new glass.

"You heard anything from him?" Tyler asks after sharing a look with Matt.

Jeremy gives a slight shake of his head, not looking at either of them. "No, nothing at all. He hasn't contacted Meredith either."

"Where do you think he is? With Johanna?"

"I don't know where he is, but I don't think that he skipped town. He was..." Jeremy stops, staring down at his glass for a moment as his mind takes him back to those moments. "He was different."

"How?" Matt asks after a moment.

"I don't know how to explain it. He cared, about what was happening. He was really determined to help when the storm started and the veil went down. I don't think he'd just disappear without saying anything, and he wouldn't leave Enzo behind like that after what they went through."

Tyler shares another, brief look with Matt before looking back to Jeremy. "You think something happened to him then?"

"I don't know." Jeremy shrugs, swallowing some more of his drink.

"I'm sure he'll show up eventually." Sam answers quietly, before lighting up a smoke and shoving the packet back into his jeans.

Jeremy briefly looks down to Sam, before back to the others. "Maybe. Maybe not."

Tyler sighs and straightens up, looking for a way to change the conversation. "Have you talked to Elena and the others about leaving, Matt?"

Matt shakes his head. "No, not yet. I'm not even sure I'm leaving."

"You seemed pretty sure about it when you told me."

"I don't know, Tyler. I don't know if I can."

"You mean 'cause Johanna's gone?" Tyler asks, tilting his head slightly to the side. "You're not leaving her, if that's what you think."

"That's what I said." Jeremy adds in, voice low. "She's not here, so it's not like you're leaving her. Is it? She won't notice that you're gone. You deserve a break, Matt. "

Matt shakes his head slightly. "We all deserve a break, but neither of you are taking one. It's not fair that I should take one-"

"Matt, you died." Tyler says, reaching for a beer. "I was there when Johanna found your body. Your ring was gone, we thought you were dead. You were dead, Matt. It was real. If anyone deserves a break it's you. You've died a lot, and that was real. That was a close call. You were on the Other Side, and if you weren't wearing that anklet you wouldn't be here. Take a break, no one will hold it against you. And you know the moment we find something about Jo, we'll let you know."

"He's right, you deserve a break." Jeremy says, finishing off his drink. "You could be dead right now, but you're not. You're alive. Take a break. Look after yourself."

"Hang on. Sorry." Sam leans against the bar, the cigarette hanging between his fingers. "Anklet? What anklet?"

Matt looks to him, frowning slightly. "What?"

"You mentioned an anklet."

"Yeah?" he answers, pausing slightly as a frown begins to spread over his features again. "Why?"

Sam leans over the counter more. "Are you still wearing it, Matthew?"

"Yeah, I kept it on just in case. Why?"

"Give it here." Sam answers quickly, inhaling on the smoke.

"What?"

"Now. Hand it here."

Matt frowns but bends over, pulling up the bottom of his jeans and removing the silver anklet. He straightens up and extends his arm over the bar, holding out the anklet in his palm for Samuel, who takes it and inspects it closely, a frown forming on his forehead.

"What?" Matt asks, observing him closely.

Sam continues to inspect it closely. "Is this Johanna's?"

"Yeah, she was wearing it when she was human. When she first came to town, and on the island..." Jeremy trails off, pausing. "Why? And how do you even know about it?"

"I know this. I've seen it before." Sam answers quietly, his fingers slowly tracing the engravings and markings on the band.

"When?" Tyler asks, but receives no answer.

Sam stands from his seat slowly, still staring at the anklet for a moment before he moves to take a step back, but Jeremy stands and catches his wrist, stopping him.

"You can't just do that. You can't say that you know where this is from, and leave. Just like that. We don't know anything about it, really. Even Bonnie didn't know much about it when she looked at it. If you know something, you have to tell it."

Slowly, Sam meets Jeremy's gaze. The first thing he does is pull his wrist out of Jeremy's hold, and then he stands up straighter, shoving the anklet into the pocket of his black jacket.

"Okay, first: Don't touch me again, Jeremy." he says, voice colder. "I mean it. Don't. Secondly, I can and will do what I choose to do. I have seen the anklet before, but I can't remember where from. That is all I know about it."

"Look, he's just – He's trying to look out for Johanna. Okay? Because she wore that anklet a lot, and we don't know if it had any effects on her." Tyler answers.

Sam looks between the ground, before his eyes move back to Jeremy. "Who else wore it? Apart from Johanna, who else has worn it? I know Matt has. Who else?"

"Me." Jeremy answers. "I wore it for a while. Why?"

"If I have information I'll call." Sam takes a step back.

"Sam, wait. You can't-" Jeremy begins, soon falling silent.

Sam cuts across him, voice loud. "If I know anything I will call someone. You have my number, don't you?"

"No."

"Give me your phone."

Jeremy reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone, extending it to Samuel, who takes it and quickly enters his number. He hands the phone back to Jeremy and turns away, walking to the stairs. For a moment Jeremy watches after him, before he slowly turns back to where Matt and Tyler are by the bar. He joins them slowly, taking his seat and drinking some beer.

"That was a little weird." Jeremy says, glancing back at the door before looking back at Matt and Tyler, who both nod in agreement.

"He's a little weird." Matt murmurs.

"No, he's not. He's just..." Jeremy stops, then shrugs. "I don't know. What do you think he wanted that anklet for?"

"I don't know. Maybe he's seen it before, and he's trying to remember where." Matt answers uncertainly, as he walks around the bar and takes a seat beside them. "How's Martin doing?"

"Okay, I guess." Jeremy responds quietly. "We haven't really talked much. He spends a lot of his time in his room, or running laps around the house."

"What about Damon?" Tyler asks, drinking some more beer.

"He hides away in his room, drinking. When he comes out he's just..Mad at everyone and everything. But he agrees that Elena, Caroline and Bonnie leaving is a good idea. He doesn't know if it's going to be safe here for a while, and he doesn't really see that they can do much good right now."

"I get it. Where he's coming from, I do. There's not much we can do right now." Matt answers quietly. "I just..I feel like if I left, I would be letting her down. And I don't want to let her down, not again."

"Look, you two need to listen to me, because I'm not saying this again." Tyler answers, voice much louder, much more confident. "I didn't know what your plan was. Okay? I only found out because Caroline did. She told me, after Johanna knew. Look, my point is – It's not your fault. And stop, before you tell me it is, just stop and listen to me for a moment. Do you think you can do that?"

Jeremy sighs quietly. "Okay."

"Okay, good." Tyler says, turning to face the two of them more directly, so that he can meet their gaze. He continues speaking once he's facing them, his voice still loud but filled with concern. "You can't keep blaming yourself for this. It wasn't your idea. Yes, you lied to her and you kept the truth from her. But firstly, you didn't know, Jeremy. You didn't know, and after you found out..It wasn't like you had the chance to tell her when her memories were gone. She was weak and vulnerable, and I don't think she could have handled it. It wasn't your fault, and it wasn't yours, Matt. You knew longer, but it wasn't your idea. You lied, both of you. That's what you did. You lied. You can make up for it though. You can make up for your lies when we get her back, and we will. Stop sulking about it and do something useful. Everyone needs to do the same. Johanna's gone and her humanity is off, and it's sad, but why should we be able to feel those things? Feeling sorry for ourselves because we miss her and feel bad for her isn't going to do anything for her. It's not going to help. Finding a way to cope with it will help."

Jeremy and Matt exchange a silent look when Tyler finishes speaking, and a moment of silence passes before Jeremy sighs.

"Wow." he sighs. "That was..You're good at that. Talking. I mean, you didn't always used to be. You know what I mean."

"Thanks." Tyler smiles a little, sipping on his beer for a moment, before standing up from the bar and reaching for his jacket. "Okay, let's go. We're not sulking anymore. We have to meet the girls at the Boarding House and say goodbye, and Matt has to go home and pack because he's leaving town. And before all that, I need to talk with Rebekah. I gotta make sure she won't do anything stupid or get our boy Matt here in trouble."

"I still can't believe you're leaving with her."

"She's different now." Matt answers, defensively. He stands from his seat and picks up the glasses, carrying them around to the back of the bar. "I know you won't believe me, but that's because you haven't seen it. You don't know what she's like. She's..Helped me a lot. She misses Johanna. She cares. She's changing."

"I won't believe it until I see it." Tyler answers, sliding on his jacket.

"Yeah, me too." Jeremy nods. "And I don't think she's going to show us. She doesn't exactly like us."

"Trust me then." Matt says. "Trust me when I say I think she's changing, and she could be different."

"Like I said, I'm not believing anything until I see it." Tyler repeats, as he begins walking towards the front doors. "I know what she can be like. And I'm not saying she's not capable of change, but it's hard."

"I think almost everyone is capable of changing who they are, if they just try hard enough." Matt answers, following them up the stairs and to the front door.

"Not everyone." Jeremy responds. "And maybe not her. I guess we'll just have to wait and see with time."

Matt nods and follows them out of the Grill, locking up the front doors. "Guess so." he mutters quietly to himself, making sure everything is locked up before he follows Tyler to his car. The drive to the Boarding House only takes them a few minutes, and when they reach it they discover Elena's car has just pulled up to a stop outside of the Salvatore House. Behind her, Caroline's car has also just arrived.

Matt observes Jeremy and Tyler from the backseat, watching as the two seem to tense up at the sight of Bonnie and Caroline emerging from their separate cars. He releases a sigh and reaches out, clapping them both on the shoulders briefly, and with no explanation. They both look over their shoulders at him, only for a moment, and they don't ask for an explanation because somehow they know why he's doing it, and they appreciate it.

After Tyler parks the car and switches the engine off he jumps out of it, joining Matt and Jeremy who are walking towards the house. Bonnie, Elena and Caroline are standing beside the fountain, talking and hugging each other. Elena looks up to the three of them as they approach first, sighing quietly before a small smile fixes on her lips.

"You came."

"Of course we did." Jeremy answers, walking to Elena and embracing her. He hugs her tightly. "We weren't going to let you leave without saying goodbye."

"Why do you have two cars?" Matt asks, looking between the three of them. "Is Caroline bringing her own car packed with shoes and dresses?"

"Stop." Caroline smiles, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, I thought I told you.. It must have slipped my mind. I'm not going with them."

"What?" Tyler frowns, looking to her. "Are you staying?"

"No, I'm going to stay with family. Outside of town."

"Family outside of town? On your own?"

"Yes, Tyler." Caroline answers, a small smile on her lips. She reaches out and touches his arm lightly. "I need this, I need a break too. And I want to go with the girls, but right now..I feel like I need this. I need to be on my own for a little while."

"Don't bother trying to convince her." Bonnie says, pulling out of the embrace that she and Matt had shared for a moment. "I tried, it didn't work. She's determined to do this, and if it's what she wants then we shouldn't stop her."

"How are you feeling, Bonnie?" Tyler asks, eyes skimming over her briefly. "You sure look stronger than you did before."

"Do I?"

"Yeah. Much better." Jeremy agrees.

"Thanks." Bonnie answers, giving Jeremy a small smile before her eyes flicker towards the door of the Boarding House.

Damon stands inside the doorway still, looking down at the group from afar, while Martin moves past him and begins walking down the stairs towards the group. After a moment, Damon follows Martin silently, walking slowly down the stairs and to where the group stands near the fountain. He looks over them briefly, before releasing a loud sigh.

"Since when did we decide that my house was going to be the meeting place for your goodbye?"

"We would've asked you, but you were too busy getting drunk." Bonnie responds quickly.

Instead of frowning or ignoring her, Damon smirks a little. "I see that we have Bonnie, back to her usual bubbly self. Don't ever change, Bon-Bon."

"You too." Bonnie replies. "And when I say 'you too' I mean do change. You need to pull back on the drinking-"

"Ok." Damon puts his hands together. "I didn't come here for a lecture from a child. I came here to say a brief goodbye. Bonnie, Caroline, good riddance. Elena, take care of yourself and those two."

Elena turns to Damon, smiling a little as she reaches up to hug him. His hand hovers in the air for a moment before he settles it down on her back, hugging her lightly. When Elena pulls back she's wearing a somewhat serious look on her face.

"Take care of Jeremy."

"Yes ma'am." he nods stiffly.

"I mean it, Damon. I don't want-"

"Anything happening to him? Then take him with you."

Elena lets out a sigh, and shakes her head. "He doesn't want to come with us. I'm trusting you to look out for him."

"I won't let him die, if that's what you're saying."

"This is serious, Damon. Please. I need to know you're going to look after him while-"

"The more reliable Salvatore brother is absent? I'll try my hardest. And if you didn't know, I'm going to have Martin staying with me so...It's not like there won't be any adults around."

"You're staying?" Elena asks, turning towards Martin.

He gives a slight nod of his head. "Yes, I am. For as long as it takes."

"Could I – Could I talk to you for a moment, Martin?" Elena asks quietly, eyes only settled on him.

Martin nods his head and follows Elena as she leads the way back inside the Boarding house, leaving Damon with the remainder of the group. He looks over them briefly before sighing.

"You skipping town too, Prom King?" Damon asks, looking to where Matt stands. His eyes skim over him quickly, before he folds his arms over his chest and sighs. "Good. We don't need you here. Just don't let the She-Devil turn you, or something. We don't need any more vamps running around here anytime soon."

Matt clenches his jaw tightly and nods, turning away from Damon and walking back towards Tyler's car. When Damon looks back to the group he finds them all watching him, expectantly, and in a very judgemental way. He knows why, he understands their looks, and after making a point of rolling his eyes, Damon releases a sigh and follows the path that Matt had walked moments earlier. When he reaches the car Damon puts his hand against the door, stopping Matt from getting inside. He watches as Matt turns back to look at him, sighing.

"What, you're leaving without saying goodbye to your friends?" Damon asks, voice low.

"I'm not leaving, I was just-"

"Walking away from me."

Matt sighs and looks up at him, unimpressed. "Yeah, and you followed me because you're a dick and you seek out confrontation."

"That's nice."

"It's true, Damon. It's always going to be true. You're a dick. And you're – You're a control freak, who always tries to be in control of the situation. If it's not going your way you find a way to fix that. And if it's not about you then you change that and make it about you, because everything is about you in your eyes."

"Okay, let's save all of that for the therapist you'll be seeing in a few years. Sorry to shatter your ideas, asshole. I didn't come over here because I was seeking out confrontation, or because I'm a dick. Yeah, I'm a dick. Okay? I know that. I embrace it because it's who I am. I came over here - You know what? Forget it. Forget that I was trying to say that I was sorry. Forget the apology you clearly don't think I'm capable of."

"Wait. An apology?" Matt asks, frowning.

Slowly Damon turns around to face him, his eyes set on Matt. He releases a small sigh as he glances away from Matt, looking back to him. "Yeah. An apology. Not that you or anyone else around here thinks that I'm capable of one."

"Maybe if you actually apologised then we would-"

"I'm sorry. Okay, dumbass?" Damon says quickly, voice a little louder. "I'm sorry about everything that happened with Johanna. I'm sorry about April. What I did...Her death is on me. I know that, I'm at peace at it. Well, not at peace..I'll never be at peace with it. But I've accepted that it is on me, and there is nothing I can do to fix or change that. It is my fault. And you can blame me all you want. All of you can. Hate me. Get angry. I deserve that and more for all of eternity."

"I don't blame you."

"What?" Damon asks, frowning slightly.

"I don't blame you for April's death. You didn't..It wasn't you. You had no control over yourself. Maybe I blame you for being stupid enough to get injected with the virus. You didn't tell anyone, and that's your guilt. That's your fault. Maybe if you had told someone April wouldn't be dead, or maybe she would. All I know is, I don't blame you for it. You blame yourself and that's enough."

"It's not enough. I deserve your hate-"

Matt cuts across him, voice louder. "Not for this."

"For Johanna?"

"I don't hate you for that. I knew. I let it happen. It's not just your fault, Damon. As much as I try to tell you it is, and as much as I try to convince myself it is, it's not. I only do those things to try to make myself feel a little better about it, but it doesn't work. It never works because I know that I'm guilty in this too. I lied, I kept the truth from her, and I have to deal with it on my own."

"I don't know if it's worth anything..But I don't think you did. I don't think you did anything wrong. Okay? You kept it from her, but you looked out for her. I lied from the beginning. If anyone has guilt to deal with..."

"Then deal with it, Damon. Quit drinking all the time. Don't be in such an unbearable mood, because if you keep pushing people away they're not going to come back. Let them help. When I get back to town, I'll help. I will. I need time. You need time too. So just..Take care of yourself. Okay?"

"Okay." Damon nods slowly, looking away then back to him in a second. "Now go see your friends, dumbass. They're leaving and they want to hear this sentimental shit you're spewing to me."

Matt nods and starts to walk away, only to stop when he hears Damon's voice coming from behind him, calling out to him.

"Quarter-back?"

He stops and watches Damon. "What?"

"Don't get yourself killed while you're gone. There are people who would miss you. I know, I find it hard to believe myself sometimes too."

"You too." Matt answers, watching him for a moment longer before he returns to the group.

Damon stares at them from where he stands for a moment, until his eyes shift towards the stairs, where Elena is walking down with Martin. He notices immediately that Elena's eyes are puffy, she's been crying. Martin smiles at Elena when she looks at him, in a reassuring and comforting way. Without being there Damon already knows what they were talking about, but he doesn't approach Elena in an attempt to comfort her because she puts on a smile and embraces her friends.

After continuing to watch them from afar for a few minutes Damon rejoins the group, moving to stand near Martin. He wishes them goodbye, watching as they embrace each other before going their separate ways. Caroline is the first to leave, her car disappearing from view in moments. Elena and Bonnie say one last goodbye before leaving, and once their car is gone the remaining members of the group walk to where Martin and Damon are standing.

"Why aren't you gone?" Damon asks, eyes narrow as he looks at Matt. "I thought you were leaving too. Don't tell me I'm stuck with your annoying ass for all of-"

"I'm leaving. I am. I need to pack, and stuff."

"How interesting. Send the rest of it to me in an email." Damon answers as he turns towards the stairs, walking back inside quickly.

"Stay safe." Martin says, smiling a little at Matt.

Matt nods his head. "I will Mr Saltzman. Sir."

"Call me Martin."

"Okay, Martin. I'll be safe." Matt answers, pausing. "I'm not leaving her. I'm not giving up. I just-"

"I understand. Take all the time you need. We'll do all the hard work while you're slacking off."

Tyler smiles, clapping Matt on the shoulder. "He's right. You go and be lazy. We'll do all the hard work, as always."

"As always?" Jeremy repeats, smiling from the shock. "You two never do the work. I'm the one always doing the work."

Matt rolls his eyes. "Here we go."

"He always says that. Doesn't he?" Tyler smiles. "He's always complaining about doing all the work."

"Because you two never do it!" Jeremy exclaims, a hint of a smile coming across on his lips.

Matt shakes his head. "You always say that. You always want a reason to complain."

"I'm starting to think I won't miss you as much anymore." Jeremy answers, the grin breaking through on his lips. He laughs a little as Matt walks towards him, and the two embrace, tightly but briefly. "Stay safe, Matt."

"I will." Matt nods, pulling back. "I'll be fine. You all..Stay safe. Look after each other."

"We will." Tyler answers. "Now come on. I'm driving you back to your place, and you're packing. Then I'm having a word with Rebekah. I won't have her getting you into trouble."

"You sound very protective of him." Jeremy answers, smiling.

"Just trying to look after my friends. I'll see you later, Jer." Tyler calls out, walking towards the car.

Matt turns back and casts one last look back at Jeremy and Martin, before he follows Tyler into the car. The engine starts up and Tyler turns the car around, driving it off in the direction of Matt's house.

When they're gone from view, Jeremy looks up to Martin, who is standing on the stairs with his arms folded across his chest. He looks to Jeremy and sighs, and the two begin walking up the stairs. Martin pats Jeremy on the back lightly.

"Your sister asked me to look out for you. I will, but I know you can take care of yourself." Martin says quietly, looking at Jeremy.

After releasing a quiet sigh Jeremy speaks, voice softer, lower. "She just worries. That's who she is. She doesn't want to lose me, and I don't want to lose her. I can't."

"You won't. Take care of each other, and you'll be fine. And despite how Damon is right now, I can see he cares a lot about you. All of you. He won't let anything happen to you."

Jeremy nods and seems like he might respond, but changes his mind when he finds Damon standing in the parlour, his phone in his hand. He looks up at the two of them slowly, a strangely empty look on his face. Then a smile cracks across his lips, and Jeremy doesn't know what to think.

"Uh..Everything okay, Damon?" Jeremy asks slowly, taking a few steps closer towards him.

"That was Rebekah." Damon answers slowly, looking down at the phone in his hand briefly, before directing his gaze back to where they stand.

Jeremy frowns even more, the uncertainty he feels inside of himself growing. "I don't understand why you're smiling, Damon. You hate Rebekah."

Martin shares a look with Jeremy, before taking a few more steps in Damon's direction. His voice is calm as he speaks. "Why don't you just sit down for a moment, Damon? You haven't had blood in a while, and-"

"It's about Johanna." Damon says, voice wavering, the smile on his lips uncertain, like he's unsure if he deserves to be smiling.

"What about Johanna?" Jeremy asks, somehow more confused. "I thought it was about Rebekah? You're not making much sense, Damon. When was the last time you had blood?"

"Rebekah said that Klaus tracked Johanna to a motel near Boston. Klaus said that she's not at the motel anymore but he has a lead, and he could – he could find her. There's a chance that he could find her."

Jeremy looks between Martin and Damon, before he shakes his head. "I don't think that's a good idea, Damon. I don't think this is good."

"What?" Damon asks, the smile on his lips faltering before disappearing entirely.

"Klaus finding Johanna. I don't think that's a good idea at all. Considering how he..." Jeremy stops, clenching his jaw tightly together. "I don't think that's a good idea at all. He's not good. I don't trust him at all, and I know you don't either."

"No, Jeremy, he wasn't – He's not looking, and his people..The ones looking, they aren't going to approach her. He's going to give us the location. That means we have to start packing. And we have to leave. We have to go to the motel, at least we'll be closer. We don't have any reason not to go, do we?"

"Uh, yeah, I think we do. I think that reason is down in your basement."

"What, Enzo? I'm not-"

"He's sick, Damon." Jeremy answers, shaking his head.

"Not my problem."

"Yes, it is, Damon." Martin steps forward. "You infected him, that makes it your fault, thereby making it your problem."

"I don't care about him."

"Doesn't matter." Martin responds, shaking his head. "You did that too him. That's your problem."

"Don't – Why aren't you two hearing me? We might have found Johanna. Don't you realise how big this is?"

"Martin's right." Jeremy sighs. "We can't leave Enzo unsupervised."

"He's not a child. What do you want to do? Take him with us?" Damon asks, then notices the looks that spread across their faces. "No. No way. We aren't taking him with us to Boston. Don't you understand how stupid that is?"

"What are you going to do? Leave him?"

"One of you can watch him." Damon answers firmly. "I'm not putting this off, I'm not putting off our search for Johanna, because of Enzo."

"If you've found Johanna, I'm coming with you."

"Me too." Jeremy nods in agreement with Martin.

"No way." Damon answers, shaking his head, his voice firm and loud as he speaks. "I'm not taking both of you. I'm not sure I could survive the journey."

"You don't have a choice."

"A choice for what?" Sam asks, entering through the front door. His eyes skim over those standing in the room before moving to Jeremy, who speaks next.

"Did you find what you were looking for?"

"What were you looking for?" Martin asks, curious and slightly confused.

"Wow. Okay, so many questions at once. Questions that I don't care for. Listen up, pug." Damon says, looking to Sam. "We found Johanna. Maybe. You're here last, meaning you're the babysitter. Enzo's down in the cellar. Why don't you two go get yourselves acquainted?"

"No way." Sam answers, moving quickly down the stairs. "If you found Johanna, I'm coming. I go where Martin goes."

Damon pulls a face, then stares at Sam, in a judgemental way. "That's a little weird. And clingy."

"We work better as a team."

"Oh, wait. I got this one." Damon says, fighting off a smirk on his lips. "Let me translate pooch talk for the rest of you: You're scared to be here on your own because you can't kill anything without activating the werewolf gene."

"Did you find Johanna or not?" Sam asks, clearly impatient.

"Maybe."

"Maybe?" he replies, then shakes his head, looking away from Damon. "Well that's reassuring."

Jeremy looks to Sam, a complex look hidden on his features. "We need to talk."

Damon notices something between them and frowns. "What's more important than finding Johanna?"

"Nothing, I-" Jeremy begins, but isn't able to finish.

"Exactly!" Damon exclaims. "Right now, nothing is. So stay here for a minute, while we decide what we're doing and when we're leaving."

"Tomorrow. We should leave tomorrow." Martin says, voice firm. He looks over the faces in the room before looking to Damon. "You need to find someone to look after Enzo while you're gone. You also need to call any vampire you know, that's still in town, and get enough vampire blood for you and Enzo to survive. Because you won't keep surviving. Human blood isn't enough for you right now, so you need some vampire blood to keep you going. I worked out how much you'll need, every few hours, that won't be too much. It will be just enough to keep you going."

"I'll call Barbie the vampire. She owes me a few favors. So, we leave tomorrow morning?" Damon asks, voice unsteady, almost shaky.

Martin nods slowly. "We'll leave first thing in the morning. That way, we have time to figure out where we're going, what direction to take."

"Where did you say it was?" Jeremy asks quietly.

"Just outside of Boston. We don't have to wait for that - Klaus. We don't need to wait to hear from him. I had a house in Boston. We spent years there. She grew up there. I know where she might be."

"Wait. You know and you didn't think to say anything?"

"No, I didn't know." Martin turns back briefly. "I didn't think she'd ever go back. She may not be there. But if she's in Boston, I don't need Klaus to tell me where. We'll go to the places she used to visit. She could be there."

Damon nods slowly, looking away from the three of them as he speaks. "You don't have to do this. The three of you...This is my fault. All of it-"

"You're not alone, Damon. It's as simple as that." Martin answers, before turning away again and walking up the stairs, to his room.

Damon stares after Martin briefly before he looks at the two of them, only for a moment. He walks over to the decanter and pours himself a drink, taking it with him into the library. This leaves Sam and Jeremy alone to a silence that Jeremy quickly breaks.

"Did you remember where you found it?"

"No." Sam answers, and walks past him.

Jeremy frowns, following him. "That's all you're going to say?"

"What do you want me to say?"

Jeremy continues to follow Sam, up the stairs and on to the balcony that leads to the bedrooms. "Something else?"

"Something else." Sam repeats flatly, not looking back at Jeremy who rushes to his side. "Look, I don't know what you want from me, Jeremy."

"The truth."

"I don't have it, and if I did – It's not yours."

Jeremy frowns even more, not understanding a word that he's saying. "What does that mean even mean?"

"It means whatever you want it to mean. It's going to be a big day tomorrow, best get some sleep."

"Hey." Jeremy snaps, moving to block Sam's path. "We're not done here. I don't need to get an early night sleep. I'm fine. I want to know how you knew what the anklet was, and I don't want you to lie about it. I want to know the truth."

"Why does it matter to you?" Sam retorts, sounding angry.

"Because it was Johanna's, and when she – After she died on the island, we got her body back here, to the house that I used to live in. They saw that I was wearing her anklet, I was..Well, I was dead. Okay? I was dead too. And I only came back because of her anklet. Bonnie identified it, but not well. She said she'd only heard of it, and she told me..."

"What? What did she tell you, Jeremy?"

Jeremy looks away and takes a step back, before directing his gaze towards Sam's light eyes. "She told me it could create a sickness in the mind. If Johanna- If she's sick, we need to know."

"I wish there was something I could say, but I don't have the answers you're seeking." Sam says with a sigh and steps past him, walking down towards his room. "I don't know anything about the anklet. I remembered it from my childhood. A lost memory. A very old one, involving my father. That's why I remember it. The rest..I don't have your answers."

Jeremy follows Sam slowly, his voice less strained, a little calmer too. "I don't know where to get answers from. Bonnie has none, and I don't know-"

"If Johanna was sick, you would know it. Okay? I don't know what the sickness is, but if it's a sickness it would have shown effects. Did she show any prior to her disappearance?"

"No." Jeremy answers after a pause, shaking his head. "She was fine."

Sam stops outside of his room and turns to look up at Jeremy. "You wore it. Didn't you, Jeremy?"

"Yeah, I did."

"And Matt, he wore it too?"

"Yeah, he wore it after I did. What are you asking?"

Sam takes a step towards him, tilting his head slightly to the side. He eyes him off slowly, before meeting his gaze again. There's a new look in his eyes, a darker one, an almost sadder one.

"Jeremy, are you sick?" he asks, voice much quieter.

"What?" Jeremy asks a little too loudly, a deep frown now taking place over his face.

"Are you sick?" Sam repeats, the same look in his sides.

"I wore it once. Same with Matt. I'm fine."

After studying his face silently for a moment, Sam speaks with a quieter voice. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Jeremy answers almost instantly, the frown now gone from his forehead. He watches as Sam straightens up and nods.

"Okay."

"That's it?"

Sam nods again. "I believe you."

"Wait. You trust me?"

"I don't know yet." he answers, pausing. "Do you trust me?"

"I don't know." Jeremy answers, still watching him closely. "Matt told me how you stayed with him. How you waited until he woke up to make sure he was okay. That doesn't sound so bad. I don't know you, so I don't trust you. But that means something. And you and Martin, you fought on our side when the veil went down. That means something too."

"I knew that he meant something to Johanna. She's lost enough."

"Like her son."

Sam's expression changes, and a fragment of anger slips through. He shakes his head, looking away from Jeremy before he looks back at him. "I told you not to mention that. Didn't I?"

"You said not to say it to her and I won't. But I have..Questions."

"What kind of questions? God, how young are you? Haven't you had the sex talk?"

"Not those questions." Jeremy responds almost immediately. "I meant questions about Johanna, about her son."

Sam sighs before he opens the door to his room and steps inside, gesturing for Jeremy to enter, because if they're going to talk about this they're not going to talk about it in the hallway. He waits until Jeremy is inside and shuts the door, before walking to his bag on the large bed.

"Nice place here." Sam mutters, pulling out a bottle of whiskey. He removes the lid and swallows a large mouthful, before reaching into the bag and pulling out a bag of pills.

Jeremy frowns and walks towards Sam, eyeing off the pills. "What are those?"

"You lot are a nosy bunch, that's for sure."

"Sam." Jeremy sighs, walking closer, his eyes still set on the pills.

"I put that nicely." Sam says, swallowing a mouthful of them. "You're intrusive-"

"You're using?"

"It's pain medication."

Jeremy stops walking closer and looks up at Sam, a disbelieving look on his face. "Pain medication? For what?"

Sam shakes his head, swallowing some whiskey before speaking. "Nosy, nosy, nosy. First you want to know about Johanna. Now these. Did it cross your mind those things aren't you business? Hmm? Maybe you don't know about them for a reason?"

"No, I just.." Jeremy stares at the pills for a moment, before taking a few steps back. "I used to..I was.."

"Oh." Sam sighs, understanding. He quickly shoves the pills away, screws the lid on the whiskey and looks to Jeremy. "You stopped?"

"I tried to kill myself by overdosing. I'd get high a lot too. I had black outs sometimes. I don't really remember much of it."

Sam looks away for a moment, before eventually glancing back at him. "I'm sorry for – If I'd known you were clean, I wouldn't have pulled it out in front of you."

"Don't say sorry. It's not – You didn't know." he answers, pausing. "Does Martin know? I mean, I know he's clean. Damon said that he's been sober for a while. Does he know you're taking that stuff?"

"Yep." Sam nods briefly. "It's to help with the pain."

"Are you sick?" he asks.

"I suppose."

Jeremy hesitates. "With what?"

Sam shrugs slightly, taking a step closer. "I don't like to talk about it."

"Would being a werewolf help? I mean, if you turned..Would it heal you?"

"No. It would undoubtedly bring me more pain." he answers, moving towards one of the armchairs at the end of the bed.

A moment later Jeremy follows, moving to sit in the armchair right beside Sam's. He relaxes into it, sighing as he sets his head back and looks up.

"How did you know that you had the gene?" Jeremy asks curiously.

"My brother was a werewolf. He taught me about what it would be like. He only wanted me to become one when I was ready. I was nine when I found out."

"What happened to your brother?"

Sam looks away, staring down at the rug covering part of the floor. "He died. It was a long time ago."

Jeremy is tempted to look away but doesn't, and instead continues watching Sam closely. "I'm sorry. It must still hurt."

"It did. It does. Pain always stays, doesn't it?" Sam answers, lifting his head up. "I mean, pain is pain regardless of the years. Why'd you try to kill yourself?"

"To become a vampire. I didn't want to..Feel anything. I'd just..I lost someone. I've lost a lot of people."

Sam sighs quietly. "I'm sorry."

"Pain is pain." Jeremy repeats quietly, gazing off for a moment. "We all feel it."

"You're clean now?" he asks, voice softer.

"Yes."

Sam nods and leans his head back against the armchair, shutting his eyes for a moment. "Then you're staying that way. I won't be responsible for your relapse. I won't have you near the stuff. I catch you near it or using, you'll wish I hadn't."

"Sounds like a warning."

"It is a warning. Don't cross me, and don't touch my things." Sam answers, pausing. "And for your own sake, stay away from those things."

Jeremy looks away, down at the carpet briefly. "Why do you care?"

"Because..I don't know. Honestly? I don't know why I care. I don't know what it is about you, but I care. You've all been through a fair bit, and you don't deserve any more pain. And using again? That would only bring you more pain, and it'd bring everyone else more pain too. You don't need that."

"Do you?" Jeremy asks after a moment of silence passes between them. "Do you need to bring yourself that pain?"

Sam's eyes open and he releases a light sigh. "What I take – It's a relief from the pain."

"It's for the pain." Jeremy nods. "To dull it. But what you're doing, it's not just to numb physical stuff too. Is it?"

A crooked smile fixes on Sam's lips. "Am I that open to read?"

"No, not at all. You're the opposite." he answers, stopping briefly. "I just..I think I get it, in a way. Okay, yes, I do get it. I know what it's like, trying to do that, trying to dull the pain. I want to do that. All the time. It's hard, fighting it because sometimes..I have so much pain inside of me. Like right now. There is so much of me that is in pain. I'm hurting all over, and there's nothing that I can do to stop that. Nothing at all."

"Find something good. That's a start."

"Is it?" Jeremy asks.

Sam shrugs, then the smile returns to his lips. "Maybe. Fuck, I don't know. I never found anything good, so I wouldn't be taking my advice. Try talking to Martin. He's good at that shit, at talking."

"You're not so bad." Jeremy answers, almost smiling.

"Mmm? Sounds like you're complimenting me, Jeremy Gilbert."

"I'm just being honest."

"Right." Sam sighs, standing from his chair. "If you're so intent on not sleeping yet, what will you be doing this evening?"

"I don't know. Why?"

Sam walks over to his bag slowly. "You still drink, don't you?"

"Sometimes." he answers, hearing Sam's footsteps fade away.

"Let's say you and I.." Sam pauses, picking up two glasses. "Have something to drink. A small, celebratory drink for finding Johanna."

"We haven't found her yet."

"But we're closer to finding her than we've ever been, and that counts for something. Doesn't it?"

"It does." Jeremy says, standing from the chair. "Let's do it. Let's have a drink – Not a celebratory one, because it's a little too early for that. It's too uncertain right now. There's too much that's uncertain. Let's just have a drink."

"Just a drink?" Sam asks, looking up at him. "Swear it? You're not going to swipe my stash when I'm not looking?"

"I swear." Jeremy nods, walking closer.

"Good. Here you go."

He takes the drink from Sam's hand slowly, smiling at him. "Thanks."

"Here's to.." Sam pauses, holding up the drink. "Uncertainty."

Jeremy nods and lifts his glass. "To uncertainty."

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you Paigetvdspn, Adela and Taylorocks17 for your reviews. This update is for you. Enjoy!

I know these past few chapters have been...A little slow, but I need to set a few things up within the story before the 'bigger' things happen. You'll understand in later chapters. And things will pick up soon, especially when they hit the road looking for Johanna. And you'll receive a few answers to your questions, like who took the cure, where Cedric is, and where Johanna is!

Thanks for reading!

**Guest reviews:**

Taylorocks17 chapter 7: That's exactly what's happening. Damon, Jeremy, Martin and Sam are staying on the hunt for Johanna. I hope you'll enjoy the next chapter. Also, I'm really glad you like Charlotte and Stefan. Chapter 8 is a big one for those two. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Adela chapter 7: You're right! Damon's not going to give up on her. He's going to find her, and he's going to have help from Jeremy, Martin and Sam. I wanted to give these four a chance to possibly bond, so that's why it's just the four of them. And Matt & the others needed a break. Hope you like the new chapter.

**x**


	9. Not The Good Guy

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampires Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

Faraway sounds and voices pass Stefan by unnoticed as he walks through the small town and down to the diner. He passes through loud crowds enjoying their evening walks and meals, and as he passes by unseen he is relieved that he hasn't been noticed or approached, because his intention was never to make friends.

When Stefan left Mystic Falls he left to be alone, because he felt guilty, because he felt that he deserved to be alone and he still feels that way. Even as he walks to the diner to meet Charlotte he isn't sure why he agreed to this, because he could have easily rejected her offer and never seen her again, he could have walked away from her or compelled her to forget him. But he doesn't want to do that, and he's not entirely sure why.

After crossing the road, Stefan walks in the direction of the diner and glances up to find some of the lights still on, and from here he can see that it's mostly empty, with only a few customers scattered throughout it. The door swings open, he hears the bell ring from here, and Charlotte steps out. Dressed in black jeans with tears in the front, a light pink shirt tied up around her waist and a baggy dark blue sweater, she pulls a bag over her shoulder and turns in his direction.

She curses when she sees him.

"Oh, shit."

"Always a great greeting." Stefan answers sarcastically, as he walks closer to her. His eyes skim over her briefly, noticing how her hand lifts to her hair, which is tied up in a messy bun.

Charlotte drops her hand to her side and releases a deep sigh. "I got held up in there. Lenny didn't come in when his shift started, so I was there longer then I was meant to be."

"That's fine. Maybe another night."

"No, we can still do tonight." Charlotte answers, pulling up her sweater when it falls away, and then moving to button it up. "I just need to go home and get changed. You remember the street, right? You walked me to the corner. When you were in need of that walk."

"Oh, right. Yeah. I'm in need of another walk." Stefan answers flatly, folding his arms over his chest.

After making a point of skimming over him with her eyes, Charlotte meets Stefan gaze and nods in agreement. "I thought so. You look like you need it."

Stefan tilts his head to the side and walks closer. "You make really good first impressions, Charlotte. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Come on." she answers, ignoring his words. "Let's go. I need to get out of these clothes, I've had such a long day."

Stefan walks closer, soon reaching her. "Busy day?"

"Mhmm." Charlotte nods, checking the watch on her wrist before glancing up to him. They fall into place beside each other as they walk down the path, towards the street she lives on. "So, tell me, Stefan. What have you been doing today?"

"Nothing interesting."

A smile tugs on her lips as she looks up at him, noticing how he looks at her through the corner of his eye. "I think that's a lie. I think you've been standing in front of that mirror all day, trying to make your hair look as perfect as you possibly can."

Stefan shakes his head, amused. He almost smiles. "Is that so?"

Charlotte nods, looking back out on the street. The sky has only just begun to darken, and lights around them keep it clear and bright. "Yeah, I think it is."

"And why would I do that?"

"To impress me."

Stefan looks at Charlotte finally, then smiles at her. "Well, clearly you've tried your hardest to impress me with your hair."

She rolls her eyes and the smile vanishes from her face. "Stop. Don't be a jerk."

"I'm not being a jerk."

"Uh, yes, you are. You're a jerk." Charlotte answers, checking her watch again, before folding her arms around herself and focusing on the path they're walking on. They reach a corner and turn left, following that.

"You really don't hold back, do you?" Stefan asks, sighing quietly. "You're constantly giving me such kind compliments."

"Okay, Mr Jerk-Face."

Stefan nods and looks out at the street again, eyes skimming briefly over a group that they pass by. He ignores them and looks at Charlotte, whose eyes are focused on what's in front of her. Her arms are still tightly wrapped around herself, and she's wearing a small frown on her face.

"I was joking, Charlotte." Stefan says quietly, his voice softer.

Charlotte nods, still avoiding her gaze. "I know. I can recognize a joke when I see one."

"You sound like you're upset."

"No, not upset. Not at all." she answers, and suddenly stops outside a house. "We're here. You want to come inside?"

"Uh, I don't-"

"Come inside or wait out on the street, I don't care. I'm getting changed quickly."

Stefan looks past Charlotte and to the house behind her; it's a small, two storey brown house. The paint on the outside of the house has faded away, and started to chip. The front window is broken, and has been covered with tape. The bushes in the garden are messy, but there are some nice flowers and trees breaking through the chaotic green madness.

When his eyes shift back to where Charlotte was he discovers that she's already walking down the path, towards the set of stairs that lead up to the second level of the house. He releases a small sigh and follows her, soon reaching the stairs and walking up them. On the balcony of the second level there is a long, green armchair with yellow cushions, and books scattered across them. There are many different kinds of plants and vases up here, as well as other small, random items that Stefan's eyes don't have enough time to look at before Charlotte calls him.

"You coming inside or not?" she asks from the doorway.

"Sure." Stefan nods, and walks towards her.

Stefan realizes that the second level of the house must be solely for her; it's not very big, it's actually pretty cramped, but it's still nice, he thinks silently to himself as his eyes skim quickly over the inside. It's all open space: There's a small kitchenette on the left side, with a fridge, a sink and a row of light blue bench tops. A rectangular wooden table stands near the fridge, with a chair at either end and a vase of flowers on it.

On the right side of the room there is a small, green couch in the corner with a tiny television standing in front of it. A green and red rug sits on the wooden floor in front of the couch, and on top of the rug a small glass table stands.

"You just going to stand there?" Charlotte asks, walking towards the kitchen. She sets her bag down on the bench and looks back to Stefan, her eyebrows silently raised.

"No, it's – It's nice." Stefan says, meeting her gaze. "You have a lot of flowers."

Charlotte continues to wear a small frown on her features as her eyes skim over the room briefly. She looks back to Stefan a moment later, and nods slowly.

"Uh, yeah. I guess I do." she answers, voice flat, lower.

Stefan clears his throat before he speaks again, his eyes settled on her. "No, don't think that's meant as an offense. It's not. They're nice. I like your place."

She raises her eyebrows more, and tilts her head to the right slightly. "You like it?"

"Yes, I do. It's nice and cozy. And very green. Do you like green?"

Charlotte nods, biting down on her lip before answering. "I guess. Green's okay."

"Green's okay." Stefan repeats quietly, not sure why. "It's nice."

She rolls her eyes and turns away, walking towards the kitchen. "You're just saying that."

"No, I'm not."

"I think you are." Charlotte moves, leaning back against the counter. "I think you're saying that in a pitying way. Like 'Ooh. It's nice. But nothing compared to the mansion I've got home.' Yeah, that's exactly what you're saying."

Stefan laughs lightly, and moves to stand closer to her. "I don't have a mansion."

"Okay, if you say so." she pushes herself off of the counter and walks to the fridge, opening it up. "You want a beer or something? Water?"

"No, I'm fine. I'll wait until we get to the bar."

"Suit yourself." she says, stepping away from the fridge. "I'm going to get changed. Snoop. Don't snoop. I don't care."

Stefan nods, folding his arms again. "I'm not a snooper."

"Everyone says that," Charlotte calls out, as walks to a door near the kitchen and opens it. "But they're all lying."

"I didn't know that. Thanks for telling me." Stefan says, glancing away from her and looking back at the room. He hears a few noises and some movement coming from her room, but ignores it and walks forward, towards the glass table in front of the couch.

When he reaches the table he leans forward and picks up a few books, skimming over the titles of each of them before setting them back down. His eyes pay careful attention to the room, which he notices is free of photographs or anything sentimental.

"I thought you didn't snoop."

Charlotte's voice comes from behind him and Stefan immediately turns around, his gaze briefly meeting hers before it skims over her, almost against his will. It's almost like he's powerless as his eyes wander of her; she's now wearing a long black skirt, that hugs her waist and falls down to the floor. His eyes move to the tight black and red shirt with stripes that hugs her curves, and then down to the white heels that she bends over to slip on her feet.

Suddenly realizing that he's been staring noticeably, he looks away. "I guess I lied."

"Most people do."

"Do you?"

"Yes. All the time." Charlotte smacks her lips together, reaching for the small purse that she'd left on the small table by the fridge. She picks it up, counts the money inside and then closes it. "You ready to go?"

"I am. Are you?"

"I'm ready." she says, then walks to the door to step outside. "Let's go."

The next time they speak is when they're walking on the path again, heading down in the direction of the town. Charlotte looks up to Stefan and sighs.

"You don't have to do this."

"What?" he looks down at her, silently curious. "Do what?"

"Have dinner with me."

"I agreed-"

Charlotte speaks across him, her voice a little louder. "That doesn't mean you have to stick with it. It's okay if you don't want to."

Stefan looks to her, curious. "Why wouldn't I want to?"

"I don't know. I'm just saying, okay? I'm just telling you that I get it, that you might want to cancel."

Stefan looks away, sensing a defensive tone in her voice. He waits a moment before speaking, also noting a slight hint of insecurity in her voice. "We're both dressed and walking to the bar. I think it's a little late to cancel."

"Well, it's not." she looks away, her fringe falling back in her face. "It's not too late. If you don't-"

"You're not half bad." he cuts across her this time, his voice surprisingly reassuring.

She smiles, looking up at him. "You're not half bad either. Guess that makes us completely bad together."

"Do you – I'm sorry. Do you think about what you say, before you say it?"

Charlotte shakes her head, grinning at him. "No, not really."

Stefan smiles, nodding. "I didn't think so. I didn't think you did. You speak without thinking. That's very inconsiderate of you, Charlotte. Very inconsiderate."

"Oh!" she exclaims, hitting him lightly in the arm. "Yeah. Like you put so much thought into what you say? Mr-I'll-Take-A-Coffee-For-Free-And-Lie-About-Who-I-Am."

"Yeah, that. What was with that?" Stefan asks, eyes narrowed slightly. "Don't you have anything better to do then trick customers like that?"

Charlotte shrugs slightly. "I don't trick all of the customers. Just a few."

"So, you picked me?" Stefan asks, then pulls a face. "I feel special, Charlotte."

"Well, you should, Stefan."

He nods, walking by her side as they cross the road and continue down another path. "Oh, I do. Really special."

Charlotte looks back up at him, an unimpressed look on her face. "I sense sarcasm."

"I'm Mr-Sarcastic."

"You didn't actually prove the point you think I did."

"Actually, no, I did. I did. I am Mr-Sarcastic."

Another laugh passes through Charlotte's lips and she nods, redirecting her gaze away from him and out on to the road. "Maybe you are. Maybe this all makes sense now."

"Maybe, or maybe it doesn't. Maybe it doesn't make sense, and it never will."

"Hello, Mr Pessimistic." she looks up at him. "It's nice to meet you."

"And who are you, Miss Optimistic?"

"No, not at all. I know what's real and what isn't. That's who I am."

Stefan nods slowly, thinking these words over in his mind before forming a response, and then voicing it a moment alter. "Sounds like a simple way of living."

"You'd think so." Charlotte answers, drifting off from the conversation for a moment before quickly returning it. "So, Stefan. Are we going to have some fun tonight?"

"I don't know." Stefan answers, voice flat, face serious. "Maybe."

She nods slowly. "Maybe? Why?"

"I'm not sure I'm in the mood for fun."

"What if I changed your mind?"

Stefan thinks about it, and then looks down at her. "You can try, but I can't promise anything. And it might be a waste of your time."

Charlotte looks up at him, another smile in place on her light lips. "It's not like I don't have the time to try. It's better to try and to fail then to never know."

"Mmm." Stefan murmurs quietly, before raising his voice. "You're weirdly intelligent sometimes."

"Hey. That's a dick comment."

"A dick comment?" Stefan repeats, smirking. "And there goes any intelligence-"

"Hey." she nudges his elbow again. "Stop it, scrawny. I'll pin you to the pavement right now and put you in a head-lock."

"Mmm."

"What?" she asks, voice louder. "You don't think I could take you? I can totally take you. You know that. Don't you, scrawny?"

Stefan smiles to himself, amused by her words. "That's cute."

"Hey." Charlotte stops walking, and looks to Stefan. "None of that sweet talk. It doesn't work on me."

"Trust me, I'm not sweet talking you. I'm not a sweet talking guy."

"Oh come on." she rolls her eyes, and starts walking again. "That's the biggest lie that I've heard..Ever. _Ever_. As if you're not a sweet talking guy. You even look like one."

"How?" he asks, curious and slightly confused.

"You just do. It's the eyes. And the, you know, the look."

"The look?"

"Yeah." Charlotte nods. "Like you don't know what I'm talking about."

"I actually don't know what you're talking about." Stefan answers. "What look?"

Charlotte sighs dramatically, then shakes her head. "Here we go. Another ego boost."

"Come on, Charlotte. What look?" Stefan asks, impatient.

"That one you give. You know, the whole 'comforting' one."

"The comforting look?" he raises his eyebrows.

"Yes." she nods, looking at him. "What, has no one ever said that to you before?"

"No. Actually, no one ever has said that to me. Ever."

Charlotte pauses, considering this. "Well, maybe it's just me."

"Maybe it's because you're weird." Stefan answers light-heatedly.

"Maybe it's because there's something about you that I find comforting. Not because I'm weird, but because you're comforting in a way." Charlotte answers sharply, looking away from him. "Okay, jerk?"

"I know what you mean." Stefan says after a moment, when they're walking side by side again. "The comforting look. No one has ever said it to me before, but I've felt it before."

"With who?" she asks quietly.

Stefan takes a few minutes to answer. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"That's okay." Charlotte says, pausing. "I'm sorry for calling you a jerk again. You're actually not a jerk. You seem like you're a good guy, and you helped me with..You helped. So thanks for that, and I'm sorry. I'll pull back on the insults."

"I know you don't really mean them."

"You do?" she asks, frowning slightly

"Mhm. I do." Stefan answers, nodding slowly. "And besides, you make me laugh and I haven't...I didn't think I would be laughing, or that I deserved to."

"You deserve to laugh and be happy, Stefan."

"You don't know me." he responds, voice low again. "You don't know what I deserve, and what I don't deserve. Okay, Charlotte?"

"You're right, I don't know you. But I know you deserve to be happy."

"Maybe I do. Maybe I don't."

"Yeah." Charlotte answers, her light eyes meeting his once more. "Or maybe you do."

For a reason that Damon isn't entirely sure of, his fingers shake as he pulls out the crumpled photograph and opens it. His feet lead him towards the edge of the bed, as though they are too unsteady to hold him up any longer. He takes the photograph and opens it slowly, careful not to be too rough with it, he doesn't want to tear it and lose this memory.

Damon's eyes move from the faded corners of the photograph and towards the image of Johanna in it, standing beside and older, much different version of himself. His hands continue shake as he runs them over the image of them, of who they were before; he traces the sunlight, the colors, the smile on her lips, her hair. He stares at the image for a moment longer until it's burned into his memory again, so he'll never lose it, he can't lose it.

After taking a moment to look upon it once more, Damon folds the photograph in half and places it down on the nightstand. He is tempted to read for a drink but decides not to, not yet, not after the news they received today. They could find her, they could find her and bring her back, and he doesn't want to distract himself by drinking.

The pain and the guilt that Damon is feeling is consuming; it stays with him always, since her departure and before it, and he knows that there is nothing he can do to rid himself of it, not that he deserves for it to be gone. He deserves this, after what he did to her, and all that he put her through. The lies, the pain, the betrayal. Damon already knows that there is no forgiveness, not for him, not in this lifetime, and not with her, but he doesn't care because this isn't about him.

This is about Johanna and how they can do something right by her, how they can finally put her first, and save her, because she never should have been in this position in the first place. She never should have lost her humanity, and she shouldn't be sick, but she is and Damon knows they'll have to deal with it eventually, but right now his sole purpose is to find her and make sure that she's safe.

She needs to get her humanity back, she needs to feel again, because not feeling will destroy her, and he can't have that. He can't let that happen to her, not to someone else he loves, not to her. Damon clenches his jaw tightly at the thought of Johanna being out there alone, without humanity, without feeling. He thinks about it all the time, he thinks about her constantly, he just tries not to think about the worst situation that she could be in right now.

Alone. Scared. Not feeling anything. **Empty**.

Footsteps disturb Damon from his deep, dark thoughts and he is surprisingly relieved to find a momentary escape in Jeremy, who is now standing in the doorway of his room.

"Can I come in?"

Damon nods slowly, taking a few steps towards him. "What is it?"

Jeremy hesitates before closing the door and turning around to face Damon. He takes a step closer then stops, reconsidering it for a moment. "Matt just sent me a text. He and Rebekah are on their way, and she's got some blood bags for you."

"Vampire Barbie came through?" Damon asks, pausing. "Huh. I did not expect that, considering how she hates me and all."

"Yeah." Jeremy answers, voice flat, eyes vacant as he gives a small nod of his head in response, and then proceeds to avoid Damon's gaze.

Damon notices this immediately and sighs loudly. "What is it? Did I say something wrong? Should I not talk about your best-friends girlfriend like that?"

"What?" Jeremy's head snaps in his direction, then he stops, realizing it. "No, Matt and Rebekah – They aren't. They're not together."

"Are you sure?" Damon asks, disbelieving.

Jeremy nods, slowly, slightly uncertain still. "Yes."

"O-k. Then what is it?"

"Nothing."

Damon shakes his head, pointing a finger at Jeremy. "You're a bad liar. Just as bad as Elena. Spit it out. I have some things to take care of before we leave tomorrow morning, and you need to pack."

"Fine" Jeremy answers, moving to walk away. "I'll go back."

"Just say it. Okay? Whatever it is, just say it."

"I don't want to say it. I didn't want to."

A deeper frown begins to form on Damon's features and he falters, trying to make sense of what Jeremy has just said to him.

"What?" he ends up asking, voice rough, impatient almost. "What does that mean?"

Jeremy releases a deep sigh and lifts his hand to his forehead, running it through his slightly damp hair. He lets his hair fall back down by his side and looks up at Damon, still uncertain.

"I didn't want to tell you this, but I think that I should. I think that I should tell someone, because I don't want something to happen if I don't."

Damon shakes his head slowly, thinking over these words, repeating them in his mind for a moment until they make sense. His thirst for vampire blood is distracting enough, so he has to pay extra attention.

"What's going on? Come on, Jer. If this isn't serious then I don't want to hear it. We have enough to deal with right now."

Jeremy shrugs and raises his hands. "Forget it."

"Is it important?" Damon asks. "Because if it's important then just say it. Quit dancing around it and spit it out."

"Fine." Jeremy answers, a little too loudly. "It's about Samuel."

"Then no, it's not important." Damon answers, turning away. "Not important at all. Go find someone else who cares, because I do not-"

"He's using." Jeremy cuts across him, voice still loud but different, raw, almost insecure. Almost regretful.

Damon stops walking and freezes for a moment, before rigidly turning his body back in Jeremy's direction. He tilts his head to the right slightly, and raises his eyebrows slowly.

"What did you just say?"

"Sam is using. He has a pretty big stash in his bag. I didn't see all of it, but I know that he's using. His eyes are really red, like he's come off a bender. And he had some pills in his bag. I don't know what else he's on, but he's using and I thought..Since Martin is clean and all, and Johanna probably wouldn't want her dad relapsing..I thought you might want to know."

"Jeremy." Damon says slowly, speeding forward. He stops when he's directly in front of him and looks into his eyes. "Did you take anything?"

"What?" Jeremy frowns, not meeting his gaze.

Damon puts his hand on the back of Jeremy's neck and forces him to look up into his eyes. "Did you take anything?"

"No, I didn't-"

"I can compel you." Damon cuts across him angrily, his face holding a different expression, almost a look of concern. "I will compel you if-"

"I'm not lying, Damon. I'm clean. I didn't take anything."

"You better be clean." he drops his hand away, and steps back from him.

"I had the chance. Okay? I had the chance to, and I could have, but I didn't. I chose not to. I made that choice, and I'm standing by it."

"Good." Damon nods, taking a few steps back. "Good. Your life isn't so bad right now. Is it? Johanna's gone, but we'll find her. We'll get her back."

"You think that?" Jeremy calls out, watching him closely.

"Yes, I do. I have to think that we'll get her back or I have nothing."

"That's not true, Damon."

"Yes, it is, Jer."

Jeremy looks away from Damon, redirecting his eyes to the ground. He stares at his feet for a moment before speaking. "Bonnie and I broke up."

"What?" Damon asks, surprised, almost shocked. "You're kidding. Why?"

"I'm not kidding. Bonnie and..I talked with Johanna. About Anna and Vicki. About a lot of things, actually. She was good at that, talking. Listening. She helped me see things." Jeremy answers then stops suddenly, as though he's changed his mind. "But you don't want to know that, so I'll shut up."

"Jeremy, wait." Damon says, and waits until he's looking back at him to speak. "I didn't realize you could read minds now too. You don't know what I want to hear, and what I want to know. So keep talking, and if I want you to shut up at any point I'll say so. Okay?"

Damon opens his lips to say something but stops, giving a slight nod of his head, remaining silent and frozen where he stands only a few feet away from Jeremy.

"It was when we were staying at the lake-house. I talked with Johanna a few times there, and she helped. She said some things about you, about her..About her husband. Her ex husband. We talked for a while, and it really helped to put things in perspective."

"How?" he asks, voice usually quiet.

"I love Bonnie and I'll always love Bonnie. But I don't love her like I should." Jeremy answers, and his voice breaks on the words, they struggle to escape his lips, because as painful as they are he knows in his heart that they are true. "I can't be with someone when I can't stop dreaming about Anna. I dream of Vicki sometimes too. Both of them – They're still with me, Damon. They don't leave, not really, not forever. And I don't think it's fair for me to be with someone else right now, when I'm still dealing with these feelings. It's not fair on Bonnie and it's not fair on me."

Damon's eyes are widened when he speaks next. "Wow."

"What?" Jeremy asks, voice flatter.

"I guess I missed it."

"Missed what?" he asks, curious.

"You growing up." Damon says, then sighs. "I mean it. I guess I missed it when I was constantly treating you like a dick."

"Wow." Jeremy raises his eyebrows, disbelief slipping through his voice. "Damon Salvatore just admitted that he's a dick. I wish I could have recorded that."

A smile tugs on the corner of Damon's lips and he almost allows it to form. "And there you are, ruining that moment."

"I'm not ruining anything. That's you, you ruined it by being a dick." Jeremy answers, almost smiling back.

"Yeah." Damon nods, reflecting on these words as the almost smile vanishes from his lips in seconds. "I guess I do ruin things."

"Damon, no, that's not what I mean."

"Doesn't make it any less true."

"At the lake-house when Johanna spoke of her husband, she said that she loved him, and that she always would. But she also said that he wasn't _that_ love for her. You know what I mean? He wasn't _it_. She loved him with all of her heart, but she loved you in a way that she didn't even know she was capable of loving." Jeremy speaks loudly, voice honest, words comforting. "And I think that really shows what kind of person you are, how you're good, even if you don't see it, because she saw it and she still sees it. You just have to keep trying, Damon. Don't give up on her, and don't give up on yourself."

"Well, you say that..." Damon pauses, then looks back up at him, a darker look in his eyes. "But I know what I've done and what I have to live with it, and let's just say that it's a lot easier to give up on me than you think. I've already done it."

Jeremy shakes his head, silently surprised by how much those words hit him, and how much he wants to show Damon that it's not true. "That's not fair to you."

"No, it is. It's fair. What's not fair is lying and breaking someone else down, little by little, until they're forced to turn off their humanity. That's not fair. Not when her heart was so good, and so beautiful. I took it, and I blackened it. I broke it. That's not fair."

"Damon."

Damon shakes his head, and starts walking to the door. "The She-Bitch and Quarter-back are here. I'm hungry."

After leaving the room at a very quick speed, Damon arrives at the front door in moments and pulls open the door to see Rebekah's car pulling to a halt outside of the house. Damon walks down the stairs slowly, and in the distance he hears Jeremy and Martin walking down the stairs.

The sky outside is darkened, filled with a few stars that are unfocused to Damon, he doesn't pay them any attention. He looks away from the sky and down to Matt and Rebekah as they emerge from the vehicle, both carrying blood bags.

"These aren't all for you." Rebekah calls out. "I filled some for Johanna, and for Enzo. This is all you're getting. We're putting them in the freezer, and Martin is holding on to the key. He will give you your rations, and if you go over, if you binge, I've given Martin the authority to put you down."

Damon considers this for half a second before nodding, showing his agreement to this. "Fair enough."

"Thank you for this, Rebekah." Martin says quietly, reaching Damon's side.

"Yeah." Jeremy says, words coming out slightly stiff. "Thank you."

"We can't have hungry rippers going around the town, can we?" Rebekah looks briefly to her left, where Matt stands. She sighs quietly and looks back to the three men standing in front of her. "Even with most of the vampires gone for now, it's still too dangerous to risk."

"Johanna compelled me not to attack other vampires, so I can't." Damon admits, the words bringing with them memories he'd tried to forget.

"You haven't had vampire blood since then?" Rebekah asks, eyebrows slightly raised, head tilted back.

"No." Damon answers, his eyes settling on the blood bags in her hands.

Her lips curve into a small smile. "You must be going crazy."

"Why are you smiling?" Damon snaps, eyes narrowed in on her. "You're enjoying this?"

"Just a little bit."

"Well, here's a not so friendly reminder: Cedric compelled Johanna not to feed at all. So we need to find her before she goes crazy, and give her some of your blood." Damon says, then reaches to take the bags from Rebekah.

However Martin steps forward, taking them all instead. "I'll take these, I don't trust Damon with them. Thank you, Rebekah."

"I'll just – I'll put the rest of these inside." Matt says, and shares a brief look with Rebekah before turning away.

Damon watches as Matt follows Jeremy and Martin up the stairs and inside, and after listening to their footsteps fading away he looks back to Rebekah, who is watching him closely, almost expectantly.

"What, do you want a medal for giving me your blood?"

Rebekah rolls her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous."

"You want something." he responds, eyes narrowed at her in a suspicious way. "I can tell. You always want something."

"I want Johanna back." Rebekah admits, looking back to him. "That's what I want."

"Well, I'm working on that-"

"Maybe you are." she cuts across him, taking a step closer. "But you're sulking,and wallowing in self-pity, and it's a waste of time."

"I'm sure your trip to Venice won't be a waste of time-"

"Matt almost died." Rebekah answers, defensively. "He needs this, I thought you could see that."

"I can, okay? I do. I see it. But don't stand there and tell me I'm wasting time, when you're jetting off on your holiday. I get that he needs a break, he's just a kid and he was dead. I was there when he was a ghost, I get it. We all need a break. I'm not taking one, but maybe I am drinking too much. Maybe I am wallowing in self pity and hatred a little too much, but after what I did to her, I know that I deserve to hate myself. I don't pity myself, Rebekah. It's just hate. Only hate."

"Well, that's great, Damon. But it doesn't help Johanna, and it won't help the two of you when you get her back." Rebekah answers, then sighs. "Really, Damon. How do you think your relationship will work when you hate-"

"Our relationship?" Damon asks, then smiles sadly. "I'm going to be lucky if she ever talks to me again. I am not counting on our relationship ever being one again when we get her back, humanity or not. I'm doing this for her. Not for me. Not for us. It's for her."

"There you go. Pitying yourself again. You can do that all later, Damon. Do it when she's back, and she's okay. You keep talking about how she's your priority. She's what counts the most, so prove it."

Damon doesn't have a chance to respond to Rebekah's words because they are interrupted by Matt and Jeremy who return outside, and although he cannot verbally acknowledge that he understands what Rebekah is saying, he gives her a subtle nod and returns inside.

Their voices soon become background noises in the distance when Damon ventures back inside, hearing movement in the kitchen. He follows it and finds Martin pouring vampire blood into a glass, and measuring it. Damon freezes and his eyes remain locked on the blood spilling into the glass; he feels an uncontrollable, hot hunger inside of him, and he suddenly is reminded of the thirst he has not quenched in days, the thirst that he longs to be free of. His eyes move slowly, in an animalistic way, from the blood spilling into the glass to Martin holding the bag.

Martin stops pouring the contents of the bag into the glass and meets Damon's gaze, the expression on his face changing at the precise moment that Damon feels the veins spreading across his face, and flashes of red and black move across his eyes. One moment he's standing, his eyes locked with Martin, and the next he's finished off the contents of the blood bag and is swallowing what little was in the glass. Something comes crashing into Damon's side and he looks down, finding a small pocket knife wedged into his rib cage.

A rush of pain hits Damon and before a pair of hands fasten around his shoulder and he feels the bones being pulled back, so harshly and so quickly that they are broken. Damon releases a painful groan and drops the blood bag. He is thrown back against a wall and when his gaze clears he finds Martin holding him there, a gash on his cheek, a bruise on his forehead, and a knife in his hand, pressed to Damon's throat.

"Coated with vervain. Move and I cut you open."

The haze around Damon's head remains with him for a moment, the bright flashes of red and deep shades of black move across his eyes until he feels something inside of him stop. Something inside of Damon turns off, and he isn't hungry right now, his thirst is quenched for the moment – the thirst remains, it always remains, but he can put it aside for now.

"Are you done being an idiot?" Martin asks, still holding him in place against the wall.

"Am I ever really-"

"Damon."

"Yes." Damon groans, and stands up straighter, only to be reminded of the knife in his side.

Martin grabs the blade and pulls it out of Damon's side without warning him. He wipes the blood off and shoves it away, along with the other knife. When Damon looks back at Martin his eyes are clearer, and he looks around the sleek kitchen. There's blood all over the floor – one of the bags burst – and shattered glasses. Damon doesn't remember doing that, but when he looks up to Martin he knows that this is his doing, and the fresh cut and bruise on Martin's face is also his fault. His eyes skim over Martin, lingering on the wound, and he feels an undeniable amount of guilt pass through him.

"Not your fault." Martin answers, as if he knows what Damon is feeling, the guilt that he momentarily feels. "It's the ripper. Not you."

"Funny. I once said the same thing to my brother." Damon answers, and upon noticing the confusion that darts across Martin's face, he explains. "He was a ripper too. Not genetically modified one. His was a result of having his humanity off."

Martin looks away, then back to Damon. "Why'd he turn it off?"

Damon answers hesitantly. "For me. I mean..I was dying. I needed a cure, and that was how he got it."

"Sounds like Stefan would do a lot for you."

"Don't." Damon snaps, holding his hand out to him. He shakes his head, eyes dangerous. "Don't try to talk him up, when he's not anywhere to be found now. You don't know him, and you don't - You don't know anything about this, Martin, so don't do it."

"I'm not trying to talk him up, Damon. I'm saying-"

"Well don't. Don't say it." he answers harshly. "Did you have brothers?"

"That doesn't matter." Martin shakes his head. "I don't see how it matters."

"I guess it doesn't. But if you did, if you had a brother that you – If you had a brother who abandoned you, when you needed him more than you had ever needed him before, what would you do? Would you hate him, Martin? Would you hold that against him, or would you be weak and forgive him?"

"There is no weakness in forgiveness." Martin answers, voice strong. "Only strength."

"I don't care if forgiving is weak or strong. I don't care. I begged him to stay and help me, and he got out of here as fast as he could. He didn't care about me. So now? I don't care about him. Now he's not my brother anymore. He's just someone else that I've lost."

"That's not true, Damon."

"Your a weak old man." Damon snaps back, hissing the words. "What would you know?"

After staring at Martin for a moment, Damon turns away slowly, almost regretfully, because he knows that there is nothing he can do now. The words have already escaped his lips, regardless of whether he meant them or not, and he can't take them back, so he leaves and tries to escape it. Damon leaves and decides on returning to his bedroom, to hopefully find an escape from all of this, but on his journey upstairs something else catches his attention.

He hears movement coming from the room that he knows Sam is staying in right now, and as he hears it the words Jeremy had told him earlier return to him, and somehow he moves from the stairs to the door of Sam's room. The room is empty when Damon enters it, opening the door without knocking. His eyes skim the room briefly, darting towards the door to the bathroom that opens a second later. Sam emerges, a frown on his face at the sight of Damon.

"Did something happen?" Sam asks.

A moment of still silence passes, before Damon speeds forward and grabs Sam by the throat, slamming him back against the wall. He keeps him there, the strength from the vampire blood he'd consumed moments ago fueling his rage.

"Using around an addict in recovery? Nice. That's real considerate of you." Damon growls angrily, pressing him against the wall harder.

"What the hell-"

"You know what I'm talking about. Jeremy and I had a really good talk. He said he saw a bunch of pills in your bag." Damon answers, pressing force against his throat. "What are you on?"

Sam scoffs, staring at Damon with disbelief. "Not your concern, asshole."

"Oh, I'm the asshole?"

"Yeah. You're the asshole covered in blood. Let me guess, it's not yours?" Sam asks, then shoves Damon back a step. He breathes out a small sigh once he has broken free and looks up again. "You're the asshole that broke Johanna, and made her turn off her humanity. You turned her in the first place. Didn't you? So, yes, Damon. You are the asshole."

"Does Martin know you're taking this shit? I'm guessing that's a no. What do you think he'd say if he knew? What do you think you'd do if I flushed it all? Would you try and kill me?" Damon asks, taking a dangerous step closer. "Because I'd like that. I am just looking for the right excuse to kill you. So go on, give me one."

"Keep trying, Damon. Keep pushing everyone away. Keep hurting the people that stay around you. One day they'll leave, and you'll be bitter and lonely, and you'll realize that you were the one who made that decision. You were the one who messed up."

"You get rid of that stuff, or I will."

"Why do you care?"

"Jeremy used to..." Damon stops. "I don't care. Jeremy and Martin, they might care. They're clean, you're not. You think that's a good environment?"

"Oh, fuck." Sam laughs, rubbing at his neck. "You really can't see it? Your unstable, Damon. Emotionally. Mentally. And with this ripper shit that's going on with you, you're physically unstable. This isn't a good environment for anyone. But there are still people here, there are still people that care about you. I have no idea why the hell that is, because you are just..You are not worth the pain and the grief that seems to come with caring about you. You're not worth it at all."

Damon darts forward and grabs Samuel by the throat, smashing him back against the wall. He grabs his arm and forces it back as much as he can, until he hears the bone crack, then he sets his teeth on Sam's neck and tears open the flesh. Samuel struggles beneath Damon's hold, unable to fight off the ripper strength that Damon holds. He digs into his neck deeper, ignoring Sam, and his struggle to break free.

A pair of hands grab Damon from behind and throw him back, and when he looks up he finds Jeremy standing there, a furious look on his face mixed with disbelief. Jeremy looks from Damon to Sam, who slides down the wall he was leaning against and clutches his arm. Sam flinches back when Jeremy steps closer, and he shuts his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall.

"What the hell happened here?" Jeremy asks, but looks to Damon, hoping he will answer the question. "Why did you do that?"

"Because he's a coward." Sam answers, eyes still shut, the pain slipping through his voice.

Slowly Damon pulls himself to his feet, the fresh blood still running down his chin. He lifts his hand to his face and wipes the blood on to the back of his palm, eventually meeting Jeremy's heavy gaze.

"What do you want from me?" Damon asks, breathing heavy, voice significantly lower. "You want me to have this big change? You want me to be the good guy? Well I'm sorry to disappoint you all, but I'm not that guy. And I never will be."

Jeremy opens his mouth to respond but decides against it, and Damon stares at him one last time before turning away, retreating to he silence of his room, leaving a mess of blood and broken bones behind him.

* * *

**A/N: **Hi all! Here's chapter nine, I hope you like it. This is mostly a Charlotte & Stefan chapter, with a little bit of the group back in Mystic Falls at the end. It's an important chapter, and you'll learn why in a little bit. I'll be updating chapter ten pretty soon, because I'm actually happy with where the story is going and how it's progressing. I've got some more free time over the next few days, and writing makes me feel happy, so I'll be trying to do as much as I can and maybe get back to updating two or three times a week. Anyway, please let me know your thoughts on this chapter. Feedback of any kind is great. I'd also love to know if you had any ideas or thoughts about where this might go, or anything you'd want to see..It's always great hearing back from you guys, and know that you're still enjoying this.

So, send me a message or leave a comment letting me know your thoughts if you like. Oh and I forgot to mention in the last review that I've updated the tumblr page - It's the same link, on my page. I just fixed it up a little bit. So check it out if you like. Thanks for the new follows & faves. Thanks also to** Paigetvdspn & Adela** for your reviews, as always they are appreciated.

**Adela - chapter 8:** I'm glad that you liked it, and I hope you like the new one. There will be lots of bonding on the road trip! And Stefan will eventually be back, that's all I'll say about that. Thank you for being an awesome & supportive reader. Enjoy.

**x**


	10. That's Life

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampires Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

Stefan's eyes wander away from Charlotte who is leaning against the bar, ordering something for the two of them. He looks at the jukebox in the corner of the room, where there are a bunch of people hanging around it, leaning on it or on each other. Their hands and lips tangled together. He looks away from that, and his eyes skim the room quickly; it's a small bar, dimly lit, with uneven rows of tables and chairs that are never the same shape or build, the only consistency is that they're all wooden.

The bar is long and curves around at both ends, and on it sits empty and filled glasses. Behind the bar on a glass shelf there are rows of bottles and glasses, some filled, some almost empty. The entire place is smoky and damp, but has an unusual cozy feeling about it and Stefan isn't entirely sure why this is. His eyes shift back towards the bar where Charlotte was, and he finds her walking towards him. She gestures towards tall circular tables that stand a few feet away from them.

"Beer okay?" Charlotte asks, holding up the bottles of beer.

Stefan nods and moves to the large bar-stool, sitting down on it. "Beer's great, thank you. I'll buy the next round."

"There'll be a next round?" she asks, plopping down in her seat and crossing her legs. Charlotte looks up at Stefan and gives him a half-smile. "Well aren't you presumptuous."

"I'm not – No. That's not what I meant, not at all."

"Oh, really?" she looks up, raising her eyebrows.

Stefan nods, swallowing thickly. He glances away from her then back to her, uncertain. "Yes, really. I mean, not that you're not...I'll stop now."

"No, I get it. I do. I didn't mean it how you're thinking, so you don't have to freak out, Stefan. It's fine. We're both adults here."

"Are we?" he asks, fighting a smile.

Charlotte smiles even more, pausing before she drinks a mouthful of beer. "How old do you think I am?"

"I don't know. How old are you?"

"I just turned twenty four." she answers, placing her beer down on the table.

"Happy Birthday." Stefan says, raising his drink to her before swallowing a large mouthful. "When was your birthday?"

"It was two days ago."

Stefan looks up immediately. "Wait. On that – When you were..No. You spent your birthday with me, in the grass."

Charlotte nods, leaning against the table, her elbows pressing against the edge of it. "Yeah. So?"

"No, nothing. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just..I thought you'd have something better to do." he admits, watching her quietly when he finishes speaking.

She gives a shrug of her shoulders and swallows some more beer. "I don't have parties. I don't really celebrate it. We never really did. It's not a big deal."

"I guess not."

"Do you celebrate your birthday?"

"Not always." Stefan answers, after a long moment of considering the question. His voice is softer, more regretful when he speaks. "This year I celebrated my birthday with a friend. Her birthday was..Right before mine."

Charlotte nods slowly, a small smile returning to her lips. "Sounds fun."

"Mmm." he murmurs, staring off into the distance before looking up to reconnect his eyes with hers.

"So, are you hungry?"

"Yeah, I guess. What are we having?" Stefan asks, eyes still set on her.

"I ordered some fries. You like them?"

"Sure." Stefan answers, pausing. "Can I ask you a question, Charlotte?"

"Only if it's a personal one that's intrusive." she finishes with a smile, leaning back against her chair a little.

"Why don't you celebrate birthdays?"

"I don't know. Some families are different. Mine never did. Well I used to celebrate it, with my brother. We'd eat a lot of ice-cream that day. Buy presents just for each other. Or make them." she answers, nervously staring off for a moment, a small smile beginning to form on her lips. Charlotte smiles off, her eyes staring off in the distance, in a memory, for a while. "Like one year, I got him so many books that I thought he'd never read them all but he did. He thought I'd stolen them all, he made me swear I hadn't. I didn't steal them. I just saved up to buy them for him. Yeah, he liked reading."

"He doesn't read anymore?"

"No, he does. He works in a bookstore. He reads a lot."

Stefan continues to watch her, silently observing her, the way that she's smiling faintly, smiling at a memory. "Do you?"

"Sure." Charlotte answers softly, and looks back up at him. "When I have the time I like to read a lot."

"What did he get you? Your brother, I mean. For your birthdays."

"Uhh..Just, you know. Little things. A charm bracelet. Small stuff. Flowers."

Stefan nods slowly. "That's nice."

Charlotte fixes her eyes on Stefan and smiles. "Did your brother get you charm bracelets for your birthday too?"

"Oh, yes." Stefan answers, face remaining somewhat serious. "Of course he did. Every year. Charm bracelets. And so many flowers."

Charlotte watches as the smile spreads across Stefan's lips, and she leans in closer. "What are you smiling at?"

"I'm imagining my brother picking flowers, and bringing them to me." he says, grinning more. "He's not really the flower picking kind of guy. And charm bracelets – No, definitely not."

"What's he like? What's Damon Salvatore like?"

"He's the older one."

She smiles and lightly kicks his knee. "Not what I asked, Mr-I-like-To-Avoid-Things. Come on, don't avoid it. Don't be an avoider. Don't be that guy. I want to know something about your brother, so tell me."

"He's tall."

Charlotte's smile falters, and is replaced with an unimpressed look on her face. "Really? That's all? That's all you're giving me?"

Stefan leans his elbows against the table and picks up his beer, hesitating before answering. "He's moody."

"Ohh." she sighs, nodding. "That explains it. Wait, let me guess: Tall, dark, handsome and moody."

Stefan nods, swallowing a mouthful of beer before speaking. "That's what they say."

"Is he as handsome as you?"

For a moment Stefan seems like he might answer but instead he ends up finishing off his beer, and looking up at her, remaining entirely silent.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it awkward."

Stefan shakes his head, forcing an awkward smile. "No, it's fine. I just came out of something. I came out of a relationship recently."

"Right." Charlotte nods and bites down on her bottom lip.

He picks up on an emotion darting across her face, and continues to watch her closely, studying her eyes, her face, the way her lips are pressed together. "What is it?" Stefan asks quietly, after a minute.

"No, it's nothing. It's fine. I'm not trying to – This is just us talking. Not as friends, because you didn't want friends. This is us just talking."

He leans back against the chair and looks away from her for a moment, before slowly looking back. "We could be friends, if things were different. But I meant it when I said I didn't come here to be friends. I was serious, Charlotte. Don't get me wrong, okay? You're nice, and you're funny-"

"Oh god." Charlotte pulls a face, leaning back, away from him. "How can you be giving me the speech now?"

"I'm not giving you the speech, or any speech, Charlotte. I'm being honest."

"Right." she nods, reaching for her bag. "I'll just-"

"Charlotte, wait." he reaches out, setting a hand on hers. "Just listen to me."

"There's nothing to hear, Stefan. I'm nice, but you're unavailable to be my friend or more, when I never wanted more. I wanted beers, and fries, and a good conversation with a nice guy."

Stefan releases a sigh and stands when Charlotte does, looking down at her. "Please, listen to me. Let me explain this properly, okay? Because I don't want to hurt you. I'm not in a good place. I'm not here to make friends, because I don't deserve friends."

"You're kidding-"

"I'm not kidding. I'm not. I don't deserve friends. I am not in a good place right now. This is me being honest with you, because you seem like a good person, and I don't want you to be hurt because you think there's something wrong with you. There's not. Nothing at all. I just don't deserve friends."

She looks up at him, placing her hand on her hip. "Why?"

"What?" he replies, brow slightly furrowed.

"Tell me why, and not just because you let your brother down. Because what you did can't have been _that_ bad that you honestly believe you don't deserve friends."

"I don't-"

"I don't care." Charlotte answers, cutting across him, her voice much firmer. "I don't care what you did, or that you think you don't deserve friends because of it. You know why I don't, Stefan? Because I'm sitting with you right now, and I see you, and I want to be your friend. And you don't want to be my friend? Well tough shit, Stefan. Yeah, I just said tough shit. You can make fun of me later. I say weird, aggressive curses sometimes when I'm angry and I am angry, because you're an idiot for thinking you don't deserve a friend. Now I am going to the bathroom. When I return, you're going to be my friend. And you're going to stop being an idiot and get us both another beer. It's that simple."

Soon after the words sink in Stefan notices that Charlotte has turned away and is now walking towards the bathroom, in the far left corner of the room. He keeps his eyes on her for a moment, and only once she's disappeared from his sight does he realize he's smiling. He's actually smiling at her, at her words, and the power of them, and something inside of Stefan feels different. He almost feels better. After paying for two more beers at the bar, Stefan returns to the tables and removes the lids off both. He drinks a mouthful from his and looks up to find Charlotte walking towards him, a small smile appearing on her lips when she meets his gaze.

"Hi, friend." she calls out, sitting down on the bar stool across from him.

Stefan slides her beer across the table. "Hi, friend."

"Can you play darts?" she asks curiously, crossing her legs again.

"Uh, yes. I can. Why?" Stefan asks, sitting up a little straighter. Are you challenging me?"

She gives a light shrug of her shoulders, looking up at him. "What if I am?"

"I'd ask what we were playing for."

"A round of drinks?" Charlotte suggests, eating some fries. "We can play darts or pool. Whatever you want."

"No, darts – That's good. And the drinks..That's a good prize." Stefan says, then looks behind Charlotte. "Looks like we've got a bowl of fries coming our way."

"Yes! Finally. I'm starving. I haven't eaten since breakfast."

Once the bowl of fries arrives, Charlotte picks one up and begins to chew on it, watching as Stefan does the same. They eat silently for a moment, before Charlotte breaks it, drinking some beer to clear her throat.

"I saw you looking at my arms." she says quietly, looking up at him. "I know you were thinking about my wrist, or my shoulder, or whatever. Well, I thought you'd like to know that my wrist is fine, it's all healed now. My shoulder is too."

Stefan meets her gaze and nods, eating a few more fries before speaking. "You're a fast healer, Charlotte."

"I guess I am." she answers, stopping to drink some beer. "I wanted you to know that so you didn't think you were up against a weaker opponent."

"You could take me. You're strong, and I'm scrawny." he says, adding a small smile at the end.

"I know." she grins, chewing on a fry. "I'm actually not clumsy, or whatever. I used to dance when I was younger. Ballet."

"Really?" Stefan asks, pausing. "That's nice. Why'd you stop?"

"Money. Time. Oh and when I was ten I broke my ankle." Charlotte replies casually. "I fell out of a tree or something. I don't really remember. I was ten."

"You don't dance anymore?"

Charlotte shakes her head briefly, her voice a little quieter when she speaks again. "No, not since then."

"That's a shame."

"Ehh." Charlotte shrugs, drinking more beer. "I wasn't very good anyway."

"That's okay then. You're not missing out on anything then." Stefan answers, pausing. "And just so you know, I don't think you're clumsy. You're a very talented waitress, and I don't say that with any sarcasm. I've seen you carrying all those plates and glasses at once. It takes a lot of skill."

"I've been doing it for..Oh, eight years now."

"Wow." he looks up, surprised. "Eight years?"

Charlotte nods, her voice a little flatter, as though she's just realized how long it's been. "Yeah, eight years. Started when I was sixteen."

"That's a long time. You must really like it."

"I don't. I had to work, because my..Uh, Steven couldn't work. He can't work now, so someone needs to bring home the money."

"Who's Steven? Your father?" Stefan asks quietly, looking away, down at the fries. He looks up at her from time to time, but doesn't want to stare at her directly while she's talking, because she sounds uncomfortable already.

"Yes. My father. My brother Jason is my half-brother. We share the same mother, not father."

"Why doesn't Steven work?" he asks, voice still quiet, laced with a hidden concern.

"He has a lot of injuries. Illnesses. And stuff. But let's not talk about that. Let's get back to you complimenting me about my skills as a waitress." Charlotte says, ending with a smile.

Stefan looks up and catches the smile, then nods. "I was saying you weren't clumsy."

"I'm not, I just hurt myself sometimes." she answers. "It's no big deal."

"You mean apart from the injured shoulder and arm, and the broken ankle at nine years old, you've hurt yourself before?"

"Yeah. Accidents seem to happen around me. Well, not always. But sometimes they do, I guess.." Charlotte stops, and presses her lips together for a moment, before finally speaking. "I guess I've just been unlucky in the past. That's all."

"Tell me one time." Stefan answers casually, drinking some more beer.

"You want to hear another story about me?"

"Sure." he gives a brief nod of his head. "You're pretty interesting."

"That's sweet." Charlotte smiles, giving him a look.

Stefan smiles a little, shaking his head slightly. "Are you going to tell me or not?"

"Okay." she answers, pausing as she takes a larger sip of beer. "When I was twenty I had to get stitches. It's a long story, but here..."

Stefan remains silent as Charlotte reaches out and takes his hand, moving it back, to the side of her hand. She places his hand against her head, and wriggles her fingers around to find the lump she's talking about. Once she's found it she guides her hand to the spot, allowing his fingers to press against the lump.

"You can still feel it. See?"

"Wow." Stefan says, voice much quieter than he'd intended for it to be. "You're right, I can feel that. How many stitches did you have to get?"

"Fifteen."

"Wow." he says, and is silent for a while, his hand still underneath hers, still settled on her hand. "What happened?"

"It's a long story. I don't really mind having the lump there now, it reminds me of what I went through and how I've changed."

Stefan's eyes move from hers and back to where his hand rests in her hair, his fingers still resting on the scar. He is gentle and very careful as he moves his hand down the spot where the stitches were, feeling the scar. She smiles a little at him when he looks at her, and begins to draw his hand away from her head, but before he removes his hand entirely Stefan does something else. He notices that some of Charlotte's hair has fallen in her face, not her fringe, the longer strands, so he reaches out with his hand and brushes the hair back off of her face.

Stefan looks to Charlotte as he brushes back the hair, noticing the small smile on her face faltering ever so slightly, before widening, becoming fuller, filled with a little more light. There's also an insecurity there, something she works well at hiding. He tucks the hair back off of her face, and touches her cheek lightly, his eyes able to see the very light, faded scar near her hairline.

"I don't remember how I got that one." she admits quietly, her gaze locked with him. "I was really young when it happened."

Stefan nods slowly, not forming words, his hand still resting against her cheek. He keeps it there for a moment before taking it away, setting it down on the table. She catches his hand with hers briefly, holding it, and instead of speaking she simply smiles.

"It doesn't look bad. None of them do."

Charlotte smiles a little. "That's nice. Thanks."

A small smile forms on his lips in response and Stefan nods his head, before they pull their hands apart. Stefan reaches for his beer at the same time Charlotte picks up a fry, and for a moment they're silent, but the moment passes and things become comfortable again. Charlotte makes him laugh again, and then she laughs at him, which brings a smile to his lips, and for the first time in a long time Stefan feels something good.

And he continues to feel good throughout the night, which goes so slowly that he forgets about his guilt and his grief, and he forgets about it all except for Charlotte, and her glowing smile, her infectious laugh, and her kind words. He forgets the bad things when he's with her, all of the things he didn't think he'd be able to ever forget, and he feels something different. Something good, and happy, and light, and it's a nice change.

Stefan can see that something is different with Charlotte too; she's happier, and smiling more, and she seems incredibly relaxed and peaceful, and he likes it, he likes seeing her happy, because he doesn't feel like he's seen her happy until tonight. And he doesn't know why he cares, why he wants her to be happy, or to smile, but he does, and he can't explain it. Right now Stefan doesn't need an explanation, he just needs to be around her, and he doesn't fight it. They spend the rest of the night at the bar, playing darts, drinking, laughing, Stefan buying rounds of drink after he loses the dart games and Charlotte wins, voicing this win loudly and throwing her hands up triumphantly in the air. He congratulates her and they buy more drinks, enjoying the music and each other's company for a little while.

* * *

A small groan escapes through Sam's lips as he pulls himself up from the ground, knocking away Jeremy's offer of help with his uninjured arm. He leans against the wall once he's on his feet again and opens his eyes, breathing labored, slow breaths of air.

"What happened?" Jeremy asks, for what feels like the seventh time.

"We had a good conversation and hugged it out." Sam responds, voice impatient, fast. "What do you think happened, Jeremy?"

"I don't know what happened. One minute I'm-"

"Telling Damon about my stash." Sam cuts across him, groaning quietly after.

He pushes himself off of the wall he'd been leaning against and walks forward, still cradling his left arm with his left. Blood continues to flow down heavily from the fresh gash on his neck, and there are already dark bruises forming rings around his neck, from where Damon had held him.

"Yeah, apparently it's a stash. He was going to flush it, and he told me to give him a reason to kill him. So thank you for that, Jeremy. Thank you for proving to me that I can trust you."

"I was trying to look out for you and for Martin."

"No. You were running to Damon to give him something to do, because you know this – This separation from Johanna is making him incredibly intolerable and vicious. You wanted him to thank you and give you a reward, or something fucked up like that to make you feel better about yourself."

"That's not what I was doing, and you know that. I was trying to look out for Martin, because Johanna would want me to. And as much as I seemed okay about you have those – I wasn't okay. I wasn't. I'm not okay around that stuff. I'm stronger, but I'm not as strong as I would like to be."

"That's not my problem or my fault. That's your problem. It's your own fault." Sam answers, stopping to release another, quiet groan. "And _this_? I don't think this would have happened if you hadn't gone crying to Daddy Damon."

"I didn't go crying to Damon. I don't care if you can't see my reasons for what I did. I really don't care. I was going to stay around and help you. You know that? I was going to help you put your arm back in to place, and help you clean up that wound, but now I don't think I will. You're ungrateful-"

"You can go do whatever it is you do, now. Go on. You don't have to stay here. You don't have to help me. I'm bleeding but I'll patch it up. My shoulder is dislocated, but I'll put it back in. I don't need your help, because I'd almost certainly just be ungrateful for it."

Jeremy stares at Sam for a minute before he turns away, moving to the door, but something stops him from leaving and he looks back to where Sam once stood. He's not there anymore, he's walking towards the bathroom, if you can call it walking. It's more of a limp. A voice comes from behind Jeremy and he spins around, finding Lexi leaning in the doorway, her eyebrows raised and an unimpressed look on her face.

"Damon's still got it."

"What?" Jeremy asks, frowning. "Lexi? How did – I don't understand."

She pushes herself off the door-frame and takes a few steps towards Jeremy, arms crossed. "Damon still knows how to mess everything up for himself and everyone else, and then leave them to deal with the mess."

"What – What are you even doing here, Lexi? I wasn't thinking about you."

"Yes, you were. You were thinking about Johanna, which made you think of Alaric, which eventually led to you thinking of me. You must have been thinking about whether I'd come into contact with him. Well, I'm haven't been. I haven't seen him since...The last time we were here together. When we were here at the Boarding House when the veil went down. Stefan and Damon were here. That was the last time."

"That was a few days ago, Lexi. You haven't seen him since?"

"No." she answers with a brief shake of her head. "I thought you'd like to know that, although I don't know what good that information will do you since there's absolutely nothing you can do about it."

Jeremy falters, his eyes darting to the floor before back to Lexi. He shakes his head, opening his lips to speak but at first nothing comes out, and when the words finally escape his lips they're quieter.

"What are you saying, Lexi? Are you saying that he passed over? Ric passed over? He's gone from the Other Side?"

"I don't know, Jeremy."

"He had unfinished business. He can't be gone."

Lexi sighs, a sympathetic look briefly darting across her features. "Well, considering his unfinished business was Damon and Johanna, and then all of you..It was always going to be unfinished business. Wasn't it? Damon's never going to get himself together, not when he's acting out like this and pushing everyone away. Don't let him do that."

"I don't know what else to do." Jeremy answers, almost sounding defeated.

"Just don't let him push you away. Okay?" Lexi answers, moving until she's standing right in front of him. "I know that he wants you to think he doesn't care, but he does. He cares a lot. And you know that's the truth coming from me, considering how well we don't get along."

"I haven't seen Stefan, no one has. We haven't heard from him either. He hasn't answered any messages or calls."

"Are you tracking him?"

Jeremy nods quickly, his voice still low when he speaks. "Liz tried to, but she's got other important things to do. She said that Stefan left willingly, and while she'll look into it, she's busy."

"What about Damon? Is he looking?"

"Not for Stefan. He's only looking for Johanna. We had some luck, I guess. We're leaving tomorrow. Meredith is going to stay in the house, keep a look over it and over Enzo. We're going to Boston in the morning."

Lexi nods, eyes skimming briefly over the room they're standing in before she looks back to him. "Martin and Samuel are coming with you. Aren't they? What's going on there?"

"What? Nothing. I just.."

"You told Damon about Sam's stash, I know. I was there when Sam asked you about it, you just didn't see me until you looked at the door."

"You saw.." Jeremy stops, trailing off briefly. "You saw what happened between the two of them?"

"They lashed out at each other. As hard as it is for me to say that, it isn't just Damon's fault." Lexi answers, her voice a little louder. "Sam said that Damon was mentally and physically unstable. He poked the bear, Jeremy. He said that Damon wasn't worth the pain that comes with being around him. I'm not completely disagreeing with the guy. He has a point, but I know that Damon is trying to change. Trying to change isn't the same thing as changing, Damon needs to realize that."

Jeremy shakes his head slowly, cutting across her. "It's been really hard for him, Lexi. All of this. He's trying, okay? He is. That means something. I know he's a dick most of the time, but at least he stuck around. At least he's trying to fix what he did."

"Did you stop and think that maybe if he had just told Johanna the truth, then the situation wouldn't be as bad as it is? It's hard for Damon, I see that. But this is what he did. This is what you all did by lying. I'm not going to lie to you or sugar-coat anything, Jeremy. You screwed up. All of you." Lexi answers, pausing for a moment as she walks closer. "Not you, not that bad. But Damon has a lot to make up for, and a lot to feel guilty for. Don't feel too guilty for him just because he's sad all the time. Stop and imagine how or where Johanna is, because of all this, and then realize that is more important with how badly Damon thinks of himself. Damon thinks badly of himself because he is a bad person at times. He knows that, he just ignores it until he can't, and right now he can't ignore it. Think about Johanna; She has her humanity off. She's sick, and she's alone. Find her. Then focus on Damon."

"I'm not..." Jeremy stops, breathing out a small sigh. He lifts his hands to his forehead and rubs at his face, before eventually looking up again. "You're right, okay? I get what you're saying, and I know most of what you've said is right. But Damon matters too. I know he screwed up, we all did, but he still matters. He's still important even if everyone else thinks he isn't."

"I know that." Lexi answers after a moment, an approving smile spreading across her lips. "I just wanted to make sure you did too."

"Wait." he stops and frowns, tilting his head slightly to the side. "What? You tricked me?"

She nods, the small smile breaking out into a wider one. "I had to make sure you were looking out for Damon. I wanted to know you saw that he was trying too, and that he had at least you on his side."

"Why? You don't like him. You don't care."

"I care about Stefan, and he cares about Damon. That's why I care. Someone has to be looking out for Damon while Stefan and Johanna aren't here, and everyone else is gone. You can do it, I know you can. You're stronger than you think. And while you're looking over Damon I'll be looking out for you. It's not like I have anything else to do. I'm pretty sure my unfinished business is Stefan, and that's not going to be resolved until this is. You can help Damon. You can do this and look out for him. Like I said, you're stronger than you think."

Jeremy looks away briefly, only for a half a second, and when he looks back at her there is a sadder expression upon his features, a doubtful one.

"I don't know that I am." he admits quietly. "I want to be, but I don't know how strong I am. And I honestly don't think that I'm the person that can help Damon. He doesn't even like me most of the time."

"Yes, he does. He's just a dick and he doesn't know how to show it." Lexi sighs. "You're a good person, Jeremy. I wish we could have had the chance to be friends, I think I would've liked you."

Jeremy almost smiles at this. "We're friends now, aren't we? I know it's not normal-"

"Nothing has ever been normal, kid." she answers, smiling back. "You just thought it was."

"I guess you're right about that." Jeremy answers with a half-smile and a nod of his head.

"So, as your friend..." Lexi pauses, the smile remaining on her lips. "Can you do two things for me?"

"Sure. What do you need?"

"The first thing – I need you to go in and take care of your friend Samuel."

Jeremy's expression falls flat and he sighs. "What? He's not-"

Lexi grins, raising her eyebrows in a suggestive way. "Yes, he is your friend."

"No, he's not. I don't know anything about him, and I don't trust him."

"Okay, so he's not your friend. But he needs some help." she answers. "Do I really need to look out for all of you? I'm busy enough looking after the others, and trying to figure out where Alaric is so you can get him to help Damon. You might need him when Johanna gets back. Samuel and Martin are helping you. And Martin's doing it because Johanna is his daughter, and some bonds can never be broken. Samuel doesn't have to stay around, he doesn't have to help, or put up with Damon's erratic mood swings, but he does. He's putting up with it, and he got hurt in the process. So, why don't you help him? He needs it."

After considering it for a moment, Jeremy nods at Lexi and releases a deep sigh. He looks away from her and towards the bathroom, where he can faintly hear the sound of water running. He looks back to Lexi.

"What's the second thing you needed?" he asks quietly, knowing that he's probably going to agree to this too.

Lexi's smile falters before fading away entirely. "Can you send a message to Stefan?"

"I already have. I told you, I sent him one-"

"From me."

Jeremy pauses before giving a final nod of his head. "Okay, I can do that. What do you want me to say?"

After more beer, and shots, and vodka, and some other concoction that Charlotte asks the bartender to mix up, they find themselves being asked to leave the bar at closing time – three in the morning.

Charlotte stumbles out first, clutching on to her purse as she suppresses another laugh. Stefan comes out after her a moment later, a smile on his lips as he joins her side and they look around, the darkened street a little lighter than they'd expected it to be. It's almost completely silent outside, and the streets are empty and dark.

Stefan looks down to Charlotte who glances up at him a moment later, smiling. "You feel like walking?"

"Okay. What else is there to do at three in the morning?" Stefan asks, the hint of a smile on his face.

She shrugs, looking at him with a wider smile on her lips. "A few things. But walking is good."

"What are these things?" Stefan asks, undeniably curious.

"They're..Things. Just things. Okay? Things you wouldn't want to do. You – It doesn't matter."

"Okay." Stefan nods, joining her side. "Wait, are we go – This isn't right."

"No, it's the wrong way. You're right. We go left – Yes. Sorry." she mumbles, smiling as she bumps into his shoulder.

Stefan looks down at Charlotte and notices that she's shivering. He sighs and begins to remove his jacket, passing it to her. "Here, put this on. You're shivering."

"Okay." she answers, taking it and trying to pull it on, but she can't get her arm through the sleeve properly.

"I'll do it. Let me." Stefan says, knocking her hand out of the way.

He is careful as he helps her into the jacket, moving to stand in front of her and zip it up. Charlotte pulls her hair out of the jacket and brushes it back over her shoulders, leaving only her fringe out, falling down as it usually does. "How's it – It looks okay. Does it? How's it look? As good on me as it does on you?"

Stefan looks over her briefly before they start walking again. "It looks – I mean, it looks okay. You don't look half bad, Charlotte."

Charlotte smiles sleepily, a smile returning to her lips. "That's the nicest thing I've ever heard."

"That's not – That's not fair. You should get..Nice things. Said about you."

She bumps his shoulder again. "That's nice too. You're a nice guy, Stefan."

"Not..Not always. I'm not." he answers, looking down at her. He stares at her for a moment before speaking. "You remind me of..Somebody. Yeah. You do."

"Who?"

"I don't know." Stefan admits, looking at the path in front of them. "I can't see it clearly, but there's something about you that reminds me of something..Or someone. It feels comfortable, kind of. I don't know. You have that kind of face."

"Please." Charlotte scoffs. "Don't use that on me. That's my line."

A light, unexpected laugh escapes through Stefan's lips and he shakes his head, rethinking her words. "That's not your line."

"I called you comforting before. Didn't I?"

"Mmm." he nods, looking away from her.

"Thanks for your jacket. I just forgot mine. I was eager to get out. You know?"

"You haven't been out in a while?"

"Kinda." she answers vaguely, shoving her hands into the pocket of the jacket.

"Kinda?" Stefan repeats, an amused smile appearing on his lips. "That's not a very clear answer, Charlotte."

"Hey. You wanted clear answers, mom?" Charlotte looks up, face serious, but a small hint of smile resting on her lips. "Then don't get me drunk on vodka and beer, and shots. That's what you get for that. That's what you get."

Stefan gives another shake of his head and redirects his gaze forward. "I'm going to walk you home. You're not making much sense."

"I never make sense. Nothing makes sense."

"That's not true." he responds, voice slightly softer. "You've said some..Good things that make sense to me."

"I guess I have my moments."

Stefan hesitates before answers, voice still soft. "We all do."

Charlotte allows the silence to fall between them for a moment, before it passes and a question comes to her mind.

"Do you ever get that feeling when you don't want something to end?"

Stefan looks down, surprised by the question. "Sometimes. Do you not want-"

"Not this. Don't worry, I'm not talking about tonight." she reassures him quickly, pausing. "Just – I'm just asking. Out of curiosity. Do you know what feeling I'm talking about? You don't want it to end, but you know it's going to, and there's nothing you can do to change it."

These words take Stefan by even more surprise, because he understands what she's saying, he relates with it, he knows what it's like. Stefan looks away from Charlotte and clenches his jaw tightly together, waves of guilt almost flooding in, until he shuts them out for now. There will be time for the guilt, and the pain, later tonight, when he's all alone But right now, he's with her, and he wants this to end well because she deserves for it to, she deserves a good night. Deep down, Stefan knows he deserves it too, but that's so far down that he'll never admit it.

"I know the feeling." he answers, a few minutes later, having been lost in his thoughts for longer then he'd meant.

Charlotte nods in agreement, her heels leaving small sounds as they hit the pavement. "I'm usually pretty ignorant though."

"Of what?"

"Myself. Others. I don't like – I don't like focusing on certain things, sometimes. You know? And I know you're going to respond by saying that you ignored your problems and ran away, but you're a good guy. I'm sure if you could fix it then you would, Stefan."

"Maybe." he answers quietly, distantly.

"There's no maybe about it. I'm right."

Stefan sighs quietly, keeping his eyes set on the path ahead of them. "I didn't say you were right."

"You didn't have to, because I already know it."

"You seem pretty sure about yourself."

"I'm not. I'm not. I'm like the complete opposite. Well, that's a lie. I'm sure about some things, about myself. Some things I'm certain about. Others? Yeah, I've got no clue. Like..Eight years being a waitress. I kind of just realized that tonight."

Stefan looks up at her for a moment, studying her face, her cheekbones, the way the light reflects off of her eyes, and how she's keeping her eyes straight ahead, avoiding him.

"Did you?" he asks, glancing away.

"Yeah, I never thought about it. But I realized it tonight, and it's wasted time because I hate it. I'm good at carrying lots of things. I can be a people person when I want to be, but usually I'm in a shitty mood and I don't get good tips. And I get creeps in there, harassing me."

Stefan nods slowly, looking at her again. "Like that guy in the woods?"

"Yeah." Charlotte answers quietly, folding her arms around herself.

"What's the story there? I didn't mean to overhear it, or anything..But I heard him – The way he talked to you. It was like he knew you."

"We went to school together." she responds a few minutes later. "He's just – He's..I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't be."

"Well that's life. Isn't it?" Charlotte looks up at him, her arms still tightly wrapped around herself. "We have to get used to things we should never have to be used to, and that's just how it is."

Stefan nods, looking away from her for half a second before glancing back. "I guess so."

"Thanks for tonight." she answers, a half-smile pulling on the corners of her mouth.

"For what? The drinks? You paid for half and -"

"For agreeing. For being..You know, nice." Charlotte says, pausing for a minute, to think over her words before she says them, instead of just blurting them out. "I mean it. I know you think I'm probably just saying this shit because I'm drunk, but I'm really glad you came out. Because you seem like you could use a good friend, and I could too."

"You're a good person-"

"Oh, stop." she leans against his shoulder, sighing. "You can't be so good looking, and so nice, and so funny, and then charming. Nope. It's not fair. You're just going to win me over completely, and then that's not fair."

"I'll try to pull back on the charming." Stefan says quietly, looking away from her but wearing a new smile on his lips.

"You better."

"I'll try if you do."

Charlotte smiles up at him. "Oh, yeah, I'll try. It'll be hard."

"Good, because you can't be that beautiful, funny and nice, and then charming on top of that. No, it's not fair. You'll end up breaking my heart."

"Oh, I don't believe that for a second." she says, sighing quietly. "Nice try though, Stefan."

"Mmmmm."

A silence appears between the two of them as they continue making the journey back to Charlotte's house, and they don't have to break it, because it's a comfortable silence, it's a nice one. They remain side by side, enjoying the silence and the cool air. They enjoy the emptiness that surrounds them and the closeness between them, something that is new to them but still good, something that is special because it's new.

When they turn the corner that leads to Charlotte's street Stefan bumps into Charlotte's shoulder and she smiles, looking up at him.

"I may be scrawny but you're strong."

Stefan shakes his head, laughing quietly. "Think about what you just said. Think about it for a minute."

"I know what I said. I said I'm scrawny and you're strong." Charlotte answers, a tiny frown on her face for a moment, until the realization hits her and she laughs. "Oh, it's the other way around! My mistake. My bad, Stefan."

"Yeah, it's your bad." he laughs a little.

"Almost there." Charlotte looks up, seeing her house in the distance. "Thanks for walking me home, Stefan."

"You were – You are a little drunk, so I didn't want you to..I just wanted you to be safe."

"I appreciate that."

Another moment of silence stays with them until they reach the outside of Charlotte's house, stopping in front of the path that will lead to it. Stefan notices a truck parked outside of the house, that wasn't there before, and when he briefly glances past Charlotte he sees that there are lights on in the downstairs level. He can hear the sound of someone opening a can of beer, and the TV roaring loudly, a baseball game playing in the distance."

"So, this is me." Charlotte smiles a little, looking up at Stefan when he returns her gaze. "Oh, crap. I almost forgot – I'm wearing your jacket."

"You can keep it, you look cold."

"It's not far-"

"It's okay. It's new, and I don't really like it. But it looks nice on you."

Charlotte looks up from the jacket and to Stefan, watching him for a moment before she smiles a little. "Dinner and a jacket. How will I pay you back?"

"You don't have to. Really. I had a good night too."

"Good."

"I'll, uh.."

"Yeah, I should.." Charlotte nods, gesturing to the house then looking to Stefan. She hesitates for a moment, only a brief moment, before she takes a step closer and presses a kiss to Stefan's cheek. When Charlotte breaks away, taking a step back, Stefan looks up at her and smiles a little.

"Goodnight, Charlotte."

She looks away then back at him, smiling a little. "Night, Stefan."

Stefan watches on silently as Charlotte turns away and follows the path, not taking the stairs up to the second level but entering through the front door, on the side of the house. He watches until she's gone and the door is closed, and he moves to walk away but stops, hearing his phone buzz from the pocket of his pants.

Another new message sits on the screen of his phone, waiting to be opened. He notices that it is from Jeremy and almost deletes it, but something inside of him changes and instead of deleting it as he has before, he opens the message to read it.

**From, Jeremy:**

**Don't delete this – It's Lexi. **

**I know that you've gone off the grid so you probably won't get his message, but if you do please don't ignore it. You're hurting, I know it. You don't deserve to be. You don't deserve to be alone, Stefan. I know you think you did something bad, but you didn't. You're not alone – You have a family waiting for you.**

**Come home, Stefan. You need your brother and he needs you.**

* * *

**A/N:** So here's another quick update. I had the chapter finished, and decided I would just update it early now because I might be busy over the weekend and not have the chance too. Here it is - You've got a a lot of Charlotte & Stefan interacting, and some Ghost Lexi! I love Lexi's character, I always did, so she'll be making a few more appearances. Let me know what you thought of the chapter and thanks for reading.

Also, I apologise if there are any spelling mistakes in this.. I re-read it a lot to make sure, but I have a terrible migraine as I'm reading and writing this up and I can't really focus So if you see any let me know.

Thank you: dogs101, Paigetvdspn, Adela and twin of a sister for your reviews. I appreciate them & you're all awesome..

**dogs 101 chapter 9:** Haha, yes it would be ironic! Glad you're still enjoying it, and no need to apologise for not reviewing lately. I'm happy you're enjoying it, that's what matters. Thanks for reading.

**Adela chapter 9:** Thanks a lot, I'm glad you like it and hope you enjoy it.

**x**


	11. The Broken Ones

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampires Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

The darkness around Sam fades away when he opens his eyes and looks up to the bathroom door as it opens, revealing Jeremy behind it. He frowns a little at the sight of Jeremy, watching as he steps inside the bathroom and closes the door.

"What are you doing sitting on the floor?" Jeremy asks, eyes moving to where Sam is.

He's resting against the cold marble walls, still clutching his arm. There's blood on the floor around him, and the wound on his neck is still bleeding heavily. Jeremy skims over him briefly before he walks to the sink, where cold water is rushing from the tap for no reason. He turns the taps off and looks back to Sam.

"What do you want?" Sam looks up, tired.

"You need help." Jeremy answers, his eyes moving briefly over the blood on the floor. "You're bleeding from your neck, and clutching your dislocated arm. You need help."

"Well I don't need it from you."

"Because I told Damon-" he falls silent quickly.

"I don't need your help." Sam cuts across him. "I don't know how much clearer I can be. I don't want or need your help, Jeremy."

Ignoring this, Jeremy walks closer and gives a small shrug of his shoulders. "Well that's too bad, because I gave my word to my friend that I'd help."

Sam frowns and looks up at him, his eyes undeniably filled with a curious glint. "Your friend? What friend? What the hell are you talking about?"

"You already know I can see people on the Other Side. Don't you?" Jeremy responds, watching the reaction in front of him.

An array of emotions dart across Sam's face, before he eventually smiles, then laughs with disbelief. "A ghost told you to help me? I think you're the one who needs help."

"Do you want to sit there and make fun of me, or do you want help to stand?"

He considers it for a moment before speaking. "Standing would be nice."

Jeremy walks until he's standing in-front of Samuel and kneels down, putting his arm around Sam's back and helping him to stand from the ground. Sam grimaces and presses his lips together to suppress the groan rising in his throat, almost escaping when he moves to his feet. Sam slumps against Jeremy for a moment, his breathing heavy, his injured arm falling limp by his side as he clutches on to Jeremy's shoulder. He shuts his eyes and curses for a moment, before reopening them.

"Let's get you sitting down."

Sam's head snaps up too quickly, and he frowns deep. "You're kidding? I was just fucking sitting-"

"Sitting down on the toilet."

"What?"

"Just shut up and let me help." he says loudly, guiding him towards the toilet. He helps him sit down on to the closed lid, and then eases his back against it. "Let me get you some blood-"

"No." he cuts across him, voice firm. "I'll heal naturally."

"What?"

"The human way."

"Sam. You have a dislocated shoulder-"

"Get me some bandages." Sam orders, voice louder, a little angrier. "A wet cloth. And something to use for a sling."

Jeremy doesn't move from where he stands, and instead folds his arms across his head and tilts his head back. "It could heal if you took the blood. You know that."

"I don't want the damn blood. Bandages. Cloth. Sling. Go on, boy. It's not that hard to remember."

He scoffs and begins to walk away. "You're a dick when you're in pain."

"I'm a dick all the time." Sam calls out. "At least I can admit it."

"I know what happened between you and Damon. You called him unstable."

"How the hell do you know that?" he asks, then sighs loudly when the realization hits him. "Oh. Your ghost friend? They can see us all the time?"

"No, not all the time. And not all of them. Only the ones you think of."

"Luckily I don't know anyone on the Other Side then."

"Yeah. Lucky you." Jeremy says flatly, hesitating before he turns back to him. "Damon is hard to get used to. Trust me, I know. He's difficult, and moody, but there are other sides of him. Even I don't know them all yet. I probably never will. But there's a side of him that cares."

"I don't."

"What?"

Sam looks up at him, a darker look in his eyes. "Trust you. I don't trust you. Not one bit."

Jeremy falters and hides the emotions that flood throughout him at this moment, pushing them down instead. "Because of the-"

"Yes. And I don't trust Damon. Do you want to know why? Because I don't want to trust a man, or a vampire, who is only good for one person. And that's true, isn't it? Damon only tries to be good when Johanna is around. Why? To impress her? Get in her pants? I don't know. But he only tries for her, he doesn't care about the rest of you. I don't like him, and I don't think there are other sides of him."

A large sigh escapes Jeremy's throat as he walks closer. "You don't know him like I do. You might think you do, but you don't know him. You don't know him at all."

"He abuses you physically or emotionally on a daily-"

"I don't care what you have to say. You don't know him. You haven't been here, and you don't know him. He has saved a lot of people's lives. He cares in his own way. You don't know what he's been through."

"What he's been through?" Sam asks, then laughs. "He's a vampire. He's spent centuries drinking, feeding and killing innocent people, and having a lot of sex. It doesn't sound like he's been through anything bad at all. He's hurt people. Killed many. All vampires are the same. They kill and they destroy."

"What about Johanna? Is she like them?"

"No, she's-"

"You don't know her. You don't know what she's like now." Jeremy answers, voice much louder, much angrier. "I know her. She's a vampire, and she's attacked people. Not intentionally, but she has because it's part of their nature. They don't always mean to do it. And I'm not standing up for what Damon has or hasn't done, because I don't know that. All I know is that he's not the bad guy that you're making him out to be. And just so you know, I don't trust you either. I'll go get those things you need, I'll help you, and then I'm out of here."

"Fine with me."

Jeremy stares at Sam for a moment before he turns away and leaves the bathroom, walking into the bedroom and out through the door on to the balcony. He looks up and finds Damon standing there, a different look on his face.

"What?" Jeremy asks, an immediate look of worry spreading across his features. "Did something happen? Is Johanna – Did we find her?"

"I came to find you." Damon answers quietly, eyes flickering towards the door before moving back to meet Jeremy's gaze.

Jeremy notices this and walks closer, and as he moves closer he notices the more vacant look in Damon's eyes. "What? What's wrong? Is it Elena?" he asks, the panic rising inside of him, escaping through his words.

"No, Elena's fine. Nothing's wrong. I was just looking for you."

"Why?" Jeremy asks, the frown on his forehead deepening.

He doesn't understand why Damon is like this, or why he would be looking for him after what just happened. There's something different about Damon, about the way he's holding himself, or how he's looking, and Jeremy doesn't know what it is.

"I wanted to apologize." Damon says quietly.

Jeremy is thrown by this and stammers, disbelief flooding through his voice. "What? Are you serious?" he asks, then stops. "You didn't do anything to me, Damon. You don't have to apologize to me."

"I know, but I.." he trails off, voice still low, eyes still incredibly vacant. He looks away from Jeremy again. "I heard what you said with Sam. You really think that? That I'm not the bad guy?"

A wave of understanding rushes through Jeremy and he sighs, relaxing. "Yes, Damon, I really believe that. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. I wouldn't have an argument with someone I barely know about it if I didn't believe it."

"Why?" he asks. "Why do you believe it?"

"Because I've seen good sides to you."

Damon clenches his jaw tightly together, lifting his head. "What if it's only because of Johanna? I heard him too. What if I'm only like that for Johanna? I think it all the time. She makes me better, there's no denying that. But if I'm only good around her, what's the point? That's not a good thing. I need to – I don't know what..I don't know if I'm only good around her. Am I?"

"Are you only good around her?" Jeremy asks. "Only you can answer that. I have to go help Sam, because he's hurt and he won't take any vampire blood for it. Think about it. Okay? And let me know what your answer is, I'm sure you can find it on your own."

Damon glances back to Jeremy briefly, meeting his gaze for for a moment before he nods and steps past him, retreating to his room. Jeremy watches after Damon for a minute then goes downstairs in search of what he needs to help Sam, soon finding it and returning to the room to find it just as he left it. Sam's eyes are closed as he leans back against the toilet, and he only opens them when Jeremy coughs to clear his throat. He looks up and sees the bandages, the wet cloth, and the make-shift sling in Jeremy's hand.

"Not that hard to remember." Jeremy says quietly, walking towards him. He sets the items down on the sink and walks closer. "We have to put your arm into place."

"I can do it." Sam answers defiantly, moving towards the edge of the seat. "I've put it back into place before with no help, I can do it again."

"That's good for you, but I'm helping this time so you don't mess it up and delay our search for Johanna."

"Fine." he sighs, and moves to stand up without help.

"Let me remove your jacket so I can see it." Jeremy says quietly, then begins to work on removing his jacket.

Jeremy unzips the black hooded jacket and slides it off Sam's uninjured arm first, before moving to his injured arm and carefully peeling it away, not wanting to cause him anymore pain. He returns to Sam's side after placing the jacket down on the sink, and takes another look at his arm.

"You're going to need to take your shirt off." Jeremy says, after inspecting it silently for a second. He looks up at Sam. "I can't see the whole area. If we're going to put it back into place properly I need to see it all."

Sam nods and reaches for the bottom of his shirt with his hand, pulling it up over his hand and over his arm quickly, not waiting for Jeremy's help. He tosses the faded black shirt to the floor and allows his injured arm to fall back by his side.

"I could have helped." Jeremy says, eyes wide, surprised by what happened. "You didn't have to tear it off like that."

"I'd rather it be over quickly, then watch you fumble awkwardly with the shirt."

Jeremy frowns more, watching him closely. "I wouldn't fumble."

Sam fights the urge to roll his eyes. "Just put it back in place."

"I thought you were nice."

"When we're done, why don't I dislocate your arm and let some feral vampire feed off you? Or maybe I'll let them choke you to the point of _almost_ blacking out? Then we'll see if you're nice."

"Damon's not feral." he answers quietly.

"Really?" Sam sighs. "That's all you have to say?"

After setting his hands where they have to go, Jeremy fixes Sam's arm back into place quickly and without warning. It goes back into place with a loud, painful crack, and Sam groans loudly, biting down harshly on the bottom of his lip.

"Thanks for the warning." Sam growls, straightening up his body.

Jeremy takes a step back and allows his eyes to skim over Sam, who is standing in nothing but tight black jeans now. He looks away from his chest and to the sink, reaching for the faded black shirt and returning it to Sam.

"Don't need it. I'm taking a shower after this." he answers, tossing it to the ground. "Thanks for your help. I know, it must be hard for you to help me since I'm not a nice guy."

"You're not that bad." Jeremy says, looking up at him slowly, eyes lingering on his chest again, before meeting his gaze. "You're just..You don't understand Damon because you don't know him. And I don't care if you don't like him, but he's my friend and I'll stand up for him."

Sam shakes his head, lifting his hand to his face to brush his messy light hair back. "He doesn't seem like a very good friend to you."

"What do you mean?"

"You're alone most of the time. You're sad, and you're tempted to use again." Sam answers as he walks to the sink, picking up the damp cloth. He wipes at the wound on his neck, washing away the dried blood and pressing the cloth there for a moment to keep the blood from flowing. "Where are your friends when you need them?"

Jeremy shakes his head, walking towards the sink. He unravels some of the bandages and tries to set them out, so that Sam will be able to access them easier. "They're going through their own things too, I understand that."

"I understand it too." Sam replies, keeping the cloth pressed against his neck for another minute. "You're there for them, they're not there for you. That's sad-"

"I'm not going to explain it to you because you don't get it." Jeremy cuts across him. "I know what's going on with them, and you don't. That's why you can't see it."

"I'm not the bad guy here, Jeremy."

"I don't think you are. I never thought you were." he responds, almost instantly. "I don't think you're the bad guy, and I don't think Damon is either. I think you were both in bad moods, and you're both dealing with your own things, and it just kind of exploded from that."

After looking at the wound on his neck through the reflection in the mirror, Sam drops the damp cloth into the sink and reaches for the bandages. He takes the one that Jeremy offers him, not answering him but instead giving him a small, almost tentative smile. He places the bandage over his neck and covers it, before tilting his head back to inspect the bruises around his throat.

"Those look pretty bad."

"Yes, I'm aware of that." he answers. "I can see, I have eyes."

"Really?" Jeremy responds, feigning shock. "Here I was thinking you were just a rock with hair."

Sam laughs a little and turns to face Jeremy, his hip bone pressing against the side of the counter that he leans against. "A rock with hair. What does that mean?"

Jeremy laughs, shrugging his shoulders a little. "I don't know. I heard it somewhere, once. I actually have no idea what it means."

"And you thought now would be the time to try it out?"

He smiles, scratching at the side of his head. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess I did."

"Do you do that often?" Sam asks, eyes locked with his. "Try out new things."

"I guess." Jeremy swallows thickly. "Sometimes."

"Mmm." he answers and looks away, down at the floor. "Thanks for helping me. I mean it, you didn't have to. It just shows that you're a good person. You can go do whatever you need to do, I'll clean up in here."

A silent moment passes between the two of them before Jeremy nods and leaves the bathroom, his feet guiding him out of the room and out to the hallway, completely oblivious to Sam who collapses on the floor seconds after Jeremy is gone.

* * *

As the cold water consumes him and leaves trails down his body, Stefan's eyes close and he leans his head back, breathing out a small sigh. He lifts his hands to his neck and rubs at the skin, washing away the blood that he knows is there. The memory is fresh in his head, as fresh as the blood that still covers his skin and rests in his mouth. He can still taste it in the back of his throat, it's still there, slowly slipping away from him.

Slowly, he opens his eyes and steps underneath the water enough to rid his body of the crimson clinging to him. He finishes washing shortly after and steps out of the shower, walking over the blood stained clothes on the floor and reaching for a towel. The blue towel goes around his waist before he walks out into the dark hotel room, the only light source coming from the cracks of light slipping through the blinds and an old yellow lamp on the nightstand that is slowly dying.

The bottle of whiskey is resting almost empty on the table when Stefan reaches for it, picking it up and removing the lid. He lifts it to his lips and swallows a large mouthful, only stopping for a second at the sound of something outside. He ignores it, finishes what remains in the bottle, and returns to his bag where he find some new clothes; he pulls on clean pants, and just as he reaches for a shirt he stops and hears something.

_Footsteps_. Followed by the sound of heavy breathing.

Stefan frowns and turns around to face the door to his room seconds before he hears someone knocking on it loudly. He reaches for the door and opens it, freezing when he finds Charlotte on the other side. Through the fading darkness outside Stefan can still see the scattered blood that covers her, the fresh wounds, and the torn pieces of clothing she's wearing. He doesn't have the chance to look at her wounds with much attention, because suddenly she's inside his room, and she's talking frantically, her chest rising and falling heavily.

"I'm – I'm sorry, that I don't – I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't know, Stefan. I found – He was sleeping. David, the guy in the – He was sleeping, and I looked at the sheet of rooms. I didn't know where to go. I didn't know who else to go to. I'm so sorry."

"Hey. Hey." Stefan shuts the door then steps closer, reaching out to place his arm on her elbow.

Charlotte flinches but doesn't recoil from his touch, instead she meets his gaze and tries to keep holding it. "I don't know – I didn't know. My car is – It doesn't have any gas, and I was too low on money."

"It's okay. Slow down, Charlotte. It's okay. Just calm down and tell me what happened to you, okay?"

"I can't – I'm fine. I'm fine."

"No, you're not. You're not fine. Just take a moment, and focus on your breathing. Okay? Slow breaths. Can you do that? Can you breathe slowly for me, Charlotte?"

Instead of answering, Charlotte chooses to nod her head and focus on steadying her breathing. She draws in slow, constant breaths of air in an attempt to calm herself down. It takes her a few minutes but she manages to do it, and soon she's breathing normally again, and she feels as though a weight has been lifted off her chest.

"You're okay now. Why don't you sit down on the bed?"

"Okay. I'm okay." she says quietly, vacantly, but it sounds like she's trying to convince the both of them.

Silence falls over Stefan as he guides Charlotte to the edge of the bed, watching as she slowly sits down on the edge of it. She lifts her hands to her face, and that's when he sees that her knuckles are cut and bloody. After pressing her hands to her face for a moment, Charlotte lifts them to her hair and brushes all of the hair back off of her face.

"I'm sorry that I'm here. I didn't know-"

"Don't say sorry. You're hurt and you need help, and I can help you. I just need to know what happened to you first, and if you need to go to the hospital."

"No, I don't want to go. I'm fine, I don't need a hospital." she answers quickly, shaking her head.

"You're bleeding, Charlotte."

"It's just little. I just – It was stupid. It's nothing."

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Stefan asks, and after receiving silence he sighs and walks towards the bathroom. He returns a few minutes later with some supplies. "Do you want my help?"

Charlotte nods, hands shaking as she tucks her hair off of her face.

"Then I need to know what happened."

"I shouldn't – I should.." she stands from the bed, as though she has suddenly realized that she's here. "I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have come."

"I won't make you stay here. Go, if that's what you need. But you're bleeding and you need help. I can help you, but you need to tell me what happened and who did this." he says quietly, watching her with a great concern.

"You're right, I need help. I can't – I can't even stop my hands from shaking.

Stefan puts down the supplies and reaches out, taking Charlotte's hands lightly in his. He holds them carefully, keeping them warm and steady.

"It's okay." he says quietly, looking down at her. "You're okay here, Charlotte. No one is going to hurt you. And if you tell me what happened to you, I'm not going to tell anyone. I won't. I just want to make sure that you're getting all of the help you need from me."

"I'm not – No. I know what this looks like, but it's not – No..It was.." she stops, pulling her hands out of his and lifting them to her face. "It wasn't that. It was an accident. Okay? That's all it was. It's nothing for you to be concerned about."

"There's a lot for me to be concerned about."

"Can you help, Stefan? Can you just – Can you help me?"

"I can do that." he answers quietly. "Sit back down on the bed, I'll help."

Unable to look at him, Charlotte keeps her head down as she walks over to the bed. She sits on the edge of it and intertwines her fingers so that they'll stop shaking, but it doesn't work, her entire body continues to shake. Stefan returns to the edge of the bed and pulls a chair across with him. He reaches for the bowl of water that he'd filled up and sets it down on the bed beside her, dipping the end of a cloth in the water until it's damp.

"I'm going to wipe the blood away first, to see what's underneath it all." he announces, but his words go unanswered by Charlotte, who continues to stare down at the group.

After initially hesitating, Stefan reaches out and takes her right hand. He spreads it out flat and gently wipes away the blood from her knuckles and wrist, moving to her left hand and repeating the same process. He finishes up with her arms and moves on to her face, but before he wipes the blood away Stefan reaches out to brush the hair back off of her face.

Charlotte closes her eyes as Stefan takes all of her hair in his hands and pulls it back, twisting it loosely so that it will stay back off of her face. He lifts the cloth to her right cheek to wipe the blood away finding a long, superficial gash on that cheek. There is a bruise marking her other cheek, and her lip is swollen and bloody. He wipes at it carefully, and remains silent when Charlotte winces, or jolts slightly from his touch.

When he's finished with wiping the blood away from her face, he focuses on wiping it away from her neck and shoulders. There isn't much blood there, so he finishes quickly and is left with wiping the blood away from her legs, but Stefan doesn't want to do that. He sets down the cloth and looks up at her.

"I don't feel comfortable doing that." Stefan says, looking up at her.

As though she has suddenly snapped out of her daze, Charlotte looks up at Stefan and nods, clearing her throat to speak, but silently deciding against it. She pulls up her skirt, not the entire way, just high enough to reach the places covered in blood. Charlotte's hands shake as she wipes the blood from her ankle, thigh and knee. She moves on to the other leg and repeats the same process, wincing quietly when she wipes away the blood over the place on her thigh where there is long gash. That wound bleeds particularly heavily, so Stefan reaches out and places another cloth on it.

"You need to keep the pressure on that one until I bandage it." Stefan informs her quietly, quickly moving his hands away from her leg.

She places her hands on the cloth to keep the pressure and looks up at Stefan, and it's clear to him by the look in her eyes how uncomfortable she's feeling, how much pain she's in, and how vulnerable she's feeling in this moment.

"I can't get – There might be blood on my back." she says, stammering.

Stefan gives a slight nod of his head and stands up, walking to the bed. He sits down beside her and moves over on the bed, so that he can see her back, coming to an immediate halt when he sees the large bruise on her bag, right above the fresh-cut. His jaw clenches and unclenches tightly, and he feels strong feelings of rage rushing in through his veins, the same feelings that he'd tried to fight the moment that he saw her, bruised and bloody like this.

"There's only a little." Stefan says, his attempt to reassure her, but his voice cracks and the words come out shaky. "It's okay."

A different kind of silence falls over them as Stefan tends to her back, wiping away the blood. It's different to the one they had at dinner, the comfortable one. This is a heavy kind of silence, a sad kind, one that can't be fixed.

"All done." he says, and returns to the chair in front of her.

Stefan's eyes skim over Charlotte, taking the time to collect the small details now that he's cleaned up the blood. He counts several new bruises on her legs, arms, chest and face, not to mention the one on her back. There are also many new cuts, some small, the one on her leg the biggest.

"I'm sorry I came here. I'm sorry, I'm fine. I'm usually fine."

"It's okay not to be." he says quietly, watching her carefully.

"No, it's not. It's not okay because now you know." she answers, voice rising then breaking. "I should leave-"

"You're bleeding. Let me take care of you. Can I help you? I want to help you, Charlotte." he says, voice softer, more soothing. "Okay? That's all I want to do. I want to help you so that you're better. Can you let me do that?"

Unable to answer verbally, for fear her voice will sound too weak, Charlotte nods and closes her eyes. She remains this way until Stefan returns to sit in front of her. He wipes away the blood on her left leg and then proceeds to clean it, apologizing if it hurts, before he wraps it up in a clean, thick bandage and moves on to the other wounds. It only takes ten minutes for Stefan to finish cleaning and bandaging up the other wounds, and when he's finished he carries the supplies over to the table and sets them down there. He reaches for two glasses and fills them with whiskey, returning to the bed with them.

Stefan sits down on the chair across from Charlotte, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable by sitting too close to her. He releases a small sigh before stretching his hand out, offering her the glass of whiskey. Charlotte takes the glass without looking upwards and immediately lifts it to her lips, swallowing half of it before pulling a face and putting the glass down on her lap. She lifts her head slowly to Stefan, who has already finished his drink.

"Thank you."

He nods, looking down at the glass in his hands. "What happened?"

"It doesn't matter." she answers, avoiding his gaze.

Stefan sighs quietly, still watching her. "I think it does."

"Can I stay here tonight? I can sleep on the floor-"

"Take the bed. I'll sleep on the floor."

Charlotte finally looks up, finishing her drink before she talks. "Thank you."

"I have a shirt you can wear. Yours is.." Stefan stops, standing from the chair. He takes the empty glass from Charlotte and carries is to the table. "Yours is ruined. I'll find a shirt."

He walks towards his bag, picks it up and sets it down on the bed, searching through it until he finds a shirt for Charlotte to wear. A long sleeved, dark blue shirt hangs between his fingers as he places his bag on the floor and walks around to the side of the bed where Charlotte is still sitting.

"Here."

Charlotte stands up from the bed and takes the soft shirt, looking up slowly to meet Stefan's gaze. She wipes at the side of her face and folds the shirt, carrying it towards the bathroom where she closes the door and steps inside. A minute later she returns with only the shirt on; it covers her thighs and her arms, and makes her feel comfortable.

"Thank you for this. For helping." she says, stopping in front of Stefan. "You didn't have to. You don't owe me anything. You don't even know me."

"You needed my help, there's no way I was going to send you away."

Charlotte bites down on her bottom lip and looks up at him, a flat expression on her face, and he can tell she's fighting not to let her emotions through. "I'm not going to tell you what happened."

"Are you in danger?"

"No."

Stefan steps forward and meets her gaze, not moving. "Stop moving and listen to me carefully. First you're going to tell me what happened and why. Then you'll tell me if you've been hurt before."

"Steven hurt me." Charlotte answers flatly, tears slipping unnoticed down the sides of her face. "He hits me sometimes because he hates me. I remind him of my mother, she's dead now. He didn't do it for a long time, but he started again after my brother left. He's hurt me before. I can't remember all of the times."

"Where does he hurt you?"

"A lot of places." she replies, voice a little colder.

Stefan looks away and clenches his jaw tightly together, before finding the strength to ask the next question. He locks his eyes with hers and speaks.

"Has he ever touched you in.." he stops, struggling on the words. "Has he abused you sexually?"

"No." she answers. "Never."

"But physically..How long has this been going on?"

"On and off since my mother died. I was twelve."

"And Jason didn't stop it?" Stefan asks.

"He got hurt too. He tried when he got stronger." Charlotte answers, tears still slipping down the side of her face as she speaks. "Why are you asking me these questions? I didn't want to tell you this. I don't want to tell anyone this."

Stefan clenches his jaw tightly together again, ignoring her words, as hard as it is for him to right now. He still has a few questions of his own to ask. "Tell me why you don't leave Steven."

"Because I'm not strong enough, and I don't have any money. And I know he would find me and hurt me."

"Did he hurt your wrist and your shoulder?"

Charlotte nods slowly. "Yes. He threw me down the stairs and that's how I hurt my shoulder. He grabbed my wrist and twisted it until it snapped."

Stefan takes a step back and lifts his hands to his face, exhaling heavily before he drops his hands back to his side and locks his eyes with hers.

"Have you told anyone else?"

"Only you. David knows, but he doesn't know it's Steven." she answers quietly, staring at him. "You made me feel safe."

"Why did you come here, Charlotte?"

"You make me feel safe." Charlotte says, voice shaking. "No one cares about me. No one bothered with me. Until you did."

Stefan looks away from Charlotte briefly, as he silently takes in these words. He only looks back a moment later, his eyes locking with hers again. "Forget this conversation. You didn't tell me anything about Steven, or your brother. You're going to forget it now."

A moment later Charlotte looks away from Stefan, her eyes skimming over the room briefly before she looks back to him. She folds her arms over herself, pressing her lips together to suppress a wince.

"Thank you for this. For helping me. You didn't have to do this, you don't owe me anything. You don't even know me."

Stefan nods, folding his arms over his chest. "You were hurt. You needed help. I wasn't going to send you away."

She looks away from him, eyes shifting towards the bathroom. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm sorry?" he frowns, watching as her eyes dart back to him.

"I didn't mean to look but I saw blood in the bathroom. On the floor, and on your clothes. Are you injured? Do you need help?"

"I need you to forget that you saw blood in there." Stefan instructs, voice colder as he compels her again. "I need you to forget that you saw any blood. You didn't see anything."

Charlotte looks up at him after pausing. "I'm sorry again."

"You don't have to apologize." he answers, taking a few steps back. "You should get some sleep. I have to step outside and make a call, but you should rest. I'll be right outside if you need anything. Okay?"

She gives a nod of her head and turns away, towards the bed. Her hands shake slightly as she pulls back the blanket and slips beneath it, turning her back on Stefan. He releases a small sigh and takes his phone from his pocket, typing up a quick message and sending it to Jeremy instead of calling him, deciding silently that the call can wait until the morning. Stefan walks around to the other side of the bed, moving to sit down on the edge of it once he reaches it. He looks down at Charlotte, whose eyes are shut.

"Mind if I join you?" he asks quietly. "The floor's great and all, but the bed-"

"Is really shitty." she cuts across him, then manages a small smile, but it's weak and lacking any light or happiness.

Stefan looks down at her sadly, and tries to distract her by continuing their conversation about mattresses. "Yes, it is. Isn't it?"

"I don't know how your back isn't screwed up from this."

"I've always had good posture."

"Of course you have, Mr Perfect." she mutters quietly, sniffing as she opens her eyes. "You can lie down if you want. I don't bite."

He stretches out on the bed beside Charlotte, setting his head down on the pillow and turning to look at her. She pulls the blankets up over her shoulders and sighs.

"You have pretty good posture, Miss Perfect."

She scoffs a little and looks away, down at the patterns on the blanket. "Oh, please. Don't make me laugh, my side hurts."

"Are you sure-"

"You've done all you can do to help."

Stefan meets her gaze and holds it for a moment, before rolling over on to his side to face her. He reaches out and pulls the blankets up more, so that they're covering her shoulders completely. "It doesn't feel like I have."

She meets his gaze and gives him a small, weak smile. "Here's a little secret: It never feels like it. It never feels like enough."

Stefan continues to watch her as he speaks, his voice significantly quieter when he speaks again. "You look tired, like you need a really long sleep. Do you have work tomorrow?"

"No, it's my day off. I was going to go running and read. Maybe meet up with a friend for coffee."

"I'm sure your friend-"

"That friend just cleaned me up, and is now letting me sleep in their hotel room. I don't think we'll be friends much longer."

After glancing away again, Stefan looks up again and speaks. "Why?"

"It'll scare him off."

"I've seen worse." he says softly, then turns so he's lying on his back again. "You won't scare me off. And you won't feel better unless you get some sleep. It will help. I won't go anywhere, you won't be alone."

"Okay, Stefan." she answers quietly, closing her eyes.

"I'll be right here." he tells her as she begins to drift off, and despite his attempts to fight it, Stefan allows the soothing waves of darkness to take him and carry him off to sleep

* * *

**A/N: **Hi all...Hope that you enjoy this chapter. As you'll know, it focuses mostly on four characters - Stefan & Charlotte, and Jeremy & Sam. They both have similar interactions in the way that one of them is taking care of/trying to help the other. Let me know what you thought of these interactions, and the chapter itself. I'll try to update the next chapter soon after this one... enjoy.

Thank you Adela, Paigetvdspn, twin of a sister and Taylorocks17 for your reviews - as always, they are appreciated..

**_Guest reviews:_**

**Adela - Chapter 10: **Thanks for reading & reviewing. Hope you enjoyed chapter 11.

**Taylorocks17 - Chapter 10: **Thank you! I'm glad you liked it, and enjoyed seeing Lexi. Hope you like chapter 11.

**x**


	12. Sick

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampires Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

There is a heavy silence in the house as Jeremy proceeds down the corridor towards Damon's bedroom, where he believes he will find him. He remains silent and moves quietly, hoping to hear some hint of whether there is anyone in Damon's room or not. Upon entering the room he finds the room empty, just as it was the last time he was inside of it. His eyes skim the room as he walks towards the bathroom, peering inside but also finding it empty.

"Damon?" he calls out, moving out of the room and stepping out on to the balcony.

He listens carefully for a moment, stopping when hears small sounds coming from downstairs. Jeremy follows these voices, stopping only when he reaches the staircase and finds the parlour empty. He moves down the stairs and towards the basement, where he hears Enzo shouting angrily, desperately. He's shouting at Martin who is standing on the opposite side of the locked door, a cup of blood in his hands.

"You have no right to keep me here. No right!" Enzo snaps, hands desperately trying to break the chains that bind him. "I haven't done anything. I don't deserve this."

"What's going on?" Jeremy asks, moving quickly down the stairs.

Martin glances up and sighs. "I'm just trying to help him-"

"How?" Enzo growls, rattling the chains. "By keeping me in here, chained like an injured animal?"

"You're sick, Enzo-"

"Because of Damon. He did this to me, but he's not in chains." Enzo snaps back. "Why? Why is that? Damon is no different from me. He is a monster just as I am! This isn't fair."

"Johanna compelled Damon. Okay?" Jeremy says, peering in through the bars on the door. "She compelled Damon not to attack anyone to feed, and if she were still here, she'd do the same for you. That's why Damon's not chained up right now, because he's been compelled not to attack anyone."

"Martin. The Hunter. He is wheezing like he has an injured rib, and he walked with a slight limp down here. Tell me who attacked him, because it wasn't me." Enzo answers.

"What?" Jeremy's head snaps to the right, towards Martin. He frowns deeply, taking a step closer, his eyes skimming over him as he does. "Wait. You were attacked? By who? By Damon?"

"No, he didn't attack me. We had an argument." Martin responds, opening the door behind Jeremy. He steps inside and walks forward, setting the glass of blood in front of Enzo.

Enzo picks up the glass and swallows the contents whole, sighing heavily after. Martin watches him for a moment before he leaves the cell, locking it again and turning to face Jeremy. He sighs quietly, and hesitates.

"He saw the vampire blood, I was pouring it in front of him.."

"Wait, and he attacked you? No, he-"

"He did." Damon finishes the words, joining them. "I figured I'd join the 'I hate Damon' party because, you know, there's not a bigger hate of me than me."

"Oh, I think there is." Enzo calls out angrily.

Damon rolls his eyes and looks at the cell briefly, before redirecting his gaze to the two standing in front of him. "Shut up, Enzo. When you're in a cell you don't get an opinion. Wait, you don't get an opinion at all. So shut up and go back to sulking."

"You attacked Martin too?" Jeremy asks, disbelief slipping through his voice.

"I didn't attack him. We had a...Misunderstanding."

"Hold on, Jeremy." Martin pauses, looking between the two of them slowly. "Damon attacked someone else?"

"You just said I didn't attack you. You said it was a misunderstanding." Damon answers quickly, his voice becoming a little high-pitched. "You literally just said it, Martin. And besides, you were the one who put the knives in me and threatened to cut me with vervain. Oh, it's convenient how you leave that part out."

"Damon. Who did you attack? Jeremy?" Martin asks, voice eerily low.

"No, I didn't -" Damon begins.

"He didn't attack anyone. I said that wrong. He and Sam had an argument, about Johanna, and other things." Jeremy answers quickly, wanting to defuse the situation.

Damon looks to Jeremy, shaking his head slightly. "Convenient how you forget to mention what these other things are. The things that you came to me and told me about, which you didn't have to do."

An immediate frown drops on Jeremy's face, and he stares back at Damon, annoyed. "I thought you cared."

"Oh, really? Well you were wrong-"

"Enough. Enough." Martin snaps, voice louder. "You and Sam argued. Did you hurt him?"

"We both.." Damon stops, pausing. "I roughed him up, he'll recover. Why are you like that?"

There's a different look upon Martin's face, a clearer one, that shows them the worry that he's feeling inside. He doesn't answer Damon, and he doesn't offer either of them an explanation as he rushes towards the stairs. Damon and Jeremy share a look before following after him.

"Martin, what's going on?" Jeremy asks, rushing up the stairs behind him. "Is something wrong? Sam's okay, he's not hurt. Damon's right, he's okay. I helped him put his shoulder back-"

"You put his shoulder back?" Martin stops and looks between the two of them, the worried look on his face gone, now replaced by something unreadable. "You broke his shoulder?!"

Damon shakes his head slowly. "No, I dislocated it. Dislocated his shoulder."

Martin glances away and breathes out heavily, before turning to face them. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Jeremy gives a slight shrug of his shoulders. "No one knows. They could try to find out, but they never would, because it's so-"

"Do you think this is funny?" Martin all but shouts, his voice growing louder. "Do the two of you think this is funny?"

Jeremy shakes his head quickly, looking at Martin. "I'm not – No, I don't think it's funny. I was being serious-"

"Calm down, Jeremy. You didn't do anything wrong." Damon sighs, folding his arms. "Why are you getting so worked up for, Martin? Jeremy said it himself, Sam's fine. He'll be fine. I think you need to calm down and just...Just calm down. Okay?"

"No, I won't calm down, Damon. I won't. I don't care that you hurt me, because you didn't. I've had worse. I've survived worse. But I care about Sam, and he's not fine. He won't be fine."

The frown on Damon's face falters and he hesitates, almost unwilling to ask. "Why won't he be okay, Martin?"

"Because he's..." Martin stops, sighing. "Because he's sick."

Jeremy speaks after the silence has fallen over them. "What? How is he sick? With what?"

After glancing between the two of them for a moment, Martin turns away quickly and begins moving towards the stairs, ignoring their movements behind him as they follow him, both seeking answers that he hasn't give them.

"Martin, what's wrong?" Jeremy asks. "What is he sick with? He was fine when I was with him. He wasn't sick. I helped him get cleaned up, and he was okay."

"He's not okay. He's-"

"He's not sick, Martin. He's using. Jeremy saw his stash." Damon answers quickly. "You're wrong, okay? He's not sick, he's just lying to you."

Martin shakes his head. "He has prescription medication."

"It didn't look like it was all prescription to me. I know cocaine when I see it."

Martin stops walking suddenly and looks up at him, his face filled with anger. "You had no right to go through his things. No right at all, Damon."

Damon's eyes widen slightly and he shakes his head. "I didn't go through his things. I was in his room, and as I passed one of his bags I saw it. Wait. Why are you mad at me for? I'm not the one using around a recovering addict. I'm the one-"

"That's not your business. You might think that it's your business because we're staying in your house, and we have a connection to Johanna, but it's not your business."

"Actually it is my business, Martin, because it's my house. That makes it my business. It's also my business because of Johanna. So, yeah, it does concern me." Damon snaps back angrily, voice growing louder.

"Damon." Jeremy sighs, the tension between the three of them back stronger.

"Fibromyalgia." Martin answers, voice still loud.

Damon opens his mouth to respond but stops, frowning for a second. "What?"

"You're over a hundred years old and you haven't bothered to educate yourself on-"

"I know what it is. I don't know why you're shouting it at me for..." Damon pauses, trailing off for a moment as the realisation hits him. "Sam has Fibromyalgia."

Martin clenches his jaw tightly together before giving a stiff nod of his head. "Yes. He's had it for a few years."

Jeremy looks between the two of them, a frown still in place on his forehead. "What's Fibrom..What's Fibro? What does that mean?"

"Fibro is chronic, widespread muscle pain throughout the entire body."

"What kind of pain?" Jeremy asks quietly, a second later.

"Chronic. It's constant and everywhere..His neck, chest, arms and knees. His feet. It's everywhere. He's sensitive to the heat and the cold sometimes. Bright lights and sounds make it worse. And sometimes, something as simple as a physical tough..A hug or a handshake, it can be incredibly painful. He's been fighting it for years. He drinks a lot, even though he shouldn't. And yes, Damon, he takes a lot of drugs to deal with the pain."

Damon stares at Martin silently for a moment before he looks down, at the floor. He lifts his hands to his face but decides on keeping them by his side as he redirects his gaze back to Martin, who is still standing in front of him.

"If I'd – If I knew that he was sick, that he had it that bad, I wouldn't have hurt him. I wouldn't-" Damon stammers, the words not passing through his lips clearly.

"You may not think you caused him pain, Damon, but what he feels is chronic. If a hug hurts him, I can't imagine what you've done to him. You can't make up for what you've done. And you may one day earn his forgiveness for this, but I'm not sure that you'll earn mine. You can help now, you can try to help him. Both of you."

"How?"

"Just do as I say." Martin answers.

Jeremy nods quickly, his face filled with a mix of emotions. "We can do that."

Martin looks between the two briefly, an uncertain look on his face before he nods and leads the way down towards Sam's bedroom. He opens the door as soon as he reaches it, his eyes searching the room for Sam the second that he enters it, finding only emptiness.

"He was in the bathroom the last time I saw him." Jeremy says quickly, upon noticing the distressed look on Martin's face.

"Sam?" Martin calls out, moving hastily to the bathroom door.

Damon and Jeremy are standing right behind Martin when he grips the handle and opens the bathroom door, revealing a scene that none of them are prepared for; Sam is lying on his chest, facing the ground, his head on an awkward angle. His arm looks badly placed, and there's blood on the ground around him. After half a second of hesitating, Martin rushes forward to Sam's side, kneeling down to touch him but deciding against it. He kneels down on the ground and tries to get Sam to look up, and he does, he lifts his head, and it reveals tear stains on his cheek and puffy eyes.

The left side of his face looks as though it is badly bruising, from where he fell harshly and hit the marble floor. Jeremy is the next to enter the bathroom, walking slowly, unsteadily, to where they are. Damon doesn't move forward, not at first, he can't because he is struck with a paralyzing guilt – he did this. Sam was right, he causes pain for all that he comes into contact with, and this is his fault.

"Sam, I need you to be strong, son. We need to get you up off the floor, and on the bed. Okay?" Martin says slowly, his voice is confident but it wavers.

"No, no." Sam manages to say, his words coming out choked. There are still tears sliding down his face, and he closes his eyes for a moment, not looking at them. "I can't move."

"I know it hurts. I know, okay? But you have to move. You can't stay here like this."

Jeremy steps forward, voice weak. "What do – What do we do?"

"We need to get him off the floor and on to the bed. Jeremy, go find his medication. Bring it all in, I'll know which ones they are. Damon, I need-"

"No, I don't – want to move. I can't move. Just leave me here. Just leave, please." Sam says, voice weaker, shakier.

"I can move him." Damon says quickly, walking closer.

Martin's head snaps upwards and he watches Damon warily before speaking. "No, you're not-"

"I move faster than you. I pick him up, and I'll have him on that bed in one second. I'll be careful."

He pauses, considering it briefly. "If you hurt him-"

"I'll hand you the dagger to put in my beating heart." Damon answers, walking towards the two of them. "One second. No pain. No hurt. I promise."

Martin looks up at Damon before he nods, leaning down to talk to Sam, who closes his eyes and ignores them. He stands up from the ground and gives him a nod, a confirmation to do this.

In a second Damon has picked Sam off of the floor and moved him to the bed, placing him down gently, so his head is propped up and his legs and arms are stretched out.

"Turn the lights out, Jeremy." Martin instructs as he walks into the bedroom. "Light some candles instead."

Jeremy does this without questioning, turning the lights off after a moment, and then moving around the room to find the candles and some matches to light them. Damon directs him to where the matches are, before he leaves Jeremy to light the candles and turns to where Martin stands at the side of the bed.

A few of the candles begin to glow in the room, providing enough light for them to see Sam clearly, the light coming from the hallway outside also providing them with light. Sam is lying still on the bed, his eyes tightly shut. Martin walks away from the bed and reaches for a bag, pulling out a few bottles of pills and briefly looking at the labels. He returns to Sam's bedside and empties some pills into his hands, offering them to Sam, who won't take them immediately.

After he finishes lighting the candles Jeremy returns to Damon's side, both standing silent, helpless, as Martin gets Sam to take some medication. He doesn't take it easily, but after he has he lets out a low sound, similar to a sob, and asks weakly to be left alone. Martin looks away from Sam and to Damon and Jeremy, who understand that he is silently asking for a minute alone with Sam. They nod at him briefly, turning to leave the room as quickly as they can, closing the door behind him.

A loud sigh escapes Damon's lips as he walks over to the wooden railing of the balcony, leaning his hands on it before dropping his head down. He hears movement beside him but doesn't look up as Jeremy follows him, setting his arms on the railing and looking down at the house below. He looks up at Damon after a moment, who is still resting his head on his hands.

"You didn't know-"

"Don't, Jer." he responds immediately, speaking over him. Damon sounds tired and defeated, but he sounds guilty, that's the strongest thing coming across in his voice.

Jeremy frowns, still looking down at him. "Don't, what?"

"Don't try to excuse what I did. You saw that."

"You didn't know he was sick when you hurt him." Jeremy answers, voice a little louder, slightly more confident than it had been in the room.

"But I shouldn't have done it in the first place, Jeremy. That's the point here. It doesn't matter that I didn't know that he was sick, and that me hurting him would bring him _that_ much pain. I shouldn't have done it in the first place. He was right and you know it."

"Right about what?" Jeremy asks after a moment, almost hesitant to ask.

Damon keeps his head down and sighs. "He was right about everything that he said about me. I don't care about anyone else but myself, and Johanna. And why do I care about her so much? Is it because I love her, or because I love the idea of having someone that loves me? Someone that picked me first?"

"Damon, don't." Jeremy shakes his head, walking closer. "Don't even say that. You love her, I know you do. I've seen it. You know you do too."

"Wouldn't it be better for everyone else if I didn't?" Damon lifts his head, looking up at Jeremy. He keeps his arms resting against the railing before taking a step away from it. "I'd be saving her a lot of pain and-"

"Stop it. Stop with this self-pitying shit, Damon. It's not just about you!" Jeremy almost shouts, his frustration and anger slipping through his voice. "You're so selfish sometimes, okay? We all know that. You do too. But you can be selfless too. You can't run away from what you've done – You can't run away from tonight, and you can't run away from Johanna."

"I don't want to run away from those things! I want to run away from myself, Jeremy. I wish I could just – just take a break from me. I hate myself. I am miserable. I am alone. And I am destructive to every single thing that I come into contact with. My brother. Johanna. Enzo. Alaric. All of them. All of it is my fault. This is my fault too. There is no self-pitying here. I don't pity myself, I hate myself."

"Jeremy's right. Enough with the self-pitying shit, Damon." Martin says, appearing suddenly in the doorway.

Damon frowns deeply, the disbelief clear in his light eyes. He shakes his head and looks away, before looking back up at Martin. "Look at what I did. Look at how I hurt him-"

"It's your fault what happened to him. No one is denying that. But instead of feeling bad and lashing out at other people about it, do something, Damon. Do something about it instead of feeling bad for yourself, and trying to destroy yourself." Martin says, voice fierce, filled with experience. "I know what it's like to let people down, and feeling bad about yourself doesn't make it better. You can't run from it. You have to own up to it. Make up for it. Show change. Show improvement. As much as you try to convince everyone else that you're not capable of be better, you know you are. I know it too, even though I don't know you well, and I have seen a lot of things that would suggest you're incapable of change. You can change. You can be better, and not just for Johanna, not just for the people that you care about, but for yourself too."

With a small shake of his head Damon takes a few steps back from them, an unreadable expression now resting on his features. "A couple of speeches from the two of you isn't going to help. It isn't going to make me hate myself any less, and it isn't going to fix things. It won't make me good. It won't make me better. I don't know how to be better."

Martin shakes his head, walking closer, not believing a word that's coming through Damon's lips. He isn't going to give up, not on this and not on Damon.

"That's not true. You know how to be better, but you're afraid. You're afraid because change is scary. You don't know if you can live up to who you want to be. You don't expectations to live up to. Well, too bad, Damon. Too damn bad. There are people who expect more from you, and every time you pull shit like this you let them down. Every single time you feel bad for yourself instead of trying to improve yourself, you let them down. But the worst thing is you let yourself down. You've done it so many times you probably don't even realize you're doing it anymore. And that's the sad thing, Damon."

"He's right, Damon. You let yourself down too. Not just the people you care about." Jeremy says, voice slightly more confident. "You're important too, Damon. You matter, even though you think you don't. You're good, if only you would see that."

Damon shakes his head, another look of disbelief darting across his features. "What I don't understand is why there is so much pressure on me to be the good guy-"

"No one's asking that of you." Martin steps forward.

"Yeah, they are, Martin. You are. Jeremy is. Everybody is, and I just do not think that I can live up to that. I'm not my brother. I'm not Alaric. I'm not the good guy. I'll never be that guy, and I'm sorry to disappoint you but that's just who I am. And I don't know if this will mean anything to either of you, but I am sorry for what happened with Sam. It was my fault. That is all on me. I take that blame without fighting it, because that was my fault. There's nothing I can do to make up for it or fix it. There's nothing I can do anymore. I'm wasting my time here. I don't know what the two of you are doing, but in ten minutes I am leaving. I am getting in my car, and I am leaving to find Johanna. Because you two are talking about how I let myself down when I let her down the most. I need to find her. We need to find her and fix this, because she deserves that. And maybe, just maybe, finding her will help me to fix myself like you all seem to want."

"I can't leave Sam. I can't leave him." Martin replies, shaking his head as he speaks. "He's hurt and he needs someone to look after him. But I need to find my daughter."

"Well, that's a hard decision, Martin. Good luck figuring that one out." he responds immediately, turning to walk away but stopping. "I'm sorry about Sam. Okay? If I had just walked away we'd all be going on that road-trip. But he can't go, you're right. He's sick. Someone has to stay here with him."

"I'll stay." Jeremy speaks up, when silence falls again.

Martin frowns, looking at him. "What?"

"Yeah. What?" Damon asks, also frowning.

"You don't want to leave Sam alone, Martin, but you want to find Johanna. I want to find her too, but you're a skilled, trained Hunter. You're better at tracking. And you know Boston. You know the area. You should go, and I'll stay here."

"Jeremy, I don't know how-"

"Meredith would be here too. She's coming to watch over Enzo too, when she's not working. We'll be okay. All that you need is for someone to make sure Sam is okay. Look after him. Right?"

Martin gives a slow nod of his head, not responding immediately. "I don't know about that. It's not a bad idea, but you-"

Jeremy folds his arms over his chest. "I want to find Johanna too, but you'll be better at it. You know you will be. Like I said, you're better at tracking and you know the area. The sooner you find her, the sooner you get back here to us and to Sam."

"It's not a bad idea." Martin repeats, pausing. "I'm going to go talk with Sam for a minute. I'll let you know my decision when I return. Don't go anywhere while I'm gone, Damon."

After watching Martin disappear into the room again, Damon looks away and down at the ground. His eyes flicker back to Jeremy, who is watching him closely, with an unwavering gaze. An immediate frown begins to form on Damon's features.

"What?" he sighs, sounding tired again.

"You need to think about a lot of things while you're gone."

"Yes, dad." Damon answers flatly, looking unimpressed.

"I'm serious, Damon."

"Yeah. And I'm seriously listening and taking advice from a teenager."

"I don't care if you listen or take the advice. You need to think about it all. You need to start forgiving yourself too. How are you ever going to move on and forgive yourself if you can't get rid of this hate?"

Damon shrugs his shoulders slightly, an unreadable expression still resting upon his cold features. "That remains a mystery to me. One I don't think I'll ever figure out."

"Well, you have to figure it out one day or it'll destroy you. You don't deserve that."

"I've done more bad things-"

"What you've done doesn't make you a bad person if you're willing to change. If you improve and try to make up for the bad things you've done, then you can move past them."

He rolls his eyes and looks away for half a second. "Stop being so wise. It's annoying."

"Maybe it's annoying because it's true."

"Or maybe it's annoying because you're just annoying, and that's the truth."

"Damon, go and pack your bags." Martin instructs as he steps out of the room, a serious look now resting upon his tired features. "We're leaving in ten minutes."

"Sam's okay with that?" Jeremy asks, looking to him.

Martin gives a slight nod of his head. "He's fine with it. He wants us to find Johanna, and it's not like he's never dealt with this kind of pain before. I'm going to pack some things, and you're going to follow me when I do that because I'm going to tell you all the things you need to know about his condition. You can pass them on to Meredith when she gets here."

"Can I talk to Damon quickly?"

"One minute." Martin answers, and begins walking off in the direction of his room. "You have one minute. Hurry up."

Jeremy looks to Damon after Martin has walked off, speaking with a quieter voice. "I need you to promise me something."

"I can't make-"

"Yes, you can. I need you to do this."

"What is it?" Damon asks with a small sigh, still seeming tired.

"Don't give up. Don't give up on yourself or Johanna. And don't do anything stupid. Things aren't great right now for any of us, but they can get better. I have to believe that they can get better as long as we keep fighting. As long as we continue to fight and we don't give up, they'll have to get better. So please don't give up, Damon, and don't get yourself killed."

"I'll try not to." Damon answers after a moment, hesitating. "The same for you. Okay?"

Jeremy gives a small nod of his head and begins to walk away. "Okay."

"Jer?" Damon calls out after him.

"Alaric wasn't there." he answers, assuming that was his question. "Lexi said he's just gone. She doesn't know if he passed over or not, but he's gone."

Damon clenches his jaw tightly together. "It wasn't going to ask about that, but thanks for telling me."

"What were you going to say?"

"I'm sorry." Damon answers, avoiding his gaze for a moment. "For everything. With Johanna. All of this..I'm sorry."

"I know you are." he remains still for a moment, before nodding his head and turning to walk away.

The silence stays with Jeremy as he follows the path down to Martin's room, entering to find him standing by the edge of this bed, scrawling something down on to a piece of paper. He enters the room and listens as Martin begins to speak, offering him advice, and knowledge, on what to do and how to help.

Jeremy takes in all of the information, and when Martin is finished with the piece of paper in his hands, he takes the paper from him and allows his eyes to skim over it briefly, before he puts it into the back pocket of his jeans and listens as Martin continues to speak while packing. It doesn't take Martin long to finish packing, he's already got his belongings packed away, and soon the two of them are downstairs waiting by the door.

"Aren't you going to say goodbye to Sam?" Jeremy asks, when they reach the door.

Martin shakes his head and pulls the door open, peering outside before looking back to Jeremy. He puts down his back, reaches into it and pulls on his black leather jacket. "No, I already did that. I told him I'd be back, we didn't say goodbye. We don't say goodbyes."

"You don't say goodbyes?"

"No." he answers.

"Why?"

Martin looks up at him briefly, before picking up his bags. "Because then it's not a goodbye."

Jeremy nods, looking up to the stairs when he sees movement from the corner of his eyes. Damon's walking down the stairs with a black bag in his hands; he's wearing clean clothes, a dark red shirt, black jeans and a black leather jacket.

"You have blood, right?" Damon asks. "Because I'm going to be a huge-"

"Yes, I have blood." Martin answers. "Can we get this going? It's going to be light out in a few hours, and we've got a lot of ground to cover."

"You're driving the whole way?" Jeremy asks.

Damon nods. "Why not? What sounds better for Martin then spending a long car trip with your sick, humanity less daughter's boyfriend? The same guy who you just attacked you and someone close to you?"

Martin looks unimpressed and annoyed as he speaks. "Get in the car, Damon."

"Right. See you kid. Don't burn the house down. Don't let Enzo out. Don't let anybody in. And, uh..Don't ruin anything. I'm talking expensive, irreplaceable furniture. And the rug. Don't ruin that rug." Damon nods, and starts to walk down the stairs, stopping only for a moment. "Oh, and don't get yourself killed. Because if you let any of the above things happen, I'll want to kill you myself."

Martin stares after Damon as he begins walking to his car. "We're taking my car. Nice try, Damon." he calls out, then looks to Jeremy. "Take care of yourself. Sam too. I'm counting on you. And I know that I can, because you seem like a good kid."

"I'll take care of him." Jeremy nods reassuringly.

"Thanks." Martin says, nodding and almost offering him a half smile. He turns around and finds Damon walking towards his car, and speaks. "If you think you're driving you're wrong. My car, my rules."

"That's hardly fair-"

"Shut up and get in the car." Martin calls out, turning to walk down to the car.

Damon looks up from where he stands, catching Jeremy's gaze. "This is going to be fun."

"We wouldn't be doing this if you hadn't sent my daughter running." Martin responds, walking closer. He still sounds annoyed, and looks beyond unimpressed. "I don't care if this is fun, we're doing this and you're going to shut your mouth if you have nothing productive to add to the conversation."

Damon groans and gets inside the car. "Just kill me now."

"Don't tempt me, Damon." Martin answers, joining him in the car.

Jeremy watches from the stairs, not envious at all. He gives them a small wave as the car spins around, and leaves the house. His eyes linger on the lights of the car as it slowly begins to disappear, and an odd feeling of sadness sweeps over Jeremy – he feels lonely too. Everyone he knows is slowly leaving the town. They may be leaving for different reasons, and he does understand why they're going, but they're almost all gone, and he can't fight the strong feelings of loneliness that come over him.

Sometime later Jeremy returns inside, closing the large wooden door and turning around to face the inside of the large, empty house. The silence amplifies his loneliness and pushes him upstairs, to the bedroom where Sam is resting. The lights are all out when he enters, the candles still burning in the room and providing enough light for them to see each other.

"They're gone." Sam murmurs quietly, not having the strength to repeat himself if his words go unheard.

They don't pass unheard, though, because Jeremy catches them and responds a moment later as he takes small, cautious steps inside the room. "Yes, they just left. I think Martin might kill Damon in a few minutes though."

Silence returns and Jeremy sighs quietly, his eyes glancing up to where Sam is stretched out on the bed, a few blankets pulled up around him but not touching him. He's lying flat on his back still, his arms spread out, his head resting on a large pillow.

"So, the beds here..They're crazy, right?" Jeremy says, trying to talk about something that will distract Sam. "I mean, I've never been in a bed so big until I came to stay here."

"Mm." he responds weakly, a few minutes later.

"If you don't feel like company I can leave, but-"

Sam doesn't respond immediately, but he doesn't take as long to answer. "Thanks."

"Okay." Jeremy answers quietly, hesitating. "If you need anything just call out. Or call me, or something. I have my phone, and you have yours right there..On the nightstand."

After receiving only silence from Sam, not that he'd expected more, Jeremy steps out of Sam's room and turns to walk down the hallway to his bedroom, only to hear a knocking on the front door that causes him to return downstairs. He reaches for the door handle and pulls it open, relieved when he finds Meredith standing on the opposite side of the door with a few bags in her hands. She manages a small, weak smile as she steps inside. Jeremy takes her bags off of her for a moment, holding them as she shuts the door and locks it.

"Hey, Jeremy. I thought you were going with them." Meredith says, and smiles at him.

Jeremy nods, then gives a slight shrug of his shoulders. "I was but the plans changed. It's – It's complicated."

"You want to talk about it?" she asks, removing the scarf from around her neck and folding it in her hands. "It's not like we don't have anytime."

"Sure. I'll just show you to your room, and then we'll go down to the kitchen?" he suggests, because the kitchen is faraway from Sam's room and won't bring him any noise.

"I can make us a coffee or hot chocolate. If they have any supplies here.."

"They do. Yeah, Johanna liked having coffee some mornings, I think. Martin got some supplies the other morning too." Jeremy says, trailing off for a moment. He looks up and smiles sadly. "Let me show you to your room, then we can talk."

Meredith gives a slight nod of her head and follows him down past the library and to a bedroom on the first level of the house. "You're up late. Or early, I guess. I wasn't going to come over this soon, but I was on my way home from work and Damon sent me a text. He told me to come over now, and I already had my bags packed.."

"It was a last minute decision for them to leave now."

"I thought so." she nods, stepping inside the room. "This is really nice."

Jeremy nods the head, eyes skimming the room but not really paying attention to it. "I know."

Meredith glances up at him. "How's Enzo?"

"I only went down to see him today. Well, I was there to see Martin. They were arguing about the amount of blood he should have." Jeremy answers, pausing. "I know that he's dangerous and all, but I really don't think that it's a good idea for him to be chained up again after what he went through."

"I don't think it's a good idea either, but right now I don't see that we have another choice. Cedric said..." Meredith stops abruptly, frowning to herself. She looks up at Jeremy and forces a small smile. "I'm working on a way to fix this, Jeremy."

"How?" he asks, following her as they return to the hallway.

They begin to walk towards the kitchen side by side, and somehow the big, empty, silent house doesn't feel so bad anymore, he doesn't feel so lonely in it right now, but he knows that when he returns to his room that the loneliness will come back.

"I know a few people who owe me some favours. I'm tracking down Natasha. She's the daughter of the-"

"People that infected and almost killed Damon and Johanna?" Jeremy asks. "The same ones that tortured Cedric?"

Meredith nods and looks forward, as they walk towards the direction of the kitchen. "Yes, she's their daughter. I don't know if she knows what they were doing, but she might know, and if we find her then she may be able to get a cure."

"Why would she do that? Why would she help vampires get a cure? She probably hates them too. She's probably just going to try to kill them too. Can we risk that?"

"I didn't say she'd do it willingly, and if she doesn't there are ways to force her to help."

A slight frown almost forms on Jeremy's face as he takes in these words, and after a moment of thinking about them he speaks. "How can we force her to help? You mean compulsion, right? Well that won't work if she's on vervain, and we don't have Johanna to override the vervain."

"We put her in a cell. Bleed her out of vervain, then compel her." Meredith answers, her voice calm as she looks up at him. "If you have any other ideas, I'd love to hear him. But that is the best one that I can find. Damon and Johanna are both sick. Yes, they've been compelled not to feed but how long is that going to last? It won't last. It will wear off. They are genetically modified rippers. The compulsion will wear off eventually. And Enzo, he's just a ripper waiting to be let out of his cage and kill everyone. We know his first target will be Damon. The infection spreads through bites, so Caroline, Elena, Stefan and even Tyler are at risk. We do what we have to do to keep them alive."

"How close are you to finding her?" Jeremy asks, nodding his head slowly.

"Tomorrow I should have more, solid information on her and her last known whereabouts. Once I have that we can act from there."

"I appreciate you doing that. Finding help. I would, but..."

"I know, you've had a lot going on, Jeremy." she reaches out, touching his arm gently.

Jeremy leads the way inside the kitchen and begins to pull out two mugs, and the other items he'll need to create a coffee for them. He watches briefly as Meredith moves to lean against a bench, folding her arms over the black shirt she's wearing.

"Have you, uh.." she pauses, swallowing tightly. "Have you heard from Cedric at all, since it all happened?"

"No." Jeremy answers, looking up at her again. "No, I haven't. I tried calling him twice, but he didn't answer so I figured he didn't want to talk. Have you?"

Meredith glances up and shakes her head. "I don't think he wants space. It doesn't make sense that he would fight on our side, on your side, and then just disappear. It doesn't make any sense, not for him, not after what he did for us."

"He did it before." Jeremy answers. "It's not that hard to believe that he wouldn't do it again."

"No, before he was captured by the Institution. He didn't leave willingly."

"I think we both can agree that we don't know Cedric. Yeah, he did something good by working with us when the veil went down. He helped a lot. I don't know if we'd all be alive if it wasn't for him, but we don't know him. Not really. So we can't really say he wouldn't just disappear, because he could."

"You might think you don't know him, and I'm not saying that I do, but after what he and I.." she stops, glancing away briefly. "After what we all went through at the Grill, I feel like we do know him. He was brave, and he showed that he could be good, and he's already shown us all that he's more than Klaus' loyal hybrid. He's not that anymore. He's loyal but not to Klaus."

"If he was loyal then he'd be here." Jeremy answers. "If he was good, he wouldn't abandon us all."

"Jeremy, that's not fair."

"Actually it is fair, Meredith. It is. We need as much help as we can get right now. With Johanna being missing, sick, and without her humanity. Damon is going off the rails. Stefan is gone, no one knows where he is or how he's doing. Elena and Bonnie had to leave because they were too stressed out and emotionally drained to handle this. The same with Caroline. Matt almost died and now he's on his way to Venice with the vampire responsible for killing Alaric. And Alaric? Well, Lexi thinks he passed over. She thinks he passed over because he's gone, and I think he passed over too. And that means he's really gone. He's gone, Meredith. They're all gone."

Meredith walks closer to him, but when she reaches out to try to touch his shoulder reassuringly he pulls back, then looks away. "You're not alone, Jeremy."

"Well it feels like I am, like I deserve to be."

"You don't deserve to be alone." she says comfortingly, but her words go unanswered.

"I don't really feel like coffee anymore, I think I'm going to go to bed." he answers, handing her the mug. "Enjoy yours. I'll see you in the morning."

"Jeremy, please." Meredith calls out, moving to follow him.

Jeremy steps away, shaking his head as he slowly begins to leave the room. "I'm sorry. Enjoy your coffee. Eat whatever you want. I'll see you in the morning after I get some sleep. Oh, and could you do me a favour? Try to be quiet. Sam is sick upstairs, and he needs to sleep."

"Sam?" Meredith checks, pausing. "He's sick? With what?"

"Fibromyalgia."

"Ohh." she sighs, her hand moving to her chest. "How long has he had it for? Is he on medication?"

"I don't know how long he's had it. A few years, I think. And yes, he's on a lot of meds but Damon...He and Damon got into an argument. Damon dislocated his shoulder, and fed from him pretty badly. He was fine for the first few minutes after that, but when we came to check on him he was lying on the bathroom floor. He couldn't – He didn't want to get up, but Damon moved him to the bed and now he's sleeping. So, please be quiet. He needs sleep and he just wants to be alone right now.

The sound of someone knocking on the front door catches their attention, and prevents Meredith from responding to all of the information that Jeremy has just given her. She looks to Jeremy, frowning as she sets her mug down on the bench.

"Are you expecting anyone else?"

He shakes his head slightly. "Uh, no. Tyler's sleeping, he wasn't going to come by. He's staying at his place. And Damon wouldn't knock."

The knocking on the door stops and is replaced by the sound of someone rattling the door, shaking it, trying to open it. Meredith and Jeremy move quickly to the door, stopping right outside of it. They share a look before opening the door.

Jeremy's expression falls flat and is replaced with a deep look of confusion. "Katherine?"

Standing weakly outside of the door, with messy hair, hollow cheeks and a tired look on her face, Katherine grips on to the door frame and tries to pull herself upwards. She slips a little, but ends up resting against the door.

"Katherine?" Meredith frowns too, an uncertain look on her face. "What are you doing here?"

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asks, glancing at Meredith before looking to Jeremy. "Both of you. This isn't your house."

"Who are you looking for? Damon or Stefan?" Meredith asks, folding her arms across her chest. "Even if they were here they wouldn't invite you in, and you have to be invited in to come inside."

Katherine rolls her eyes and looks to Jeremy. "Is the deed in your name, little Gilbert?"

Jeremy clenches his jaw together before speaking. "What do you want, Katherine? And why do you look so gross?"

"As flattering as that is, I don't have time for small talk. What I need is a vampire, and fast. So go find one and let me inside."

Meredith shakes her head, speaking firmly. "I'm sorry but we're out of vampires, Katherine, and we don't have time for you."

Katherine's eyes slowly dart towards Meredith and she frowns, unimpressed. "What do you mean you're out of vampires? How is that possible? You can't be out of vampires."

"They're all gone for now. That's what it means. Goodbye, Katherine." Meredith responds and moves to closer the door.

Katherine speaks loudly, almost shouting the words. "I know what happened to Cedric."

Meredith stops herself from closing the door entirely and looks up, quickly pulling the door open and meeting Katherine's gaze. She can't determine whether Katherine is being sincere or not, but she knows she's probably lying.

"What did you just say?" Meredith asks slowly, words quiet.

"I said..." Katherine trails off, lips almost curving up into a smile. "I know what happened to your boy Cedric. He is gorgeous, by the way. Beautiful cheekbones. Great hair. He is incredible. It's a shame, what happened to him."

Jeremy shares a look with Meredith before he takes a step closer. "Do you know where Cedric is? Katherine, if you know you have to tell us."

"Actually, I don't have to tell you anything.." she pauses, sighing quietly. "But I could tell you where he is and what happened to him, if you let me inside."

"No." Meredith answers. "You're lying, and even if you're not lying you're too dangerous."

Jeremy shakes his head. "What if she knows where he is?"

"What if she doesn't?"

"You want to know where he is, Jeremy? You want to know what happened, don't you?" Katherine asks, tilting her head to the side. "Well, I want to be let inside. And I want vampire blood."

"Why do you need vampire blood?" Meredith looks to her. "Katherine, you're a..."

The words get caught in her throat as Meredith takes another, closer look over Katherine. Her disheveled appearance isn't just her messy hair or thin cheeks. There are bruises on her skin, and fresh cuts that haven't healed. They haven't healed.

Meredith lifts her gaze from the cut, and looks to Katherine. She holds her gaze for a moment before speaking.

"You're human."

Katherine seems to flinch upon hearing the word, and then tries to straighten herself up. "Human or not, I'm still Katherine Pierce and I'll still-"

"You're human." Jeremy echoes, disbelieving. "That means..That means you took the cure. We were right, you took it."

"What you think happened and how it actually went down are two very different things, little Gilbert. Let me inside. Give me some vampire blood, and I'll tell you what happened. I'll even tell you what happened to Cedric, just because I care."

"Jeremy, I don't think-" Meredith begins, only to be cut across.

"You can come inside, Katherine."

Meredith sighs and lifts her hand to her forehead, rubbing at the skin anxiously. "That's – Thank you, Jeremy. Thank you for letting us talk about this. You're not the only person living in this house."

"You don't live here."

"He's right, you don't." Katherine answers, swinging a heel over the border of the house. She steps inside and looks around, smiling to herself. "But I could see myself living here. Without the Damon and Stefan here it feels..Like an improvement already."

"You're not living here." Jeremy answers firmly.

"The blood, little Gilbert?"

Meredith looks away from Katherine and to Jeremy for a moment. "There aren't any vampires here, Jeremy. I don't know where you're going to get vampire blood from." Meredith answers, arms folded across her chest.

"Damon got some from Rebekah. There's some down in the freezer, I'll go get it. Watch her." Jeremy says, then turns away.

Meredith looks to Katherine, her arms still folded across her chest. "You get the blood, you tell us what you said you would, and then you are gone."

"Fine by me. I never could stand your company." Katherine answers, eyes skimming over Meredith. "I don't know what it was, but it was something about you I couldn't stand. Maybe it was because you were so...Desperately human."

"Desperately human?" Meredith responds, raising her eyebrows slightly. "What does that mean, Katherine?"

"It means you tried to fix everything and everyone. You tried to fix situations, and save people, when the human side of you knows that it's all futile." Katherine answers, taking a few more steps inside before she walks down the stairs. "You will live and you will die. But me? I'll be a vampire again, and I'll live for eternity. I'll watch your generations fade out, if you have any, and I'll live how I should."

"I feel sorry for you. You are so scared of feeling something that you've turned yourself into someone cold and heartless." Meredith answers, following her down the stairs. "Yes, I will live and one day I will die, but at least my life will have been for something. At least I will be able to look back on all of my achievements and see that is what I did. That is how I spent my life. Saving lives. Helping people. Fixing things. I did something good. I fixed things. But you..What have you done with your hundreds of years of existence, Katherine? What have you done?"

"I've-" Katherine opens her mouth.

"Nothing." Meredith cuts across her, voice louder. "You've done nothing. Yes, you've traveled the world. You've seen it change over the years, and that's great. But what else have you done, apart from play with people's emotions? Create conflicts between brothers and try to draw it out for years? You're so desperate to be important when you know that you're not. And that, Katherine, is desperation."

Katherine's expression hardens for a moment, before disappearing, only to be replaced with an insincere smile. "Cedric's gone. He couldn't stand to be around you all, so he left. He ran, because he hated all of you. He hates being human. He hates humans. That's what happened."

Meredith shakes her head, not faltering."You're lying. You don't know Cedric, and you don't know what you're talking about."

"You're all alone. I can see it, I know it. I know loneliness well." Katherine answers, voice lower, darkness. "And you'll always be alone, because you might pretend that you don't like it that way, but you do. You like it. You lost Cedric. You lost Alaric too. You'll keep losing everyone that you care about because even though you think you do enough, you don't. You never do enough."

"You know what? Forget it." Jeremy calls out, drawing the attention on to him. "Forget the blood. I'm not helping you. You don't deserve help. You need to get out of the house now."

"Well, that's too late, little Gilbert." Katherine says with another insincere smile, spinning around to face him. "You already invited me in, and unless the two of you are planning on dragging me outside.."

"You think we wouldn't?" Meredith asks, taking a step closer. "You're only human, Katherine. And since you apparently told me about Cedric's whereabouts, what else do you have to offer? Nothing. You have nothing."

"I know the truth about Cedric."

"You keep saying that, but there's no reason we should believe that. You're a liar. And you just can't stop yourself from hurting others." Jeremy answers, shaking his head.

Katherine swallows tightly, her eyes shifting between Meredith and Jeremy. "I took the cure."

Jeremy continues to shake his head as he walks closer. "We know you did, because you're selfish. You're selfish and you can't-"

"I didn't take it willingly." Katherine responds, the words coming out shakier. "He forced me to take it."

Meredith raises her eyebrows, unconvinced. "Who did?"

For a split second Katherine almost looks scared as she speaks. "Silas."

Jeremy's eyes widen slightly. "Silas?"

"Yes. He wanted..He wants the doppelgängers gone."

"That's not true. He wanted to be human. You're lying again, Katherine." Meredith responds. "You heard Jeremy, it's time for you to leave now."

"It's not just one dose."

"What do you mean?" Jeremy asks, voice slightly quieter.

"There's more than one dose of the cure, okay? Now, I'll have the blood." she says, extending her hand to him. "I will tell you everything you need to know, but my – I'm human, and it's catching up to me. I can barely stand most of the time. My memory is foggy, and my head hurts. Let me turn. Let me take this blood and turn into a vampire again, and I swear, I'll tell you all of it. The truth."

"Why should we believe you? Why should we believe that you're telling the truth?"

"Because you're right, Meredith. You're right. I have nothing." Katherine answers, sighing loudly. "I have nothing to lose. I need that blood. I need to be a vampire again. I can't be like this. I can't. Or I have nothing."

Jeremy hesitates before looking to Meredith, who gives a very subtle nod of her head, indicating that she agrees they should do this, if only to get information from her. They don't have any other choice right now, so Jeremy extends the blood bag from Katherine, who takes it and then struggles to tear it open.

"Stupid. Bag." Katherine mutters, trying to open it.

"Here."

Meredith takes the bag and opens it easily, returning it to Katherine who presses it to her lips and begins to drink some of the contents. It all seems to be going as it should for a moment, until Katherine drops the bag of blood and it spills all over the rug on the floor. Jeremy looks down at the rug and remembers Damon's words, but his thoughts are interrupted as Katherine begins to choke. She staggers back, seeming like she might fall, so Jeremy moves and helps her to stand up. Her hands shake and she continues to choke, the veins on her face and neck throbbing.

"What is it, Katherine? What's wrong?" he asks.

Katherine stops choking and ends up vomiting out all of the blood, her knees apparently going weak on her as she begins to fall down to the floor. Jeremy stops her from hitting the ground and tries to keep her upright, but her body convulses on more time before going rigid in his arms.

* * *

**A/N: **Hi! Sorry I took so long...I know you're probably missing Johanna at the moment, I am too - She'll be back soon, and that's all I'll say on that. Thanks for reading and reviewing, I appreciate it all! Thank you Taylorocks17 & Adela for your reviews.

**Adela chapter 11: **Thanks, Adela. Enjoy the new one.

**x**


	13. Stories

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampires Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

There are tiny cracks of sunlight dancing on the stained carpet when Stefan's eyes settle upon it, a slight frown coming to his face as he realizes that he's still in bed, and that it's the early morning, at least seven am by now. He looks down at himself and then back at the room, which is lit up by the sunlight seeping in through the old curtains. The sound of someone else breathing reminds him of the events of last night and he turns around, finding Charlotte in the bed next to him.

He tenses up immediately, noticing that the bruises and markings on her skin are worse than they were the night before, they've grown darker, larger. She seems peaceful though as she rests, oblivious, the fragments of light falling down on her and bouncing off her curled hair and closed eyes. Stefan watches her for a moment before he carefully removes himself from the bed, not wanting to wake her. He pulls the blankets back up around her and walks away quietly, silently relieved that he hasn't woken her from her sleep as he closes the door to the motel and steps out on to the empty balcony.

The sky is light outside and in the distance Stefan can hear the faraway sounds of people leaving their houses to start their days, and others just reaching their home for the night. He reaches into the pocket of his pants and pulls out his phone, finding more missed calls and messages, that he chooses to just ignore. But he can't ignore the thoughts rushing through his mind, and there are so many rushing through his head at the moment. With a small sigh, Stefan sets his arms down on the railing and puts his head into his hands for a moment. He thinks of his brother, Johanna, Elena and Charlotte, and he shuts his eyes to try to keep the thoughts out but it doesn't work, it never works, not for long, and not when he's not busy.

Charlotte is still sleeping in his bed when he returns to his room, reaching for the keys to the car he'd acquired for himself. He picks them up and leaves the room, shutting the door and walking down to his car. It doesn't take him long to get what he needs from the store and the bakery, and soon he is back at the motel, walking up the stairs to his room. The room is still silent when Stefan returns to it and he finds Charlotte is resting peacefully in the bed, and for a moment he is happy to see her sleeping, and then he closes the door a little too loudly and she jolts away.

"I don't -" she stops, frowning as she sits up in bed. Her eyes skim the room briefly before moving towards Stefan, who has entered the room and is holding out a brown bag as an offering. The frown on her face remains, but the flash of fear that had briefly darted across it is gone now.

"Peace offering for waking you." he answers, walking towards the bed.

Charlotte almost smiles before frowning. "I slept – Oh, right. Right." she says, pausing as she swallows thickly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.."

"No, it's okay. I said that you could. Remember?"

"Was that before or after that super hot sex we had?" Charlotte asks, moving so she's sitting upright. She looks up at Stefan who is silent, and raises an eyebrow expectantly. "What, it wasn't hot for you?"

"Uh, it wasn't – It wasn't real, Charlotte. You must have had a dream about that." Stefan answers slowly, hesitating. "You're screwing with me, aren't you?"

"Of course I am. That's our thing." she answers. "So what's in the bag? Gimme."

"Croissants." he answers, shaking the bag a little.

"Ohh. Croissants. Yum." Charlotte smiles. "And what is that in those cups? Is that coffee?"

"Yes, it is. I figured you might have a little hangover."

"Oh, yeah." she nods, pulling back the blankets and standing from the bed. "I've got a headache but I feel okay. How about you?"

Stefan nods, walking closer to the bed, until he's standing near it. "I'm okay."

"You look better than I feel."

He sighs a little and looks down at her. "You don't look so bad."

Charlotte half-smiles. "Mind if I use the bathroom before we dig in?"

"No, I don't mind."

"What made you think of getting croissants?" she asks, before closing the bathroom door.

"I thought you might be hungry. And I just had the idea." Stefan answers, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

A minute later Charlotte returns, quiet as she moves to sit back down on the bed, where she'd been sitting before. She pulls the blankets up to cover her legs, wincing slightly as she sits down.

"I forgot." she admits, looking up at him. "I mean, I forgot..When I first woke up it wasn't the first thing that entered my head. You know how you have that first though? Yeah, well mine wasn't that."

Stefan nods, understanding her. "What was it?"

"You." Charlotte answers with a small smile, taking the mug of coffee from his hands.

Stefan looks down at the cup in his hand and drinks from it, before looking up at her. He keeps his thoughts and his words to himself, he keeps what he'd rather say to himself, and focuses on something else. "How are you feeling this morning? You, er..You look better."

Charlotte scoffs, and reaches for the bag of croissants. "No, I don't."

"You do." he insists. "I mean it."

"I just saw my reflection." she responds. "I know what I look like. I saw the bruises, and when I – I saw my legs. It's not good. You're a nice guy who lies to make people feel better. It's not a good combination, because how nice you are makes the lies really obvious."

"Well you can't always count on your reflect or what you see through your own eyes. Things always look worse when you're looking at them yourself."

"You're very sweet for..." Charlotte pauses, trailing off. "I don't know what time it is."

Stefan checks his phone then glances up. "It's eight in the morning."

"You're very sweet for eight in the morning." she says softly, drinking some more coffee.

"I'm not trying to be. I'm just being nice."

She smiles, nodding at him slowly as she tears of the end of the croissant and chews on it. "Mmmm. This is good." Charlotte comments between mouthfuls of food.

Stefan smiles and leans back on the bed a little, drinking from the warm mug of coffee in his hands. "Is it? Good, I'm glad."

"Why aren't you eating? I thought you could eat food."

"I'm sorry?"

"I mean, I know you can eat food because I've seen you eat food in the diner. And you ate food last night." Charlotte answers, eating the croissant. You just aren't hungry for food right now, mm?"

The frown remains on Stefan's face, but he fixes a crooked smile on his face in hopes to ease the tension. "I don't understand what you're saying."

"You want blood more than food, right?" she asks, and looks up at him casually.

The smile on Stefan's face falters for a moment before vanishing from his face entirely, and it is soon replaced by a deeper frown. He opens his lips to respond then stops, pausing before finally speaking.

"I'm sorry?" Stefan asks, swallowing thickly. "What did you just say?"

Charlotte's expression is unwavering. "You know what I just said. You're a vampire, Stefan, and you need blood. I'm not stupid."

"I am so confused right now." he shakes his head, moving to set the mug of coffee down on the table. He turns back to face her, confused. "How – How.."

"I know about vampires. How do you think my shoulder got healed so quickly?"

The frown remains intact on Stefan's face as he watches her. "What?"

"David, the doctor. He has vampire blood. Well, he's low on it. But he keeps some in stock to heal his patients, if it's really bad. That's what he uses with me sometimes, but he gets a little annoyed because I use it too much and he runs out."

"David?" Stefan echoes, confused.

"Yes, David. The doctor I was seeing at the hospital, when you were there being all silent and starey. He is also my godfather. He knew my mother. It's complicated." she answers, looking up at him again. "Please don't make this awkward, Stefan. I just thought it was finally time to let the cat out of the bag. And by cat, I mean the vampire."

"I just – I can't understand this." he shakes his head, looking at her closely. "You know I'm a vampire? You've known this whole time? How did you know?"

"I didn't know the whole time. The way you broke Evan's hand after he..Well, that was one sign. Super strength. I can just tell, I guess. I'm good at reading people."

Stefan looks to the door, and then to Charlotte. "I think you should leave."

"Really?" she asks, frowning as she moves to set her coffee and bag of croissants down on the nightstand beside her. "Are you kidding, Stefan?"

"How – Why are you so normal about this? Most people, they freak out about this kind of stuff."

Charlotte gives a slight shrug of her shoulders. "I'm not like most people, I guess."

Stefan shakes his head, looking at her with a stern look on his face. "Charlotte."

"Stefan." she answers, standing from the bed.

"I think you need to leave."

"I think you need to stop freaking out and acting like I'm the one who told you I was a vampire. I'm not freaked out by this, I told you what David does. I knew a vampire once. I know about all that..Supernatural stuff. David told me about a lot of things."

"You don't know anything, Charlotte. You might think that you do, but you don't."

Charlotte fakes a smile, tilting her head to the side slightly. "That's great, but that's your opinion. You don't know what I think or what I don't think."

"You need to leave." he answers, holding her gaze.

She fights the urge to roll her eyes and holds his gaze steady. "Really? You're sending me away because you're a vampire? That's a little confusing."

Stefan continues watching her. "I don't see how it's confusing."

"You'd think I'd be freaked out by what you are, or that I'd want to leave. But I don't. Hmm."

"Charlotte. You don't-"

"Stop. Just stop talking for a minute. You're so much cuter when you're not talking, and repeating the same bullshit over and over. Here's the truth, Stefan: You're a good guy. You're good, and you've been kind to me, and that is what matters to me. And the rest? I couldn't really care about it. But I care about you. So get over the weirdness. Let me eat my croissant in peace, and get over this. Okay?"

"Why would you want to be around me?" Stefan asks.

Charlotte returns to the bed, sitting down on it and reaching for her coffee. "You're a good guy. You're funny, and sometimes nice-"

"And dangerous." he cuts across her. "You're forgetting that part."

"No, I'm not. I'm not forgetting anything. You just don't seem so bad."

Stefan continues to watch her, his arms folding across his chest for a moment. "Well, I am. The thing is, you don't know me. So you don't know what I've done, or what I'm capable of doing. You think I'm not dangerous, but you're wrong. All vampires are dangerous, even the good ones."

"You keep saying that, but I don't see it. You keep saying you're bad but I don't see that. I don't see any bad in you. I just see a good guy, struggling with a lot of things. That's what I see."

"Come on." Stefan takes the mug from her, setting it down on the nightstand. He puts his hand around hers and leads her into the bathroom, letting go of her hand once they're inside. "Look."

Charlotte frowns slightly as she follows his gaze to a pile of bloody clothes on the floor. There's dried blood on the tiles around them, and a little blood on the floor. She frowns even more and looks up at him.

"It's blood."

"After I walked you home last night I was walking back to the motel, and I ran into a group of guys. Evan was there. He had his arm in a sling. I don't remember it clearly. All that I remember was that they tried shoving me, which did nothing because.." Stefan stops, looking at her. "They were talking about you too. Especially Evan. He was drunk, and saying all the things that he would do to you once he was done with me. So they stabbed me with a knife, and they tried to beat me. I ripped Evan's throat out, and I attacked his friends. They're not dead, only Evan is. His friends..I compelled them to lie about what happened. But he's dead, and I did that because I'm a monster. I'm a vampire and vampires are monsters."

Stefan watches as Charlotte takes a step away from him, her eyes focusing on the bloody clothes, and they linger their for a moment before she looks back up at him.

"When I was fourteen years old Evan shoved me down in the dirt, and tried to – Well. He tried to hurt me, and my brother got to the park just in time to beat the shit out of him. He tried again when I was sixteen. I took care of that myself with a good kick to the crotch. He tried to touch a girl in high-school but they didn't charge him. They twisted it and made it seem like her fault, and she had to move because there are really screwed up people in this town who made fun of her, and mocked her. He's touched other girls but no one believes them. His family has connections to the police. The town love him because he's a football player. You didn't do anything wrong. You did a good thing, and I only wish someone had stepped up and stopped him from hurting people sooner."

The air between them becomes silent after Charlotte has finished speaking, and she looks away from Stefan, redirecting her gaze to her hands which are clasped together. She unfolds them and puts them down by her side, looking up at Stefan.

"I should – You were right, I should go." she says quickly, turning to leave the room.

Stefan sighs and quickly follows her, catching her hand before she can walk away any further. She looks back at him, glancing at his hand holding hers before returning his gaze. Charlotte doesn't remove her hand from his, and she doesn't back away, she just watches him.

"I'm sorry, for what people have done, what they've gotten away with." Stefan says quietly, voice lower. "And I'm sorry for what you've been through. You deserve so much better."

"The good people deserve better. But we always lose, don't we?"

He nods sadly, still holding her hand. "Yes, we do. That's just how it is. We lose a lot, but that doesn't mean that we don't come back from it. It doesn't mean that we don't fight for more, or that we shouldn't. You should never stop fighting, Charlotte. You're so much better than this town. You're so much better than who you've been allowed to become."

Charlotte squeezes Stefan's hand lightly, her fingers brushing against his. "You're so much better than you think you are, and I wish you could see it. I wish you could see what I already see. And I know you've done bad things, or you think you have, but you said it yourself – We get to come back from what we've done. If we can admit what we've done, if we can try to fix it, then we can come back."

"I working on myself. That's the whole point of..." Stefan murmurs, trailing off briefly. "This. To work on myself. To work things out."

"And how's that going for you?"

"Not so good." he answers, removing his hand from hers slowly.

"I know why that is." Charlotte answers quietly. "You're trying to work it out on your own. You don't have any support from your family, from your brother, or friends. How do you expect to work it all out on your own? Well it's simple, you can't. Not until you forgive yourself, and not until you fix things with your brother, and whoever else you feel like you need to fix things with."

"You can be wise sometimes. And so can I." Stefan says, looking down at her again, connecting their gaze. "You need to get out of this town one day. You can't stay here forever, it's not good for you. This isn't the place for you to be, I can see it."

"Where do you think I should be?" she asks, still quiet.

"Not here. Not with Steven, and with people like Evan."

"I can't leave my brother-"

"He already left you, Charlotte. He's not here. You owe him nothing." Stefan answers, walking closer. "And you owe Steven nothing. You owe so much more to yourself than you're allowing yourself to have. I'm standing here right now and I see you. I see your bruises and your cuts. I see your injuries, and I'm telling you that you deserve so much better than this."

Charlotte hesitates for half a second, before she takes a step closer and crushes her lips against his, her hand moving to his cheek. At first Stefan is surprised by this, and he almost pulls away, but then he relaxes into the kiss, he relaxes in to her touch, and then he's kissing her back with an unknown eagerness. Stefan pulls back briefly, his breathing a little heavier as he looks down at Charlotte, whose hand is still pressed against his cheek. She holds his gaze for a moment before smiling a little, uncertainly.

The corners of Stefan's mouth tug into a smile and he kisses her, smiling into the kiss, one hand moving to her cheek and the other moving to her waist. One of her hands remains on his cheek while the other slides down to his chest, fingers gripping lightly at the fabric of his shirt. Stefan pulls her closer, his hand sliding around her waist, digging into her skin slightly.

"Mmmm." Stefan pulls back, still holding her closely. "That was..That was. Wow."

"Good wow?" she asks, smiling up at him.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. The good kind." he answers quietly, smiling at her a little.

Charlotte smiles, biting down on to her bottom lip before speaking. "It was the good kind for me too. Yeah."

"You, uh..." he stops, unsure.

"You want try it again? Just to make sure."

"Okay." Stefan answers, hands quickly moving back to her cheeks as he pulls her in for a kiss.

Charlotte slips her hands around his neck, kissing him back eagerly, her body pressing against his until she begins to lean back against the mattress. She ends up lying down on the bed with Stefan lying down on top of her, his hand uncertain, still resting on her side. She takes his hand while they're kissing and moves it to the bare skin of her thigh that's showing, because she's still only wearing his baggy shirt from the night before. He smooths his hand up her thigh as she pulls back, touching her hand to his cheek.

"I'm sorry. Was that – That was too much. Too soon. I'm sorry."

"I put your hand there." Charlotte smiles at him, propping herself up slightly.

"I know, but then..." he trails off, quietly.

"I just wanted to stop and look at you."

Stefan watches her quietly for a moment before he speaks. "You want to know the first thing I thought of when I woke up? In that second before you really think about anything?"

She nods, curious. "Sure. What was it?"

"You." Stefan admits, feeling an odd feeling of nerves come over him as he speaks, but it soon disappears when he sees the smile lingering on her lips. "And then I turned around and you were there, and I can't remember feeling like that in a long time."

Charlotte's light eyes rest on him for a moment before her lips curve up into a soft smile. "Feeling like what?" she asks softly.

"Happy."

"You deserve it." she answers, pulling her hand off his chest. "You mind if we just stay here for a while? It's nice."

Stefan stretches out next to her, linking his hands together and placing them beneath his head. He looks down at her and half-smiles. "That's fine with me. I'm not doing anything today."

"I was supposed to have croissants with this hottie, but I like you more." Charlotte says, pulling the baggy shirt she's wearing down, to cover her stomach where it had slipped up.

"Is that so?" he looks down at her, amused.

Charlotte nods, smiling a little. "It is. You're a good kisser."

"Uh..You two. Yeah."

"Don't go weird." she smiles more, still watching him.

Stefan almost smiles and looks away from her, only briefly. "I'm not, I just-"

"You got out of something serious, I know."

"No, I think I've..." he stops, considering the words silently before speaking. "I think I've been out of that relationship longer than I realised. And I just realised that now."

"Really?" she looks up, her eyebrows slightly raised. "What happened?"

"Long story."

Charlotte hums to herself and rolls over, so she's facing Stefan. She stretches out a little on the bed and looks down at him. "I have an idea."

Stefan sighs quietly and rolls over on to his side, propping himself up with his elbow, so that it's supporting his head. He looks at her, and smiles. "Is it a good one?"

"Is that a trick question? All of my ideas are good ones."

"Just tell me the idea before I agree to that." he answers, a hint of a smile returning to his lips.

"Okay, okay. My idea is..We say one thing about ourselves at a time. Like I tell you something about myself, then you tell me something about yourself. How's that sound to you?"

"Not bad at all." Stefan nods. "You go first."

"No, you go. I thought of it. You go first." Charlotte insists, still watching him closely.

Stefan sighs, thinking about it for a moment before speaking. "Okay. I was turned into a vampire in 1864."

"Wow." she pulls a face, then laughs. "I just made out with a grandpa."

"I'm not a – I never had children, or grandchildren, so I can't be a grandpa. And I haven't aged since then, so I'm not a grandpa, as you kindly put it."

Charlotte pouts, watching him closely. "Sensitive about your age?"

"No, I am – I'm not sensitive about my age."

"Okay." she smiles, sighing. "You told me something, I'll tell you something. I lied earlier. Sometimes I practice ballet when I'm by myself. I don't do it often, but sometimes I do."

"I'm fluent in French, Italian and Latin."

"Vous êtes un menteur." she says, eyebrows raised.

Stefan smirks and leans in closer. "Je ne suis pas un menteur, idiote."

Charlotte sits up more, grinning for a moment, before she lightly smacks his shoulder. "I'm not an idiot. You're an idiot."

"How did you learn French?" he asks, watching her with a deep curiosity and interest.

She shrugs her shoulders, and smiles. "I had a lot of spare time when I was younger. I read a lot. I taught myself, David helped too."

"David's your godfather, right?"

"Avete davvero parlare italiano?" Charlotte asks.

Stefan gives a slight nod of his head. "Sì."

"Dammi di più."

Stefan considers this before speaking with a softer, lower voice. "Sei molto bella."

Charlotte leans back, so she's resting on her back again. She sighs and looks up at him, brushing the curls out of her face with her hand. "You must call all the girls beautiful in Italian."

"No, actually, I don't." he answers quietly, honestly.

"That makes me feel special."

"Mmm." he answers, pausing. "Charlotte, I think-"

Stefan is silenced by the sound of his phone ringing and he reaches into his pocket, pulling it out to find Elena calling. He looks to Charlotte then quickly stands from the bed, gesturing to his phone and then to the door.

"I just – I have to take this. I'll be right back."

"Okay." Charlotte smiles faintly, watching after him as he disappears from the room.

When he steps out on to the empty balcony Stefan closes the door and answers his phone, pressing it to his ear to answer it. Ten minutes later he returns inside, their conversation finished for now. He finds Charlotte sitting on the edge of the bed, drinking some coffee.

"Isn't that cold?" Stefan asks, shutting the door as he enters.

"No, it's okay." she answers, setting it down. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, that was..That was fine. It's okay. I just.." Stefan trails off, pausing. "There's something I have to do today, so.."

"So?" she asks, then realizes. "Oh, you want me to leave?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I just...Like I said, there's something that came up."

Charlotte stares at him for a moment before nodding, glancing away. She presses her lips together tightly as she stands from the bed, eyes skimming the room for her clothes. She finds her torn skirt and pulls it on, before looking up at Stefan.

"I can't wear that shirt back, or everyone will..."

"No, that's fine. Keep the shirt."

"Okay." Charlotte answers, frowning slightly. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I just need you to go, because I have stuff to do."

Charlotte looks up as she pulls her shoes on. "Stuff?"

"Mhm. But I'll see you later, maybe?" he says, but his words come across as empty.

"Oh, yeah. Later. Let's do that." Charlotte answers, her words coming out quiet. She reaches for her phone and her bag and begins walking towards the door, stopping when she reaches it. "Thanks for everything, Stefan."

In response, Stefan gives a nod of his head but says nothing. He simply watches as she looks away from him and leaves the motel, allowing the door to slam shut behind her. When she's gone Stefan sighs and returns to the bed, putting his hands in his head once he's seated. He draws in a deep sigh of air and leans back on the bed, stretching out on it as the thoughts he'd been trying to avoid all this time come rushing in, and he can't fight them this time.

* * *

"How many more hours left?" Damon asks, growing as he leans against the car.

Martin looks up from where he's lighting the cigarette and remains silent, inhaling on the smoke, and then exhaling on it a moment later. He turns his head out to the empty road, before finally looking back to where Damon stands.

"A few more."

"Thanks for that long dramatic pause, just to tell me that. That was really underwhelming." Damon answers as he retrieves his phone from the pocket of his pants, his eyes skimming over it briefly before he shoves it back into his pocket.

"Still no word from Johanna?"

"Do you really think the first person she's going to call is her boyfriend? The same boyfriend who inadvertently forced her to turn her humanity off?"

"You weren't the first person she called." Martin points out, blowing out smoke. "She called Jeremy first. You're forgetting that."

"No, I'm not. I'm choosing to ignore that the dumbass missed what could be her only call."

"She's not going to be gone forever, Damon." he sighs, taking a few steps back towards the car. "You know that, don't you? She's a vampire, you're a vampire. You're going to live forever. You'll see her again."

Damon sighs, looking down at the ground for a moment. "I don't know about that. She's good at running. And from me, I think she'd run forever."

"I don't think so."

"Well, you don't really know the small details of our relationship."

"Then tell me." Martin answers. "Tell me something I don't know."

"You don't want to know."

"Yes, I do. Actually, I want to know. So tell me something." Martin insists, tilting his head to the side.

"Okay. The sex was incredible. Best sex of my entire life, and I've lived a very long time. We only did it a dozen times, Johanna and I, but it was...By far the best I have ever had. Your daughter is phenomenal in the sack, Marty. Is that something you wanted to know? You know a detail now. Is that better?"

Martin is silent for a few minutes, and when he finally answers his voice is significantly lower. "Maybe Johanna won't have to run from you for eternity. I might kill you now and save her the trouble of running."

"You wanted to know something, Martin, and I told you. I'm not lying. She's the best I-"

"Shut up and get in the car, Damon. You want to hit the road again? Go. I need one minute before I get back in that tiny box with you. I need a moment to stop myself from killing you. And no, you're not driving. My car, my rules, my music."

"Great." Damon murmurs, returning to the car, slamming the door shut once he's inside.

A few minutes later Martin appears on the driver's side, opening the door and getting inside. He moves his bag to the back-seat of his truck and starts up the engine, pulling the car back out on to the road.

"Only about three hours left." Martin answers after a moment, eyes focused on the road. "We've made it this far without me killing you. Don't push me to do it in the last three hours."

"Do you think she'll still be in Boston? Or is all of this a waste?" Damon asks when two minutes of silence pass. He looks out of the window, staring at the road as they pass it. "I don't know if she'll be there. I want her to be, but I don't know. I really don't know."

"I don't know if she'll be there, Damon. I don't know why she would choose to go back there."

"Not exactly a happy place for her?"

"No, there were happy memories. They weren't all happy though." Martin answers quietly, his gaze still fixated on the road ahead of them.

"Not all of them can be happy." Damon murmurs, looking away from the window. His eyes briefly glance to Martin before he looks out at the road. "Why didn't you ever go looking for her before? I mean before you came to Mystic Falls and accidentally found her."

"I did."

"She said you didn't. When she came to Mystic Falls, she said she didn't have a family. She said she was all alone, and she was. She was completely alone. You weren't there. She never mentioned you once." Damon says quietly, staring at the road. "Why didn't you look?"

"I did look. I looked for her, but she was hard to find. And then when I found her, I didn't have the courage to do anything about it." Martin admits, voice quieter. "I made a lot of mistakes when she was a child. I wasn't there, and when I was, I wasn't a great father. I screwed up a lot. I didn't deserve my children."

"Speaking of your children..." Damon trails off briefly. "Any word from the crazy one?"

"No, I'm not in contact with Max under normal circumstances. Sometimes he'd contact me, usually when he needed something. But no, I haven't seen him in a few days."

"I can't say that I won't kill him when I see him. And I'm just being honest with you, Martin. He hurt Matt, and he forced Johanna to turn her humanity off. So when I see him, I might not be able to stop myself from ripping his heart out of his chest."

Martin tenses up, and his knuckles turn whiter as he holds on to the wheel. "I know what Max is, and what he's capable of being. But I remember him as a child, I remember when he was different. I won't let you hurt any of my children again."

"Johanna was right when she said you didn't put her first. You don't."

"I don't put my children in order."

"No, but if you did, who would it be? Max, Alaric, then Johanna? Or would you even bother putting the last two there? Max is a psycho, and it is going to take every bit of self-control that I have not to kill him when I see him." Damon snaps, voice growing louder. "And I'm sorry if you don't like that, but that's just who I am."

"Have you had children, Damon? Are you a father? Have you ever been one?" Martin asks, voice still loud, still tense.

"No. The whole vampire-thing doesn't allow me to procreate. I don't see how that has anything to do with this-"

"If you could have children, and you did. Let's say you and Johanna had three beautiful children. They were human, and they were alive, and at one point they were all so happy and so free. And then slowly, over the years, you could see them beginning to change. They started to shift from the happy, bright children to...Empty, broken adults. And then they weren't human before. None of them were human. And they were taken from you. I've lost two sons, Damon. The other two are vampires. I'm not going to lose anymore children. I will always do anything that I can to keep my children safe, because no matter what they do, or who they are, they will always be my children. And if you don't like that I'm sorry, that's just who I am."

Damon clenches his jaw together tightly and allows his eyes to gaze back out on to the thought, his thoughts returning to Johanna, always of Johanna. His eyes close for a moment and he almost sees her, but then she disappears again, as she always disappears from his memory, and he opens his eyes to the empty road.

"It's not the same, but I...I feel like that with my brother. He could do the worst thing in the world, and I wouldn't let anyone hurt him." Damon admits quietly, still staring off into the distance. "He could do the worst thing, and I would still do whatever I could to keep him safe. I'll always keep him safe."

"So, why don't you call him Damon? Ask him to come back?" Martin asks after a minute.

"Because this is what he needs, this is what he wants. He chose to leave. No one asked him to leave, no one pushed him from the town, he left and if that's what he needs then I understand that."

"You're not mad at him for leaving anymore?"

"I was never mad." he answers, still looking out at the road. "I was broken, because I needed him and he left me without looking back. He hasn't called. He hasn't tried. I was broken. I am broken, and even if he comes back, we'll be broken and I don't know if we can fix it."

"I'm sure you've been through worse." Martin reassures him. "I'm sure that you can find your way back from this, and help each other. You're brothers, you care about each other. That's the important thing here, that's what matters."

"You're right, Stefan and I have been through worse than this. Much worse. But this is still different. Somehow this feels like the worst to me. It feels..Like I'm broken, and I don't want him to come back and try to fix things. Because I begged him to stay and he left me, and I can't go back to that. I can't go back to how we were. We were making progress for the first time in centuries, and he abandoned me."

Martin nods in understanding. "I know you don't feel comfortable talking about this, or anything else, so I won't keep pushing you to talk. I'm not good with the whole talking thing so we don't have to do that. But I want you to know this, at the end of it all, and you may face your end one day, Damon. You're eternal, but nothing really lasts for eternity. Does it? Vampires dies, all the same. And your town isn't a safe place for vampires to be. What I was saying was, when it comes down to it...If or when you face the end, it will be you facing it, and you will be facing it alone. At the end you'll realise what time you wasted, who you loved, and who you should have loved more. Don't let your brother go over this, because the day might come when you never get him back."

Damon clenches his jaw tightly, shaking his head slightly, slowly. "You're right, not all vampires will live for eternity. But I will. Johanna will. And I'll make sure that my brother does too, whether we're on good terms or not. That's just how it will be."

"You sound so certain, Damon." he sighs, taking one hand off the wheel briefly, to wipe his forehead.

"Why shouldn't I be? I've never let anyone take my family away from me before, and I'm not about to start now." Damon responds quickly, eyes still focused on the road.

"Sometimes you don't have a choice, and they're just gone. You can fight for them, but it might be for nothing."

"You're talking about your son, right? That's a sad story. Both of them. But the difference between you and me is I didn't leave them. I didn't leave my family, you did."

"Stefan may have been the one to leave you, but you didn't go after him, and you're giving up on him now. I'd call that leaving him." Martin responds quietly, his voice lower. "I just.."

"It's different. You and I are different."

Martin clenches his jaw tightly together before speaking. "We both care about Johanna, so let's focus on that and not talk about anything else."

Damon throws a glance Martin's way before he looks out of the window. "Fine with me."

The silence almost returns to the car, until Damon's car starts to ring in the pocket of his pants. He retrieves it and stares at the screen for a moment, sighing loudly before he answers it. There's already a frown on his face, and he sounds annoyed as he speaks.

"What did you do, Jeremy? Did you ruin the rug? You did. You ruined it." Damon speaks quickly, voice rushed, tense. "I thought I told you-"

Now the silence falls over the car, and instead of speaking on the phone, Damon remains silent and listens, he listens careful to Jeremy's words and when he's finished speaking he replays them in his mind, startled when Jeremy speaks again.

"Yeah, I'm here. I'm here. I don't care that she's human, I don't care that she's sick. She's a psycho bitch and I want her out of my house. I don't care that-" Damon stops, silent again for a few minutes, until he finally speaks. "Vampire blood isn't working? How long does Meredith say she has left?"

Sometime after Damon ends the call, placing the phone back into the pocket of his pants and staring back out at the road, eyes still, lips slightly parted. Martin looks at Damon, then glances away, before eventually looking at him and sighing.

"Something happened to the rug?" Martin asks casually.

"Kind of. It's complicated." Damon answers vaguely.

He looks away again. "It's not like we don't have time."

"You know Katherine? Well, actually, you don't. I don't know if you do. She's kinda my ex. She's my brother's ex too. And she's Elena's doppelgänger . Uhh..She turned Stefan and I into vampires.."

Martin pulls a face, then looks up at Damon. "You're right, that is complicated."

"Oh that's not even the best part." he shakes his head, almost smiling, but it's not a genuine smile.

"What's going on with Katherine?"

"She's human again." Damon says a minute later, the disbelief clear in the words as they escape through his lips. "She said Silas forced her to take the cure, because he's trying to get rid of doppelgängers. Katherine's dying from the cure."

Martin shakes his head, a frown beginning to form on his face. "That's not right, that doesn't make sense. The cure is supposed to cure vampires. Return them to their mortal forms. It shouldn't be killing her, even if she is an old vampire. She shouldn't be dying."

"Well, she is. At my house. She showed up looking for blood, and Jeremy said she choked it up and passed out. She hasn't woken up yet. Meredith is there. Meredith said she's not good, and that it looks like she's dying at a rapid speed."

"How long?"

Damon shrugs his shoulders. "A week, maybe more or maybe less. She doesn't have an estimate right now, but Katherine is dying."

Martin hesitates, unsure of whether he should speak, but he decides to ask this question anyway. "Does this upset you?"

"Katherine's an evil, manipulative bitch who only cares about herself. She's selfish and she's psycho, and she never loved me. She used me, and she broke me. And she screwed up everything with Stefan. We were fine. We were brothers until she came along."

"So, you're happy that she's dying?" Martin casts another brief, side-glance his way.

"I don't know. I don't know how I feel about it, I'm figuring it out." Damon responds, pausing briefly. "Jeremy said that I should come back, but there is no way that I'm going back to see Katherine die when we have a chance of finding Johanna. Katherine never did anything good in her life. Not one thing. If she's really dying, I can't say she didn't get what was coming to her."

"How is she Elena's doppelgänger?"

"What do I look like, a witch?" Damon turns to him, frowning. "I don't know. Go ask some-"

"I was asking about her blood-line. How can she possibly be related to Elena if she's a vampire?"

"She had a child. It was taken from her, and she never knew the child."

Martin releases a deeper sigh, and his expression softens slightly. "You said she never did anything good in her life, but she had a child. Isn't that something good?"

Damon frowns, and the look on his face grows darker, more complex. "Why are you trying to find the good in Katherine?"

"That's not what I'm doing, Damon."

"I think it is, and you can keep doing it but you won't find anything. There's nothing good to her, not anymore. Not for as long as I've known her, and I've known her for a long time."

"She had a child, Damon. That's one thing good that she did with her life, one thing that wasn't about herself. Can't you admit that?"

"She had a child, and then it was taken away from her." Damon snaps back angrily, words a little louder. "She didn't see it again, as far as I know. Having a child doesn't make her less selfish, and it doesn't suddenly make her good."

"Children are-"

"You already gave me that speech, Martin, about how children will always be your children. You'll do whatever you have to do to protect them. I wouldn't know because I never had children. You gave me that speech already, I don't need to hear it again." he says, the words coming out angry, fierce. "And I don't need to hear a lecture from you about Katherine Pierce, because you don't know her, meaning your opinions and thoughts on this are completely irrelevant."

Martin looks to Damon, the expression on his face a sadder one. "One day you'll find yourself wondering what you did to isolate yourself. What you did to make yourself become so alone. And it's this, Damon. It's this. Pushing people away. This is why you will be alone. And unless you change your ways, I'm sorry but that's where you will end."

"I know where my story ends." Damon says, answering almost immediately. "I know how it ends and where. It ends with me dead, and right before that, right before the painful death that I know is coming for me, I am alone. I am alone, and I am empty, and that is how it will end. That is the inevitable, crushing truth that I face every single moment of my pitiful, empty existence. But I face it, and I accept it, and I pretend that it's not coming closer because there are people here that still need my help. And as long as they need my help, I say screw it. Screw where my story ends. I don't need reminders. It's coming, but it's not here yet, and I'll sure as hell keep trying for them until my story's over."

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**A/N: ****I apologise for the late update, I'll try to get the next chapter on sooner. I can't promise anything, but I'm working on it..**

**Thank you Adela & gloria . cuevas 391 for your reviews.**

**Adela - Chapter 12: **Thanks for your review. Jo will be back soon. Enjoy this new one.

**x**


	14. A Memory Of Youth

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampires Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

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When Jeremy enters the large bedroom he finds Katherine lying in bed, the blankets messed up around her, and the glass of water on the nightstand behind her knocked over on the ground. He walks into the bathroom without speaking to her, and then returns to her side, wiping up the water with a towel and picking up the glass.

"You know one of the three things that Damon asked me to do while he was gone? Not get anything on the rugs. You've ruined the rug downstairs, and this one..Well, lucky this is just water."

"Do you think I care about rugs? I'm dying." Katherine retorts, opening her eyes slowly. "And I do not want to remember your face as the last one that I see."

"Charming, as always. How did you sleep? You've been out for a few hours. It's eleven thirty." Jeremy says, folding up the towel and setting it down. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore. My head is pounding, and my ears – They're ringing. I can't even think straight with your heavy breathing. Do you realise how heavy you breathe? Do you have a problem? You should go see a doctor. I don't know where that annoying one is, but you should go find her and leave me alone."

Jeremy hesitates, shaking his head slightly as a look of disbelief begins to spread across his place. "Is this really what you want to do? You want to push away the one person who is here with you on your deathbed?"

"Way to make me feel better, little Gilbert." Katherine responds sarcastically, reaching to pull the blankets up around her. "Like I wasn't already feeling horrible..."

"Here." Jeremy steps forward and reaches for the blankets, pulling them up around her. "Just let me do it. You're pretty much useless, and you already complain enough."

Katherine leans back and with a small frown on her face, she watches as Jeremy fixes up the blankets around her, tucking her in. He reaches out and brushes the hair back off her face, then takes a step back.

"It was sticking to your forehead."

"Don't go getting all weird on me, little Gilbert. I look like your annoying sister."

Jeremy rolls his eyes. "I was trying to do something nice, Katherine. Maybe you just don't know what that is, since you're incapable of being nice."

"You've been around Damon too much." Katherine narrows her eyes. "You're almost starting to sound like him. Eugh. A mini-Damon. I can't imagine one of those half demon creatures running around."

"I'm not becoming like Damon. I'm just stating what's true, Katherine. You're not exactly the nicest person. You're not a nice person at all. You've never been nice to me, or to Elena."

"That is very complicated-"

"I know." Jeremy cuts across her, then nods his head. "I know it is. No one's asking you to be nice, not anymore, Katherine. You don't have much time. Meredith already told you that last night. So, do what you want with the little time with you have left. Don't waste it. And I won't waste it by being here, when you can't even stand the sound of my breathing."

Katherine hesitates, watching as Jeremy takes a few steps away before she calls out. "Your breathing really isn't that bad. It was just the first thing I heard when I woke up, and let's say, I might have preferred to hear someone else's breathing."

"Someone else?" Jeremy turns back, curious. "Like Stefan?"

She presses her lips together before forcing a smile. "He's not with Elena anymore, is he? I guess my opportunity has come, and now it's dying with me."

"Stefan won't answer my calls. I tried to call him, to let him know about your situation, but he didn't answer. The only thing he has answered was about Lexi, and he didn't call back. He just sent a text and now he's ignoring me again."

"Don't take it personally. When Stefan goes off the deep end he cuts everybody off." Katherine answers quietly, pausing. "So what happened this time? I missed all the drama when I was off...Well, I missed it after I took the cure. Unwillingly."

"You haven't talked about that yet. When you woke up Meredith informed you about your condition, about how you were dying, and you just went to sleep. You haven't told me or anyone else about how you took the cure, how Silas is involved, and where Cedric is." Jeremy says, moving to sit down on the edge of the bed. "Start talking, Katherine."

"You said I shouldn't waste my time. Talking about this, that would waste my time."

"Katherine." he sighs, folding his arms.

She looks up at him eyebrows slightly raised, a sad look on her face. "I don't feel that bad right now. Okay? Right now, in this very second, I don't feel bad. Could you please just talking about something else? Just for an hour. All I'm asking for is a distraction, and if you don't want to stay then leave."

Jeremy hesitates, then stammers, unsure if he heard the words correctly. "You want me to stay for an hour? You, Katherine Pierce, want to talk to me?"

"I don't care what you do, I just said that. But if you're going to stay, at least try to be a distraction instead of an annoyance." Katherine answers carelessly, slowly lifting her eyes to meet his.

"We're talking about Cedric at some point." Jeremy says. "You're not getting out of that."

"Why do you care about him?" Katherine asks, leaning back against her pillow more. "I thought you hated him."

"How do you even know him?" he replies with a frown.

"People talk. I talk with people."

Jeremy nods and glances away for a moment, before redirecting his gaze to meet hers again. "Well, I don't hate Cedric. I don't know him well enough to say that I like him, or care about him, but I don't hate him."

Katherine's eyes narrow in on him, and she almost smiles. "You're a bad liar just like Elena. Just like I used to be a long, long time ago."

"I'm not lying." he answers, shaking his head.

"You care. It's written all over your face, baby Gilbert. You care about the big, bad wolf and you want to know where he is. You don't think he's the big, bad wolf at all. Maybe you're right, or maybe you're wrong."

"I'm not arguing about this with you."

Katherine pouts, and closes her eyes for a moment. "So don't argue, and instead tell me why Stefan left town. And where's Damon? You said he was gone, but you never clarified if gone meant that he was dead or out of town."

"Why do you want to know?" he asks, eyes now narrowed on her.

She sighs and keeps her eyes closed, speaking a minute later. "Boredom. Curiosity. If I told you I cared, would you believe that?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. Jeremy answers, then speaks. "Stefan left for a few reasons. It's really complicated."

"It undoubtedly has something to do with Damon, doesn't it?" Katherine asks, and when she receives silence she opens her eyes. "I was right. What did Damon do this time? Did he kiss Elena again? Oh, god. When is everyone going to get off the Elena-Train?"

"That's not what it's about, Katherine, and there's no Elena-Train. It's complicated. Okay? You wouldn't understand."

"Try me." she says, then sighs. "Oh come on, little Gilbert. What happened? What is so bad that it would push Team-Needy-And-Annoying out of Mystic Falls? They're all gone, aren't they? Except you and...?"

"Tyler. Everyone else is gone."

"Let's work through that annoying checklist of people." Katherine insists.

Jeremy releases a sigh. "Damon is not dead, like you said, or like you want him to be. He's gone. Stefan left too. Everyone else is gone, you know that. It's just Tyler left. Me and Tyler. And Meredith. Johanna left. Elena too. And Bonnie, and -"

"Back up. Just a little bit, this is interesting. Why is Johanna gone?" Katherine asks, propping herself up and smiling at him slightly. "And to where has she gone? I thought she was pretty happy here. She hooked up with Damon and moved into the family house pretty soon. This is very interesting."

"She didn't move – Okay. Why do I bother telling you these things? You think you already know her, and you think you already know what's going on, but you don't know." Jeremy snaps back, shaking his head. "You don't know her, Katherine."

"I do, Jeremy. I know her better than you think. I've been alive for centuries. I have seen women just like her, and women greater than her, and I can assure you that they all fade away. If Johanna is gone then good, she wasn't good for Damon or Stefan. She wasn't good for any of you. She was selfish, and boring. So plain. She couldn't hold Damon down, and she couldn't help him."

"You're wrong about her, you didn't even known her. I knew her. Not as well as I would have liked, not as well as I still want to, but I know her better than you ever did and she was not plain or boring. And she was the most selfless person that I've ever met." Jeremy answers, standing from the bed. "You don't know women like her because there aren't women like her. She's brave, and kind, and she is good for Damon. She is better for Damon and Stefan than you ever were, and I think that's why you don't like her. You don't like her because you were never good for them, but she is, and she didn't have to try. She didn't have to compel them to like her, or care about her. That happened naturally. They care about her in ways that they never cared about you, and that's the truth, Katherine."

"The truth is you don't know her half as well as you think you do. You're feeling guilty for what you did to her. And yes, Jeremy, I know all about that. I know all about how you lied to her, all of you. Max told me, and he got that information from sweet Matty Blue eyes, who is just as guilty as the rest of you." Katherine answers harshly, her voice a little louder. "Your guilt clouds your judgement and your perspective of things. Johanna is long gone, and I say good riddance. You don't need someone else around here to worship and cater to."

Jeremy clenches his jaw tightly together as he glances down at the floor, looking away from Katherine for a moment, before he finally meets her gaze. He takes a step closer, then another, stopping only when he reaches the side of the bed.

"You are a...Horrible, lonely person." Jeremy says quietly, a look of anger flashing across his features before fading away. He becomes empty, and his voice is empty too. "I almost felt bad for you, because you were dying. Almost. But I don't feel bad anymore, and I'm not going to wait around for you to tell me the truth about Cedric. You're going to stay in this house, because you're too weak to move, and if you try to move we'll stop you. You're going to stay here until we can get Tyler to come over, and he's going to compel you to tell us everything that you know, and that's just how it's going to be. So sit here. Sit here in this empty room, by yourself, and know that you did this. Because I would've stayed with you, even though I hate you, and I hate what you've done to the people I care about. I would've stayed. That's just who I am, and who you are, what you've done, that's what's led you here. No one else. You did this to yourself, Katherine. I hope you're happy."

The hallway is silent as Jeremy returns to it, closing the door to Katherine's room on his way out. He walks downstairs and to the kitchen where he last left Meredith, finding her there, working out something on a piece of paper. She glances up at him twice before holding his gaze.

"How's Katherine?" Meredith asks, tilting her head. "Any better?"

"No, and her mood is worse. She didn't say anything about Cedric, she just wanted the gossip. I'm going to try to call Tyler again, get him to compel her." Jeremy answers, folding his arms over his chest. "What are you doing?"

"You know that call I told you I was waiting on, from someone that owed me a favour?" she asks, watching as he gives a nod of his head, a confirmation. "Well I just got off the phone, and she gave me a last known address for Natasha. I can go there as soon as I have the time, but I'm not leaving you here alone with Katherine and Enzo."

"Meredith, I can handle myself." Jeremy answers, a slight frown on his features. "I was a Hunter of the Five. I remember all of my skills. I'm more than capable of taking care of myself."

"You'll be alone with Sam too, and you need to take care of him. Katherine and Enzo are dangerous in their own ways. I know you're capable, Jeremy, but I do remember the Grill and I don't want to see that happen to you again. I'll wait until Tyler comes over, or maybe I'll give Liz a call." Meredith pauses, brushing her hair back off of her face. "I don't know what we'll do with this situation. I did some research into her family, and obviously nothing came up about what her parents did in that Institution. It was all kept pretty quiet."

"You shouldn't go there alone. We don't know who Natasha is, what she does, or if she's still involved with all that. We don't know if the Institution is still running, so as much as I want to find a cure, I think we should wait until we have more people around. You're right, we can't leave Enzo and Katherine alone. Sam isn't safe with them here either."

"I agree with that, Jeremy, I do. But if Natasha is there, if there is a chance that we can find her and get a cure for Johanna, Enzo and Damon – Don't you think we have to take the risk?"

"Is it worth risking your life?" Jeremy asks quietly.

Meredith gives a nod of her head, not hesitating, not pretending to even consider his words. She already knows the answer to this. "Yes, right now it is. Because they're all dangerous enough as vampires as it is. Genetically modified rippers are even more powerful and dangerous. They have the potential to spread the virus with a bite, and they can take the head clean off a vampire with their teeth. We saw what Damon did to..We saw what Damon did. Now imagine that for some reason Cedric's compulsion on Johanna wears off, and she's alone. She's a vampire alone, with her humanity off, and she's a ripper. We don't know what she will be like with her humanity off, because everyone is different, but she is a threat to all vampires right now. Elena included. You want to keep Elena safe? And everyone else too? Well we need to find the cure then, and we need to stop the three of them from the harm that they could potentially do."

"This is important but you're important too." Jeremy answers with a slight shake of his head. "You're life is important. And right now they're not threats. Enzo isn't a threat locked up in the cells. Damon isn't a threat, while he's under Johanna's compulsion and by Martin's side. And Johanna was compelled by Cedric, so she's not going to-"

"Compulsions last until the vampire or hybrid is dead. We don't know where Cedric is, and as much as I know we don't want to consider this possibility, he might be dead." Meredith says, her voice turning softer. "We don't know where he is, Jeremy. It's been days since anyone has seen him or had contact with him. Katherine knows something about what happened to him. What if she knows that he's dead?"

Jeremy nods and unfolds his arms, his eyes still closely set on her. "We don't even know that Katherine knows anythings. She's manipulative and she's a liar. I called Tyler but he's not picking up. I can't exactly leave to go over there, can I? I mean, you're right, we can't leave Enzo and Katherine alone."

"I'll go see Tyler, you stay here. You have weapons, don't you? I mean, Damon and Stefan must have a lot of them in this house. Right?" Meredith asks. "I just stayed in my room last night. I haven't been anywhere else in this house, really."

"They have some, yeah, but before Johanna left she gave my some weapons and stuff."

Meredith looks back, curious. "She did? What weapons?"

"A few guns. A crossbow. Some stakes. Her car is loaded out there. Her car is..." Jeremy stops, trailing off. "Her car is out there."

"I know, it's right next to the fountain. It's been there the whole time. She didn't take it with her wherever she went." Meredith responds, and begins to walk out of the kitchen. She reaches for her handbag and her car keys, looking up at Jeremy. "Before you snoop through her car, which I don't really think she'd appreciate, you should wait to hear back from Martin and Damon. They might find her today, Jeremy."

"You think so?"

"I think there's a big chance that they will." she answers, and smiles faintly. "I've got to go now. Be safe here. If you need me call me."

"You too." Jeremy nods and calls out after he as she leaves.

He spends a few more minutes in the kitchen, fixing himself some cereal for breakfast, and then getting a bowl for Sam. The house is silent again as he returns to the stairs, walking up them quickly and heading in the direction of Sam's bedroom, he hasn't seen him all morning and isn't sure if he's still sleeping, but he decides now is the best time to look.

After gently tapping on the outside of the door and receiving a muffled, low response, Jeremy pushes open the door and steps inside with the bowl of cereal in his hands. His eyes skim over the room, which is almost in complete darkness, with the exception of a lamp on the bedside. The candles have all been blown out, or have burnt out, and the curtains are still pulled across to prevent any light from entering. Jeremy's eyes readjust to the room as he closes the door behind him and turns back, searching for Sam, and he finds him just where he left him.

Sam is still lying flat on his back on the bed, his arm by his side, legs stretched out comfortably. His eyes are open this time, and they're set on Jeremy, as he walks closer. Jeremy coughs to clear his throat and walks forward a little faster.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you if you were sleeping." Jeremy says, carrying the bowl towards the bed and eventually setting it down on the nightstand. "How are you feeling? I can go, if you like. I just wanted to see how you were doing. Meredith said she hadn't been in to look on you yet, so I thought I'd do that quickly. This is the first time I've been in, just so you don't think I'm like, watching you while you sleep or anything."

"I didn't think that." Sam answers, shifting his gaze towards Jeremy.

Jeremy frowns slightly, confused, forgetting what he just said. "What?"

"I didn't think you were watching me, until you just said that." he says quietly a moment later, voice low, rougher than usual. "Don't be weird, please."

"What? I'm not being weird. That wasn't me being weird. I'm not weird." Jeremy replies quickly, a little too quickly. He looks away from Sam then back to him, sighing. "I'm really not being weird, Sam."

"Liar." Sam manages to say, before a quiet sigh escapes through his pale lips. "You're weird because you know."

"Know what?"

"You know that I'm sick. It happened with Martin. I've been here before."

"I'm not weird because you're sick, Sam. Okay? Please, don't stress yourself by getting emotional. Martin gave me a list of things to do-"

"Stop. Just stop talking." Sam shuts his eyes for a moment, his hand curling up into a fist by his side. He stays this way for a few minutes, before finally opening his eyes. "I live with this everyday. I don't need to talk about it everyday too."

"I just..I had a few questions, but forget it."

"Sit down and ask." Sam answers, moving to sit up straighter on the bed. "Let's get this over with."

"Hey." Jeremy steps closer, his hand moving out to Sam before he stops. "I'll help however I can. I mean that, I told Martin I would. I want to help, so if you need help sitting up just say so."

"I don't need help sitting up, and I don't need help taking a piss. What I need is to get this conversation with. I'd also like my meds now, please. Nightstand with water. Then my cereal."

After staring at him for a moment, Jeremy nods and quickly returns to the nightstand. He pulls out the note from his pocket and re-reads the part Martin wrote, about Sam's medication. He fixes it up and hands it to Sam, holding the glass of water for him until he has the pills in his mouth. Sam takes the water and swallows slowly, eyes shut as he does, and when he's finished he sighs and stays silent for a minute.

"Cereal?" Jeremy asks, breaking the silence.

"Not yet. Your questions – Go." he responds tiredly, opening his heavy eyes.

Jeremy moves to a spot on the bed near Sam, but not too close to him, because he doesn't want to accidentally cause him pain. He sits down on the bed with a sigh and looks up at Sam, whose eyes are already set on him.

"How long have you had it?"

"Six years."

"I'm so sorry." he answers quietly. "You don't deserve to be in constant pain, no one does."

Sam stares at him for a moment, some kind of sadness sweeping over his face. "No, you're wrong. Some people deserve it."

"People like Damon?" Jeremy asks, almost reluctantly. "I know you hate him-"

"I don't hate him. He doesn't deserve this."

A slight frown forms on Jeremy's lips, and he considers these words carefully, taking them in as he thinks them over. "I thought you hated him?"

"I thought you were asking me questions."

"That was a question." he says, and almost smiles.

Sam almost looks amused, but the look fades from his face quickly and he's left looking exhausted. "I don't hate him. I hate his kind. Vampires. But him? No."

"Not all vampires are the same."

"I'm aware of that." he answers, exhaling quietly. "I remember that he helped, this morning.."

"Are you feeling better? Do you need more medication?" Jeremy pauses, hesitating. "I know Martin set out a specific amount, but it might help if you have more."

"Soon." Sam answers. "I'm okay right now."

"Okay, good. You want your cereal?"

Sam cracks a hint of a smile, and raises his eyebrows slightly. "Are you going to feed it to me?"

"Uhh, I wasn't but if you want me to..." Jeremy stops, standing from the bed. "Sure. I don't mind. I'll feed it to you if you need me to. I'll help however I can."

"I wasn't serious, Jeremy. Just help me sit up, please."

He nods and sets the bowl down again, moving to Sam's side, but he stops when Sam speaks quickly.

"Actually, first. Can you just help me out of this bed? I don't need you to help me take a piss, but I need to get to the bathroom and I feel absolutely exhausted already."

"What is the pain like?" Jeremy asks.

"I'll tell you when I'm back in bed. Just help me now, please."

Jeremy moves to his side, carefully setting his hand down on Sam's back. He gently helps him to stand him from the bed, and once he's standing they take a minute, with Sam leaning most of his weight off on to Jeremy. He shuts his eyes for a moment, exhaling quietly before he opens his eyes and glances down at Jeremy, who's already watching him.

"You're stronger than you look." Sam answers quietly, then the corners of his mouth curve up into a smile. "I'm kidding. It's a joke. You're really muscly and strong."

"Yeah, I was going to say it's kind of hard not to notice. Not that I'm bragging or anything."

"I think you are." Sam's lips curve into a lopsided, weak smile but it's still a smile. "I think you're showing off."

"You don't know what you're saying." Jeremy answers, fighting off his own smile as he helps Sam walk towards the bathroom.

They take small steps towards the bathroom, with Sam leaning most of his weight on to Jeremy, who walks easily and keeps his arm wrapped around Sam's waist. When they reach the bathroom Jeremy reaches to turn the light on, keeping Sam steady at his side as he does. He then looks to Sam and smiles.

"You sure you don't-"

"I'm fine." Sam breaks away from him, unsteady.

The first few steps he takes are unsteady and Jeremy immediately steps forward, a reflex, to help him by placing his hand back on Sam's side. He steadies him up, and then watches on as Sam straightens himself up.

"Thanks." he says, then takes a step forward on his own, walking to the toilet just fine.

Jeremy turns his back on Sam and waits a few minutes, until he's done and washing his hand at the sink. He looks up at his reflection in the mirro and stares at it for a moment; there are dark blue and black bruises forming on the right side of his face, some patches of blood have seeped through the bandage on his neck, and his skin is sickly pale.

"How's your shoulder feel?"

"Mmm." Sam answers, turning to face him. "How do you think?"

"Bad." Jeremy answers quietly.

"It's about as good as I look. Now, let's get me back into bed." Sam answers, walking towards the door. "I don't need your help now, just stay there in case I fall..Or need your help."

"I admire you." Jeremy says, then pauses. "I mean I admire your strength."

Sam doesn't answer until he's reached the bed, and has moved to sit down on it. He sighs and sits down slowly on the edge of the bed, swinging his legs up and reclining back against the large pillow.

"I'm not strong, Jeremy."

"I can see this. I can see you." Jeremy follows him towards the bed, moving to sit down at his feet. He looks up at him, and shakes his head. "You're so strong. I mean, suffering this constant pain and still trying, still living. I admire it and you."

"Could you get me some more pills, please?" he asks quietly.

Jeremy stands from the bed and empties some more pills into his hand, moving to Sam's side with the glass of water in his other hand. He watches as Sam takes them, then gives him to the water to help them down. When he's finished he sets the glass back down and looks back at Sam, his eyes moving to the bloodied bandage on his neck.

"I need to change the bandage on your neck." he points out, noticing how the blood has seeped through.

Without another word Jeremy walks back to the nightstand, silent as his eyes search for the bandages that he soon finds. He returns to the bed with a bowl of water and a cloth, setting it down beside Sam and reaching for the cloth on his neck.

"Stay still." Jeremy says quietly, and pulls away the bandage from his neck as gently as he can. "I don't want to accidentally hurt you."

"You think you'll hurt me?" Sam asks quietly, light eyes trained on him.

Jeremy leans in closer, to look at the wound on his neck. "I won't do it on purpose, but I could do it on accident."

"I think you'll hurt me." Sam says, voice still quiet.

Sam watches as Jeremy reaches for the cloth and dips the end of it into the clean bowl of water, moving forward slowly to wipe away the dried blood from Sam's neck.

"Do you?" Jeremy asks, still wiping the blood away.

"Mhm."

He carries the bowl back to the nightstand. He reminds himself to remove it later, because they probably won't need it again. He returns to Sam's side and dries the wound, before he reaches for the bandage.

"It doesn't look as bad as I thought. It's not bleeding anymore, but I'll put the bandage over it just in case." Jeremy informs him, and slowly places it down on his skin. "So, why do you think that I'll hurt you?"

Sam pauses, considering these words quietly. "I don't know, It's just a feeling I have."

"What kind of feeling?" Jeremy asks, focusing on the bandage as he presses it down over his skin.

"The kind that tells me that.."

"What?" he looks up, curious.

Sam fixes a smile on his face, holding his gaze. "That you'll break my heart."

Jeremy holds his gaze for a minute before quickly looking away. "I'm not going to do that. I don't want to do that."

"Doesn't always matter."

"All done there. It's all cleaned up and bandaged." Jeremy informs him, offering him a small smile. "With some more rest, you'll be fine. Don't push yourself, and don't do anything stupid."

"I'll try. It's hard. I'm just a rock with hair."

A light laugh escapes through Jeremy's lips and he nods his head, the laugh turning into a smile that spreads across his lips and almost lights up his eyes.

"So, uh...You remember that?" he asks, smile still intact.

"Why wouldn't I?" Sam asks quietly. "You said it this morning."

"I thought maybe when you hit your head you'd forgotten it."

"No, I didn't."

"Great." Jeremy nods. "I'm glad you remember it all then."

"Mmm." Sam says, pausing for a minute. "Thank you. For this."

"You deserve help. You shouldn't be alone in this. You're not alone in this, even though Martin is gone. I know you said you don't like me, or trust me, but I want you to know that I'm not going to leave you alone in this. I'll help however I can, even if you don't like it or want it." Jeremy says and moves like he might stand from the bed, stopping when Sam reaches out and catches his hand.

"You know I didn't mean that. I was..Angry. I lash out when I'm angry."

"We all do." Jeremy says quietly, voice rougher. "You don't have to say this now if you don't mean it. You don't have to say anything that you don't mean."

"I do, I mean it. I like you. You're a good guy. And as far as trusting you goes, you've proved yourself today. You think I let anyone else see me like this? No, only you and Martin. And sometimes I'm too stubborn to let Martin help."

"Well I'm glad you let me help. You needed it." he says, stopping briefly. "How do you think Martin and Damon are going?"

"Not sure. You?"

"Oh, I think Damon's dead for sure. Martin would've killed him a lot of times by now, he probably got fed up and did it with a stake." Jeremy's lips curve into a smile as he speaks, and he moves on the bed so he's more comfortable.

"Ow. Don't rock it." Sam scolds him, but there's a smile on his lips too. "Don't rock the bed, okay? Thought you were looking after me, not hurting me."

"Sorry."

"Don't be." he answers quietly, small smile still there.

Jeremy looks back up at him. "Do you think they'll find Johanna?"

"Martin is an..Excellent hunter and tracker. He'll find her eventually. He found Max."

"That was different." Jeremy replies, without doubt and almost instantly. "Damon said that they only found Max because he left them a trail of bodies."

"What, and you don't think Johanna has her own trail of bodies?" Sam lifts his head back, eyebrows slightly raised. "What do you think she's doing, Jeremy? Taking a nice little holiday?"

"No, I don't think that. But I don't think she's leaving a trail of bodies either. I know Johanna-"

"Correction: You knew her. You don't know what she's like without her humanity, none of us do. They're all different. She could leave her own trail of bodies. Or she might deal with it differently. The point is, we won't know until they find her. And I have confidence they will."

"You do?"

Sam nods slightly, then offers him a reassuring smile. "Like I said, Martin's an excellent hunter. I don't know about Damon..But Martin will find her."

"Damon will help however he can, I know he will. He'll do his best."

"I hope so. We have to get her back before it's too late."

* * *

The streets are busy with noise and people as the black truck turns the corner, coming to a stop outside a small brick house, with faded grass and pale white windows. Damon leans forward and looks to the right, inspecting the house.

"This is home?" he asks, looking for confirmation.

Martin shakes his head and gestures to the left, to where the police cars and ambulances are parked out, sirens flashing briefly, men and women in uniforms walking and talking on both sides of the yellow tape surrounding the house. The officers appear to be leaving the scene, with only a few standing around on the grass and near the cars. The ambulance lights up again and pulls out on to the street, driving away from the house. A frown fixes upon Damon's features as he takes in the scene, slowly looking back to Martin, who sits silent in the seat with his hands still clutching the wheel, and the engine still running.

"What's going on? Why are there police here?" Damon frowns, eyes skimming the area. He takes a moment to listen silently, but doesn't catch anything specific. "Is that the house?"

After nodding his head, Martin clenches his jaw and turns off the engine. He looks to Damon before getting out of the car, slamming the door behind him. Damon quickly follows, joining Martin's side silently as the two observe the busy street and the police leaving the house.

Damon's light eyes skim the perimeter, before he looks to Martin and speaks. "I'll go find out what's going on. Stay here. If I need to get us inside, I will."

He walks away from Martin after a moment, moving through the crowds of people that he pays no attention to. His eyes fix on a man in a uniform and he walks up to him, compelling him to tell him about the situation, and when he receives this information he wishes that he hadn't. Shortly after he returns to Martin, who remains where Damon left him, a few feet away from scene. Damon walks up to him slowly, regretfully, each foot feeling heavier than the last. He stops when he reaches Martin, clenching his jaw together as he slowly meets his gaze.

"Is she dead?" Martin asks.

"Your ex-wife?" Damon replies, words low, before he nods his head. "Yeah. They're saying that she killed herself. The officer said that they're closing the scene now. We can get in-"

"Get in? Why?"

Damon looks away from Martin and briefly glances around at the crowd, almost believing he might see a face, her face, but he doesn't. When he looks back to Martin he releases a deep sigh. "I don't know it all, but I know that...Johanna told me about her mother. Not much, but parts. You don't think it's a coincidence that days after Johanna has turned off her humanity, her mom, your ex wife, turns up dead?"

"You said that she killed herself."

"That's what they said. That may not necessarily be what happened."

"No." Martin shakes his head. "My daughter – She wouldn't do this."

"Your ex-wife was a nasty bitch. If I met her, I'd kill her myself. It's not that hard to imagine that Johanna just got here first, is it?"

"We're not having this conversation. My girl, my Johanna, she is not a murderer."

"You can't keep running, Martin. You don't have to like it. You don't have to believe that this is Johanna. And it might not be, there's still the chance that it's not her. There's still a chance that there is though, that this is her work, and you know that, you know it and you're scared. You can't see that she might have done this because she has no humanity. I can see this. I can see her doing this. We won't know for sure until we get inside and take a look."

"My Johanna-" Martin starts.

Damon shakes his head, voice louder. "Is not your Johanna right now. She's not the Johanna you remember from before. She's changed. And right now, without her humanity, she is not the Johanna that I know. That's why we need to go inside and find out if she was here. We need to figure out where she is to stop her before she's too far gone."

"Define: Too far gone." Martin answers, stepping closer. "Is it killing her mother? Does that mean she's too far gone? What's your definition of that, Damon?"

"This may not be her. So quit the hysterics, Martin, and follow me inside." Damon snaps, turning away and towards the house. He compels away any problems, and soon reaches the front door.

Martin follows him, and steps past Damon to open the door and slowly walk inside. Damon's eyes move from the faded brown wallpaper to the dirty white carpet on the floor. The corridor they walk through is small and smells damp, and it leads them to a living room on the left and the kitchen on the right. The living room is filled with old sofas, a wooden table, and a large television sitting on a black stand. The room is a mess, reeking of cigarettes, beer and blood.

There are stains over the carpet and walls in the living room, rubbish and clothes scattered everywhere, on the floor and chairs. There aren't any photographs up, no memories, only bottles and a vase filled with very old flowers. Damon's eyes shift away from the living room and towards the kitchen on the right. The yellow counter-tops are filled with more bottles, more clothes, and rubbish. There's a circle table in the middle of the room with two chairs. A loud whirring noise comes from the fridge, and the clock above ticks loudly in Damon's ears. After his eyes skim the kitchen once more, Damon looks to Martin, who is standing still only a few feet away from him. Martin's eyes are glazed, empty, and his expression is paler.

"We don't know that-"

"I need some air." Martin says, backing away from Damon. "Don't follow me. Not right now. I might kill you."

Damon sighs and takes a step closer. "Martin."

"I mean it, Damon. Respect this. I just need a few minutes in the truck. Come outside, and I'll kill you." he answers quickly, turning away without another glance back and speeding out of the room.

When Damon hears the front door close he releases a sigh and slowly looks back to the kitchen, where he soon reaches the cupboards and skims through them, opening them briefly before closing them. There are still no memories here, no photographs or drawings from her children, nothing.

The house is silent, except for the whirring noise still coming from the fridge. Damon walks slowly over the dirty carpet, his feet leading him back to the hallway and down towards the room with the yellow tape across it. He discovers that this room was a bedroom, with thick curtains and a large bed. He steps beneath the tape and inspects the room briefly, finding no clues. A voice coming from the hallway stops him from moving, and he turns towards the door, finding only emptiness, but the voice returns. Soft and sweet, yet so chilling, so painful.

"Damon?" it calls, and he recognizes it, he longs for it.

This whole time he's been longing to hear her words, to hear his name escaping her lips, to simply hear her. He moves quickly from the room, ducking beneath the tape and stepping out into the corridor. The light in the hallway is darker than he remembers, the wallpaper brighter. He frowns and hears the voice coming from his left, and so he follows the hallway down towards a bedroom on the right.

Damon stops when he reaches the door; there are chips of wood missing from it, and an old, torn banner with two words on it.

**Jo's room.**

He swallows thickly and reaches for the handle, pushing it open and finding the room small and lit up in an orange light. Damon doesn't remember it being this late in the afternoon, but he ignores this, ignores this mistake, and steps inside the room. There's a small bed in the middle of the room, with fluffy blankets and a small pillow. A single teddy bear, torn and broken, then stitched back together, sitting on the bed. There are no other toys in the room. Nothing but the bear.

Damon takes two more steps into the room until he hears the voice again, coming from behind him, barely whispering his name, but he catches it and spins around to find Johanna standing there. When he reaches out to touch her, she takes a step away from him.

"How did you find me?" she asks.

For a moment there is only silence, as Damon struggles to look at her, to speak. His eyes skim over her quickly, wanting to take in everything; she looks the same, just as he remembers her. He stops; this is exactly how she was the last time he saw her. The same clothes. The same look on her face. Everything about her is the same, but it shouldn't be.

"This isn't real." he frowns, reaching out to touch her again.

Her skin is cold beneath his fingers, and he knows now that it's not real. She isn't really here. He doesn't know why he's seeing her, he doesn't understand how this is happening, but it is and a part of him doesn't want to fight it.

"How did you find me?" she repeats, eyes still focused on him.

"We were looking." Damon takes a step closer. "It led us here. Your mother-"

"Is dead."

"Did you kill her?" he asks.

Johanna walks closer, but not close enough, not as close as he wants her to be. "If this isn't real, how are you expecting answers?"

"I don't know. I don't know how this is happening."

"Martin broke your neck." she tells him. "You're dead right now, and all of this is a dream."

"Why did he break my neck?"

"You know the answer to that, Damon."

"I was a pretty big pain in the ass." he answers quietly, looking up at her slowly. "I don't care how you're here, because you're here and this – God. I have missed you so much."

For a moment she is silent, her eyes wandering over him, observing him as he had done to her so quickly the moment that she'd stepped inside the room. "You look tired, Damon. Beyond tired. You look exhausted."

"Do I?"

"You haven't been taking care of yourself." she says, taking a few steps closer. Her eyes skim over him briefly, before meeting his gaze. "You should get some sleep. I'll stay with you."

"I don't need to sleep." Damon answers, but stops as he watches her.

Johanna crosses the room and walks to the other side of the bed, moving to sit on the edge of it. She looks up to him and watches, eyes focused on him and only him as he walks to the bed and sits down, slowly stretching out on it.

"I don't think this is a good idea."

"You're dead right now, Damon. This is what you want. I'm not really here. This is all in your head. So you must think this is a good idea if it's happening."

"I wish it wasn't in my head."

She rolls over on to her side, waiting for Damon to do the same, and he does after a moment. Once he's facing her, Johanna reaches out and puts her hand on his cheek slowly. A shaky, labored sigh escapes Damon's breath as she touches his skin. It feels so real, and he almost convinces himself that it is, but he knows that it's not.

"Why can't you be real?" Damon asks, voice low, pained.

"Because you pushed me away." she answers. "You forced me to turn my humanity off. That's why I'm not here. I could be if you hadn't broken me."

"I didn't – I never wanted to break you."

"You didn't." Johanna removes her hand from his cheek. "You didn't break me, Damon. I was broken years before I met you. You didn't help me, though. You could have helped mend me, but you didn't. You made the cracks worse."

Damon's eyes close when she removes her hand from his cheek, and when they open he finds that Johanna is gone and the room is darker. There's a lamp on the night-stand in the same of a unicorn, and the blankets on the bed have changed. There's a patchy, blue blanket with dogs sewn into parts of it. The pillows are bigger and the teddy bear is still on the bed.

There are noises coming from the kitchen and hallway, and when Damon pulls himself off the bed and moves to stand up he sees a young girl run into the room. She's clutching a pile of books in her hands, and she rushes to shut the door behind her. When she looks up and sees Damon she isn't shocked, she doesn't jump, she just looks at him. That's when Damon knows that he's looking at the younger version of Johanna: her eyes are the same, and she still has some similarities. He's seen pictures of her too, one from Alaric, and this is her.

The younger Johanna runs towards Damon, catching his hand and dragging him towards the warddrobe. She pulls open the door and climbs into it, dragging Damon in too. He tries to fight, to not get inside, but she pulls him in and then shuts the door. Damon sits in the darkness listening to her breathing heaving loudly, and through the darkness he sees as she looks up at him.

"Alaric isn't home yet. He had practice." the girl tells him, voice a whisper, shaking with fear.

Damon opens his mouth to answer but stops at the sound of a loud, aggressive voice coming from the hallway. The younger Johanna jolts beside him, limbs shaking, heart pounding so heavily in her chest that it's all Damon can hear. He looks down as the young Johanna nudges into him, first burying her head into his chest and wrapping her arms around him to shield herself. _He's her shield._

"Don't let her find us." she begs. "Please, please, don't. I'll be good. I'll be so good. I'll do my homework on time, and I won't spill anything in the kitchen again. I'll be good. I won't break anything or talk too loudly. I won't talk at all. I'll be so good, I promise. Don't let her find me."

The door is rammed open and slammed against the wall, and Johanna jumps next to Damon, hands shaking as she holds him tighter. Damon puts his hand around her protectively, hoping that this will end, but he knows that it won't, and it won't end well. Silence follows for a moment, but doesn't last, and the door is torn open and a woman is revealed to be standing there. Her dark hair a thick mess, eyes blue and empty, she lunges forward. The woman grabs Johanna by the ponytail and rips her out of the there, the books she had been clutching to her chest falling everywhere, scattering on the ground.

Johanna cries and beg her mother, trying to break away, pleading that she'll be good as she tries to kneel on the ground. Damon jumps out and tries to stop it, tries to free Johanna, but when he reaches out to touch her it isn't enough. His hand goes straight through her, straight through the air, and then he realises that she can't see him anymore. Damon is helpless as Johanna's mother beats her, drags her up from the floor and tears the last book in her hands out of her arms. She throws it away, knocking the unicorn light to the ground and breaking it.

"Stop it. Stop! Stop hurting her!" Damon shouts, but his words aren't heard.

This is a memory after all, it's already happened, the pain has already been felt, and there is nothing that he can do but stop it. He closes his eyes and tries to block out the screaming and the crying, and it works, but when he opens his eyes he finds himself in the living room.

A bottle smashes in the kitchen and he walks into it, finding a much younger Martin attempting to pull glass shards out of his hand. Johanna's mother leaves the room, storming outside, car keys in one hand and a bottle in the other. Damon watches Martin for a moment, before he looks and sees a younger version of Alaric slowly creeping down the hallway. He has a bruised eye, and is carrying a book in his hand.

"Dad?"

Martin looks up. "Alaric. Son, I thought-"

"I heard her leave." Alaric answers. "When are we leaving? You said last week that we would be gone by now."

"It's not as simple as that." Martin moves to the sink and picks up a glass, filling it with water and downing a large handful of pills.

"It is. If you care about someone, you put them first. You figure out a way to make it simple. We have to put Johanna first."

"You know I care, son. I do. But I told you, I'm still working things out. Okay? Your mother is sick. You know that, she's very sick. And I'm figuring out a way to fix all of this, so just give me time."

Damon looks away from Alaric slowly and stops as he notices a figure in the hallway – a young Johanna, the same one that he saw earlier, hiding behind the corner of a wall. She looks at him before turning and walking towards the front door, and almost against his will, Damon follows. He leaves the memories of Alaric and Martin in the kitchen and follows Johanna outside, to a garden. She's sitting on the stairs of the house, books on her lap, beaded bracelets on her wrists.

"Why didn't you help us?" she asks, without looking at Damon.

He sits down beside her slowly, looking ahead at the small patch of grass before the road. Across the road, across the street, is a small park where one of the stories Johanna told him earlier took place.

"You said you were looking for me." the younger Johanna says, voice quiet. "Why didn't you kill my mother?"

"I didn't know-"

"You didn't want to know."

"If I had known that this was happening, I would have done something. I would've helped."

_**"Liar." **_The words echoes through the wind, chilling him right down to his bones.

The light around him suddenly turns brighter, the grass fades, the surroundings chance, and the road that he'd been staring at returns to how it was in reality. Across the road from the house, in the park, Damon spots a figure. He spots Johanna. Damon gets to his feet immediately and speeds forward, but when he reaches the road she's gone. Reality sets in, and he almost gets hit by an oncoming car. When Damon looks back his eyes readjust to the daylight, and the first thing that he notices is Martin's car is gone. Martin left him.

The house is empty, the street empty too, and all that Damon can think about is how it wasn't real but it was. He reaches for his phone and pulls it out of his pocket, dialing Martin's number but receiving no answer. He curses and tries again, and again, but gets nothing. Damon tries Johanna's number next, but isn't surprised when she doesn't answer.

Jeremy picks up on the first ring. _"Damon, what's wrong? Did something happen?"_

"She was here, Jeremy. I think Johanna was here. I didn't – I think I saw her, but she's gone now."

"_Wait, what? What are you talking about?"_

Damon nods quickly, breathing slightly heavy as his eyes continue to search the areas around him, still in search of Johanna, despite knowing that it's futile. "I think. It's all – It's all very confusing, and I need to check a few things with Martin first. But I think that she was here, and she gave me a dream."

"_A dream? Damon, you're not making sense."_

"Vampires can project things on to other vampires and people. Dreams. False memories. You know that already. I think Johanna did that to me. She was here, Jeremy. We're close. I think she was trying to send me a message. I just need to find Martin. He's not answering, and I didn't know who to call."

"_Oh, that's great, Damon. Did you get what you needed?" Jeremy asks, his voice projecting a false calmness._

"What?"

"_Uh-huh. Sure, I can check your room for that."_

"My room? What the hell are you talking about?" Damon snaps back angrily, growing impatient. "Stay out of my room, you'll ruin something. We don't have time to waste on whatever you're doing."

"_I'm on my way now."_

"What are you talking about? On your way to where?"

"_Did you really want me to talk about how you lost Martin in front of Sam? He doesn't need that on top of being sick." Jeremy speaks a moment later. "What happened? How did you lose Martin?"_

"This stays between us. I don't want anyone else knowing until we figure it out."

"_Okay. It stays between us."_

After exhaling quietly, Damon runs a hand over his face and drops it to his side. "I think Johanna killed her mother."

"_What? Johanna killed her mother?" Jeremy shouts back._

"Speak louder, idiot. I don't think all of Mystic Falls heard you."

"_Johanna killed – No."_

"Well, here's the thing, Jeremy. When we got to Johanna's old house there were cops and paramedics and they said that Johanna's mother killed herself. But I don't think she did, because if Johanna gave me that dream that meant she was nearby. She was here."

"_What was the dream about?" Jeremy asks, only to receive silence. "Damon?"_

"That doesn't concern you. I'm just letting you know that we're getting close. I have to go, but first tell me how's the situation there?"

"_Sam is getting better, I think. The rest is doing him good. And Katherine is...Still dying."_

"Did she say how she took the cure?" Damon asks. "And how Cedric was involved?"

"_No. Not yet, I-"_

"Figure it out. I gotta go find Martin and deal with this. Text me if you need me. Only call if it's important. I want to keep the line clear in case Johanna calls."

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry this took me a little longer to post..Here it is. I hope you like it. We're nearing the end of the Brave Ones, meaning that any questions you have about Johanna and where she is, where Cedric is, how Katherine is involved and so on will all be answered soon. Other hints I can give you are..There is more to Charlotte than meets the eye. You'll eventually learn more about her, and her family, because a lot of that remains a mystery. The Salvatore brothers will meet again under.. Surprising circumstances. Someone who has been gone from town for a while will return. And you haven't seen the last of the Rosenbergs...

This chapter has a big focus on Jeremy, and that's because I've got some interesting things planned for him coming up. Also, his interactions with Katherine and Sam work very well in my opinion. You be the judge of that and let me know what you think! This chapter also has a big focus on Damon, you'll know what I mean after you've read it. Chapter 15 has a pretty big focus on Stefan and Charlotte, so that's why you're getting so much of Jeremy and Damon in this one.

Feedback is always appreciated. I'll try to update the next chapter sooner but I'm really busy right now, so I can't promise anything. Any suggestions or thoughts please share them. Enjoy.

**Thank you Adela, Taylorocks17 and twin of a sister for your reviews. **

**Adela chapter 13: Thank you, Adela!**

**x**


	15. Fallen

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampires Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

"Wait, go back a little, Jeremy. Go back." Meredith calls out to the phone, eyes focused on the road ahead of her as she directs the car down the next lane, on the right. "Damon thinks he found Johanna but he's not sure, it could have been a dream, and now he's lost Martin. Is that right?"

"_Yeah, that's pretty much it."_

Meredith releases a sigh and tries to keep her frustrations hidden, because she knows that they are all doing the best that they can given the situation they're in, but this doesn't feel like progress, it doesn't feel like they've done any progress. They're all stuck, wanting to fix things, wanting it to change, but not having the ability to make it change.

"That doesn't sound like progress, Jeremy." she admits after a moment, keeping the rest inside.

"_If Johanna was there that means she's looking, right? That means it could be progress."_

"What about the alternative, Jeremy?""

"_What's the alternative?" he responds almost instantly, a defensive tone now clear in his voice._

"Damon has been infected with a genetically modified Ripper compound. Johanna is infected too, because of him." Meredith responds quietly. "There are bound to be side-effects. Hallucinations could very well be a side-effect."

"_You think he's making it up?"_

"If he is, I don't think he's doing it intentionally. I think he misses Johanna so much that it hurts, and that he could imagine her being there even if she wasn't."

"_You don't think she's there?"_

"I think that a humanity free Johanna wouldn't be bothered following Damon and taunting him with a dream."

"_Or maybe that's exactly what she'd do. The thing is, we don't know what she'd do and we don't know what she's like without her humanity."_

"You make a good point, Jeremy. I'm almost at the location. I'll call you when I'm done, and we'll talk about this when I get home. Okay?"

"_Okay. Be safe, yeah? And if you need anything, just call me. I'll keep my phone on me. I know you're strong, but the Rosenbergs are crazy. Be careful."_

Meredith smiles a little as she pulls the car to a stop on the road. "I'll be fine, Jeremy. But you better keep that phone nearby in case you need anything. Make sure Katherine doesn't pull any stunts."

"_I will."_

"Okay, bye." she says, and after he's said goodbye she ends the call, placing her phone in the pocket of her jacket.

The street is empty and quiet as Meredith steps out of her car, closing the door behind her. She stretches her legs and walks around to the back of the car, pulling out a few weapons and hiding them on her, all the while her eyes continue to search the area. The two level house, with white paint and a dark brown fence is the only house for miles. It's isolated, and deserted, and there are no cars or vehicles near it. The front garden of the house seems well taken care of, as does the land surrounding it. Meredith walks in the direction of the house quickly, determined to get some answers. She pushes open the front gate and closes it after entering, following the path up the wooden stairs and to the large glass front door.

The door is locked when she reaches for it, and after fidgeting with it, and trying to open it, Meredith gives up and decides to walk around to the back of the house. She follows the dark brown porch around to the side of the house and finds a window open. After peering inside she discovers that it leads to the kitchen, so she pushes it up and slips inside, one leg at a time, until she's seated on the counter.

Meredith's feet hit the ground lightly as she bounces down off the counter-top, taking one step at a time through the kitchen and out to the large living room; There's a lavish couch in the center of the room, with armchairs beside it, and a fireplace in front of them. Bookshelves line one of the walls, and against the other wall is a cabinet filled with bottles of alcohol. The house is cold and silent, and Meredith decides to move quicker. She passes the living room and moves towards the set of stairs that will lead her upstairs, moving up them quickly and silently. Upstairs she only finds bedrooms, bathrooms, and a study. There are other small rooms, another library, but nothing of importance is found in any of these rooms.

After returning downstairs and to the living room, Meredith takes a quick look around at the rooms on the lower level, but again, she finds nothing of significance. Until she walks across the rug in the living room and hears the slightest noise – the unmistakable sound of something creaking, something that doesn't sound like a floorboard creaking, but like a hinge. Meredith moves to the ground quickly, pulling back the rug and discovering a door underneath it – A door leading down. She reaches for her phone and pulls it out, quickly dialing Jeremy's number.

"Jeremy, I think I found something. I don't know what it will lead to, but I need to stay on the phone with you in case something happens. Okay?"

"_In case something happens? What's going on-" Jeremy begins, nervous, sounding panicked._

"It's okay, Jeremy. I'm fine. But I want you to know that I haven't found anything in the house yet until now. It looks like there's a door that leads downstairs, to a basement, or cells. I don't know but I'm about to go down-"

"_Okay, Meredith. That's like the start of every horror movie. Please do not go down there. Get out. Whatever you do, do not go down those stairs. We'll come back later, with Tyler for back up. You can't go down their alone."_

Meredith's eyes skim the house as she listens to the sound of Jeremy's heavy breathing on the other end of the phone, he's clearly panicked but she knows that she has to do this, that there is a chance that this could lead them to finding Cedric, or finding answers.

"What if Cedric is down there?"

"_Do you have any proof he's even there? You're looking for the Rosenbergs-"_

"They could have taken him again, Jeremy. There's a door in the floor, Jeremy. Something is down there and if it's a chance that it's Cedric, I'm going down. We owe him that after he risked his life to help us. He doesn't deserve to be captured again."

"_Meredith, please listen to me. Please don't do this."_

"Just stay on the phone, Jeremy." she says, exhaling nervously. "Please."

"_Where are you? Tell me the location, at least. I can send Liz-"_

"I've got this." Meredith opens the door, and looks down to see some light coming from downstairs. She hears a noise in the distance, but can't quite make it out until she takes a few steps down the stairs.

The sound belongs to someone, but it's muffled, like their mouth has been covered. Meredith exhales deeply, reaching for the gun that she'd hidden on her. She pulls it out and checks that the safety is off, before putting the phone against her ear.

"There's someone down here, Jeremy." she tells him quietly, walking down.

The basement is dimly lit, and she can barely make it out yet, but there are tall cupboards with various items on them, and to her right there is a curtain pulled across. Meredith inhales sharply, ears ringing as she takes a small step closer.

"I think I found something." she whispers to him.

"_Meredith, please get out of there. I don't feel good about this. I should have gone with you."_

"It's too late now, Jeremy. I'm here, and I'm downstairs in a creepy basement. It's not the appropriate time to say you told me so, save that for later when I'm out of here. Right here, right now, I just need you to stay with me. Don't leave me, Jeremy. Just tell me what you see."

"_Okay, I can do that. I can do that. Tell me what you see."_

"Uhh...Um." Meredith spins around quickly, trying to take it all in. "There are curtains. Uh, tall – Tall cupboards, with supplies. Medical supplies. Boxes. Some sort of white curtain. There's someone else down here, and I think they're-"

Something hard hits Meredith in the back of the head and she falls down to the ground, momentarily dazed. Her hand goes flying from her hand and goes across the room, in the direction of the cupboards. Meredith groans and staggers to her feet, just as a figure appears above her. She struggles to her feet only to feel something hit her neck, a needle, but she fights for a moment, another second, until it becomes blurry and she falls harshly to the ground again.

* * *

Stefan isn't entirely sure what it is that caused him to walk to the diner, but he finds himself surprised and shocked when he sees Charlotte there, working. The wounds and bruises have disappeared completely from her face and she's wearing new clothes; a long-sleeved, a plain grey shirt and high-waisted black jeans. Her hair is pulled back except for her fringe, which hangs forward as it always does.

She walks towards a table and clears it, carrying the plates to the back and then returning to fill up a mug of coffee. Charlotte looks up at Stefan when he enters the diner, the bell above the door ringing. Freezing for a moment when she sees him, she turns away and pours someone else a mug of coffee, before excusing herself and walking out the back. A minute later Stefan follows her path, through a door in the kitchen and out to the back of the diner. Charlotte is waiting for him, her apron and a bottle of water in her hands. She looks up at Stefan when he steps outside and seems like she might take a step towards him, but instead changes her mind.

"What do you want?" she asks, unimpressed.

Stefan takes another small, hesitant step in her direction. "What are you doing?"

Charlotte frowns at him, the unimpressed look on her face remaining, somehow getting worse. "I work here."

"I know that, I know. I mean, what are you doing at work after what happened?"

"Life moves on. We move on too. That's life. C'est la vie, or some shit like that." Charlotte responds quickly, reaching into her back pocket and pulling out a cigarette. She places it between her lips and lights it, looking back to Stefan.

"I didn't know you smoked." he comments, watching her from afar, eyes focused on her, following her movements.

"Yeah." she says, drawing in on the smoke. "I do when I'm stressed. It's a habit, I can't break it. Humans are creatures of habit or whatever."

Stefan releases a sigh and walks closer, folding his arms over his chest. "Charlotte."

"I'm going to say this nicely, then I'm just going to say it. Go away, Stefan. I don't want or need you here. Go do whatever important shit you had to do this morning."

"If I could explain-"

"We all have things we're going through." Charlotte cuts across him loudly, putting one hand on her hip. "There are so many people apart from you that are going through rough times, Stefan. I get that you think you've done something so bad, but we're all struggling. You're not the only one struggling."

"This isn't about me. This is about how you needed someone, you needed me this morning, and I kicked you out. I abandoned you when you thought I wouldn't, and I'm sorry for letting you down, Charlotte. You deserve better than that."

Charlotte stops, watching him for a moment before she glances away, exhaling on the smoke. "Feel better, now that you've apologized?"

"What?" he asks, voice rough.

"Do you feel better now, right? You got that off your chest. Said sorry. That's great, I'm glad you're feeling better. We can finish up here now. Go do whatever you were doing, and I'll keep doing what I'm doing."

"Which is what, Charlotte? What are you doing?" Stefan walks closer, his voice becoming louder. "Working at a diner that you hate? Getting hurt? Hurting alone-"

"I wasn't alone. For the first time in a long time, when I woke up I wasn't alone. And I don't mean because you were physically there. I woke up not feeling alone. And I thought – I thought wrong, because I am alone and you know what? That's fine. It's worked for me so far, it'll keep working long after you're gone. Go deal with your brother, and your ex, and all the stuff you need to work through. Focus on you. Fix it. Go live your life and I'll live mine."

Stefan shakes his head, not accepting this. "You're clearly not doing okay on your own. No one deserves to be on their own, especially someone like you."

"Someone like me?" Charlotte replies, scoffing. "What does that even me?"

"It means someone good-"

"Oh, come on, Stefan. Who are you kidding? You don't know me. You don't know who I am, and I don't know who you are."

"But you do." he nods and watches her. "You know who I am. You knew what I was, and you were okay with that."

"Just because I knew that you were a vampire doesn't mean I know who you are as a person. I don't know you. We've known each other, for what? Almost a week? We don't know each other."

"It feels like I do. Like I know you. Like we met in another life, maybe. As stupid as that sounds.."

Charlotte shrugs and puts the cigarette out, dropping it in a bin and turning back to face Stefan. She shakes her head as she walks closer to him. "I don't know where that feeling is coming from but I don't have it. I don't know you. We've never met before now and when you're gone I'm sure that I'll forget about you eventually. Just like you'll forget about me. So move on, Stefan. Move on and stop moping. Fix your problems instead of running away from them."

"Running like you are now?" he replies immediately, eyebrows raised.

"I'm not running from anything. I'm right here. I'm not running."

"You're running from me." Stefan watches as she glances away, then back to him slowly. He sighs and takes a step closer, voice softer as he continues. "I'm sorry for pushing you out. You think it's because Elena called, don't you? Well, it is but not how you think. There are so many things that you don't know, things you won't even know and you can't begin to understand what's going on right now. I wasn't pushing you away because – I was doing it because I-"

"It wasn't me. It was you?" she tilts her head to the slight, one hand moving back to her hip. "You keep saying the same things. Repeating them over and over. You say you're a bad person, that there are things about you that I don't know. Then stop dancing around it and just tell me."

"Dancing?" Stefan frown, eyebrows still raised. "I'm not dancing around it. I'm not telling you for a reason. I'm doing it-"

"Screw the reason, I don't care about it. You want me to believe you, to believe what you're saying? Then tell me, Stefan. Give me something. Give me something real to believe."

Stefan clenches his jaw tightly together and glances away, his thoughts circling around Damon and Johanna, and all the others he left behind, all the other problems he tried to run from but couldn't. With a sigh he looks back to her, his jaw still tightly clenched for a moment.

"I don't know what you want from me, Charlotte." he admits sometime later, holding her gaze.

After watching him briefly, Charlotte turns to walk towards the door. "Walk me home."

"What? Aren't you working?" Stefan frowns and takes a step closer.

"Forget about that. Let me get my things."

Stefan watches as Charlotte walks inside and when she's gone he releases a sigh, putting his hands over his face before eventually following her steps inside, and back into the diner. He follows her towards a small room, where she gathers her bag and slides on a jacket. She glances up at him once she's got her jacket on, picks up her bag and leads the way out of the diner and out on to the street. On the street outside of the diner Stefan watches as Charlotte stops walking and glances up, finding the sheriff walking towards them. He looks to Charlotte, who glances his way briefly before looking up.

"Charlotte?" the man calls out, removing his sunglasses. "Are you finishing up? I was coming in for a cup of coffee, and you know how much I like yours."

Charlotte shares a sideways glance with Stefan before taking a step in Sheriff Anderson's direction, her boots hitting the pavement and making a small sound. "I just finished my shift, Anderson."

"That so? And who do we have here?" he asks, directing his eyes to Stefan. "I haven't seen you around here before."

"That's because he's new to town." she answers quickly, watching as Stefan joins her side. "Well, kind of. He's a friend of Jason's."

Anderson looks back to Charlotte, eyebrows slightly raised. "Your brother's back?"

"No, he's not. But Jason and Stefan knew each other."

"Stefan?" Anderson asks, looking to him.

"Yes. Stefan Von Schleicher." Charlotte nods, nudging Stefan subtly.

Stefan turns to Anderson and nods, forcing a smile. "That's right."

Anderson seems to hesitate but nods slowly. "Well, Stefan, would you mind if I talked with Charlotte for a moment? There's something I need to discuss with her privately."

Stefan glances at the two before he nods, walking away, towards a park bench across the road. He is careful to continue listening to the conversation, soon moving to sit down on the bench, and once he's seated he looks up to where Charlotte and Sheriff Anderson are now talking, hushed around the side of the diner. Their conversation continues for a few minutes, Stefan catches all of it, but when Charlotte crosses the street and joins him on the park bench, sitting beside him, he acts as though he hasn't heard a word.

"What happened?"

"Not here." Charlotte looks to him, and forces a smile. "Walk me home?"

They stand from the bench and turn in the direction of Charlotte's house, remaining silent for most of the walk home as they frequently pass groups of people, and don't want to risk anyone overhearing the conversation they will inevitably have to have. Stefan notices that the house is empty, and the car that was parked outside is gone. He follows Charlotte up the stairs and to the second level of the house, and once they are inside she locks the door and follows him into the living room where he's standing.

"Sheriff Anderson said they're looking into Evan's death. He said it looked like he was attacked, and I think he suspects me."

"What? You? It was me. I-"

"Someone saw me, Stefan. They saw me with the bloody clothes, and it was after you – It was after." Charlotte says quietly, breathing out a slightly unsteady sigh. "I think someone saw me, and they must have reported it. He said he didn't have any evidence that it was me but that he would – He would be stopping to take a look around later."

"You didn't do anything. You have nothing to be worried about. He can't get a warrant without any proof, and there's nothing here that would implicate you, Charlotte."

Charlotte shakes her head, walking closer to him. "I'm not worried about me, Stefan. I'm worried about you. How do we fix this? How do we make it go away?"

Stefan, silently touched by her words, falters. "I'll fix it, okay? I know what to do, Charlotte. Trust me when I say that there's nothing for you to worry about."

"You'll fix it?"

"With compulsion. And I know someone, she's – She can help. It's going to be fine."

Charlotte nods and presses her lips together, removing her bag and setting it down on the table. She walks into the kitchen and leans against the counter, releasing a small sigh. She sets one hand against the counter and the other on her hip, drawing in a deep breath of air as her eyes shut for a moment.

"There's no way that they can trace it to you. Can they?" she asks suddenly.

"How can you do this? Be so casual with this?" Stefan asks, taking a few steps in her direction. "I killed Evan. And you don't care-"

"I don't care, you're right. That doesn't make me a bad person. I hated Evan, he was a monster."

"You told me what he almost did to you, but-"

"Evan was a monster, Stefan. You did the right thing. And I know that if he came after you with his friends that he had the intention of hurting your or worse. I don't blame you for this, and I'm not judging you for it either."

"You don't know what I've done."

"Here we go _again_. You keep saying that same thing. I don't know who you are. I don't know what you've done. So tell me, Stefan."

"I can't." he shakes his head, looking up at her. "But I will make sure that none of this comes back to you. You don't deserve that, Charlotte."

Hearing a sound in the distance of a car engine shutting off, Charlotte moves past Stefan and towards the window. She peers through it before looking back to Stefan, whose eyes are settled firmly on her.

"Is that him? Is that Steven?" he barely manages to ask, teeth gritted, words coming out low and filled with anger.

Charlotte shakes her head, walking towards Stefan. Her voice is hushed. "You can't see him, okay? Because then he'll be – He'll just be madder."

"Charlotte, you're a grown woman-"

"And what, Stefan? Being a grown woman should suddenly mean what?" Charlotte snaps at him, but her voice shakes, broken. "Should it meant that I should have the confidence to stand up to him? Well I do, and I can. But you don't get it, okay? You have no idea what it's like to be in this situation – to know him – so you don't get to stand there and judge me for this."

"I'm not judging you, I'm trying to show you that there's another way." he says, voice hushed, almost comforting.

"You think I don't know that? Because I do, I know it. There's always another way, I get that. I think about it all the time, but I have been living with this man for my entire life and leaving is so much harder than you will ever understand." Charlotte answers, moving towards the kitchen. She turns her back on Stefan, facing the sink. "You need to leave."

Stefan sighs and takes another step in her direction. "Charlotte, I do understand it. You think I don't, but I know what it's like to have something controlling you. It's a completely different situation, but my hunger, it is controlling. I know how hard it can be to break away from something that has such a strong hold over you. I was a Ripper once."

"A ripper?" she turns her head over her shoulder.

"Yes. A ripper. I tore people apart, and I couldn't stop myself. I didn't feel anything, and that controlled me. It was a sickness. It was crippling. But I found my strength, and I got out. I got out, Charlotte, and you can too."

"I have some things that I need to take care of." Charlotte answers, turning to face him finally, her arms now folded over her chest. "Can you please leave?"

After meeting her gaze and studying it, his eyes locked with hers, flickering away only briefly, Stefan sighs and gives in with a nod of his head.

"If that's what you want."

"It is." she answers, turning away again, her hands now stretched out on the sink as she looks down. "Just go, Stefan. Please."

Stefan watches her for a moment, unable to look away, until he hears her ask him to go again, in a much quieter voice, and this time he obliges and leaves, disappearing before she has the chance to look back. He leaves the house quickly, but once he's out on the street Stefan stops, reaching into the pocket of his pants for his phone, which he keeps in his hand, not dialing any numbers or reading any messages just yet.

There's something keeping him here, and he doesn't know why, he doesn't know what it is until he hears it, until his ears pick up the noises in the distance. The sound of glasses breaking, someone shouting, fast footsteps and a loud crash. When Stefan reaches the front door he tries to open it but finds it locked, and hears the movement coming from upstairs instead. He leaves the door and speeds upstairs, finding that the door won't open. It isn't locked, something's blocking it, and when he peers in through a window Stefan sees that something has been knocked in front of it.

Stefan hears the sound of Charlotte crying out; it isn't loud, no human will hear it, but he hears it and it's enough to push him to break down the door. He uses his shoulder and breaks through the door, speeding inside, the room a broken mess. The noises are coming from down the hallway, in one of the bedrooms, and Stefan follows it and finds Charlotte on the ground, a large man on top of her. Their bodies are limp, and the only sound coming from the room is someone's labored breathing.

"Charlotte?" he calls out, rushing to kneel by her side.

She shoves her father's body off of her, it hits the ground with a thud, and once he is gone Stefan's eyes move towards the knife in her hand. There's blood all over the knife and all over her. His eyes move back to her father, who is lying, bleeding out on the floor. He doesn't have a heartbeat.

"He – He was..." Charlotte stammers, trying to sit up.

When Stefan moves to kneel by her side she backs away, still holding on to the knife in her hand for a moment, hands shaking as she stares at it. Finally she releases the knife, a small gasp escaping through her lips as the gravity of the situation settles in.

"Charlotte, look at me." Stefan says slowly, moving to kneel in front of her again.

Again, she backs away from him, struggles to her feet with labored breathing and shaking, bloody limbs. A painful groan escapes her cut, and slightly swollen lips. Stefan's eyes follow her hand as she presses it to her side, and he realises now she's been hurt, he can see the blood spilling out of the wound – He didn't realise it was her blood, but it is, and there's a lot of it.

"You're hurt." he says, voice coming across much quieter than he'd intended for it to be. Stefan moves closer and moves her hand out of the way gently, trying to look at the wound.

The sound of someone knocking at the door downstairs startles Charlotte and she jumps slightly, causing the pain to spread throughout her body at the movement, and a quiet shout to almost escape her lips. She clamps her bloodied hands over her mouth, eyes wide and looking to Stefan for help.

"Stay here." Stefan tells her, eyes locked with hers, waiting until she meets his gaze. "Okay, Charlotte? Promise me you'll stay right here. Keep pressure on that wound, I'll deal with whoever's here. I just need to know you'll stay here and not do anything that could hurt yourself. Just nod your head if you'll stay."

Charlotte manages a small nod of her head as she slowly eases herself down on to the carpet, kneeling on it as she presses her hand to the wound on her side. Stefan's eyes linger on her for a second, until he reluctantly leaves her, moving swiftly downstairs and to the front door where he heard the knocking sound. He composes himself, and reaches for the door to find the Sheriff standing there.

Sheriff Anderson meets his gaze and frowns, his brown eyes swirling with a deeper look. "I wasn't expecting to find you here, Stefan."

"Charlotte let me in." Stefan answers quickly, hiding one hand behind his back because he's just realised there's blood on it, he can feel it sticking to his skin. "She's just getting changed from work, so I'm taking a look around."

"I'd like to come in-"

"I'd prefer if you didn't. Charlotte is changing, and I don't feel comfortable letting you inside."

"I'm sorry." Anderson straightens up, annoyed. "What did you say your last name was again, Stefan?'

Stefan steps closer, putting his hand on Anderson's shoulder as he locks his gaze and compels him. "You're going to forget you came here. You're going to leave Charlotte alone, and you're going to rule Evan's death as an accident. He killed himself. You'll figure it out, you'll make it work, and you'll leave Charlotte alone. When Steven goes missing, you'll put the word out that he's gone on another drinking bender and that Charlotte went away to study somewhere else. You won't remember me. You won't remember anything bad about Charlotte, and you'll ensure that anyone who is suspicious of her, or of me, is convinced otherwise."

Once Sheriff Anderson has left, Stefan closes the door and quickly returns to the bedroom where he finds Charlotte crouched over on the floor, clutching at her side. The blood is pouring heavily from the wound on her side, and her head is pressed against the carpet.

"Hey, Charlotte? Charlotte?" he rushes to her side, kneeling down next to her.

She releases a ragged, shaky breath that sounds like a cry, when he helps her to lean back, away from the carpet. There are tears streaming down her face when she looks up at him, and she's covered in blood. It stains her face, side and arms. Her chest rises and falls so heavily, and Stefan can hear her heart pounding quickly in her chest.

"Charlotte. Hey, Hey. Look at me." he says, reaching out to brush the hair back off her face.

Charlotte finches and looks up at him, her breathing still heavy. She meets his gaze and he reaches out to touch her arm gently, to let her know that she's not alone, that she's safe.

"It's Stefan. Okay? I'm here. It's just us."

"But he – He was – And Steven-" she stammers, dazed, scared.

Stefan runs his hand over her arm gently, an attempt to calm her down, to soothe her and help her to feel less frightened, less scared. "That doesn't matter right now. What matters right now is that you take care of yourself, Charlotte You're hurt. You're bleeding from your side, and I think you've been stabbed. You could be bleeding internally, and we've left it too long already. If it was fatal then you'd already be dead but you're not, so you need to let me take care of this. You need to let me take care of you."

She continues to shake her head. "No, no, I can't-"

"You can. I know you're scared and you're hurting, but you're strong and you can do this." he promises her, holding her gaze, never looking away for a second. "We can do this together. You're not alone. I won't let you deal with this alone. But to help you, to help you heal, I need you to trust me. Do you trust me?"

Charlotte manages a small nod, her breathing still irregular and shaky, her eyes slowly meeting his. She looks up at him and nods again, then watches as Stefan puts a hand on her uninjured side and helps her to stand. He peels up the side of her shirt and finds a large gash on her side, from the knife that had been in her hand when he'd found her. He realises that Steven must have stabbed her, but he doesn't have the time to focus on that right now.

While helping Charlotte to stand, Stefan lifts his palm to his mouth and tears the skin open with his teeth. He offers his hand to her, expecting resistance, but Charlotte takes it and drinks the blood from his palm without any hesitation at all. Her grip on his other hand tightens, and then becomes weaker as the pain begins to fade away. Stefan's eyes linger on the wound as it heals slowly before disappearing entirely, leaving only the stains of smeared blood as proof that it ever existed. When Charlotte releases Stefan's hand she takes a step back from him, her arms still shaking, her breathing still incredibly erratic.

"Charlotte."

"He's – He's dead." her eyes dart to the floor, where the body is, eyes widening at the sight. Charlotte clamps her hands over her mouth, before releasing her hands are covered with blood, and now she's smeared that over her lips.

"Charlotte." Stefan repeats, her voice quiet as it passes his lips.

He takes a step in her direction and watches as she shakily wipes the blood off her lips, using her sleeve to do so. She looks up to Stefan finally, shaking her head as she does. With every step that he takes closer she takes one back.

"I did this. I killed him."

"He attacked you-"

"They won't see that." Charlotte lets out a cry, taking a step backwards. "All that they will see is a dead man, and a crazy daughter. That's what they say. They think I'm crazy because I hate this town and the people in it. They think I'm crazy because I drive away everywhere I know. My mom. My brother. Even my godfather. They all keep their distance. They think they know me. They think I'm a crazy loner, who they're already suspecting had something to do with Evan's disappearance."

"No, they're not suspecting you. They're not suspecting anything." he assures her, but he can tell by the look on her face that she isn't believing this, that she isn't accepting his attempts to comfort her. "You're not crazy, Charlotte, and you're not a bad person. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Who did you talk to?" she asks, panicked, eyes wider. "Who was at the door? Is someone here?"

"I promise you that no one is here. No one. Sheriff Anderson was here."

Charlotte gasps and briefly puts her hands to her face, her entire body still trembling. "Oh my god. Oh god."

"But it's okay, I promise. I fixed the situation. It's fixed." Stefan walks closer, watching as she mutters quietly, breathing heavier, heart continuing to pound in her chest. "Charlotte. Just stop. Stop and take a moment to breathe."

"I killed him!" Charlotte snaps, but she's crying and her voice is weak. "I can't breathe, Stefan. I can't – I can't..Oh, god. I just killed him. He was – He was here. And he wanted to know what I was doing, because he said he knew I wasn't alone. He just came at me, and locked me inside."

"Charlotte." Stefan tries to soothe her, to calm her for a moment.

"He had this look in his eyes, and I knew what it was. I knew." she said, voice breaking, coming undone. Tears slide down her cheeks again, and she tries to find the words. "I knew. I knew, Stefan."

Stefan reaches out to touch her again, one hand settling above her elbow, the other near her shoulder. "He's dead, Charlotte. I promise he's never going to hurt you again. He's never going to hurt you. No one else will either."

She locks her eyes with his and tries to suppress a cry. "They're going to arrest me."

"No one is arresting you."

Charlotte shakes her head, more tears hitting her cheeks. "I'm a murderer."

"He abused you for years. He came at you with the knife." Stefan responds instantly, no doubt to his voice. "You were defending yourself, Charlotte."

"They won't see that. They won't see it. They won't know what I went through, or what we went through. They won't know, Stefan."

Stefan shook his head, his hands gently soothing her skin. "No one else will ever now."

She frowns, watching him closely. "How? How can-"

"I promise you, I'll take care of it. But you have to let me take care of your first. Can you do that?"

After a moment of silence, Charlotte gives a shaky nod of her head and allows Stefan to walk closer towards her. His eyes skim over her briefly, before he meets her gaze and reaches out to put a hand on her back.

"We need to get you cleaned up, okay? There's no time for a shower. We'll clean off the blood, get you in some clean clothes, and take care of this. We can do this together."

"Okay."

"Okay." Stefan moves his hand back to her back, guiding her towards the bathroom which is just to the right. He steps inside and turns on the light, guiding Charlotte inside.

She sits down on the closed toilet, vacant eyes settling on the cracks in the tiles on the floor, remaining entirely silent as still as Stefan moves around the bathroom, finding towels and clothes to clean her up. He hears her vomiting briefly while he's gone, and when he returns he finds that she's pulled herself up and is sitting back on the closed toilet. When Stefan returns to her side he notices that she's trembling slightly, but her body isn't as shaky as it was moments earlier. Her eyes are still vacant and dull, and they continue to focus on the cracked floor. Stefan kneels down in front of her slowly, waiting for her to meet his gaze.

"I'm going to help you clean up. While you're getting dressed, I'm going to take care of this."

"And then what?" she asks flatly, voice empty. "I continue living here, like nothing's happened."

"No. You leave. You don't come back. And people – People will forget about Steven. I'll work something out. I know someone else, who is a Sheriff, and she'll keep an eye on anything suspicious if it comes up."

Charlotte looks away from him, voice as vacant and lost as her eyes. "I can't believe we're seriously having this conversation. I'm a killer."

"No, you're not, Charlotte. You're not a killer."

She looks to him briefly, disbelieving. "You saw him. He's dead. I'm-"

"You're a victim, Charlotte. There's a difference between being a killer and a victim. You were hurt. You suffered for years. You stopped him, and by doing so, you killed him. That does not make you a killer, and it doesn't make you guilty. You are not guilty of this, or anything else. And I won't let you become guilty of this because you don't deserve it."

She muffles a sob with her hands before looking to him. "He was trying to kill me. "I didn't – He came at me with the knife, and I didn't want to die. I don't want to die, Stefan. I don't want to get arrested."

"You're safe with me, I promise. Now, you have to let me help you get cleaned up because you can't stay like this. Just sit there, I got it. When I'm done, you just need to change into clean clothes and go pack your things. I'll take care of the body and the blood. I know what to do."

Charlotte is silent as Stefan turns towards the sink, dipping it in the cold water and returning to her. He moves quickly but gently as he works at removing the blood from her skin, starting with her arms and moving to her knees, neck and face. When he's finished wiping the blood from her skin, Stefan asks Charlotte to rinse her hair out at the sink. She does this quickly, and when she's finished Stefan brushes the hair back off her face and ties it back simply.

He follows her into her bedroom and helps her pull out some clothes to change into, and waits until she's in the bathroom again to deal with the body. The first thing Stefan does is carry the knife into the kitchen. He cleans it and washes the blood down the sink, placing it away in one of the drawers. Then he returns to the bedroom with some bed sheets, wrapping up Steven's body in the blankets and moving it out into the hallway. Upon returning to the bathroom fifteen minutes later, Stefan finds Charlotte sitting on the tiles in a daze. He joins her side slowly, kneeling down beside her. His eyes skim over her briefly, before he sighs and lifts a hand to his head.

"I need you to pack a bag, Charlotte. We need to leave."

"The body?" she doesn't look up at him as she speaks.

"Your car is ready to go, I filled it up. His body is..In the back. I fixed the carpet up as best as I could." Stefan informs her. "What I need you to do now is pack. I'll take care of this. I'll be back in half an hour. Don't let anyone in, okay?"

Charlotte straightens up immediately, "Wait, Stefan. No. Don't – Don't leave me."

"Charlotte, I need to take-"

"Please." she reaches out, holding on to his hands. "Please don't leave me. I can't be alone right now. I can't. I can't do this."

"It's okay. You don't have to do this alone. You can and you will do this, but you won't be doing it alone. I promise. I'm right here, but we have to work together and quickly. Pack a bag, Charlotte. Everything you need, pack it. We have to leave soon."

Charlotte returns to her room with Stefan behind her and once she's packed a bag he holds it for her, watching as she packs more bags. She only has two bags, one for clothes and one for personal items, and Stefan doesn't look in either. He wants to respect her privacy, and so he simply holds the bags and focuses on her as she does one last look of the room.

"Okay, that's it. That's all my stuff."

"This is all of it?" Stefan asks.

"Yes." she looks up to him. "Are we leaving now?"

He gives her a slight nod of her head, eyes skimming over the room, doing one last check before he looks back to her. "I think that'd be best."

"What are – What will people say?"

"I've handled the situation. I'm on it. I have contacts who can help. A few others owe me favours. They'll handle this. Before we leave, I need to stop by my hotel. You need to wait in the car, okay? Trust me on this."

"I do."

Stefan nods and then leads the way out of her bedroom, down into the hallway and out of the empty, silent house. He waits for Charlotte to step out through the broken door first, before he pulls it back and shuts it as best as he can. He follows her downstairs to her car, which is parked out on the middle of the street, but thankfully the streets are empty for the moment.

After placing Charlotte's bag into the backseat of the small silver car, he takes her cars and walks around to the door. Charlotte gets into the passenger's side, shutting the door once she's inside and putting on her seat-belt. Stefan starts the engine up once he's inside the car, and takes instructions from Charlotte on a different street to take, to stay off the main road.

They follow this road for a while, until it leads to a less populated road. Charlotte directs Stefan to a place to bury the body; an isolated area in the forest, where not many go. It's uncontrolled and mostly uninhabited. Stefan follows her instructions to get there and takes care of the body, leaving no signs or traces that he's been there. He returns to the car covered with dirt, finding Charlotte waiting in more silence, her hands in her lap. He casts a glance her way but doesn't speak, instead driving back to the hotel where he gathers his things from the room, signs out and returns to the car. When they finally hit the road, Stefan speaks with a quiet voice.

"Is there anywhere you want to go?" he asks.

Charlotte continues to gaze out of the window. "No."

"There's nowhere you can go?"

"No, Stefan. There's nowhere else. There is nowhere for me to go, and there – I have money, sure. But how long can that keep me going? I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I don't know-"

Stefan casts a brief, but not obvious look her way. "We'll find a hotel and figure it out from there."

"You keep saying 'we'. We'll do this, we'll do that. We'll figure this out." Charlotte looks up at him. "Why are you doing that? This isn't on you, Stefan. This is my fault. This is my mistake to live with. What you've done for me, I can't even say how much I appreciate it. I do. You don't owe me anything else. You've already done enough, you've done so much. More than you should have ever had to do."

"I know that I don't owe you anything, I don't see it like that. I see you as someone who needs help, and that's what I'm doing. I'm helping you."

"Why?" she asks.

Stefan doesn't hesitate to respond, his voice low, almost comforting. "Because you need help, and I know you can't do this on your own. I want to help. And I don't care if you don't believe that, or if you try to read more into that. It's a simple answer to your question, Charlotte: I'm helping because you need it. That's why. Now I'm going to drive for a few hours, to get away from here. Try to get some sleep. You look exhausted, and I know you only got a few hours last night."

"I don't think I can sleep." Charlotte answers, watching him as he avoids her gaze.

"Then just rest. Try to stay calm, and rest."

"Stefan?" she asks a minute later.

"We'll talk when you've rested." Stefan answers, glancing her way. "You need to take care of yourself right now. You've been through something emotionally and physically traumatic. Rest. Stay calm. We'll talk later."

Charlotte seems like she might answer but she doesn't, instead she pushes the seat back slightly and pulls her legs up, rolling on to her side and setting her head down against the seat. Stefan watches from the corner of his eyes as she places a hand underneath her head and shuts her eyes, and although she appears like she might try to rest Stefan knows that she won't be sleeping, that she won't be able to shut her mind off. He knows she won't be able to stop the thoughts, but he hopes that the silence might help to calm her down before the inevitable conversations to come.

* * *

**A/N: **Here's another update! I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think & thanks for reading. Thanks for the new follows. Also, thank you to paigetvdspn, SomebodyWhoCares and Adela for your reviews.

Adela: Thank you! Enjoy.

**x**


	16. Hit and Miss

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and claim nothing. Vampires Diaries is copyright to its respective owners. Nothing is being claimed and no money is being made.**

* * *

The first sound that rings through Meredith's ears is the sound of footsteps fading away in the distance. Curious, her eyes open slowly only to remind her of what happened and where she is. The curiosity fades away immediately as her eyes settle upon the brick ceiling above her, while her body slowly wakes and she comes to the frightening realization that she has been strapped down to a table.

There is a strap holding her down on each arm, and more around her ankles. Meredith's body jolts upright and she sucks in a tight breath of air, the wind hitting her insides harshly. She tries to sit up, only to fail, but this doesn't deter her and she tries again as her eyes adjust to the lighting and try to search the room. Movement comes from the right, followed by the sound of someone's shallow breathing, and Meredith glances up to find Cedric strapped down to a silver operating table. He's wearing the same clothes that she last saw him in, but they're torn in parts and covered with blood and dirt.

Panic sets in and Meredith's entire body jolts upright again, her arms and legs struggling to break free of the binds. She looks down at the binds and then back to Cedric, who isn't facing her. His head is resting the other way, limp. He's not awake, or he doesn't appear to be. There's a tube in his arm, and other cords and tubes placed throughout his body. His arms, wrists and legs are strapped down and there is dried blood seeping through the bandages.

**Blood.**

A frown crosses Meredith's face and she stops fighting for a moment, Katherine's words rushing back in, her words about the cure. Katherine is human. She can bleed now. Cedric is human, and he is bleeding without healing. Meredith removes the thought from her head, because it can't be possible, because two people can't take the cure and survive.

"Cedric?" Meredith calls out, voice low, strained. She struggles under the binds again, her entire body jolting as she tries to break free. "Cedric? No, no. Cedric."

"There's no point in doing that, you'll only wear yourself out." a voice comes from the room, causing Meredith to stop, because she recognizes that voice.

Her mind races, desperately searching for the time and place that she heard that voice, but it doesn't come back to her. Meredith tries to look around the room, and ends up tilting her head back enough to see where it came from. There's a cage in the corner of the room, and in it she sees Max.

Meredith stops fighting and struggles to look up at him, breathless. "Max?"

"Unfortunately..." Max answers quietly, voice empty. "Yes."

"What – I don't understand. What are you doing here? How are you here?" she asks, and lies flat on her back for a moment, her wrists still fidgeting in the binds.

"Well, let's see. I was captured and I woke up here. That's it. I'm planning on turning it into a book when I escape. It's so thrilling, I knew it'd be a hit with the fans. I'm aiming for bestseller of the year. Maybe some awards along the way."

"Do you think this is some kind of joke?" Meredith snaps back at him. "You're captured. We all are. And you're talking-"

"This is no joke. I find nothing about this situation remotely funny." Max answers quickly, voice lower, quieter.

"How did you get here?" Meredith asks, still struggling beneath the binds.

Max sighs loudly. "The bitch shoved a needle in my neck and snatched me up."

"Who did?" she asks.

"I did." a different voice comes, a new one.

Meredith looks up and discovers a woman with thick, dark curls and brown eyes standing above her. She offers Meredith a small smile, but there's a dangerous look on her face that betrays the smile, showing proof that it isn't as innocent as it seems.

"I'm Natasha. I believe you've been tracking me" she says. "You found me. What was the next part of your plan?"

"You can't – You can't hold me here. I didn't do anything." Meredith stammers, voice slowly growing stronger.

"You broke into my house." Natasha answers, walking over towards a long metal bench. "Technically it's my parents house, but they're both dead now so I suppose it's my house now."

Meredith meets Natasha's gaze, holding it. "What happened to your parents wasn't my fault. I didn't know them. I never met them. You have no right to keep me here."

Natasha gives a small shrug of her shoulders, a small smile on her lips again. "It's fine. We weren't close anyway."

"Then why – Why do you have us? Why do you have them?"

"Because they're still my parents and now they're dead. I know you didn't have anything to do with that, but I haven't had any luck locating those responsible." she answers with a sigh, a bored look crossing her face.

"Who's responsible?" Meredith repeats quietly.

"I've told the bitch one hundred times over and over." Max calls out from his cell, releasing a loud sigh. "She's an ignorant one. She can't process it. She wants Johanna, but Johanna is long gone. Isn't she, Meredith?"

"Because of you, she's gone." Meredith answers. "Because of what you did to her, Max. She's gone and no one can find her. You have no idea-"

"As touching as this little argument is, I don't care for any family feuds or problems that either of you have going on." Natasha sighs, folding her arms and walking back to Meredith's side. "I've had trouble locating Johanna and Damon. Yes, I know their names. Damon was a patient. Johanna stayed at the Institution briefly."

"You know what they were doing to vampires." Meredith looks back at her. "You know what they did. And you were part of it. You're one of them."

"Yes I knew, but no I am not one of them." Natasha answers, playing with a syringe in her hands. "In the beginning, I was shocked. Angry. I didn't think that the vampires deserved it, and I was going to do something to help. I was going to try to change things. Until my mother and father were killed within such a short amount of time of each other, and that's when I decided to do something."

"You picked up their work?" Meredith responds quietly, shocked.

Natasha looks at her and nods. "Correct."

Meredith's face becomes harder and she stops struggling, her voice fiercer, harsher when she speaks. "They were monsters. They deserved to die."

"Correct again, Meredith. But you'll see that the vampires and the hybrids, they are the real monsters."

"You can't do this. You have no right to hold me here, or them. You don't know Cedric, I do. He's not a monster like you think he is, you don't know him."

Natasha hesitates, a look of contemplation spreading across her face. "And the one in the cage? No touching speech? No attempt to bargain for his life?"

"His life is yours." Meredith answers almost instantly, still fidgeting beneath the binds, but in a subtle way so it will pass unnoticed. "I'm here for Cedric."

"You're her." Natasha comments a moment later. "You're Meredith. He calls to you sometimes. In his daze. His dreams. It's sad and pathetic."

Meredith's eyes briefly flicker towards Cedric, almost against her will, before she looks back to Natasha quickly. "What did you do to him?"

"I found him, picked him up and brought him here."

"You're lying." she snaps angrily, fighting the binds again. "You hurt him. He's bleeding."

"He was already bleeding. Strange, for a hybrid. And then I realized..." Natasha sighs, fingers brushing over the tip of the syringe.

"Realized what?" Meredith asks, voice still filled with anger.

Natasha throws a look Cedric's way, before her dark eyes flicker back to Meredith. "I realized that he wasn't a hybrid anymore."

"What? That's not possible."

"That's why I contacted some people. They're on there way. Should be here within a few hours to take a look at them himself." Natasha answers flatly, still holding the syringe between her hands. "I tried myself, to see if he would heal. He won't. He's human, but that's not my concern. I don't want him. I want the people who killed my parents, and if you give me the answers that I want then I'll consider letting you two go."

Meredith watches Natasha for a moment before smiling, her breathing still heavy. "Go to hell."

"I was afraid you'd say that." Natasha sighs, seeming bored. "If you want to go to hell, I can take you there. I can take you all there."

"If one wishes for hell, then hell they shall have." Elijah's voice comes from behind them.

Meredith lifts her head up straighter, looking to Elijah where he stands, a few feet behind them. Dressed in a suit, with his hair nicely done, his eyes move slowly over the room before he lunges forward, snatches the syringe from Natasha's hands and stabs it into her neck. He holds her in his arms for a moment before lowering her body to the floor, then moving to straighten himself out and fix up his suit. Elijah meets Meredith's gaze, holding it before he steps towards her, moving over Natasha's body and leaving it on the floor.

"What – What are you doing here? And what did you inject her with?"

"I tracked you here." Elijah responds calmly as he moves forward. "Jeremy Gilbert contacted me some time ago. I am yet to respond, but he left a quite distressing message on my voice-mail. He feared you were in a predicament such as this. And the woman, Natasha, I'm not sure what I injected her with. But she's currently unconscious, so that worked."

"Natasha – she said she contacted people."

"Niklaus' people." Elijah answers calmly, removing the binds around her in seconds.

"Wait. Klaus?" Meredith's voice rises. "How did Klaus-"

"He did not know that Cedric was here, but he had people everywhere, searching for his hybrid. She contacted one of his sources." Elijah answers, a hand on Meredith's back as he helps her to stand. "And those sources informed me of the location shortly after I received Jeremy's call. So while Jeremy called, it was Niklaus who led me here."

Meredith is dizzy for a moment but regains her balance and immediately rushes towards Cedric's side. She is able to see him more clearly now, and discovers that his skin is covered with dried wounds and bruises, there is blood seeping out through his chest, and he has cords attached to him. Her fingers reach for his neck in search of a pulse and she finds one.

"I did not expect to find him in this condition. He bleeds freely, but there is nothing inside of him that would cause him to continue to bleed." Elijah comments, puzzled.

"That's because he's not a hybrid anymore, Elijah. He's not a hybrid." Meredith answers, distressed as she moves towards a small operating bench, scooping up supplies and returning with them. "The woman, Natasha, said that he wasn't a hybrid when she found him."

"How is he no longer a hybrid? I understand that he was special, not a creation-"

"He took the cure, Elijah." she stops and looks up at him briefly. "He took the cure somehow. I don't know the circumstances, but he's human. I thought you were at the Boarding House to see Jeremy?"

"I received a distressed call from Jeremy Gilbert, I did not venture in to the house. I was not near the house when I received the call." Elijah answers a moment later, unusually quiet.

Meredith begins to press bandages to the areas where Cedric is bleeding, and works on him however she can to help him, but she knows there is only so much she can do for him here. This is a quick job. She'll take care of him properly once they're back in Mystic Falls.

"So you don't know?" she asks a minute later.

Elijah looks to her, jaw tightly clenched together. "Pardon?"

"Katherine's there. She showed up, and she's human. Somehow she took the cure too. She never mentioned that Cedric was there or involved, but she claimed to know what happened to him."

There's a crack of emotion on Elijah's face, but it disappears as quickly as it was there and he becomes cold and composed yet again. "Katerina is human?"

"As touching as this is," Max calls out, breathing slightly heavy. "I'm stuck in a vervain soaked cage and I'd appreciate some assistance on getting out."

"I'll be there to provide you with the necessary assistance soon, Max. If you would be so kind as to give us a moment." Elijah responds, glancing briefly over his shoulder, until his eyes meet Meredith's again. "You say Katerina is human? How is that possibly? She hates humanity. She does-"

"It was against her will and that is all I know. That's all that she would say."

"Why?" he asks. "Does she refuse to tell you?"

"She's dying, Elijah. I don't know why or what from, but the cure did something to her. She's dying and there's nothing we can do to help her right now. But Natasha, she can help us to find a cure for the Ripper virus that her parents created. She could know something. But right now my priority is to get Cedric out of here, and to the Boarding House. It's the safest place in town right now, with everyone gone. He needs to be cared for."

Meredith receives silence and glances up to find Elijah staring down at Cedric, his expression empty, eyes focused on him. She frowns and steps closer.

"Elijah, didn't you hear me?"

He looks up immediately, a new look on his face. "Yes, Meredith. I'm aware of what you said, I was silently contemplating what I'm going to do with Max."

"How about let me out of here?" Max suggests. "That's a good idea."

After glancing briefly in Meredith's direction, Elijah turns and walks towards the silver cage that Max has been placed inside. He picks up the key from a nearby table and walks closer, the silver key moving between his fingers as he does.

"I was under the illusion that you understood my words from our first conversation." Elijah looks up at him slowly, silver key between his fingers still.

Max sighs and takes a step closer, as close as he can get. "This isn't about your girlfriend. This is about sick freaks who want to open up and torture vampires. I've been in this cage for days. No blood. Waiting. Waiting to die."

"You won't have to wait much longer to die, Max. I will bring death to you swiftly but unfortunately for you, it will not be a painless death."

Meredith stops what she is doing and turns to Elijah, shaking her head. "Elijah, what – No. You can't kill Max. You can't do that."

"Incorrect, Meredith. I can and will kill him."

"He's Martin's son-" she begins, only to fall silent seconds later.

"He is the reason Johanna is no longer with us." Elijah doesn't spare her a look as he continues to speak. "I do not care who he is or who his father is."

"Look, I get it." Max sighs again. "You're pissed about your girlfriend-"

"Girlfriend?" Meredith frowns, pausing. "Johanna isn't Elijah's girlfriend."

"I thought – Oh." Max pauses, then cracks a smile. "Oh, Elijah, that's really awkward. Isn't it? Oh, yeah, man. That's awkward. Sorry, sweet eyes."

"Why would you think that? That she was his girlfriend?" Meredith asks, a frown still resting on her forehead.

"Do you really believe now is the appropriate time to be having these sorts of conversations, Meredith? I do recall you saying only moments ago that your main priority was Cedric. Take him up to your car and take him home. I will meet you there shortly. I have an associate upstairs who will accompany you, to ensure no harm befalls you. Move swiftly. He will help you with the body, and he will also take Natasha's body."

After Elijah's associate has taken Cedric's body away and then Natasha's, Meredith moves towards the stairs but doesn't walk up them, her eyes moving to Elijah where he stands just a few feet from the cell Max is in.

"If you leave us alone, he'll kill me and you'll have to explain that to Martin. You'll have to tell Johanna too!" Max shouts out angrily, but his voice holds a weakness to it.

"Johanna would not mourn you." Elijah says flatly. "And as for your father, Martin, he is not my concern."

"But he's Meredith's concern." Max calls out, a maddening laugh escaping his lips. "She's his concern. She can't walk away from this, from me. Meredith knows him. She knows Johanna, and she knows that Johanna wouldn't like this."

Meredith stops, turning to face him more. "I don't think Johanna would care."

Max smiles again, but it's weak and just as mad as his laugh. His smile seems unhinged, empty. "I know that she wouldn't."

"What does that mean?"

"I know what it's like. To not care about _anything_ at all." he sings out, stepping closer, but not too close to the bars. "She's not the only Saltzman with no humanity."

Elijah disregards his words, looking up slowly. "The lies spill so easily from your mouth."

"Not a lie." Max cuts him off aggressively, weak smile back on his lips. He lifts his hands to touch the bars but changes his mind. "I've had it off since I turned. Ask Martin, he'll tell you how hard it's been to..Deal with me."

"You can't have it off. If you had it off you wouldn't be scared in here." Meredith says, shaking her head. "You wouldn't be afraid. You wouldn't be feeling."

"Incorrect." Max counters, with a mocking tone, before a darker look spreads across his face and slips into his eyes. "I hated what I was, what I did. I hate it. I hate who I am. And I hate this. I'm not scared, I just want out so I can get back to doing the things that I was doing before."

"If you're trying to make us feel sorry for you, Max, then it's not working." Meredith's voice is stern and her expression is unwavering. "You forced Johanna to turn her humanity off, for what? Because you were jealous? Annoyed? Because she was inadvertently responsible for what happened to you? That's a weak excuse, Max. I don't think that's why you did it. You forced her to flip the switch because you didn't want to be alone in this, but you are. You are alone and the only person that you have to blame for this situation is yourself. Elijah, leave him. Take the key. He isn't our responsibility."

"You can't – You can't just leave me in here. In this cage. What if there are more? What if they come back?" Max calls out, fingers almost gripping the cage. He wants to hold on to the bars, to break them, to shake them until they break and free him.

"You would want to hope that they do return to you." Elijah says, stepping back from the cage. "Because if I return here in the future, and I will be returning some time very soon, and somehow you are still alive..I will pull your organs from your body while your heart continues to beat and I will make you feel again. I will make you feel pain and fear, and you will beg for mercy. And then when I am finished with you, and only then, I will kill you."

Meredith's eyes flicker over the cell bars and to Max for a moment longer before she moves quickly towards the stairs, rushing up them, because there's a part of her that knows she shouldn't be leaving him behind. Max calls out as they walk away, he cries out, clinging at the cage and screaming, and as much as Meredith tries to block out the sounds that he's making she can't, but they don't turn back for him, they leave him as his voice fades out into the distance.

* * *

The sky continues to darken and fade away around Damon as he walks down the middle of the road, his phone clutched tightly in one hand, the other kept by his side. His light eyes are trained on the road in front of him as he walks towards the hotel that Liz confirmed Martin apparently checked into an hour earlier. With a sigh, he lifts his phone and skims through it, silently disappointed by the lack of new messages or alerts. His disappointed stems from his desire to hear something from Johanna, anything. All that he needs is a sign from her, something to let him know she's okay, to let him know that he's not going crazy and that she was here – or maybe he is going crazy, maybe she was a hallucination.

Damon doesn't mind that though, the idea of going crazy and seeing Johanna because he'll get to see her – _he won't feel her touch_ a_nd that is something he misses the most –_ but he'll get to see her with his own eyes and she'll almost be real and that's almost enough. _Almost. _His fingers twitch on his phone as he fights the impulse to send her a text or call her, and eventually he loses the fight and he finds himself calling her. Damon isn't expecting much because he already knows she won't answer him or anyone else, but this is the first message he's left her since it all happened and he knows that he has to do this.

"I don't know where you are." he starts off, voice quieter than usual, quieter than he'd intended, but he can't get it to rise louder. "I don't know who you're with or if you're okay, but you're not alone even if you feel it."

Damon swallows thickly and looks away from the road, his eyes concentrating on the ground beneath his feet as he continues to move forward. He strays into the middle of the road, still focused on the ground as he momentarily forgets about the phone pressed to his ear.

"Just call someone." Damon says next, it comes across as a plea and it is.

He knows that he has no right to ask anything of her ever again, not after what they did to her, what they put her through and what he put her through, but he has to ask this of her because it's not for him. This is all for her.

"I know you probably hate me and everyone else right now." he manages to say, words still thick, almost fighting to stay inside. "But I need you to be okay, and it's not for me. It's for you. It's what you need. So, call someone. Please. And I'll leave you alone until you're ready."

The next thought that crosses Damon's mind brings him to a halt in the middle of the road, and he looks up, but not at the road, at the sky. He stares at it for a moment before shutting his eyes and lowering his head.

_What if you're never ready? _He silently asks her, words he can't form, words he can't even consider because he can't consider that. He can't think about losing her, or letting go, and he can't think about the very likely possibility that she has already let him go.

"Just let someone know you're okay, please, Johanna. They all care about you. So do I."

Damon hesitates before ending the call, placing his phone away in his pocket and lifting his hand to his face. He hears a car coming around the corner quickly but he doesn't move, he doesn't open his eyes, and then he feels it hit him. The impact throws his body forward miles, and he hits the ground harshly, bones breaking from the crash. Damon groans and tries to sit up, and in the distance he hears the driver stop their car and run towards him.

"What the hell were you doing in the middle of the road?" The voice shouts.

With a groan Damon sits up, his forehead wet with blood, his right arm broken out of place. His eyes focus and he finds the driver staring at him, and then he frowns at her angrily. Damon's head throbs and he can feel the blood spilling down, and his bones ache with wounds that heal slowly.

"Are you even old enough to drive?" he asks, frown deepening on his forehead.

The young driver frowns at him, walking closer. "Oh, shit. You're really hurt."

"I'm fine."

She reaches forward, offering help. "You're bleeding-"

"I said I'm fine." Damon knocks her hand away after she touches him, and he pulls himself to the ground slowly. "Go home. It's a school night."

"Hey, screw you. Don't tell me what to do." the young girl snaps at him, throwing her arms up in the air. "I was trying to help but fuck this. I don't owe you anything."

Damon's eyes widen and he steps closer. "You just hit me with you car!"

She rolls her eyes, looking back at him. "You were in the middle of the road!"

"Go home, little girl."

A fake smile fixes on her lips and she shakes her head, arms now folded over her chest. "Thanks, asshole."

"I'm the asshole?" Damon cracks his neck to the side, his injured arm still hanging by his side. "You just hit me with your car!"

"What do you want?" she asks, eyebrows raised. "Do you want award for it?"

"No, I don't want an award. I want to know what you were doing – and why you're driving that car. That car is way too expensive for a...What are you? Ten?"

She tucks her messy blonde hair back behind her ears, and looks back up at Damon. "I'm sixteen, asshole."

Damon mimics the expression of annoyance on her face. "I don't care. Go home."

"Fine." she answers quickly, turning back towards her car without looking back.

With another groan Damon snaps his arm back into place, then rolls it back a few times until it feels better. He straightens himself up and starts walking in the direction of the hotel again, the sound of the car speeding away in the distance as he does. It takes Damon longer than it should to reach the hotel, but he's walking slowly, like he's putting it off, like he doesn't want to reach it but eventually he does and he finds the room that Martin checked into.

Damon doesn't bother knocking and opens the door immediately, finding it unlocked. It's a small, dingy hotel with brown wallpaper and stained carpet. There are cracks and markings across all of the walls, an old dusty tv on a wooden stand at the end of a single bed, and a small bathroom in the corner of the room. The door to the bathroom is shut and Damon can hear the water running. He closes the door after entering and looks to the door seconds later as it opens, Martin appears, stumbling out.

His breath stinks of cigarettes and whiskey, and that is when Damon does another search of the room and finds empty bottles on the floor. There's an ashtray with a lit smoke on the bed, and a full bottle of whiskey beside it. Martin staggers out of the bathroom slowly, hair messy, eyes set on Damon like he's a threat but that disappears and he walks closer, slurring his words.

"What took ya so long?" Martin asks loudly. "Thought you were 'sposed to be the smart one."

"You're drunk?!" Damon exclaims loudly.

This causes Martin to smirk, and he staggers towards the bed in search of the cigarette he left. He picks it up and puts it to his lips, moving back slightly, his body swaying. He raises one hand and begins to speak.

"Y'need to leave, Damon. You gotta.." he responds slowly, body swaying slightly. He drops the cigarette to the ground, not putting it out, and reaches for the bottle.

Damon darts forward and puts the lit cigarette out with the bottom of his shoe, looking up at Martin with a look of disappointment on his face.

"Johanna was right." he says slowly, words cold. "You are selfish."

"What the fuck d'ya know about me?" Martin removes the lid from the whiskey, before shoving a hand against Damon's chest to push him backwards. "You don't know a damn. You don't know nothin."

"And you clearly do. You clearly have all the answers. Don't you, Martin?" Damon responds, reaching for the whiskey only to be pushed back by Martin again. He sighs and straightens himself up. "Don't touch me again, Martin."

"Get the hell out of here, boy." Martin presses the whiskey to his lips, drinking long, large mouthfuls before exhaling and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He takes a step forward and sways, almost hitting the wall but somehow managing to stop himself. "Just go. Go."

"You're a disappointment, Martin. What happened? You saw your bitch of an ex wife dead and decided to jump back on the wagon?" Damon steps closer, a darker look growing in his eyes. "Or is it off the wagon? I wouldn't know, I don't stop. But you know. You know what it is, because you've done this before. You say you'll do something or you'll be different, but you're not. You're never different. You never change."

"What are y'gonna do now, Damon? Huh?" Martin moves closer, words slurring together. "You gonna – Attack me again? Like at yours? Mmm? Hurt me? Because – because I'm just an old man. A dumb, useless old man."

Damon groans dramatically and almost rolls his eyes. "Stop playing the martyr. There are people worse off than you. There will always be people worse off than you. You don't have it half as bad as you think it do."

Martin chuckles and raises the bottle, muttering something beneath his breath before pressing the bottle back to his lips and drinking another mouthful. He holds the bottle in his hand by his side when he's finished for the moment, eyes moving back to meet Damon's. The thin smile that was resting on his lips is gone, and his eyes darken.

"Y'know what I want? Damon, I want..."

"What?" Damon moves closer, his words growing louder. "What do you want, Martin? To find your daughter or break your sobriety by getting drunk on whiskey in some dirty hotel room? What do you want?"

"I want to go back. Mmm." Martin answers quietly, almost the memory of a smile on his lips before it vanishes entirely. He looks up slowly, dull eyes filled with sadness. "I want – I wanna go back in time. Yeah. Back to when my kids were kids, back to before...This. And I want to get them out. Outta that house. Outta there. Somewhere new.. All of them. All four of them."

"Too late. It's too late, Martin. You can't go back and you can't keep sulking. This isn't about you. This isn't about your sob story, and how you screwed up as a father. This is about you saving your daughter right here and right now. Forget the past, you can't change that. You can't change what already happened, but you can change this. You can save Johanna."

Martin gives a sad shake of his head, drinking some more. "She can't be saved."

"Don't say that."

"I wanted to believe it. For so long, I did. But she has..." he stops, dizzy. "She's suffered. Too much. How can she come back? How can she survive?"

Damon moves back a step, like he's struggling to control himself, to hold himself back. He glances away from Martin for a moment as he finds a sense of calm, it's fleeting but it's something and it stops Damon from lashing out for a moment.

"Shut up, Martin. You're drunk. You don't know what you're saying." he finally says, and when he looks up Martin is drinking from the bottle again.

"You don't know." Martin says loudly, shaking his head. "You don't even know her."

"There's no point talking to you. You're just annoying and you're drunk, that's what you are. You're not seeing sense. You're not making sense. There's no point in being here." Damon responds almost immediately, his head now tilted to the side. "Is that what you want? To push everyone away?"

"Isn't that what you're doing, Damon? Is that you already did?"

He shakes his head briefly. "It's different."

"Mmmmm." Martin gestures to the door, spilling whiskey on the floor as he does. "Just go. Get out of here. I don't wanna have you here. You don't want to. So go."

"You're right, I don't want to be here!" Damon snaps back, fighting himself, fighting his words and his emotions as they threaten to explode. "There are many others places I would rather be right now, and many people I'd rather be with, but we are in this together. We are looking for your daughter together. But what did you do when you were needed, Martin? What did you do? You did nothing. You ran. You ran when it got hard."

Martin smiles again, but it's sad, empty. "Don't."

"Dont, what? Don't tell you the truth?" his voice cracks on the words, breaking. "Don't tell you what happened? It happened. You might not remember it, since you're selfishly drinking-"

"This is your fault." Martin steps forward quickly. "All of it."

"Great." Damon says, fixing a forced smile on his face. "And now we're on the blame train. Passengers: All of Mystic Falls. Including Team Pain in my ass."

"This is on you." Martin says slowly, voice almost dangerous as he takes another step towards Damon. His grip on the bottle in his hands tightens. "This is..All your fault."

"Like I don't know that already."

"I don't think you do. I think you act it. You act.." he nods, drinking some more. "You act all the time. Don't you? You pretend. Put on the mask, you think you can pretend. Pretend like you know it's your fault. Pretend to take the blame, and try to fix it, when all you want is.."

"What?" Damon asks. "What do I want?"

"Nothing. You want nothing. You can't. Because..." Martin trails off briefly, poking his finger into Damon's chest. "You don't have a heart. How can you want things if you don't have a heart?"

Damon stares at Martin for a moment and eventually takes a step back, somehow he manages to step away from him instead of forward. He takes another step away from him, eyes glued to the floor for a second, because he's afraid of what he could do if he doesn't step back.

"If it's anything to you, I don't either." Martin calls out, voice cracking on the words. "Have one. A heart. I don't have one. What I do, and how I live, I can't have one. And now because of – 'cause of you, and those people, my daughter doesn't have one anymore."

"If you were anyone else.." Damon speaks a moment later, lifting his eyes up from the dirty floor. He meets Martin's gaze and holds it, voice much colder as he speaks. "If you were anyone else but Johanna's father, I'd pull your non-existent heart right out of your decaying chest and walk away without flinching."

Martin raises a hand, pointing towards Damon. "And there is he. There's Damon."

"Damon is always here. I don't know why everyone thinks I'm putting on this act. This charade of a nice guy. I am not a nice guy. I am not a good guy. I am an ass. I do bad things. I've killed people. Innocent people. Bad people. I don't pretend to be anyone or anything. I'm a vampire. I don't deny that. I am not a good vampire. I am not good like my brother, or like Johanna, or anyone else that I know. I am not like them. I am the only like this, and I live with that. This is who I am. I don't put on acts. This is me." Damon snaps back, walking closer as he struggles to stay calm. "And before you go off on one of your painless and pointless speeches about how I am a good guy, and how I can't give up on myself, and how I'm going to die eventually – I know that. I know that no matter what I do, everything that I've ever done is going to catch up to me and something is going to get me. And I will not return from that. But right here and right now, I am alive. I am here I am trying to find a way to get your daughter back."

"We wouldn't be looking for her if it wasn't for you." Martin points out. "You know that. We all do."

"Don't you think I see that? That I think about it? I don't sleep. I don't get any escape, not that I deserve one." Damon answers instantly, the rage growing in his voice. "My only thoughts are about that and how I let her down. How this is all on me and it is. I am trying to find a way to get her back and fix it."

"She can't be fixed."

"Stop." Damon cuts across him aggressively. "Just stop saying that. Stop saying she can't be fixed. Stop saying it like she's broken."

"You just said you wanted – You said it. You said she needed to be fixed."

"I said I wanted to fix it. Get her humanity back. Help her somehow. She's not broken. She can come back from this. She can do it, but we just have to keep trying."

Martin shakes his head, walking away, backing down. "I can't. I can't do it."

"Why? Because it's hard for you?" Damon asks, then scoffs with disbelief. "No, I don't care how hard it is for you. I don't care how hard it is for anyone else, and I sure as hell don't care about how hard it is for anyone else. Imagine how hard it is for her-"

"Do you know how hard it is for me to be around you? To be around all of you people knowing what you did to my daughter? And she never did a damn thing wrong by any of you, did she? Never. She saved your lives. She saved you, and she saved Jeremy." he says quietly, dropping the bottle to the ground and leaving it there as the liquids run out of it, emptying it, leaving it to waste. "I know. Not all of it, but I know parts and she saved you. But all you did, all you ever did, was lie to her and use her to your own advantage. You don't get to talk about how hard it is for her when you put her in this situation."

"This is on me but it's on you too. You don't remember your last conversation with her too well, do you? It was about that ass you call a son. Max. He killed her best friend, and do you remember what you did, Martin? What did you do?" Damon shouts back fiercely. "You told her you wouldn't let her hurt him. You wouldn't let _her_ kill Max or hurt him, after he just killed innocent, annoying, Matt Donovan who never did a damn thing to deserve that? I carry most of the blame in this,but you are not blameless. You're not. You weren't there when she was younger. You weren't even here now. You didn't come looking. You abandoned her. You left her to be broken, so if she is broken then that is on all of us."

"If I didn't wanna waste this..." Martin bends over to pick up the bottle, inspecting what remains before he looks up at Damon again. "If I didn't wanna drink this, I'd put it through you right now."

"Then do it." Damon steps closer, a daring look on his face. "Put the bottle through me, Marty. Do it. I deserve it, to feel pain. Or better yet, stake me. Go on. Right to the chest. I won't feel a thing, but at least I'll be good. At least I'll stop being a pain your ass."

"Just get out of here, Damon. Go home. She doesn't want to be found, and I'm not going to push her." Martin turns away, stumbling back towards the bed. "Give her what she wants. Let her go."

* * *

**A/N:** **Okay, firstly I'm sorry this took me longer than usual to update. I've been so busy with work I haven't had much free time in the past week, but I'm hoping to have some more soon. Secondly, I know this story has been "slow" in parts - but that's the process that I feel it has to go through to set these characters up for what's coming next, and even though it's slow and Johanna has been absent for all of it, I hope you've enjoyed it and continue to enjoy it..**

**Not long to go yet, and you will soon have the answers you've been looking for.**

**Thank you to Adela and twin of a sister for reviewing. Enjoy.**

**X**


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